OT: I decided to quit music..

[frogmonkey]

I hear you Tomkeen. I felt that frustration with bands. I quit them, and worked on my own playing. Then I worked on my own tunes and put together a book of charts of originals and covers/standards.

 

Then I paid some friends a little bit to record with me-- paid them so I would own the recording.

 

Then I booked some gigs, under my name.

 

Then I found some players to play the gigs. I had a "no guitars allowed" rule for years. Usually it was a jazz trio, but I was up to nine pieces with percussion and horns for a while.

 

Now I'm back in bands, but they are working on a much higher level than before. Actually I got tired of being a bandleader and wanted to be a sideman The pendulum swung back. And I play with a good guitarist now too

 

Keep doing your thing, man! Eventually you'll find a band that has it's act together... if you want to, that is.

[Eric VB]

OP wants to play in a band for "fun", yet is frustrated that all of the bands he has been in recently have "led to nothing".

 

Well, those are two conflicting goals right there.

 

A social band is fun. It meets once a week and jams. It is like joining a bowling league in that regard: meet once a week, socialize and have fun.

 

If you want to perform in public regularly or release original music then you have to cross the line into the music business. For most people business is not fun.

 

If you don't approach a music project as a business then you're not as likely to get anywhere, i.e. the projects will lead "to nothing".

 

You have to find people who are on the same page as you; people who have the same goals and will work in a timely manner to achieve those goals.

 

Unfortunately on average your peer group does lack maturity and this will make it harder. (No offense, but the reason your auto insurance goes down at age 25 is because that is when the human brain fully matures and can start making sound decisions with good judgement.) That doesn't mean all old people are not time wasters! You still have to pick and choose, but there are less dead end roads.

 

Case in point is the alternative rock band.

 

If everyone had the same goals then the band would have stuck with playing covers. In the three months you have been together you should have learned a 40 song set list, recorded a demo and started looking for gigs. With any luck you may have had your first show booked in about a month or two.

 

But, you know, 20somethings in general prefer writing original music over doing boring covers of crap that makes the mainstream. (That goes for all generations, not just the current crop.) So a change of heart is not surprising.

 

Especially if you guys do 2-3 rehearsals a week, which doesn't give enough time to practice between rehearsals, so rehearsals might degenerate into jam sessions instead of being productive.

 

Still, a national band that lives and breathes music 24/7 probably won't release an all-original CD more than once a year. How much did you expect to get done part-time in 3 months?

 

Can rehearsals -- and therefore being in a band -- be fun if rehearsals become structured and more like work? Well, working towards a common goal is probably more fun than just getting together every couple of days to jam just for fun, right? Otherwise it's easy to turn rehearsals into fun jam nights and before you know it you're in another social band.

 

So try this.

 

* Honestly define what you want out of music. List goals.

* Find out what it takes to reach those goals.

* Be honest with yourself about the work you need to do to reach those goals.

* Don't be afraid to take a leadership role.

* Find others who are in the same place with the same goals.

 

The last part is the hardest.

[Synthoid]

* Find others who are in the same place with the same goals.

 

The last part is the hardest.

 

Yup.

 

[MikeT156]

Great thread with lots of good advice. As others have said, work on improving yourself. Practice as much as possible, work on your technique, and be sure to work on reading music. That is a skill that will pay off for you in the long run. Being able to write your own arrangements and original music, and sight reading, can pay the bills for you when the regular job market is in the dumper. If you can't read at all or only a little, take lessons with a teacher that can focus on what you want to learn.

 

As you work on your skills, decide what you want to do musically in the near future, and think about long range goals. If you want to perform live, you don't necessarily need a band. If you can play AND sing, you can control your career. If you must depend on others in a band, then conflicts, disagreements, lazy and uncommitted people always comes into the picture. If you develop your skills enough, you can do a solo act. There ARE other opportunities to play music other than being in a band. Don't give up. Your life would really suck without music.

 

 

Cheers,

 

 

Mike T.

[Synthoid]

Don't give up. Your life would really suck without music.

 

+1000

 

 

[Al Coda]

Partially, that is..

 

To make a long story short, I've been playing in bands since age 15 (I'm 22 now). I've had some good experiences in my earlier years and always had a lot of fun playing with other people. The last 4 years though have been taking their toll on that fun. I've played with at least 15/20 different bands, and each and every one of them led me to nothing. Most of those bands were with people I've played with before, and most of them only lasted for a couple of weeks.

 

Man, you´re 22 ! Don´t give up !!!

I´d say,- too many bands, too many individual people you had to deal with, but that´s also the process of learning how to select bands/musicians to work with.

 

One band was with a girl who became third on a national Idol/popstar-like program. We rehearsed once, mediahype started, they never called me again. Another band asked me to play with them around that time, but I declined since I already had three bands at that time.

 

Well, that sounds like you had some expectations in regards of the "The Idol" thing.

The truth is,- these kind of acts are a flash in the pan anyway and I wouldn´t expect anything from that direction at all. The winner is always "The Idol", not the artist and not you as a performing (or producing) keyboardist.

 

a few months later, we only have one song that's finished, and some that still need a lot of work. After last nights horrible rehearsal I could only conclude that I don't have that same fun anymore in making music that I once had. I feel that I put a lot more energy, money and time into playing than I get back.

 

What to say ? Maybe "welcome to the music business" ...

It´s a hard task to learn to say "NO" and there´s the risk envolved to make a wrong decision always.

Is true, if you say "Yes" too often, you lose yourself and one day you´ll be burned out.

It seems, actually you are, but it´s good in some way it happened so early ´cause now you have the chance to change something before it´s too late.

 

It has been such a frustrating experience that now I've decided to sell all my gear,...

