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Do you think this Lyric has any commercial potential?


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This came from real life. I'd like to know if you think this has any commerical appeal. I like the music I have for it. I don't mean a million seller, I just mean do you think it's something stupid to write about or an okay thing or something that's fine to write about or what.

 

I guess my music for this is uptempo, folk-rockish.

 

=

 

WALL OF PAIN

©Copyright 2004 All rights reserved

 

It looked like German Shepherds there, strung up on the fence

With countless dead ones hanging in a line

Poor coyotes met their match, runnings no defense

WALL OF PAIN was painted on the sign

 

I couldnt help but feel for her, Dixie, my sweet dog

Wonderin why so many had to die

And then she started whining, then she stood up on that log

Howling at the spirit in the sky

 

[ CHORUS: ]

Ah-ooh-ooh-ohh

Ah-ooh-ooh-ohh

Howling at the Sure Shot WALL OF PAIN

It said Call us at this number if your ranch wants its own wall

Well make em fall, well try to get em all

Well string up your Sure Shot WALL OF PAIN

 

I called to complain and said I guess this makes your glad

It looks like you killed Mother Natures hounds

I asked if coyotes had been eating any calves

He said No, he just likes watching them go down

 

[ CHORUS REPEAT ]

 

[ BRIDGE: ]

I asked Do coyotes put a burden on the land

He said No, we shoot for fun, theyre not out of hand

 

[ BREAK ]

 

[ CHORUS REPEAT ]

WALL OF PAIN Hall of Fame

To me its just a Hall of Shame

 

===

 

OLD VERSION:

 

WALL OF PAIN

©Copyright 2004 All rights reserved

 

It looked like German Shepherds there, strung up on the fence

With countless dead crows hanging in a line

Poor coyotes met their match, runnings no defense

WALL OF PAIN was painted on the sign

 

[ CHORUS: ]

WALL OF PAIN

Hall of Fame

Welcome to our Sure Shot WALL OF PAIN

Call us at this number if your ranch wants its own wall

Coyotes or crows, we try to get them all

Well string up your Sure Shot WALL OF PAIN

 

I called to complain about the Sure Shot WALL OF PAIN

Saying I bet Mother Nature frowns

I asked if coyotes had been eating any calves

He said No, he just likes bringing them down

 

[ CHORUS REPEAT ]

 

[ BRIDGE: ]

I asked Do coyotes multiply too fast for the land

He said No, we shoot for fun, theyre not out of hand

I said What about those crows, do they hurt the crops

He said No, we shoot for fun, we like to shoot a lot

 

[ BREAK ]

 

[ CHORUS REPEAT ]

WALL OF PAIN

Hall of Shame

> > > [ Live! ] < < <

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Originally posted by tradivoro:

I think this would make a good metal tune, have a guy with a voice like steel being scraped against a blackboard to put it over the edge... No joke, to me, it definitely has that kind of potential..

Don't you mean "Cookie Monster Vocals"

 

;););)

Lynn G
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I don't think in terms of metal because I don't listen to it but maybe you're right. I like the tune I have. Just wondering if the theme in the lyric has any possibility. Like, does anyone care. I would think so. Surely there are zillions of people who hate senseless slaughter.

 

Originally posted by tradivoro:

I think this would make a good metal tune, have a guy with a voice like steel being scraped against a blackboard to put it over the edge... No joke, to me, it definitely has that kind of potential..

> > > [ Live! ] < < <

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A little...ahem...advice, take it for what it's worth, Duke...

 

Don't try to write for commercial appeal. Write what speaks to you. There'd be no John Prines, John Hiatts, Bruce Cockburns, or countless others if they worried about whether or not their lyrics had "commercial appeal".

 

No...that lyric doesn't have commercial appeal. Does that mean it isn't good? Of course not. Does that mean it couldn't be a hit? Of course not. "Seminole Wind" by John Anderson (not the guy from Yes) comes to mind. Just keep on writing.

"Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine"
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Originally posted by Tedster:

A little...ahem...advice, take it for what it's worth, Duke...

 

Don't try to write for commercial appeal. Write what speaks to you. There'd be no John Prines, John Hiatts, Bruce Cockburns, or countless others if they worried about whether or not their lyrics had "commercial appeal".

 

No...that lyric doesn't have commercial appeal. Does that mean it isn't good? Of course not. Does that mean it couldn't be a hit? Of course not. "Seminole Wind" by John Anderson (not the guy from Yes) comes to mind. Just keep on writing.

