Nashy Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XRuuJzjwcHM Lyrics displayed on video. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skipclone 1 Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 Hi Nashy Well just my take-the words fit well within the song. There are a few rushed parts to fit the rhythm but mostly it sounds well phrased. On the other hand it sounds kind of chatty and cliched-many many writers start out this way. Keep writing and you will find YOUR voice, not phrases from somewhere else. Of course using set phrases is perfectly okay as a kind of diving board. But you are the pool, the listener wants to hear something new. Anyway good luck. Same old surprises, brand new cliches- Skipsounds on Soundclick: www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandid=602491 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Music Fusion Posted September 27, 2017 Share Posted September 27, 2017 Hi...I like the song. The only suggestion I might have is to dumb down certain words. For example, you used the word "seldom" which sounds intelligent but not as musical. Maybe replace with, I'm never at a loss for words. There are a few more words that sound a little too intelligent in the song. If you need assistance with this, just let me know. I wriote songs professionally and cane help. Charles Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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