That one last gig

[EddiePlaysBass]

Just got a call from the singer of my now ex-band, asking if I was still interested in doing a (wedding) gig we promised a friend of his we'd do in April. I said fine, as long as he can convince the guitar player to do the gig. I have done more than my fair share of leg work in the past with minimal input from any of the others, so now that it is over I refuse to be pushed back in that role.

 

I wonder how it will go, though. I do not plan on suggesting a set list, nor do I plan on suggesting anything else. I plan on showing up to the one rehearsal he (singer) wants to do, and play that one last gig, and then that chapter is closed in my book.

 

Anyone have any stories to share about that one last gig?

[Tenstrum]

My advice would be to try to have fun. Ignore whatever animosity presents itself. Play well, have fun, shake hands, then pack your bags and go home.

[Bob Gollihur]

It's uncomfortable. I've only had two such occasions where a group dissolved at that last gig, and I was quitting. One was precipitated by the lead individual had quit, and I couldn't see a future with the remaining lineup, the other when family responsibilities (we all know that situation) required my departure. Neither resulted in anything dramatic, though there were hard feelings in the first incident that resulted in the 'cold shoulder'.

 

+2 for Tenstrum's comments. Low key, smile, enjoy (or at least don't exhibit any signs of pain), and quietly move on.

 

It isn't like you might not play with any of the individuals involved in the future. Life is funny that way.

[Danzilla]

I thought bands had to wait a minimum of 3 years before doing the reunion tour thing.

 

Do it. Go have fun, play your best, enjoy it as much as possible. I don't recall how your last gig went, but I'd take this as another chance to go out with a bang. My band is currently fading out; based on our last show (November) we're going out with a whimper. I'm hoping to get enough energy into them to finish the two shows we have booked for this year in a big fashion.

 

Just remember that it is someone's wedding, and it's not all about you. Though it should be.

[Graham56]

To add to Danzilla's comment, If this is someone's wedding gig then it's a really big deal for them.

 

So you have to do spot-on professional job - the best you possibly can. For your personal reputation as well as for their day.

 

Anything else is cheating them.

 

So, if you thank you and the band can overcome the other issues and do this well, then go for it and knock'em dead. But if you feel that all the 'baggage' could cause problems on stage then I think you'd be best to leave it be.

 

Help the couple find another band if you like.

 

And if that means you end up doing the setlist because, once again, no-one else will, my view is you have to bite that bullet. You owe it to the customers.

 

Cheers

 

Graham

[EddiePlaysBass]

Just got word from the drummer that he is up for it, so I texted the singer to see if he got a hold of the guitarist, and apparently he agreed to honour this final gig. So I guess it's still on! Wonder if I would be able to convince them to add a song or two we haven't played in ages ... But I guess it will be the same old song and dance A fitting end, in more ways than one.

[jcadmus]

Sort of like break-up sex.

 

Not that I would know anything about that personally.

[jeremy c]

Don't try to convince them to do any song, let someone else make up the set list, be a sideman, smile a lot, shake hands at the beginning and end, and go home.

[jcadmus]

Don't try to convince them to do any song, let someone else make up the set list, be a sideman, smile a lot, shake hands at the beginning and end, and go home.

 

Good list, but you left out "eat well" and "get paid."

[Imogene]

Don't try to convince them to do any song, let someone else make up the set list, be a sideman, smile a lot, shake hands at the beginning and end, and go home.

 

+2 for Tenstrum's comments. Low key, smile, enjoy (or at least don't exhibit any signs of pain), and quietly move on.

 

It isn't like you might not play with any of the individuals involved in the future. Life is funny that way.

 

 

Agreed.

 

And, for crying out loud, stop texting and don't step in to plan anything else. Otherwise you'll end up owning it. Let them do that stuff and contact you when they need you.

 

And play well when you get the chance to do that.

[EddiePlaysBass]

And, for crying out loud, stop texting and don't step in to plan anything else. Otherwise you'll end up owning it. Let them do that stuff and contact you when they need you.

 

And play well when you get the chance to do that.

 

Hmmm something to do with old habits, I guess. But I agree, will not make any more arrangements: I will just sit back and see what happens next. Should be ... interesting, if nothing else.

 

On a side note, got two calls from the singer today: one to tell me that he'd talked with the guitarist, who said we hadn't actually split but were "on an extended break". Sounds like a Friends episode. Interestingly, the singer apparently countered that and said: "No, we split". Makes me wonder how much he (singer) still cared for the band ... He then proceeded to tell me this punk band is looking for a singer and he wants to go audition for it. I told him good luck with it. He later called back and said they are also looking for a bassist. I told him good luck with it, but I am not interested in playing punk music.

 

Bob G already hinted at it, and there is a good chance I will end up in a band with some of these people in the future (though I will not actively work towards that goal) but for the time being I think it is better if our musical paths do not cross too much