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I think I need help


keyClicker

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Just a quick +1 on Bobby's recommendation for physical exercise. My doc also recommended this as helpful, I took up swimming and it really lifted my mood.

Studio: Yamaha P515 | Yamaha Tyros 5 | Yamaha HX1 | Moog Sub 37

Road: Yamaha YC88 | Nord Electro 5D

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First off, get to a doctor and get some proper medication to help bring you back to an equilibrium. Do NOT feel bad that you have to take some medication. It will not make you into a grinning idiot, it will just make you feel "normal" again.

Again, I have to add a note of caution, especially with saying that taking medication will make the OP feel "normal." Of course the right medication can help, but beating depression is not as easy as popping pills. As I said earlier in this thread:

 

Medication is an option, not the only option, and certainly not a fix-all. I think we all agree that seeking professional help is the right course of action for the OP. It's then up to him and the professional to decide whether or not medication is appropriate.
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You can add me to the depression/anxiety musician list keyclicker. It's important to realise your not alone. I have known people I thought were on top form only to discover they suffer badly from low self esteem, anxiety. Damn brain isn't perfect is it! It may not be something in particular that's triggered, maybe just a build up of things going wrong. I had it from 16, due to bullying at school, my diabetes, and seeing my parents destroy their marriage at home at the same time. It triggered anxiety attacks and low moods that I am still not fully free from, but they no longer impede my life.

 

My doctor recommended some self help therapy which I feel is good for me. I was advised to buy a book called Manage Your Mind (Hope & Butler) I also do excercise and like Aidan and others have said, it's a great mood lifter (especially when there's some nice ladies in the gym too!)

 

Just don't feel alone with it, keep strong.

 

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First off, get to a doctor and get some proper medication to help bring you back to an equilibrium. Do NOT feel bad that you have to take some medication. It will not make you into a grinning idiot, it will just make you feel "normal" again.

Again, I have to add a note of caution, especially with saying that taking medication will make the OP feel "normal." Of course the right medication can help, but beating depression is not as easy as popping pills.

 

It wasn't my intention to suggest that it was. To add context, there used to be - and still is - a great deal of prejudice about mental health medication in the UK. There is still a perception that to accept such treatment is somehow a sign of moral weakness. The perception is certainly less widespread now, thankfully but it has resulted in a lot of people refusing such help when they could really benefit from it.

 

I know that when my own doctor suggested Prozac, I was initially very against the idea. "I don't want to be put on the happy pills," was my cri de cour and it was only after they started working that I realised they had simply brought back some semblance of normality rather than turn me into some kind of blissed-out fool.

 

Dana, you're right - it wasn't Prozac that sorted my depression. But what it did do was to produce a breathing space where I could more rationally focus on my emotional issues and address them.

Studio: Yamaha P515 | Yamaha Tyros 5 | Yamaha HX1 | Moog Sub 37

Road: Yamaha YC88 | Nord Electro 5D

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I concur with what Aidan has just said.

 

Prozac was the first medication that was given to me, but it didn't help at all.

 

I was then given several different anti-depressants over the following year-or-so,

 

and although they didn't have the bad side-effects of Prozac,

 

at least it reassured me that I was 'being kept an eye on' by my doctor.

 

Similarly to Aidan, by that time I was getting to grips with the problem

 

& subsequently stopped taking medication altogether.

 

It can act as a 'crutch' for a while, but I wouldn't like to think that you'd have to rely on it forever.

John.

 

some stuff on myspace

 

Nord: StageEX-88, Electro2-73, Hammond: XK-1, Yamaha: XS7

Korg: M3-73 EXpanded, M50-88, X50, Roland: Juno D, Kurzweil: K2000vp.

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It wasn't my intention to suggest that it was.

No worries, I know it wasn't. And please don't think that I was chastising you with my comments.

 

But what it did do was to produce a breathing space where I could more rationally focus on my emotional issues and address them.

Yeah, the right medication can be very beneficial in this regard.

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I hid my depression-related issues for years, because I didn't want to admit to society that I had a problem. What did I do to combat it? Drank. self-medicated.

 

In retrospect that is probably one of the worst ways to address depression. Once I got my head out of my ass, admitted to myself that I had a problem and sought professional help, quit self-medicating and addressed the issues head-on it is remarkable how one can address depression in a very positive, life-enhancing way.

Steve Force,

Durham, North Carolina

--------

My Professional Websites

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.....there used to be - and still is - a great deal of prejudice about mental health medication in the UK. There is still a perception that to accept such treatment is somehow a sign of moral weakness.

One of the things I've found that often helps people with this is to remind that not unlike the liver, heart, kidneys, pancreas, spleen, etc., the brain is an ORGAN....and just like other organs, needs certain metabolic enzymes, proteins, biochemicals, etc., to optimally function.

 

Dana, you're right - it wasn't Prozac that sorted my depression. But what it did do was to produce a breathing space where I could more rationally focus on my emotional issues and address them.

Exactly. Medication often makes folks available for other interventions (e.g., therapy).

 

"We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing."

- George Bernard Shaw

 

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Yup... another recovered sufferer of depression/anxiety here. "Recovered" being a thing like an alcoholic feels about his ailment: while it's been well over a decade since the worst of it for me, I'm always aware that it could come back, and I need to actively fight against it all the time.

