whitefang Posted November 21, 2013 Share Posted November 21, 2013 Every year, I try to remember to post this. Last year I forgot. I apologize to Gilbert Shelton. A man and his wife were discussing a Thanksgiving dinner they had just had, when the man said, "These dinners are good, but one year I'd like to try having a FRESH turkey, not the ones that were frozen solid for God knows how long." His wife agreed, and so early the next year, he built a pen in his backyard, went to a turkey farm and bought a live turkey. After getting instructions on what to feed it to fatten it up, he set about the task of getting it ready for the next Thanksgiving, just 10 months away. After all that time of fattening the turkey up, the day came when he would take it behing the garage, chop off it's head and pluck off all the feathers. After having done so, his wife had him hand it over to her, claiming, "I'll take care of the rest." After the Thanksgiving feast, while leaning back in his chair with trousers undone, and looking over the well cleaned carcass of the bird, the man said, "Wow! THAT was the best tasting turkey I ever had. You did a great job, honey." His wife thanked him, but said the fresh bird may have had something to do with the flavor. "Maybe it did," claimed the man, "but it was great no matter. And that stuffing! Never had any like that before. What did you stuff the turkey with?" His wife asked him what he was talking about. "The STUFFING!" he exclaimed. "What was that unusual STUFFING you used in the turkey?" "I didn't HAVE to stuff it", she said. "It WASN'T EMPTY!" Whitefang I started out with NOTHING...and I still have most of it left! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A String Posted November 21, 2013 Share Posted November 21, 2013 Craig Stringnetwork on Facebook String Network Forum My Music Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larryz Posted November 21, 2013 Share Posted November 21, 2013 Some jokes leave a fowl taste in your mouth [pun intended]... Take care, Larryz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dannyalcatraz Posted November 21, 2013 Share Posted November 21, 2013 Posting that took guts... Sturgeon's 2nd Law, a.k.a. Sturgeon's Revelation: âNinety percent of everything is crapâ My FLMS- Murphy's Music in Irving, Tx http://murphysmusictx.com/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winston Psmith Posted November 21, 2013 Share Posted November 21, 2013 Fat Freddy would approve . . . http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:FreakBrothers.jpg "Monsters are real, and Ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win." Stephen King http://www.novparolo.com https://thewinstonpsmithproject.bandcamp.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skipclone 1 Posted November 21, 2013 Share Posted November 21, 2013 An what`s wrong wi` a wee bit a` turkey haggis, eh laddie? Actually my annual Thanksgiving joke-which I never forget-is that I get the date wrong. I think it`s the third thursday of the month-yesterday-until I see something that says otherwise. Fortunately I didn`t take anything out of the freezer a week early. Same old surprises, brand new cliches- Skipsounds on Soundclick: www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandid=602491 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dannyalcatraz Posted November 21, 2013 Share Posted November 21, 2013 Just remembers hat in 7 days, the bird is the word... Sturgeon's 2nd Law, a.k.a. Sturgeon's Revelation: âNinety percent of everything is crapâ My FLMS- Murphy's Music in Irving, Tx http://murphysmusictx.com/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitefang Posted November 22, 2013 Author Share Posted November 22, 2013 Fat Freddy would approve . . . http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:FreakBrothers.jpg Whitefang I started out with NOTHING...and I still have most of it left! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winston Psmith Posted November 22, 2013 Share Posted November 22, 2013 Don't know why the image of the Freak Bros. didn't come through? Old Gilbert Shelton fan, myself, hell, I even remember Wonder Warthog! http://www.nmia.com/~vrbass/wart-hog/Bacchanal_Mar62.jpg "Monsters are real, and Ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win." Stephen King http://www.novparolo.com https://thewinstonpsmithproject.bandcamp.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitefang Posted November 23, 2013 Author Share Posted November 23, 2013 I remember first seeing WONDER WARTHOG in DRAG CARTOONS. It was about CARS, not cross-dressers, kiddies. The big joke with Warthog in THAT comic was driving around a tricked out Toronado in reverse all the time( The Oldsmobile Toronado was one of the first, if not THE first production front end wheel drive cars on the market back in the mid '60's.). Brightened my day when I came across WW in "underground" comix! Whitefang I started out with NOTHING...and I still have most of it left! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winston Psmith Posted November 23, 2013 Share Posted November 23, 2013 Oh man, I remember the Toronado! It was shaped like a muscle car, but it was huge, like a family sedan! Not the most popular model, IIRC. "Monsters are real, and Ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win." Stephen King http://www.novparolo.com https://thewinstonpsmithproject.bandcamp.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larryz Posted November 23, 2013 Share Posted November 23, 2013 I dreamed of chopping a Tornado front clip of the engine, frame, trans, AC, radiator, etc., and mounting a Volkswagon front end and body to it. Kind of a Rat Rod... Take care, Larryz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitefang Posted November 24, 2013 Author Share Posted November 24, 2013 The Cadillac Eldorado followed Toronado's lead and was the top-of-the-line luxury car in the line-up for years. I started working at GM at the Cadillac main plant in Detroit in '71, and the E-car line was much sought after for transfers. It was believed by workers and consumers alike that front wheel drive was a novelty that would never catch on beyond the few luxury models that featured it. While the regular assembly line at Cadillac ran at 54 an hour, Eldorado built only 12 an hour. Whitefang I started out with NOTHING...and I still have most of it left! