OT...Have you ever considered just giving it all up?

[Tedster]

Not music...the daily rat race. What would you give it up for?

 

Music?

 

Time?

 

True love?

 

Just curious...

[Philip OKeefe]

Almost daily. At least the music thing. Why? Because I suck. Or at least my head frequently tells me I suck - I really don't, but then again, I hold myself to pretty high standards... I don't compare myself to the studio across town, but to the records I consider classics... and when compared to that, I do frequently suck. Okay, I don't suck, but I'm not satisfied either. But I can't quit because it's not just something I "do", but a part of who I "am".

 

Oh, and for me, music IS the "daily rat race". And while I generally like what I do (love what I do...), it's like anything else - there's fun sessions and not as fun sessions. The fun ones are when you have great songs, great musicians who are nice people and good gear... those are the fun sessions, and those are what keep me doing this. Those sessions make me look like a genius - past a certain level of compentency, it's much more about the song you're recording and the musicians who are playing it than it is about the gear or even the engineer... not that you don't want a good engineer or good gear...

 

Yes, I'm babbling - sorry.

 

So Ted, are you going to quit the Met thing and become a rock star or what?

[Tedster]

HA! No...but it is like this...I make a decent living doing what I do, but it's so restrictive. Sometimes I think I'd just like to give it up, take an old acoustic down to the Keys, get a job scraping the barnacles off boats, and play at night for tips. The Jimmy Buffett lifestyle, I guess. I mean, we only get one chance at life, and to go through it with the "salary" carrot in front of you somehow doesn't seem justified..

 

There was an ad once...two old guys, possibly brothers, looking at an old Army photo of them in Europe during WWII...and one guy says to the other, "You remember when those Swedish nurses wanted us to go with 'em for that weekend? We should have gone". It's like, you get to that phase in life where you realize that, as Eminem once said "This opportunity comes once in a lifetime". And it doesn't necessarily even have to be a great opportunity, just the opportunity to do the things you want. It's all a tradeoff.

[Steve LeBlanc]

yeah but it's so expensive to live here that I'd have to give up the weather too...ain't gonna happen

[Kendrix]

I sometimes say "If I was a subsistence farmer on Maui my quality of life would be higher."

In some sense I actually beleive this.

especially depending on what I might be growing on the farm

However, I never seriously consider removing my self from the race altogether.

I have seriously considered changing the race Im in.

I think its called a mid-life crisis.

[Tedster]

Originally posted by Kendrix:

I think its called a mid-life crisis.

Bingo!

[Archer]

I have thought about it quite a bit. I just bought a modest house (6 yr old manufactured with 1050 sq ft). I came very close to just buying a travel trailer to live very cheap, that way I don't have to work as much to make ends meet and can spend more of my time being creative.

 

I don't think I'm made for the corporate life but the law just won't let me homestead somewhere anymore and live the simple life.

[Sylver]

I'm just looking for an excuse. If I had a way to pay the bills, I'd do it.

 

But, then again, I suck and could never really make it as a musician. At least that's how I feel this week.

[jackpine]

It may be a handful of white Russians talking, but the rat race is not worth it. Family, friends, the muse, these are the things that are important. I am sooooo lucky to have all these things tied together in my life.

 

By all means, you need money to live , but its not worth chasing for its' own worth.

 

Ted.... must be the new digs in the country, Eh?

[skipclone 1]

I`ve met quite a few people in various tropical paradises, who serve drinks from a bungalow on the beach, make a living by assorted endeavors of varying degrees of success (and legality). I`ve thought about it but I don`t think I could do it...all my performances would be around a campfire somewhere with an acoustic, swatting mosquitos between verses-for the rest of my life?

No. I hate the concrete jungle as well, but my particular abilities require me to be where things are happening. What I AM sick of is the fact that, while I`ve had some great opportunities, they haven`t really led anywhere. They just sort of keep happening, look great on a resume but I haven`t been able to parlay any of it to a point where I can buy back my time, and that`s really what it`s about-to do what you must until you can buy back the time to do what you want. So in that way yeah, I think of saying screw the whole bunch of crap.

