EddiePlaysBass Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 I've had it. Those here who care, know about my ongoing frustration with my band. Today I caught myself wishing it would snow, just so I could get out from under rehearsal. And that was it for me. I realised this is supposed to be a hobby (I'm a weekend warrior, and proud to be) and a hobby is supposed to be fun. Having to drag yourself to rehearsal is not my idea of fun. So I cancelled rehearsal, and mailed the drummer saying I've had it. I told him that my beef is with our singer's growing dictator position*; that our singer plain and simple does not want to play gigs that last more than 1 hour (but wants at least 300 euro for it, and expects me to pull these gigs out of my hat); that our singer wants headliner gigs (and wants me to pull them out of the same hat) and that from the moment our lead guitarist joined (september 2007) we have managed to build up a set list consisting of : - 15 songs we always play - 3 songs we sometimes play - 10 songs we rehearsed / played live and then dropped That's a grand total of 28 songs in 2.5 year, 1/3rd of which we dropped .... I told the drummer that at this point, he (drummer) either tells me that it's all in my head and the problem lies with me - and I'll quit - or he tells me I'm right, at which point we (being I) will discuss things with the guitarist and toss out our singer. I don't care how, I don't care who. Case in point is, it is the singer who holds us back. Deliberately. So if the guys want to "disband and reform minus singer", fine by me. If the guys want to start a side project consisting of all the Dapper Dans minus the singer, fine by me. But I have had it, and I'm tired of always coming here and complaining about it, all the while doing nothing about it. Something or someone has got to give, and at this point I'd be better off being "between bands" than playing the same 12 - 15 songs week after week. Any monkey could pull that off ... * I agree that ultimately, a singer's got to sing the songs, but if 8 out of the 15 songs we play have at some point been sung by Elvis, so him not wanting to do the ONE Elvis song the guitarist requests is no longer a matter of him not being able to sing the song, but rather him not WANTING to sing the song - he'd rather do Mike Ness songs instead ... "I'm a work in progress." Micky Barnes The Ross Brown Shirt World Tour Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fingertalkin Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 At this point, it seems as there is nothing left for you there. Even if things "work" out, it will rear its ugly head again at some point. I say punt the singer and you all move on. Keep the name, I dig it. How do you sign a computer screen? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimR Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 Good luck mate. Feel the groove internally within your own creativity. - fingertalkin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Groove Mama Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 I've had it. I have no experience playing in a band, but I think those three little words say it all. If you're not having fun, Dude, what's the point? Queen of the Quarter Note "Think like a drummer, not like a singer, and play much less." -- Michele C. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
picker Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 You gotta do what you gotta do, man. Sometimes it gets to a place where you can't go on the way things are, and you're options to change the situation are limited to going along or getting out. If you can take the drummer and guitar guy with, great. If not, shake the dust off your feet and move on to the next phase. A lot of bands would give their eyeteeth for a bassist who can play AND book gigs. Always remember that you are unique. Just like everyone else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
b5pilot Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 I feel your pain and I think you are right, time to dump that singer. I think you should have no trouble finding a new singer. Good luck! Lydian mode? The only mode I know has the words "pie ala" in front of it. http://www.myspace.com/theeldoradosband Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross Brown Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 This is a correlary (sp?) to "when the student is ready, the teacher will appear"... move on. Be strong and be happy. "When I take a stroll down Jackass Lane it is usually to see someone that is already there" Mrs. Brown Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bottom End Posted February 12, 2010 Share Posted February 12, 2010 Good for you! "Call me what instrument you will, though you can fret me, yet you cannot play upon me.'-Hamlet Guitar solos last 30 seconds, the bass line lasts for the whole song. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jlrush Posted February 12, 2010 Share Posted February 12, 2010 Good luck David. You've hung in there with this band for a good while, something had to give. A new band could be just around the corner. Visit my band's new web site. www.themojoroots.