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They buried a friend yesterday.


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Just today, I found out through a former co-worker (and still good hang bud of mine) that another former co-worker of ours finally lost her battle to cancer.

 

Pam Daale was about my age, and an incredible story of survival. Vibrant and an active equestrain, she was confined to a wheelchair a few years back after a horse accident not unlike that of Christopher Reeves'. To add to the mix, she was diagnosed with cancer (breast, I believe, but my memory has faded on that...cancer usually ends up just being cancer), and endured years of on/off again chemo, wreaking havoc on her ability to do her job, or at the least LOOK the part...she'd go on camera with wigs that were obviously wigs but worked right through it. She managed to raise two kids--the second one I believe AFTER she was confined to the chair; she had just gotten pregnant when I first met her--and provide the sole income for the family when her husband was laid off. She was a weather anchor at KMGH channel 7 here in Denver; we spent many evenings/weekends chatting in between news shows, and just getting to know each other. Sometimes, if time was running out before her next on-camera appearance, I'd grab the handles of her wheelchair and kick it into fifth gear to get her down to the studio for her cut-in. She had a great time with that, even if she wasn't used to the speed.

 

But most of all, she was a rock. Always pleasant in the face of adversity, always beautiful, always smiling. ALWAYS had that perspective on things that made you step back and realize all the good things you have in life and might be taking for granted. When the work atmosphere got to be too much for me and I was negotiating my next job, Pam was there to let me know that whatever it was I was feeling from management was management's problem, and not mine; that I had a hell of a lot to offer, I was smart, funny, etc....basically, the kind of person who reminds you of all the good in yourself, when you're needing it the most. I never got to really say goodbye to her when I left the station, but always meant to write a card and thank her for her beauty and support. Time flies by your "meant to" 's.

 

Last I knew, she'd had another relapse. Judging from the tone of it, I figured she'd barrel through this one, just like all the others; it left my mind shortly thereafter.

 

Her funeral was yesterday. My buddy Ian mentioned it on the phone today, and was in tears out of disgust for himself for not letting me know, when I told him I had no idea she'd died. She left a powerful legacy, in the most humble of ways.

 

Whatever YOU do to celebrate a person's life--a prayer, a toast, a mojo-loan, a thought, a good deed--please try to take a moment and honor/thank someone you've never met, because there aren't enough people like her in the world.

 

Her name was Pam Daale, and she was truly a beautiful friend.

I've upped my standards; now, up yours.
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You give a phenomenal tribute to someone who truly deserves it, yet, were she here, she'd probably be embarrassed, telling you to "keep quiet". I know the type. There are far too few of them in this world. The type who brighten everyone else's day despite their adversity. The type who keep smiling and never lose their spirit while enduring a train wreck, while guys like me are whining and complaining over a hangnail.

 

I raise a hearty glass to you, Pam. I wish I'd known you, but thanks to our friend Offramp, I feel like I did... at least a little.

"Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine"
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I too am very sorry for your loss, Offramp.

 

I read a bit about Pam Daale just now. Seemed amazingly courageous. There's an online journal here in which she documents her illness and her experiences. She seemed incredibly brave, and fought every step of the way.

 

Do not go gentle into that good night,

Old age should burn and rave at close of day;

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

 

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,

Because their words had forked no lightning they

Do not go gentle into that good night.

 

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright

Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

 

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,

And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,

Do not go gentle into that good night.

 

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight

Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

 

And you, my father, there on the sad height,

Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.

Do not go gentle into that good night.

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

 

Dylan Thomas

 

- Jeff

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I am very sorry to hear about your loss. Pam sounds like someone we all need in our lives and who you cared for quite a bit.

 

My girlfriend's mom had breast cancer a couple of years ago and has since beaten it. Ever since then Selena has been a constant breast cancer research supporter going on fundraising drives, walks even baking to earn money. I wrote a song based on her drive to see that no one suffers or looses a loved one if there is anything she can do about it.

 

"Selena Walks"

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I met Pam several times while working in TV. She raised my opinion of local news talent, which was a pretty damn hard thing to do. It was pretty sad when she passed.

Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.

Mark Twain (1835-1910)

--------------------

Reporter: "Ah, do you think you could destroy the world?" The Tick: "Ehgad I hope not. That's where I keep all my stuff!"

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Offramp,

 

Sorry to hear about the loss of your dear friend; she sounds like a beautiful person to have been friends with. Finding out a close friend has passed after the fact is one of the hardest things to do... I've been there and it was about a year after a special friend had died that I learned!