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larryz Posted November 24, 2013 Share Posted November 24, 2013 I had a Cadillac El Dorado (I forget the year, but I think it was a 72) and it was a great car. Had a solid sunroof top, black and fast too! Sold it to a buddy as it was too nice to be the chop shop special of my dreams, so I just kept on dreaming...I liked the song by the Stray Cats "I gotta get a Cadillac, look at that Cadillac, look at that, rolling down the avenue"...I live up in the woods where the roads are just too ruff and narrow to be driving a caddy, or I would still own it! Take care, Larryz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scott Fraser Posted November 24, 2013 Share Posted November 24, 2013 It was believed by workers and consumers alike that front wheel drive was a novelty that would never catch on beyond the few luxury models that featured it. Whitefang From 1984 until this summer I've had several Dodge Caravans. Front wheel drive & really good cargo hauling vehicles. Scott Fraser Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitefang Posted November 24, 2013 Author Share Posted November 24, 2013 For me, living here in Michigan, I find front wheel drive to be better in the snow. Whitefang I started out with NOTHING...and I still have most of it left! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larryz Posted November 25, 2013 Share Posted November 25, 2013 +1 Front wheel drives work better in the snow than rear wheel drives...4 wheel drives work even better! Take care, Larryz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitefang Posted November 25, 2013 Author Share Posted November 25, 2013 Maybe one of you "gearheads" can explain "All Wheel Drive" to me. The difference between IT and "4 Wheel Drive". My car is AWD, but it came that way. I didn't buy it because of it. Whitefang I started out with NOTHING...and I still have most of it left! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimberWolf Posted November 25, 2013 Share Posted November 25, 2013 In most cases, FWD vehicles have one axle under power all the time - with the option to engage the second axle at the driver's discretion or as conditions require. AWD vehicles have both axles powered all the time. TimberWolf Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larryz Posted November 25, 2013 Share Posted November 25, 2013 All Wheel Drive is pretty much the same as 4 Wheel Drive. You have power to both the front and rear wheels with differentials. All Wheel drive is always engaged in passenger vehicles as there is no need for a low range drop down gear ratio transfer case (like those with 4wheel drive) as you are not going to be mountain climbing, off-roading, etc. This is the simple explanation. Not going into lockers front and rear, posi-traction, limited slip differentials, shocks, suspension, lift kits, tire sizes, skid plates, etc., and other options found on 4wheel drives... Take care, Larryz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitefang Posted November 26, 2013 Author Share Posted November 26, 2013 Thanks you two. That helps. Whitefang I started out with NOTHING...and I still have most of it left! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5 string Mike Posted November 26, 2013 Share Posted November 26, 2013 Whitefang- I'm in my '30s, but there is one thing that stands out to me from the Toronado/Eldorado line that gave me nightmares- 5.7 Diesel Those late '70s and early '80s models with that engine actually kept me real busy in my early teen years. Between bad fuel pumps and glow plugs, bearing and wrist pin issues, (not to mention it wouldn't start below 40 degrees even if plugged in) it was actually easier and cheaper to rip the diesel hardware off the engine and convert it to gas- a nice poor man's 350 Olds stroker motor... Now back on topic for a Thanksgiving joke As a bona fide Detroit Lions fan and they usually play on Thanksgiving, here's my joke (especially after last week's loss) Q: What is the difference between the Detroit Lions and a dollar bill? A: You can still get 4 good quarters out of a dollar bill "Political language... is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind"- George Orwell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dannyalcatraz Posted November 26, 2013 Share Posted November 26, 2013 You just made Megatron cry. Sturgeon's 2nd Law, a.k.a. Sturgeon's Revelation: âNinety percent of everything is crapâ My FLMS- Murphy's Music in Irving, Tx http://murphysmusictx.com/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5 string Mike Posted November 26, 2013 Share Posted November 26, 2013 lol I am watching Airwolf reruns with my kids This episode talked about being shot down behind enemy lines in East Germany- I had to explain to my 15 year old that when I was 8, there actually was an East and West Germany... Was watching the original A-team reruns too. "Political language... is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind"- George Orwell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitefang Posted November 27, 2013 Author Share Posted November 27, 2013 I like the strange looks from teens when you try to explain stuff like that to them. Like going to parties where nobody got high or drunk, and STILL having a blast. Or girls who DIDN'T put out. Or not having a party on every one of your birthdays, or for simply graduating high school. Or even the word "party" NOT being a verb. But as far as the last one goes, it's getting tiring of then having to explain what a VERB is! Whitefang I started out with NOTHING...and I still have most of it left! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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