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimR Posted February 12, 2010 Share Posted February 12, 2010 I would just like to say that in all relationships, including band ones, open communication is the key. I learned this the hard way with one band, I let things go when I should have spoken up, eventually it builds up to the point where you just throw it all in because you are so frustrated. Keep communicating with your new band, and when things are not going the way you want, speak up. Otherwise you'll never know how the others are feeling or whether they still share the same views and goals. Better to knock it on the head on good terms when it starts to drift rather than pushing against a brick wall when all are pulling in different directions and ending on a sour note.. Feel the groove internally within your own creativity. - fingertalkin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcadmus Posted February 12, 2010 Share Posted February 12, 2010 Sounds like a classic bad L.S.D.* trip. Fire the singer, get someone else. *Lead Singer Disease -- a horrible affliction. "Tours widely in the southwestern tip of Kentucky" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EddiePlaysBass Posted February 12, 2010 Author Share Posted February 12, 2010 Thanks everyone. This is a long time coming but, like I have said before, I have made (several) attempts at getting my point across. The singer is a spoiled brat and is used to getting his way. I'm not saying that out of spite, it's a fact - his brother is the same way. By continuously giving in to him we as a band have only fed this behaviour further. Because as I have pointed out above, we (being I) have tried reason and logic. Who knew he'd be immune to both? I am curious to see what the drummer will have to say. I wouldn't mind getting together with these guys (singer included) to jam once in a while and do the odd gig, but playing the same songs week after week at rehearsal has worn me down and burnt me out and I refuse to be part of it any more, just to feed the singer's ego and enable him to boast about "being in a band." "I'm a work in progress." Micky Barnes The Ross Brown Shirt World Tour Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
butcherNburn Posted February 12, 2010 Share Posted February 12, 2010 Dump the singer. I think it's probably a lot harder for the others in the band to learn a few songs than he. A band should be like a family, a horribly dysfunctional one but still. I'm surprised you even still have a regular rehearsal, unless it's just an excuse for you guys to get away from the wives and drink beer, not that there's anything wrong with that. Have fun. If you think my playing is bad, you should hear me sing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EddiePlaysBass Posted February 12, 2010 Author Share Posted February 12, 2010 Small update: just had a very constructive talk with the drummer. He agrees with me on almost every level, and definitely wants to continue playing with me. He initially suggested giving our singer an ultimatum or having a sit-down and discuss this. I then pointed out that both myself and we as a band have done this to no avail. He agrees with my assessment that our soon-to-be-ex singer most likely just thinks it's cool to "be in a band" and that we musicians have been too easy going in letting him obtain his absolute veto position. Fair is fair, the blame is not to be put solely on one person here. So I told him I'll have a talk with the guitarist tomorrow to see where he stands. He has an originals project which is starting to take off (and paid gigs in the works) and a kid on the way in the next few weeks, so thinks are fifty-fifty with him. We'll see. The drummer pointed out that even he (guitarist) didn't jump around and had fun during the last few gigs. Definite indicator that something is wrong there too. And I told the drummer that when the time comes and we have to tell Mr. Ex Singer that he is in fact not in this band any more, I'll man up and tell him. Case in point is this confrontation is possibly to be avoided since he too will become a dad come June, and may not actually have time (or permission) to be in a band any more. If not, bummer for me but hey, I'll get to pop that "firing a band member" cherry. Okay so this was not a small update :grin: "I'm a work in progress." Micky Barnes The Ross Brown Shirt World Tour Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross Brown Posted February 12, 2010 Share Posted February 12, 2010 I hate firing people. I hate working with crappy people more.... Want me to fire him? "When I take a stroll down Jackass Lane it is usually to see someone that is already there" Mrs. Brown Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Groove Mama Posted February 12, 2010 Share Posted February 12, 2010 I hate firing people. I hate working with crappy people more.... Want me to fire him? I get the feeling Eddie is looking forward to doing this. Queen of the Quarter Note "Think like a drummer, not like a singer, and play much less." -- Michele C. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fingertalkin Posted February 12, 2010 Share Posted February 12, 2010 It is nice to tell someone when you are out of band. I didn't get told when I was replaced. I had an injury to my hand and couldn't play one show. I gave them a months notice. I emailed my excitement about being ready to play the next two gigs. When I showed up to set up, there was already a bass rig there. The excuse was that they weren't sure that I was going to be able to make it. I had practiced with them two weeks prior.... Well, at least you didn't lose everyone. Let's race. I have a drummer at the moment. Seems you have the same. First one to get a band up and running wins. Win what you say? Who cares, we will both be in a better situation! How do you sign a computer screen? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jlrush Posted February 12, 2010 Share Posted February 12, 2010 I hate firing people. I hate working with crappy people more.... Want me to fire him? Get Donald Trump to fire him. :grin: Visit my band's new web site. www.themojoroots.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