 

But it's a worthwhile battle. I didn't turn to meds, except for a brief period at the beginning to try and shake the blues. What helped me the most were some major life changes -- a career change and ending a bad marriage. But longer term, having things that really made me see the value in my life have been the biggest areas of help: being active in raising my son, and being very active as a songwriter and performer of music, and being in a good and healthy relationship. Simple things, but they matter a lot and are really good for me as a person.

 

I can honestly say that while life is always a struggle, I have spent the last 10 years or so being about as happy as I could expect. I certainly appreciate it, which is the silver lining behind the dark cloud of depression... you can be overjoyed just feeling "normal", whatever that means. :)

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I hid my depression-related issues for years, because I didn't want to admit to society that I had a problem. What did I do to combat it? Drank. self-medicated.

 

In retrospect that is probably one of the worst ways to address depression.

 

Yup. Especially as alcohol is a depressant.

Studio: Yamaha P515 | Yamaha Tyros 5 | Yamaha HX1 | Moog Sub 37

Road: Yamaha YC88 | Nord Electro 5D

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My own personal issues with depression have peaked a couple of times, once when my first marriage ended, and again about 8 years ago when I (along with many others) was laid off from a high paying (but also high-stress) job - and the fallout included having to move the family from the city we were in to a small town (sell a home with a mortgage, and buy a home that could be paid for).

 

In my case, it kinda snuck up on me. I really think that most people get these times when it seems like nothing that is done clears up the problems (although looking back at it 8 years later I see that the things I was doing really did affect the problem - there just was a time delay before results were seen.)

 

I threw away a lot of things for the move on the grounds that I didn't have room to move them (which was not really true, we filled up one POD with stuff and a good-sized UHaul truck, but there was a larger UHaul truck available). I also went from a very technical computer job to work during the time in commissioned sales - thinking back, commissioned sales tends to tear one down because the percentage of success vs. number of potential customers is always small.

 

It was real easy to feel sorry for myself and just not make the effort - Except - I knew that my family was also dependent on my choices, so that was enough motivation to keep me plugging away, even though results were slow coming.

 

In my case, I was helped greatly through the period by loving and caring people - not only my own family, but many of the people in the church in the new community. Even though I didn't share a lot of the times I felt down - several people would seek me out, always have a kind word, sometimes something unexpected (like a free ride and tickets to a music concert). My wife was and is a great deal of help - althoug sometimes that help comes from telling me rather forcefully that I'm moving in the wrong direction.

 

Some issues in life are physical, some are mental, some are spiritual - and many are a mixture of the above. I know that depression lurks about - wanting to bring me down. I also know that I'm blessed to have people who really care (such people can be family, friends, co-workers, medical professionals, pastors, even on-line friends and people whom I respect).

 

Keyclicker - I encourage you. Keep your physical condition the best you can in this time. Getting help is a good thing - I'm not a medical professional, so I don't know exactly what help is needed. Sometimes the best help comes from someone trusted well enough to just open up to - the experience of opening up the matter and discussing it can be a curing thing. Might be sharing with a psycharist, or a counselor, or a spiritual leader, or a mixture.

 

Aidan - I have valued your input in many things, and encourage.

Bobby - I remember well your fighting against depression after the theft of your gear.

Tom - I'm not so far away that I can't run up to Raleigh sometime if you need a friend when going through a bad time.

 

Any of us are sometimes "up" and sometimes "down." Fortunately, we are not all down at the same time.

 

Howard Grand|Hamm SK1-73|Kurz PC2|PC2X|PC3|PC3X|PC361; QSC K10's

HP DAW|Epi Les Paul & LP 5-str bass|iPad mini2

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."

Jim

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Bobby - I remember well your fighting against depression after the theft of your gear.

 

I'd hate to have false notions out there. Although I have been depressed at times in my life, after my gear was stolen really wasn't one of them. It sucked, it wasn't fun. But I wasn't depressed. Of course everyone here was super supportive and actually helped me out with some spare gear which was amazing. My depression was more of a college/post college thing. I still get the blues from time to time, but who doesn't. But that's a far cry from serious full on depression. My heart goes out to all who are dealing with that monkey.

Kawai C-60 Grand Piano : Hammond A-100 : Hammond SK2 : Yamaha CP4 : Yamaha Montage 7 : Moog Sub 37

 

My latest album: Funky organ, huge horn section

https://bobbycressey.bandcamp.com/album/cali-native

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Thanks again guys for your comments.

I was going to mention that, during the time I went to therapy the main focus was to find out if there was something hidden in my feelings.

Maybe something happened and I could not see that it was the trigger to way I was feeling.

The worse part was this... I could not figure out any bad event or a set of events that could have triggered this. I worked together with a professional and even though I was really sincere there was nothing there to be fixed. Well, of course I had love deceptions, professional deceptions, family issues and all... but nothing that I really did not overcome quickly.

So, like I mentioned before, this was the main reason I felt so lost...

Its really bad when you don't have something you can fight against... if you know what I mean.

 

That's what made me think it should be the lack or the excess of some neurotransmissor or some bio/chemistry thing in my brain/nervous system.

 

Thank you all!

 

I'll guess everything will work out.

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Keep at it, keep your hopes up as you can, and keep us posted. Best of luck.

"I'm so crazy, I don't know this is impossible! Hoo hoo!" - Daffy Duck

 

"The good news is that once you start piano you never have to worry about getting laid again. More time to practice!" - MOI

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