 

Tell you what,- I had that several times in my life, starting w/ music/bands when I was 14, became being a pro w/ 21, had success for decades and made my livin´ w/ music, became older, new generations of musicians grew up, had skills too, worked cheaper, times changed and music biz started to behave different, good and bad experiences w/ managers and musicians and so on, but music, keyboards & technology is what makes "my" world go round and I will never give up ´til I die and now I´m 55.

 

Music is one of the best you can do in your live !

 

except for the PC3x.

 

Whatever it is or will be,- maybe a acoustic piano or an accordeon.

 

I'm not going to play in any band anymore, at least for a while. I just want to play by myself now, and maybe focus some more on writing songs on my own instead of with a band.

 

Good decision !

There are so many possibilities to go ahead without the structure of a typical band.

I have many qualified old buddys who decided not to go on tour or working w/ bands very early (80th), went the direction founding their studios, publishing and labels and decided to produce, arrange and/or to record for others in their own studio environment.

Some or ´em did it right, they weren´t the characters to withstand the demands of pro live gigging/touring and now theys are around 60 years old and still have their income.

 

You´re 22 and everything is open for you. Take a brake, practise, improve your skills and think about what to do next future.

If you get calls and offers, don´t trust, doublecheck everything, ask for contracts and everything which is valid to make evident it´s a serious offer or not. Learn to say "NO" and try to get a position that is far from being a "music slave" for energy suckers.

Try to be creative even you have to do other work to make your living.

Maybe all will turn to be a hobby, but that´s still good.

For a hobby, you don´t need much and/or the latest gear,- that will save you a lot of money.

Selling unused gear frees money to survive or to invest in the stuff a songwriter needs. It´s easy to do that w/ one keyboard, a computer and some software and to get good results.

 

No need to quit.

 

A.C.

 

 

[Tomkeen]

[

Well, that sounds like you had some expectations in regards of the "The Idol" thing.

The truth is,- these kind of acts are a flash in the pan anyway and I wouldn´t expect anything from that direction at all. The winner is always "The Idol", not the artist and not you as a performing (or producing) keyboardist.

 

I didn't have any expectations in this case. I was working with the guitarist of her band (they were a pretty well known blues/rock band around here) in some other project, and he asked me if I wanted to join them. I only learned that she was participating in the program after I said yes, and by that time she only got through the first two rounds (well, she had made it to the live-shows by then, but they weren't allowed to say anything, obviously). So I just wanted to play with the blues/rock thing, and didn't give a crap about Crapstars.

 

I've seen her and the guitarist (her boyfriend) in the store where I work after the show finale. I asked them both nicely how things were going etc (while I was extremely pissed at them) and they didn't even bother to ask me about anything. Talk about attitude...

 

Anyway, I've decided to still sell my gear (except for the PC3x, which got picked up for repair today, so I'll be missing that for a few weeks I guess..) and use the money to get an iMac and some softsynths. If there's anything I hate, it's recording on my 13" macbook. The screen is just too small, lol. I'm going to just write songs in my funk/rock/electronic/ambient style and I think I'm going to focus a little more on latin music on the side. I love how latin pianists approach the piano and would love to learn more about playing latin.

[Michelle ggurl]

...and I think I'm going to focus a little more on latin music on the side. I love how latin pianists approach the piano and would love to learn more about playing latin.

 

Right on, I can definitely appreciate that direction!

[JeffLearman]

That's just an example, but I bet most of us know the frustration that makes us feel like we're ready to toss it.

I've been away from my wife for a week.

 

I also bet a number of us actually have tried to toss it.

I usually succeed.

Yeah, like my friends who've quit smoking dozens and dozens of times!

 

"Hi, I'm Kevin; I'm a musiholic. I've been note-free for ... um (checks his watch) ... 15 minutes now! Sorry I'm late for the meeting, but there's a piano in the lobby."

[oxfordman]

I quit all the time. As a matter of fact, I recommend it. Get away from the boards, dump the bandmates, take a trip, clear your head, reconnect with the real world. Then when you find you can't stop thinking about playing, come back with a clear head and a better attitude and set sail again. Like most of us... you're probably hooked, You couldn't quit all together if you tried.

[darth dad]

But I like alcohol....

 

Liking it is fine, its when you need it that's the problem.

 

My newest hobby is collecting empty wine bottles.

 

Sounds so much nicer than 'alcoholic'

[Eric Iverson]

Maybe if you collect enough of them, you can auction off your collection at Sotheby's or something......

[JeffLearman]

I quit all the time. As a matter of fact, I recommend it. Get away from the boards, dump the bandmates, take a trip, clear your head, reconnect with the real world. Then when you find you can't stop thinking about playing, come back with a clear head and a better attitude and set sail again. Like most of us... you're probably hooked, You couldn't quit all together if you tried.

True.

 

When I was 18, I sliced down the tip of my middle finger with an electric hedge clipper (hi Tom! ) I couldn't play for the whole summer. The first time I played again, my best friend (whom I hadn't seen all summer) remarked on how much better I'd gotten. It made me mad at the time, but it was true. Thinking about playing had helped me more than moving my fingers in the same old ruts.

[offnote]

gush, he is whining on few forums about it...quit but once for good, forums included.

 

[ProfD]

As others have stated, "You're still a young man..."

 

No need to 'quit'. Play music on your own terms. Listen, learn and practice to maintain your chops. Keep at least one up-to-date KB. Find like-minded musos. You'll be fine.

[Tomkeen]

gush, he is whining on few forums about it...quit but once for good, forums included.

 

Two to be exact. As I stated in my original post, I also posted this on KSS. Not because I'm a whiner, but because I like both places and since they are very different, I expected different reactions. Your reaction is about as helpful as the one Tremens posted at KSS.