I also think, frankly, that if I was just in the music field as another guitar player I`d be considerably more discouraged. There are too many people around who are too good-though only a few great ones. The main thing that keeps me going is, I have some pretty good songs, I think they could find an audience. And I can sing them. That doesn`t add up to blind optomism, far from it. But it keeps me from strumming to myself in a basement somewhere.

[Greenshoe]

Funny you ask...

 

I am giving up the rat race. Worked on Wall Street, got an MBA, and have been working on the 'business side' of an animation studio for the past 3 years...and realizing a desk job is a desk job, a contract is a contract, and a spreadsheet is a spreadsheet, even if I am surrounded by artists in my workplace. The difference is that they are using their talents to pursue their dreams, and I'm running spreadsheets.

 

I've been seriously considering for a while, and was 80% there, and this week has been the catalyst for reasons I won't post publicly here (no, I didn't get fired).

 

I've decided.

 

I'm moving out of the Bay Area.

 

Seriously.

 

I'm moving back to Vancouver where I'm from. I'm not that young anymore (28), but young enough that I can stay with the folks for a while. I've got enough skills to cobble together some income on the side, some money saved up, and will pursue this thing seriously. I have dual passions - music and acting. I know, I know, focus on one thing, have a fall-back plan, what if it's tough, you will suffer, what if you're not talented enough, aren't you afraid of being poor, blah blah blah.

 

This is not a rational choice - it's about the heart, not the head. I realized the difference between wanting to pursue something and needing to pursue it is that a want is merely a hobby; a need is a passion. I need to do this.

 

I figured that as long as I stay healthy and out of prison, I will live to around 70-80 years old.

That's another 40-50 years full of different experiences - whether they are struggles, setbacks, or triumphs - at work, at play and with family and friends. As long as I'm growing and not stalling. No matter what happens for quitting the rat race now, any failures or setbacks is just one chapter that could lead to many other interesting chapter I do not yet know of in a hopefully long life.

 

Am I scared s**tless? You bet I am.

 

[YourMotherShouldKnow]

Greenshoe, what instrument do you play? If you're an actor are one of them Steve Tyler maniac front men? I'm goin out to Vancouver for a week or two this summer. I hear it's a great town.

 

On topic...you just gotta spend the majority of your time doing something you love. By hook or by crook, you gotta develop a skill, market it, and enjoy a productive lifestyle.

 

I don't make much money (not yet!) with music. But I make enough to get by and I was lucky to find a cool little place to live and do my thing. No rat tace here. Just a lot of hard work doing things I love to do.

 

The other aspect of this is family and friends. I put work ahead of family and friends but there is no necessary contradiction between the two. You really need that love and support to do your best work. I haven't made a happy family yet so for you guys that have that, that's a big deal. There are a lot of people out there with no one or worse: they're with someone they hate.

 

Good work and good people! That's all you can hope for Tedsterino.

[Tedster]

Originally posted by Greenshoe:

This is not a rational choice - it's about the heart, not the head.

Precisely. BTW...28 is young.

 

And, getting back to the original question, it's not just about music. It could just be about freeing up time. Or, other things...limitless in bounds.

[henrysb3]

Yeah, if I won powerball and could control my wife's spending habits.

 

Actually, last month I qualified to retire from TPC, but am not sure I can do it.

[Jeebus]

Originally posted by Greenshoe:

I figured that as long as I stay healthy and out of prison, I will live to around 70-80 years old.

That's another 40-50 years full of different experiences - whether they are struggles, setbacks, or triumphs - at work, at play and with family and friends. As long as I'm growing and not stalling. No matter what happens for quitting the rat race now, any failures or setbacks is just one chapter that could lead to many other interesting chapter I do not yet know of in a hopefully long life.

This is an excellent outlook to have. Be the best person you can be, work hard, and follow your heart. You can do no wrong if you keep those simple things in mind.

[Blue Strat]

I'm 28, going to UNC Charlotte for electrical engineering (bachelor's degree). I have no love life, and haven't really had one. That's something I'd like to devote most of my time to.