The reason I posted this is because my songwriter 'mentor' said he "didn't get it." Heck, I thought it was a good message in there and very clear what had happened. And I specifically said SEMINOLE WIND comes to mind. But he doesn't think like me. I write a lot of stuff he gets (because it's traditional) and some he doesn't get because it's not. But he also says that I write stuff on the edge and he loves that. I freak him with my stuff and sometimes he thinks it's one way and it's exactly the opposite. Which makes me happy. Literally.

> > > [ Live! ] < < <

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Wow. You were thinking "Seminole Wind" too? Bizarre. I guess any kinda spooky song about injustice or some unnecessary inhumanity might draw a parallel.

 

Hmmm...meaning no disrespect to your songwriter mentor, but, one doesn't necessarily have to get "everything". Maybe I'm just dumb, but there are songs I've listened to for years and not known for sure what they're about...and then someone explains it to me and I'll slap my forehead and go "Oh". Or, perhaps I'll slap my forehead at first, and then listen to the song again, and think that it's about something else entirely. Or, you can play John Lennon, and toss words out there and let people chase their tails trying to figure out what it's about, while you're just watching and laughing. No rules...except to have fun...and if you have something to say (which it sounds like you did), by all means, say it (which again, it sounds like you did).

"Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine"
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eh livemusic,

 

if you hold down the alt key and hit 0169 you can get the copyright symbol.

 

© like this.

 

"©Copyright 2004 All rights reserved"

 

©livemusic 2004 all rights reserved

 

_______________________________________

 

you kind of asked two different questions.

 

"commerical appeal?" no. peta might like it.

 

"I just mean do you think it's something stupid to write about or an okay thing or something that's fine to write about or what."

 

write whatever you want. if you have a genuine passion for the subject, it will come thru in the performance/quality of the song.

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Originally posted by Tedster:

Wow. You were thinking "Seminole Wind" too? Bizarre. I guess any kinda spooky song about injustice or some unnecessary inhumanity might draw a parallel.

 

Hmmm...meaning no disrespect to your songwriter mentor, but, one doesn't necessarily have to get "everything". Maybe I'm just dumb, but there are songs I've listened to for years and not known for sure what they're about...and then someone explains it to me and I'll slap my forehead and go "Oh". Or, perhaps I'll slap my forehead at first, and then listen to the song again, and think that it's about something else entirely. Or, you can play John Lennon, and toss words out there and let people chase their tails trying to figure out what it's about, while you're just watching and laughing. No rules...except to have fun...and if you have something to say (which it sounds like you did), by all means, say it (which again, it sounds like you did).

Yep, Seminole Wind, for sure. Because I love that song BIGTIME and I thought of it because I take it as a song about how we've butchered everything up. I saw John Anderson a few months ago and I wondered about him. He's big into hunting and fishing. I hope he doesn't blast shit away like lots of hunters.

 

My songwriter mentor not getting it... exactly. Precisely why I am actually getting a bit peeved by it. Because if it is not crystal clear in the lyric, it's no good to him. Because he writes one thing, traditional country. I have LOTS like that and he loves them but I write some ON PURPOSE that I do not totally reveal. It could go more than one way. Which I like. It could be what you want it to be. MOST of my songs are very straightforward, though.

 

Traditional country, would they like this song? I guess not but traditional country NEEDS to have more songs that slam some of their own fans. "Oh, you can't write THAT... that might make somebody MAD." Yuck. So nothing ever changes. Some of them need slamming. There's a LOT of rednecks with some less than stellar principles. Although, I'm sure the WOMEN fans would probably believe in the message. The men are the one who do the wasteful killing just to be killing.

> > > [ Live! ] < < <

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Oh, yeah, forgot about that.

 

Originally posted by eh steve:

eh livemusic,

 

if you hold down the alt key and hit 0169 you can get the copyright symbol.

 

© like this.

 

"©Copyright 2004 All rights reserved"

 

©livemusic 2004 all rights reserved

 

_______________________________________

 

you kind of asked two different questions.

 

"commerical appeal?" no. peta might like it.

 

"I just mean do you think it's something stupid to write about or an okay thing or something that's fine to write about or what."

 

write whatever you want. if you have a genuine passion for the subject, it will come thru in the performance/quality of the song.

> > > [ Live! ] < < <

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Well, a lot of traditional country...truly traditional...is "say it as you mean it". If you're talking about cheating, say cheating. If you're talking about drinking, say drinking, etc. The "play on words" has always been big, but it never gets obscure. Like the line:

 

"Her woman's intuition must have told her

I was into wishin' I could leave".

 

But, very straightforward...so it doesn't surprise me in the least that someone who writes traditional country wouldn't get your song.

 

Ask your songwriter mentor what he thinks of Johnny Cash's cover of Nine Inch Nails' "Hurt".

"Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine"
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