J. Dan Posted March 12, 2012 Share Posted March 12, 2012 I posted this over on the keyboard corner a week ago, but I've had enough band business discussions over here that I felt it warranted a double post. It pretty much just got to be too much. For 7 years I've barely had a weekend night off, in addition to my full time day job, two young kids (3 and 6), all complicated by my divorce. Trying to pursue a new relationship at my age is impossible when you ave no weekends available. My weekend time with my kids suffered because I was so tired from the gigs. My job has suffered because I never get a break. I've stuck it out mostly because I need the money, but something had to give, so I'm going to have to figure out how to live on $40k a year less. Dan Acoustic/Electric stringed instruments ranging from 4 to 230 strings, hammered, picked, fingered, slapped, and plucked. Analog and Digital Electronic instruments, reeds, and throat/mouth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cthulhu Fhtagn Posted March 12, 2012 Share Posted March 12, 2012 As long as you stick around. Seems you have a wealth of experience to draw upon. As for the decision - you got to do what's right for you. The kids got to factor in high; ustody buffoonery notwithstanding. Guess you felt that your peace of mind was worth $40K. You should be able to find something a little more low key - less weekends, local gigs, something that can still let you gig a little, put a little money away and still have a life. We hope you decide well. Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plangentmusic Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 If you were making 40 K playing, you doing a lot better than most guys. But ya gotta do what ya gotta do. Kids come first. Me? I'd probably quit the day job and try to get by on the measly 40K and supplement it with this and that. But that's me. JAZZ UN-STANDARDS http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vE4FoJ4Cr4&feature=related DON'T FEAR...THE REVERB! 60's Instrumentals with MORE BASS! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cthulhu Fhtagn Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 Your kids would thank you. Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J. Dan Posted March 13, 2012 Author Share Posted March 13, 2012 Yeah, but th day job is stable, more than double the pay, benefits for me and the kids...the band could tank any time and it's not like I could just jump into another $40k a year gig. I have a lot on my plate right now. I'm going to take a break fr a while....get my sales back up in my day job, enjoy the summer with my kids, maybe land a girlfriend. I'll get back out there, but never again as much as I did. I'm turning 41 in a couple weeks and just can't keep up anymore. A couple weekends a month would be plenty. Actually, I miss playing bass and might go back to that - bringing out a bass and a SansAmp and not having to program a bunch of sounds and sequences, and drag out 2 keyboards, a rack, a guitar, a sax, and 2 stands sounds appealing about now. Dan Acoustic/Electric stringed instruments ranging from 4 to 230 strings, hammered, picked, fingered, slapped, and plucked. Analog and Digital Electronic instruments, reeds, and throat/mouth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J. Dan Posted March 13, 2012 Author Share Posted March 13, 2012 My daughter (who's supposed to be in bed) just came down to talk. Most of it was about the divorce, and I tried to explain in terms an almost 7yr old can understand. But I also told her I was quitting th band. Now, she knows every ong we play and talks about the band all the time - she's our biggest fan. But she said she hopes they find a replacement fast. That says it all, and tells me I'm making the right decision. I plan on moving into a much smaller house and cutting sow other costs, and told my ex we'll have to make some adjustments - she's actually ok with that in principal...we'll see how it works out in practice. Dan Acoustic/Electric stringed instruments ranging from 4 to 230 strings, hammered, picked, fingered, slapped, and plucked. Analog and Digital Electronic instruments, reeds, and throat/mouth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Groove Mama Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 Good for you, LZ. Sounds like a smart move, all the way around. Queen of the Quarter Note "Think like a drummer, not like a singer, and play much less." -- Michele C. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richard W Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 Sounds like you are taking a much needed break, for the good of your family. Good for you. After you relax a while, wondering if you could put together your own band that would better meet your needs in terms of fitting in with your other responsibilities. "Everyone wants to change the world, but no one thinks of changing themselves." Leo Tolstoy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
b5pilot Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 A tough decision and a pretty big hit to the income, but you have to do what you have to do. Your kids will benefit greatly by having you around more. Besides you can always get into another band later when the kids have grown and your life stablizes. Good luck and stick around if you can. Lydian mode? The only mode I know has the words "pie ala" in front of it. http://www.myspace.com/theeldoradosband Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
