LiveMusic Posted February 27, 2004 Share Posted February 27, 2004 It could be a movie or an interview. Whatever. Like, Tedster said... Favorite line from a James Bond movie: "James, you always were a cunning linguist". That's pretty good. Pussy Galore. Lotta Fagina. From James Bond. What else. John Carson, with Arnold Palmer's wife on there, wasn't it. She said, no HE said "Do you do anything to give Arnold good luck before he plays?" And she said "Sometimes I kiss his balls." And HE said "I'll bet that makes his putter flutter." Something like that. Was Raquel Welch on there? Or maybe Sophia Loren? Heck, I don't remember. Some woman had a cat on her lap I think and said "Would you like to pet my pussy?" And HE said "Move that cat and I will." That's what I recall. Heck I dunno, mabye it's urban legend. > > > [ Live! ] < < < Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rog Posted February 27, 2004 Share Posted February 27, 2004 "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy" - Tom Waits. In fact, pretty much anything Tom has said qualifies as a clever phrase. "That's what the internet is for. Slandering others anonymously." - Banky Edwards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DC Posted February 27, 2004 Share Posted February 27, 2004 Women should be obscene and not heard. -John Lennon -David http://www.garageband.com/artist/MichaelangelosMuse Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phait Posted February 27, 2004 Share Posted February 27, 2004 "A waffle is like a pancake, with a syrup trap" "I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shishkabobs." "A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer." "Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you are an alcoholic. Goddamn it Otto, you have Lupis... one of those two doesn't sound right." -Mitch Hedberg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
F7sound - Posted February 27, 2004 Share Posted February 27, 2004 "Ward, I think you were a little hard on the Beaver last night". - June Cleaver Michael Oster F7 Sound and Vision ReGurgiTron - hard on the Beaver every night. Michael Oster F7 Sound and Vision http://www.F7sound.com http://www.regurgitron.com http://www.LaptopNoise.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tedster Posted February 27, 2004 Share Posted February 27, 2004 I can't think of any others right at the moment, but I'm enjoying reading these. "Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Salyphus Posted February 27, 2004 Share Posted February 27, 2004 "Would you like to Super Size that?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Salyphus Posted February 27, 2004 Share Posted February 27, 2004 OK here's the best one-liner ever: "If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bunny Knutson Posted February 27, 2004 Share Posted February 27, 2004 "I'd never join a club that would accept me as a member." -Groucho Marx https://bunny.bandcamp.com/ https://theystolemycrayon.bandcamp.com/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Zeger Posted February 27, 2004 Share Posted February 27, 2004 "Writing about music is like dancing about architecture." Attributed to Elvis Costello (the author of many clever phrases) from a Musician magazine interview with Timothy White. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hound Dog Posted February 27, 2004 Share Posted February 27, 2004 Lloyd Bentson to Dan Quayle: "Senator, I served with Jack Kennedy. I knew Jack Kennedy. Jack Kennedy was a friend of mine. Senator, you're no Jack Kennedy." Yum, Yum! Eat em up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
comfortat Posted February 27, 2004 Share Posted February 27, 2004 In "Goodbye Columbus", Richard Benjamin and the girl lead (forgot her name) are sitting by a lake having a deep philosophical discussion: Benjamin : "I'm a liver". Woman : "And I'm a pancreas". Kaiser Sosse' (played by Kevin Spacey)in "the usual suspects": "The greatest trick the Devil ever did was convincing the world that he did not exist." the Beatles: "obla di obla da" If you don't wanna be nibbled, don't play with the bunny. God created Eve and me, not Steve and me. - Adam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnS Posted February 27, 2004 Share Posted February 27, 2004 Norm from Cheers Women..... you can't live with them.... pass the beer nuts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Zeger Posted February 27, 2004 Share Posted February 27, 2004 Originally posted by JohnS: Norm from Cheers Women..... you can't live with them.... pass the beer nutsMy favorite Norm-ism: "It's a dog eat dog world out there...and I'm wearing Milk Bone underwear." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