 

I'm also considering quiting my crappy part-time job at Lowe's and devoting my spare time (after my school work is done) to building speaker cabinets, fuzz boxes, and making guitar do-dads for folks (at a profit, of course).

[Super 8]

The rat race....the rat race. hmmm.

 

My problem was never getting out of the rat race. My problem was always joining it. Maybe I'm blessed. But I often feel cursed.

 

I have a problem. I fear failure. I fear it so much that it almost literally paralyzes me -I can't move.

 

It came from dealing with disapointments in life -things that don't work out....lots of things. Some people see set-backs as opportunities. I've never been able to do that. This year, I emerged from roughly a 6 year depression. I feel much better now, and I'm starting to get on with life. I haven't been on any medication for months and my psychiatrist said it was time to close my file.

 

When I got laid off from my job a couple of years ago -one month after my son was born- I hit another depressive low. My wife and I decided that I should stay at home with our son -now our son and daughter.

This has been helpful for me to get my head back on straight again, while getting to spend time with some of my favorite people in the world.

 

But I have to confess, it drives me nuts inside that I'm not the one out fulfilling that traditional male role as 'Provider'. Yet the prospect of going back out there to the 'rat race' scares the hell out of me. It scares me, because if for some reason things don't work out, I don't want to get hit with my depression again. It's been quite a while since I last worked a "regular" job, where I was given things to do, and expectations to meet, and had to compliment the boss about his tie, and play the politics of employment. I was always a little rogue to begin with. I'm definitely an "indy" now.

 

I define myself as a musician. But lately it's been more by name than deed. Even music scares me anymore. I decided to break off from the band I've been working with do to some personal differences stemming mostly from the fact that I feel family needs to come BEFORE the band, and the guy in charge doesn't agree.

 

I am so tired of working on things and getting excited and passionate about them, and then having the whole thing collapse. It's like a freakin card house! Nothing seems to be in my control. Even *I* feel out of control of myself.

 

I envy those of you in the "rat race" for one thing....security. I don't feel I have any security in my life, and thus I'm afraid to even move anymore out of fear that I'm gonna fuck something up.

 

Sorry this got long and off-topic. I guess I needed to vent.

[Blue Strat]

program!!

[Blue Strat]

computer

[Blue Strat]

Stupid

[Blue Strat]

damn

[Blue Strat]

Super 8,

 

I think I know exactly how you feel. Sounds like you've got social anxiety. I'm seeing a psych for that now, trying to get my shit together and lead a "normal" life. I'm a fairly quiet person, and I fear rejection and failure, which might lead to public humiliation. 20+ year old habits die hard, and I've still got a long way to go, but I'm determined to get there. There's been a bit of progress, but I wish I could just wake up one day and be who I want to be without any hesitation.

 

The one thing that my psychologist keeps telling me is that even though there are things that I can't control, I can control how I deal with those situations.

 

Hang in there Super...

[halljams]

Don't fuck around Ted.

If you are willing to work hard you can make anything happen. Make yourself happy first.

[ani]

Tedster,

 

You remind me of someone I've known all my life.... You give far too much of yourself to other people around you and place the needs of others before yourself.

 

Sometimes, the more you do, the less it is acknowledged because it becomes an expectancy rather than good will. After awhile, it gets to where there is no appreciation shown and instead there is a demand. You heard Amanda's introduction at guitar class.... some may have thought it was cute; but I have a pet nickname for her and it's DeManda... there's a good reason for that name.

 

Once you hit a certain point, you have to wonder whether anything you ever do will be GOOD ENOUGH to keep some people happy, and the more you do, the less they make you feel appreciated. That comes from family members, co-workers, and peers in the pursuit of dreams.

 

I'm living with an Aquarius and a Gemini, with me being a Scorpio................ I HATE MY LIFE SOMETIMES.... At times I feel that by the time I'm done raising my kids, I'LL BE DEAD!!! My life isn't fun anymore... I'm a provider, a work horse, a taxi, a host, an accommodator, and if I'm not running my butt off, I'm NOT DOING ANYTHING.... I'm just about sick and tired of being a doormat.

