Jump to content


Please note: You can easily log in to MPN using your Facebook account!

Dumbass of the night goes to......


Recommended Posts

...... me.

 

I'm typing this with one hand because I just fried the other with a 450 degree skillet full of Au gratin potatoes. Yup, took it out of the oven, set it on the stove, next to a matching All Clad skillet, and grabbed the wrong one.

 

Hurt like a mo fo.

 

Cold water right away, some burn cream, wrap and a couple of vicodins.

 

We'll see. Am 'spose to do a session tomorrow. Bunch of overdubs with me on keys, guitars, and bass. Looks like I'm gonna have to bring in a keyboard wiz friend of mine to salvage the day.

 

I feel like, well, a dumbass.

Link to comment
Share on other sites



  • Replies 18
  • Created
  • Last Reply

http://www.ancoraimparo.net/license/dumbass.gif

 

Seriously Jack, feel better and use more care in the kitchen man!!! ---Lee

Joe Pine (60's talk show host who sported a wooden leg) to Frank Zappa -- "So, with your long hair, I guess that makes you a woman." Frank Zappa's response -- "So, with your wooden leg, I guess that makes you a table."

 

 

http://www.nowhereradio.com/artists/album.php?aid=2001&alid=-1

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ouch! I know how being stupid is.

I was doing some heavy fabrication years ago, actually rebuilding a Ditch Witch 3500 boom pivot and got distracted. I'd Been using a rosebud tip on an acetylene torch rig to heat some plate material I was forming over the pivot. And when I turned back to the work I just went ahead and grabbed the thing with my bare hand. It had just come off of cherry so it was still pretty damned hot.

 

Good Luck with your session tomorrow. :D

 

Our Joint

 

"When you come slam bang up against trouble, it never looks half as bad if you face up to it." The Duke...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ouch. Once when I was exercising my title of Drunky the Clown (my girlfriend's nickname for me when I'm drunk) I tried to take a pan out of the oven--without an oven mitt. Drunky the Clown has learned (from many instances, not just this one) to not attempt cooking while intoxicated.

"And then you have these thoughts in the back of your mind like 'Why am I doing this? Or is this a figment of my imagination?'"

http://www.veracohr.com

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Originally posted by Veracohr:

Ouch. Once when I was exercising my title of Drunky the Clown (my girlfriend's nickname for me when I'm drunk) I tried to take a pan out of the oven--without an oven mitt. Drunky the Clown has learned (from many instances, not just this one) to not attempt cooking while intoxicated.

That reminds me of a cooking burn I got. One of the worst burns I've ever gotten. My daughter had a couple of toaster pop-ups in the toaster & when the thing popped 'em up, like in the cartoons, I, like the dumb-ass I am, grabbed one. Well, duh, I didn't think about the frosting on the damned thing. Hot sugar just sticks to your skin & keeps burning. No! the cold water & ice couldn't come quick enough.

Bastid golf opponents didn't give me any strokes the next week-end either, just laughed like hell. Played with the right hand all bandaged up & bled through the bandage.

 

Our Joint

 

"When you come slam bang up against trouble, it never looks half as bad if you face up to it." The Duke...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dumbass of the night goes to......
Damn! I thought you were referring to me... Oh, wait. Didn't do anything particularly dumbass tonight, other than responding to the Grammy thread... that is a pretty dumbass thing to do, no? :confused:

 

So this has become the "How I burned myself" thread, eh? Yep... I've got one too.

 

I was changing connectors on a MARS music mixer display, as the mixer in that position had changed and required a switch from ¼" to XLR. The mixer display was poorly lit, and the connectors couldn't be pulled out into the light. Despite my normal overly cautious manner when dealing with electricity or heat, I managed to grab my soldering iron too far up. Not the tip, but the tip holder. That kept me from playing guitar for a good week or two. Dumbass! :cry:

It's easiest to find me on Facebook. Neil Bergman

 

Soundclick

fntstcsnd

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Originally posted by Lee Tyler:

http://www.ancoraimparo.net/license/dumbass.gif

 

Seriously Jack, feel better and use more care in the kitchen man!!! ---Lee

I'll be your friend thru thick and thin, if nine jump on you, I'll make it ten. :D Hope there's no permanent damage. :( Kcbass

 "Let It Be!"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Originally posted by jackpine:

...... me.

 

I'm typing this with one hand because I just fried the other with a 450 degree skillet full of Au gratin potatoes. Yup, took it out of the oven, set it on the stove, next to a matching All Clad skillet, and grabbed the wrong one.

 

Hurt like a mo fo.

 

Cold water right away, some burn cream, wrap and a couple of vicodins.

 

We'll see. Am 'spose to do a session tomorrow. Bunch of overdubs with me on keys, guitars, and bass. Looks like I'm gonna have to bring in a keyboard wiz friend of mine to salvage the day.

 

I feel like, well, a dumbass.

I hope there's no next time, but if that happens again, you need to use clorox and then deep you hand in cold milk for a while....I hope there's no permanent damged, take care.

 

Jesus Is Coming, Make Music, Get Ready!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Farm accident. Welding on a 55 gallon drum. Failed to take the bung out. Exploded like a bomb and damn near killed me. Lucky to be alive. Blew me like 50 feet through the air like in the movies. Even worse, it was cotton insectide in that drum so I got that crap all in my system through all the open cuts. Blew off two fingernails and ripped my blue jean seams like a seamstress. What a dumbass.

> > > [ Live! ] < < <

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Originally posted by Veracohr:

Drunky the Clown has learned (from many instances, not just this one) to not attempt cooking while intoxicated.