urbanhiker Posted February 27, 2004 Share Posted February 27, 2004 Michael Ventura: "What happens isn't the truth just because it happens" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnS Posted February 27, 2004 Share Posted February 27, 2004 Originally posted by Mark Zeger: My favorite Norm-ism: "It's a dog eat dog world out there...and I'm wearing Milk Bone underwear." Sam: NORM.. how is life in the fast lane? Norm: I wouldn't know. I can't find the on ramp. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheFunkman Posted February 27, 2004 Share Posted February 27, 2004 "So who are you gonna believe, me or your own eyes?!" - Groucho Marx "Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac." - George Carlin. "It's not the heat...it's the cupidity!" - J.S. Perelman "If more of us valued food, cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world." - J. R. R. Tolkien Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zeronyne Posted February 27, 2004 Share Posted February 27, 2004 Originally posted by LiveMusic: Was Raquel Welch on there? Or maybe Sophia Loren? Heck, I don't remember. Some woman had a cat on her lap I think and said "Would you like to pet my pussy?" And HE said "Move that cat and I will." That's what I recall. Heck I dunno, mabye it's urban legend.Sorry, that's an urban legend. LINK "For instance" is not proof. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kendrix Posted February 27, 2004 Share Posted February 27, 2004 How can i miss you when you wont go away? (I dare you to try this one on your significant other) Check out some tunes here: http://www.garageband.com/artist/KenFava Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meccajay Posted February 27, 2004 Share Posted February 27, 2004 Woman, Can't live with'em, can't leave 'em by the curb when you're done! Bruce Willis (Moonlighting) TROLL . . . ish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Botch. Posted February 27, 2004 Share Posted February 27, 2004 Was doing a gig years ago, I was playing "Orange Blossom" on the fiddle, wireless, walking between the patrons' tables. A waitress was giving one table its drinks, there was still a "fru-fru" drink on her tray with the cherry stem sticking out, I grabbed the stem, popped the cherry in my mouth, and kept playing. At the end of the song I hear a female voice yell, "Hey fiddle player, you took my cherry!" It popped into my head instantly: I yelled back, "Damn, I thought you looked familiar!" We couldn't play for ten minutes we were laughing so hard. Botch "Eccentric language often is symptomatic of peculiar thinking" - George Will www.puddlestone.net Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meccajay Posted February 27, 2004 Share Posted February 27, 2004 You treat a lady like a dame, and a dame like a lady. -Frank Sinatra I started with nothing in this business, and after all these years Ive managed to hold onto most of it.. (??) What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in 2 bodies. -Aristotle Happyness is good health, and a bad memory. -Ingrid Bergman TROLL . . . ish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archer Posted February 27, 2004 Share Posted February 27, 2004 Stephen Wright, "I've written several children's booksnot on purpose." Me and my two dogs, Remington and Winchester Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnS Posted February 27, 2004 Share Posted February 27, 2004 OUCH..OUCH..OUCH,OUCH,OUCH..OUCH,OUCH. Rodney King No I am not a racist, and My apologies if you are offended by my sense of humor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KenElevenShadows Posted February 27, 2004 Share Posted February 27, 2004 "My religion is not to be ashamed of myself when I die." -Milarepa, 15th Century Tibetan poet and saint. Ken Lee Photography - photos and books Eleven Shadows ambient music The Mercury Seven-cool spacey music Linktree to various sites Instagram Nightaxians Video Podcast Eleven Shadows website Ken Lee Photography Pinterest Page Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thomas Wilburn Posted February 27, 2004 Share Posted February 27, 2004 "It's not that I'm using. It's more like my body has developed a massive drug deficiency." --A character from William Gibson's Neuromancer Four String Riot the myspaces, we hates it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ihategarybettman Posted February 27, 2004 Share Posted February 27, 2004 "I have standards. They're low, but I have them." Mae West Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jode Posted February 27, 2004 Share Posted February 27, 2004 Here in the south, we have all sorts of colorful language. When someone makes an unreasonable request, or starts a sentence with "I wish...", the appropriate response is either, "Well, people in hell want ice water, too," or, "Wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which fills up faster." I heard comedian Jerry Clower once refer to a pointy-headed intellectual type as "educated beyond his intelligence." And one I've been using a lot lately on the miserable snowbirds around here, courtesy of the man, Mark Twain: "Everyone complains about the weather, but no one does anything about it." Favorite twisted lyrical turn lately, from Primus's "Lacquerhead": He was a boy of soft demeanor And he loved his carburetor cleaner "I had to have something, and it wasn't there. I couldn't go down the street and buy it, so I built it." Les Paul Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lrossmusic Posted February 28, 2004 Share Posted February 28, 2004 If I knew I was going to live this long I would have taken better care of myself. -Eubie Blake at 99 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrianPeet Posted February 28, 2004 Share Posted February 28, 2004 "You know what they say... Time wounds all heels." - Hawkeye from "MASH" "I'm in rare form as usual." - Eric Boles Brian Peet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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