 

As much as I love my children and as much as I do for them, I'd just like to escape from the hell of it all at times; I need a serious vacation away from my kids (two weeks of an escape on a Carribean Island or something). Amanda wants me to drive her all over king's country to run with Holly and other things, but then she's goes for the "We never do anything together anymore MOM" manipulation tactic. I've got so much other crap on the table that to do ANYTHING for myself, it means depriving my sleep and going in to work of 3 hours of sleep, and here she is telling me that we never do anything together anymore.

 

Teenagers are more taxing than I ever dreamed possible. The CONSTANT running... band practice, school concerts, teens night out, school events, guitar classes, picking the kids up from Dad's, Parent Teacher conferences, an Exceptionally Gifted Child's extraordinary meetings with school district officials, taking them to friends homes and picking them up......

 

... then they stand up and get in your face when you try to find some time to yourself and tell you that you NEVER DO ANYTHING FOR THEM OR WITH THEM................ Makes you wonder why in the hell you even bother trying.

 

It's like ... sure.... when have I got time for a man in my life???? I've got kids!!!!

 

There is not a man alive that wants to walk in to a ready made family when there are so many other options out there that are easy and at arms reach. By the time I'm done getting my kids raised, I'll be in my grave!!! Say Hoorah to the wonderful life of Happily Ever After......

 

I get my kids back from their Dad's house every time they visit and they are at each other's throat.... and as calm as I try to remain, and as solid and sound as I try to be for them.... sometimes I just want to run away from it all. I know that they need me, but sometimes I think I give way more than I should. I shouldn't have to struggle to find a moment of peace.

 

Maybe if it wasn't for the crappy schedules that the Government makes us work, (we had a conference at the USPS and they are going to start altering schedules in the very near future), we could find more of a normal life with our families. I'm not blaming these animosities on my kids.... I'm trying to do something about my schedule and get the hell away from screwed up work schedules so that I can be here with them more; their acting out is a sign to me that we need to spend more time as a true family and not this "WHEN MY WORK SCHEDULE WILL ALLOW" tid bits. I'm still seriously praying for the job at the Treasury.... I really need a change.

 

Perhaps you should take a look at the Government Service Wide job listings and perhaps find another position that offers more accommodating hours.

 

Peace Ted, I'm feeling you, man.

[Compact Diss]

There is not a man alive that wants to walk in to a ready made family when there are so many other options out there that are easy and at arms reach.

I have to disagree here, many men would jump at the opportunity to have a family and love and be loved. There are no easy "options" out there, it seems everything is a game.

 

To the "kid" who said 28 is not young, I wish I could go back to 28 and I'm only 33...just wait until you hit 33, you will feel really old.

 

I chose an industry as a profession that sucks. I went to college for it, spent 5 years doing it and now I can't find a job. I'm talking about Biotechnology. I am not the only one in MA affected by it either, most of my friends have been laid off and are either pursuing other fields or waiting for the call for an interview.

 

Music is our escape. If it were not for music we would not have this site to turn to. Long live music. It has saved many lives. May it save yours, whether by putting on some headphones and opening a beer and wallowing in your depression and "pour me's" or by getting in front of an audience and making people move. Music keeps us young, it is the only thing that keeps me going everyday. Put some music on and get through whatever is going on in your life, it is the greatest escape.

 

Listening to The Beatles White Album...

[jackpine]

Originally posted by Greenshoe:

I'm not that young anymore (28)

Puh-lease....you are in the prime baby.... do what you want.

[Tedster]

Originally posted by Compact Diss:

To the "kid" who said 28 is not young, I wish I could go back to 28 and I'm only 33...just wait until you hit 33, you will feel really old.

 

I

Got news for ya, Diss...33 is young. One thing I've learned is to never, never, never say you're old...because just give it (what will seem like) a couple of minutes and you'll be five or more years older than you are now, and kicking yourself for wasting time feeling "old" at 28, 33, or even 46. Hell...I'm young...and ya know what? I plan on staying that way until they put me in a nice cozy urn on the mantel. Then I'll be old.

