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OT - The most clever phrases ever


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It could be a movie or an interview. Whatever. Like, Tedster said...

 

Favorite line from a James Bond movie:

 

"James, you always were a cunning linguist".

 

That's pretty good. Pussy Galore. Lotta Fagina. From James Bond.

 

What else. John Carson, with Arnold Palmer's wife on there, wasn't it. She said, no HE said "Do you do anything to give Arnold good luck before he plays?" And she said "Sometimes I kiss his balls." And HE said "I'll bet that makes his putter flutter." Something like that.

 

Was Raquel Welch on there? Or maybe Sophia Loren? Heck, I don't remember. Some woman had a cat on her lap I think and said "Would you like to pet my pussy?" And HE said "Move that cat and I will." That's what I recall. Heck I dunno, mabye it's urban legend.

> > > [ Live! ] < < <

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"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy" - Tom Waits.

 

In fact, pretty much anything Tom has said qualifies as a clever phrase.

"That's what the internet is for. Slandering others anonymously." - Banky Edwards.
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"A waffle is like a pancake, with a syrup trap"

 

"I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shishkabobs."

 

"A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer."

 

"Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you are an alcoholic. Goddamn it Otto, you have Lupis... one of those two doesn't sound right."

 

-Mitch Hedberg

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In "Goodbye Columbus", Richard Benjamin and the girl lead (forgot her name) are sitting by a lake having a deep philosophical discussion:

 

Benjamin : "I'm a liver".

Woman : "And I'm a pancreas".

 

Kaiser Sosse' (played by Kevin Spacey)in "the usual suspects":

"The greatest trick the Devil ever did was convincing the world that he did not exist."

 

the Beatles: "obla di obla da"

If you don't wanna be nibbled, don't play with the bunny.

 

God created Eve and me, not Steve and me. - Adam

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"So who are you gonna believe, me or your own eyes?!" - Groucho Marx

 

"Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac." - George Carlin.

 

"It's not the heat...it's the cupidity!" - J.S. Perelman

"If more of us valued food, cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world." - J. R. R. Tolkien
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Originally posted by LiveMusic:

 

Was Raquel Welch on there? Or maybe Sophia Loren? Heck, I don't remember. Some woman had a cat on her lap I think and said "Would you like to pet my pussy?" And HE said "Move that cat and I will." That's what I recall. Heck I dunno, mabye it's urban legend.

Sorry, that's an urban legend.

 

LINK

"For instance" is not proof.

 

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Was doing a gig years ago, I was playing "Orange Blossom" on the fiddle, wireless, walking between the patrons' tables. A waitress was giving one table its drinks, there was still a "fru-fru" drink on her tray with the cherry stem sticking out, I grabbed the stem, popped the cherry in my mouth, and kept playing. At the end of the song I hear a female voice yell, "Hey fiddle player, you took my cherry!"

 

It popped into my head instantly: I yelled back, "Damn, I thought you looked familiar!" We couldn't play for ten minutes we were laughing so hard. :D

Botch

"Eccentric language often is symptomatic of peculiar thinking" - George Will

www.puddlestone.net

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You treat a lady like a dame, and a dame like a lady.

-Frank Sinatra

 

I started with nothing in this business, and after all these years Ive managed to hold onto most of it..

(??)

 

What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in 2 bodies.

-Aristotle

 

Happyness is good health, and a bad memory.

-Ingrid Bergman

TROLL . . . ish.
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"My religion is not to be ashamed of myself when I die." -Milarepa, 15th Century Tibetan poet and saint.
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Here in the south, we have all sorts of colorful language. When someone makes an unreasonable request, or starts a sentence with "I wish...", the appropriate response is either, "Well, people in hell want ice water, too," or, "Wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which fills up faster."

 

I heard comedian Jerry Clower once refer to a pointy-headed intellectual type as "educated beyond his intelligence." :thu:

 

And one I've been using a lot lately on the miserable snowbirds around here, courtesy of the man, Mark Twain: "Everyone complains about the weather, but no one does anything about it."

 

Favorite twisted lyrical turn lately, from Primus's "Lacquerhead":

 

He was a boy of soft demeanor

And he loved his carburetor cleaner

:eek:

"I had to have something, and it wasn't there. I couldn't go down the street and buy it, so I built it."

 

Les Paul

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