 

Just recently I learned through the grape vine that another one of my best friends that I've not been in close contact with due to our schedules was diagnosed with colen cancer. I thought it was something that had just happened, and rather than trusting the grapevine and gossip, I called Treena to find out the facts... as I had just spoke with her a few months prior and she had not mentioned her affliction. Actually, she and I had bumped into each other at another friends funeral who had lost "her" life to cancer; that being the last time we had had time to chat any at all.

 

When I called her and questioned the cancer, she was incredibly embarrassed while still confirming the fact; she had hoped that the rumors had not become the talk of the shop. I told her that that was the first I had heard anything about it, and the subject was only brought up because I had been discussing some of the good times that she and I had had, while being partners on the job, with another coworker. Upon the coworker hearing the name, it triggered the conversation relative to Treena's health; she's been in different facilities now for about 6 years, but I still consider her to be a GREAT friend and reminisce about the good times we had when the opportunity arises while talking to other coworkers familiar with her. I asked Treena why she had not mentioned it the last time we talked and she told me that she didn't want people feeling sorry for her.

 

I asked her how long she had known she had it and she blew me away when she told me for two years. I have spoke with her several occassions and she never mentioned the "C" word. When she learned of my colen ressection, and then the hernia following it where the surgery had to be reconstructed; she mentioned that she had had some problems with her colen but passed it off as something minor when I inquired as to the seriousness of her condition.

 

She has always been extremely independent and I questioned when she moved back in to her father's home if there was anything serious going on; she just said that she was experiencing some financial issues. I offered to help out monitarily or in whatever way I could and she told me that she thought she had the situation under control; still no breath of cluing me in on the fact that she had been diagnosed with cancer and was undergoing Kemo. Since I don't "see" her that often anymore, I wasn't aware of her absences.

 

When I say "one of my best friends" I have already told this lady that if I "EVER" remarry again, I will ask her to stand beside me at the alter as my Maitron of Honor.

 

Her having cancer has not affected her pleasant and vibrant attitude whenever we talk, and I'm sure that's why she has tried to keep a hat on the topic. I feel at a loss though, because if anything ever happens in a negative way, I want to be there for her in any way I can bel I don't know if I would get a call because she's the only one who would be calling me. When she told me that she didn't want people feeling sorry for her, I told her that I wasn't feeling sorry, but rather letting her know that she had a true friend that would be there for her as she has been there for me in my life through troubled times.

 

Words cannot describe how beautiful this person is, but even prior to being diagnosed with cancer, Treena has been the voice of reason, the logical explanation, the eyes of perception, the words of comfort, and the icon of strength to any and all who have the privilege of knowing her. It will tear a huge chunk of my heart out if I ever have to hear that she passed away; I pray that she prevails this demon frequently (as she is not in remission as of yet) and I hope that someone will let me know if her condition worsens... I would stand by her side as I would my own family and offer that support.... I don't ever want to find out that something happened to her to where she died "AFTER THE FACT" that would truly crush me.

 

Sorry to hijack the thread.... It's just really hard to lose someone you care dearly for. I've already lost one best friend many years ago without being informed.... fell out of touch due to changing jobs and adjusting to the crazy schedules at the Post Office. I don't want to ever have to go through that again. I called Treena tonight, although she was at work, and left message with her father to wish her a Happy Easter for me in the event she and I don't make a connection in playing phone tag throughout the weekend.

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Originally posted by Ani:

Finding out a close friend has passed after the fact is one of the hardest things to do...

That's the basis of James Taylor's song "Fire and Rain". He'd been working hard on his debut album in London, and hadn't seen one of his best friends from Greenwich Village, Susie Schnerr, for quite awhile. She committed suicide, but his friends didn't want to bum him out while he was having his big break, so they didn't tell him.

 

When he found out (months after the fact), it inspired the first lines of the song:

 

Just yesterday morning, they let me know you were gone

Suzanne the plans we made put an end to you.

 

- Jeff

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I always heard she was his girlfriend. Did I get that wrong?

 

Oh, and his friends didn't want to tell him because he was working with THE BEATLES at Apple (at least, Paul and John).

Good friends, no doubt, placed in a tough situation.

I've upped my standards; now, up yours.
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Originally posted by offramp:

I always heard she was his girlfriend. Did I get that wrong?

She's described as either, or both. They were close, regardless.

 

Oh, and his friends didn't want to tell him because he was working with THE BEATLES at Apple (at least, Paul and John).

Good friends, no doubt, placed in a tough situation.

Absolutely.

 

- Jeff

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