Amen to that. There has to be some study that has discovered why drunk people need to eat elaborate meals. My wife has barred me from using anything but the microwave ( under supervision ) when I am stewed.

 

Doc

During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act. -George Orwell
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Originally posted by LiveMusic:

Farm accident. Welding on a 55 gallon drum. Failed to take the bung out. Exploded like a bomb and damn near killed me. Lucky to be alive. Blew me like 50 feet through the air like in the movies. Even worse, it was cotton insectide in that drum so I got that crap all in my system through all the open cuts. Blew off two fingernails and ripped my blue jean seams like a seamstress. What a dumbass.

Now I understand why you ask so many questions here, Duke!! I'd be ancy to operate anything with moving parts or electronics after an experience like that! :freak:;)

It's easiest to find me on Facebook. Neil Bergman

 

Soundclick

fntstcsnd

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Not meaning any disrespect to my daughter, Lindsay, but, I think she'd give herself the "Dumbass of the Day" award...and fits of laughter to both her mom and I...

 

Deb gave the kids little Valentine's Day bags of goodies, including some candy and Avon stuff like hand cream (a vital substance for guitarists this time of year, BTW). Well, one of the Avon goodies was a little bar of soap, which in every respect looked like a chocolate heart.

 

Lindsay took a bite out of it. HAHAHAHAHA!!! HOO HOO HOO HAHAHAHA!!! (Doubles over in fits, pounding the desk, turning blue).

"Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine"
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Originally posted by jackpine:

>>>I'm typing this with one hand because I just fried the other with a 450 degree skillet full of Au gratin potatoes. Yup, took it out of the oven, set it on the stove, next to a matching All Clad skillet, and grabbed the wrong one.<<<

Damn, sorry to hear that JP! Hope you'll feel better soon. FWIW, I did the exact same thing a coupla years ago...except I didn't have the handy excuse of a second skillet nearby. I simply forgot that my skillet was hot. Amazingly, my senses are so dull that I managed to pick up my 400 degree pan and carry it a few feet before the pain reached the receptors in my brain. You'd think that my skin sizzling would've been a dead giveaway but... :rolleyes: Anyway, I not only burned the living shit out of my palm and fingers but, of course, dumped the whole pan full of steaming yummy-ness (whatever it was) onto the floor in the process. Wonderful fun cleaning up that mess while in extreme pain. I tried several remedies but I ended up having to sleep that entire night holding a bag of ice in my hand; nothing else would relieve the pain for more than a few minutes. The "8-hour ice-bath" did the trick, though: the pain was practically gone by morning and the blistering was surprisingly minimal. Phew!
None more black.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

My grandfather worked at the railroad. Used to work with a welding torch, with the hoses tied off to his belt so they wouldn't fall off the scaffolding.

 

He dropped the torch one day and it swung across his leg and set his pants on fire. Of course, he would never go to a doctor.....first time he ever saw one was the day he died. He just covered the wound with Vaseline every day until it healed....never even had a scar!

Anyone who says that "Crime doesn't pay", obviously isn't doing it right.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Feb. '96. Several days of below-zero weather had left my '82 Volvo lifeless. Got it towed back to my garage (still damn cold despite being underneath the house and next to the furnace), started popping things off the engine; suspecting shrunken seals, I pulled the valve cover to see what I could see. Also pulled a couple of the sparkplugs. Pulled a teaspoon out, scooped some stuff from the top of the head...sure enough, gas in the oil. Light was kinda dim, and so was I as I mindlessly grabbed one of those butane-powered igniter sticks to get a better look at the valves.

Got a good look at fuel vapors as they shot out of the #2 cylinder like a fuckin' flamethrower. Had just enough time to see it coming and close my eyes.

When the blast was finished, I staggered over to a mirror, and busted out laughing, because I looked exactly like a cartoon or comedy movie character who'd just been blown up. Looked for a camera to take a pic, then thought that getting in the shower would be a better idea, because the burns were going to hurt like hell in short order. Lots of hair came off in the shower.

I could find no one to take me to the hospital for a few hours, during which time I kept my right hand and face mostly submerged in icewater. At the hospital, they gave me some GREAT drugs, and the name of a plastic surgeon.

I spent a week in bed, with a brand-new outlook on life. Ate pancakes for every meal...that's all I was craving, pancakes. Must've been a carbo loss or something. Never needed the surgeon.

Did get the car running, though, a few days later.

 

I pray that that was my height of stupidity. :o

I've upped my standards; now, up yours.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I can't top that one, not at all.

 

At sixteen, I drank enough that I got up after playing piano (very badly), fell backwards, and the back of my skull lost an argument with the pointy corner of a mahogany coffee table... at the house of my guitar player who's parents were away for the weekend. His granddad was a prominent GOP legislator in Vermont and personal friends with Richard Nixon, so it could've been a big scandal. Especially given that I bled like a stuck pig and wound up in the hospital getting stitches, with no memory of the trip there.

 

More recently, I'm known for enjoying the occasional cigar, especially when I have a writing deadline and need to think. (I don't and never have smoked cigarettes, in case anyone's curious.) During one particularly difficult project, I absent-mindedly picked up my half-smoked Davidoff Churchill... and put the lit end in my mouth.

 

Burned the crap out of my tongue, and in Sylvester-like fashion, I spent the next couple of minutes spitting hot ash all over the computer keyboard. I talked funnier than I usually do for a week or so after that.

Stephen Fortner

Principal, Fortner Media

Former Editor in Chief, Keyboard Magazine

Digital Piano Consultant, Piano Buyer Magazine

 

Industry affiliations: Antares, Arturia, Giles Communications, MS Media, Polyverse

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...