picker Posted February 13, 2010 Share Posted February 13, 2010 Hey, I'll be glad to fire him for you if the need arises. Sounds like he needs it. One day, the wife won't need as much help with the new kid, and he'll be looking for a band to pull the same crap on. SEND A MESSAGE... Always remember that you are unique. Just like everyone else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cthulhu Fhtagn Posted February 13, 2010 Share Posted February 13, 2010 The last sentence in the "musican socal network" site and my website say simply "...last of all, it's gotta be fun. If it ain't fun, I'm out." Sounds like you're there. I don't know how hard it is in Belgium to find band mates or form new bands, but your current situation is unattentable. Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gabass Posted February 13, 2010 Share Posted February 13, 2010 Good on ya Eddie! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Basshappi Posted February 13, 2010 Share Posted February 13, 2010 Firing people is never fun, and if it ever becomes so you better have a serious discussion with the guy in the mirror. But unfortunately it is a part of the gig. I guess that's why it's called the music "busines". But I'm sure that when the time comes you will be able to handle the situation with diplomacy and professionalism. Nothing is as it seems but everything is exactly what it is - B. Banzai Life is what happens while you are busy playing in bands. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeremy c Posted February 13, 2010 Share Posted February 13, 2010 Well, it is difficult to fire someone from a job. This is firing someone from a hobby. That might be harder. Free download of my cd!. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross Brown Posted February 14, 2010 Share Posted February 14, 2010 unfortunately it does get easier... "When I take a stroll down Jackass Lane it is usually to see someone that is already there" Mrs. Brown Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EddiePlaysBass Posted February 14, 2010 Author Share Posted February 14, 2010 Another update: the guitarist is with me too. He did suggest that we either let the singer stay, and play surf instrumentals without him (which I found to be an odd suggestion, especially since he really can't play surf half as well as he thinks :grin:) or wait it out a bit because he (too) thinks that once the singer becomes a dad, he won't be rehearsing with us much longer. I made a counter-suggestion to both drummer and guitarist that we try our hand at a different genre, with me on vocals. Either as a trio or with an additional guitarist (I may have found one). We can then choose to pick a different name, or play as The Dapper Dans, and do the occasional gigs with the singer as "Singer & The Dapper Dans", playing Mike Ness tunes. "I'm a work in progress." Micky Barnes The Ross Brown Shirt World Tour Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeremy c Posted February 14, 2010 Share Posted February 14, 2010 I like that idea. Tell the singer, if he books any gigs doing his 18 songs, you'll be glad to be his back up band. Also tell him that you are not going to rehearse those songs anymore, so he doesn't need to come to rehearsals until he comes up with a gig. Free download of my cd!. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Geoff Posted February 14, 2010 Share Posted February 14, 2010 Well, from what I've heard, Eddie, you have a better voice than the 'singer' anyway - I thought that those clips you put a while back weren't too bad, but I thought the singer's voice was dire.. It's OK to say in now that we're all slagging him off. G. "When the power of love overcomes the love of power the World will know Peace": Jimi Hendrix http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=738517&content=music The Geoff - blame Caevan!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jlrush Posted February 14, 2010 Share Posted February 14, 2010 If the two of you think the guy will quit after the baby is born you are probably right. Waiting could help save a friendship. And after that if he doesn't leave, then fire him. I'm serious about the friendship thing though. Visit my band's new web site. www.themojoroots.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimR Posted February 14, 2010 Share Posted February 14, 2010 Well, it is difficult to fire someone from a job. This is firing someone from a hobby. That might be harder. Indeed. You're not actually firing them as you don't employ them. Breaking up is hard to do. - Neil Sedaka/Carpenters (I don't know who did it originally - probably Adam and Eve ) Feel the groove internally within your own creativity. - fingertalkin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross Brown Posted February 14, 2010 Share Posted February 14, 2010 It is easy to find reasons to put off telling someone they have to go... depends on how much more time you want to waste. "When I take a stroll down Jackass Lane it is usually to see someone that is already there" Mrs. Brown Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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