picker Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 Kids first. Job second. Love life third. Music if you have anything left. Sounds like your priorities are lined up right. Always remember that you are unique. Just like everyone else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J. Dan Posted March 13, 2012 Author Share Posted March 13, 2012 Sounds like you are taking a much needed break, for the good of your family. Good for you. After you relax a while, wondering if you could put together your own band that would better meet your needs in terms of fitting in with your other responsibilities. That's the plan. Of course, I'll never be able to bring in the same amount of cash without that level of commitment, so either way, a lifestyle adjustment is in order. Dan Acoustic/Electric stringed instruments ranging from 4 to 230 strings, hammered, picked, fingered, slapped, and plucked. Analog and Digital Electronic instruments, reeds, and throat/mouth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul K Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 Hope you find your peace of mind and place of balance. Just thinking outside the box. With the kids involved, and the needed coin when you have kids, and your interest in music; how about just booking 4 gigs a month? Supply and demand: decrease the supply and you may be able to charge more for the other gigs. Everybody wins. Things are just the way they are, and they're only going to get worse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross Brown Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 Good luck. You are on the right track. I like Paul's thoughts too.... "When I take a stroll down Jackass Lane it is usually to see someone that is already there" Mrs. Brown Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
butcherNburn Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 Don't feel guilty about doing what you need to do. If you think my playing is bad, you should hear me sing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J. Dan Posted March 13, 2012 Author Share Posted March 13, 2012 Just thinking outside the box. With the kids involved, and the needed coin when you have kids, and your interest in music; how about just booking 4 gigs a month? Supply and demand: decrease the supply and you may be able to charge more for the other gigs. This band is already charging pretty much the limit of what the market will bear locally and is starting to travel for additional casino, corporate, and private gigs, since that's the only option to grow beyond the local market. Locally, they get min $2500 a night with house sound and lights provided. Most bands are more like $800-$1500 at the good clubs. They want to play as much as possible, period, and maximize income along the way. In fact, now that I'm leaving and my job won't interfere, they're talking about adding weeknights. Dan Acoustic/Electric stringed instruments ranging from 4 to 230 strings, hammered, picked, fingered, slapped, and plucked. Analog and Digital Electronic instruments, reeds, and throat/mouth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EddiePlaysBass Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 I have to say this does not come as a surprise, given the tone of recent posts. You know you made the right decision, and it will enable you to pursue other interests; set up a band of your own or join a different (type of) band as a keyboard player or bass player. Whatever happens, make sure you enjoy it! "I'm a work in progress." Micky Barnes The Ross Brown Shirt World Tour Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danzilla Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 I'm sure it's bittersweet, even if you're leaving on good terms with the rest of the band. Tough decision, but an important one and I think you've done right for now. Next time you hear Duran Duran you will probably throw up, though. Withdrawal and all that. "Am I enough of a freak to be worth paying to see?"- Separated Out (Marillion) NEW band Old band Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcadmus Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 At least you're leaving on good terms -- always nice to leave the door open. Who knows, maybe they'll need someone to sub occasionally, and you can keep a hand in that way. "Tours widely in the southwestern tip of Kentucky" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeremy c Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 Best wishes to you. You're the only person I know making a living in a cover band. I don't know how you worked that many gigs while having a full-time job and a family....that just doesn't seem possible without at least one of the three things suffering. Many years ago, I switched from a 6 night a week band to working freelance and I've never looked back. You'll do fine, you're a very talented individual. Free download of my cd!. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Russkull Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 I'll chime in with the rest of the group and say you made the right choice. When you're 71 you won't have to look back and say "Dang, I wish I had spent more time with my kids." Best to you. "Of all the world's bassists, I'm one of them!" - Lug Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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