 

Ani, you're right on. A lot of good thoughts here.

[Mark LaCoste]

Are you a Plodder, or a Jumper?

 

During times in my life when my job made me feel bad I would constantly think of career changes or of dropping out. Those thoughts are fewer these days, as I have a pretty darn good jobjob. And we moved to a small town. Now life doesn't seem rat racey. So life is good, but there's still not enough time for music. And what time is left to me is ticking away. I can't even think of "dropping out" because it would be like falling off a ladder after working up to a high rung.

 

See, I'm a good plodder, and jumping scares the hell outa me. Actually just the idea of it, since I've never really done it. I sometimes wish I were braver. But I know some real brave people who envy what I have built - family, stability, home.

[FULLREFUSAL]

Originally posted by Tedster:

HA! No...but it is like this...I make a decent living doing what I do, but it's so restrictive. Sometimes I think I'd just like to give it up, take an old acoustic down to the Keys, get a job scraping the barnacles off boats, and play at night for tips. The Jimmy Buffett lifestyle, I guess. I mean, we only get one chance at life, and to go through it with the "salary" carrot in front of you somehow doesn't seem justified..

 

There was an ad once...two old guys, possibly brothers, looking at an old Army photo of them in Europe during WWII...and one guy says to the other, "You remember when those Swedish nurses wanted us to go with 'em for that weekend? We should have gone". It's like, you get to that phase in life where you realize that, as Eminem once said "This opportunity comes once in a lifetime". And it doesn't necessarily even have to be a great opportunity, just the opportunity to do the things you want. It's all a tradeoff.

Ted, I did give it up..At least the thoughts I had that I ought to be doing something else to make more $$ to have more stuff etc etc, instead of being true to my soul and doing music..Now that that headcase is cured i'm much happier, making money from gigging and recording, producing artists in my studio, traveling, living where I want going where I want, doing what I want without anyone telling me what to do. It's a great life and I HIGHLY recommend it. It does teach you to be creative though and tough situations come up but if you can manage to live below your means and you can manage to make enough $$ from your art, you will be living very true to your sould and I can attest that you will be happier then if you had some great career that took all your time, big house, big car, Big Mortage, etc etc...I could have easily done that but I soul searched and decided to be true to my sould. Plus I am gifted in the musical area and I can't say that about any other area so it really was a no brainer. EVERYONE else told me I was crazy to even attempt to do anything else.. Just took me longer to realize and come to terms with it.

 

Going off to Key West, living on a Boat, doing a little work here and there to make ends meet and playing some music would be awesome, and that live would lead to some great adventure!! If you are soulful and NOT about the material trip, I bet you would be happier..

 

I'm in the process of buying a motorhome so I can go tour, play colleges, do more showcase slot type gigs and get out of the smoky bar scene. That's my next step and I'm excited!! I go where I want, do what I want to do, make great music, do cool studio work and I make it happen! Don't get me wrong, I still have all the nice Gear I need, but that's all I really spend on material wise.. I'm happy. I can do it, So can you.

[Rog]

Originally posted by Super 8:

I envy those of you in the "rat race" for one thing....security. I don't feel I have any security in my life, and thus I'm afraid to even move anymore out of fear that I'm gonna fuck something up.

One person's security is another's straitjacket.

 

I earn enough to live, get to work with audio every day, 9 - 5:30 and yet I'm utterly fed up with something I loved doing when I started in radio, about 4 years ago. I remember the buzz I used to get whenever a celeb would drop in, the excitement of getting bonuses in my pay packet and the thrill of winning awards. That these things don't bother me much anymore isn't a bad thing though.

 

I guess the key for me is change. I can have the security of a paying job along with a fresh challenge if I manage to land one of the jobs I'm going for at the moment. Moving on is a scary prospect but I'd rather be scared than bored

 

As for the depression and anxiety, I know where you're coming from, start a separate thread?