Nu2Keys Posted February 10, 2010 Share Posted February 10, 2010 Our new chick singer has a long drive and has asked and/or hinted several times to stay at my house after the gig rather than have about a 1 1/2 hr drive home. I'm not married but I DO have a GF who probably wouldn't be too happy about it. On the one hand as a bandmate it shouldn't be a problem, but there's no denying that she's a girl, and attractive. To me it was wrong of her to ask, but since she did, as a BANDMATE it would probably be wrong for me to say no. But it sets a precedent that might mean she would feel like she could stay at my house any time we have a gig here. Any thoughts? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeff Klopmeyer Posted February 10, 2010 Share Posted February 10, 2010 Any thoughts? Conflicting ones. 1. If it was a guy, you probably wouldn't think twice about it. You'd be happy to let your (male) singer come by and get some shut-eye instead of making a long drive after a show. 2. Regardless of whether of not your girlfriend is insecure, you're basically asking for trouble having an attractive woman come spend the night. In fact, it's the worst kind of trouble, since you'll get all the downside and none of the benefit (assuming there's no hanky-panky between you and the singer). If it were me, I'd only say yes if my girlfriend and my singer were well acquainted and the decision was left up to her. Otherwise, be prepared to face the wrath of the woman! Good luck. Marketing Communications for MI/Pro Audio My solo music and stuff They Stole My Crayon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
linwood Posted February 10, 2010 Share Posted February 10, 2010 pics Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gary75 Posted February 10, 2010 Share Posted February 10, 2010 What a nightmarish situation! Say yes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gary75 Posted February 10, 2010 Share Posted February 10, 2010 Oh and the obligatory quote "pictures or it didn't happen" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Force Posted February 10, 2010 Share Posted February 10, 2010 Reality show idea for ABC.. Steve Force, Durham, North Carolina -------- My Professional Websites Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kanker. Posted February 10, 2010 Share Posted February 10, 2010 If it were me, I'd only say yes if my girlfriend and my singer were well acquainted and the decision was left up to her. Otherwise, be prepared to face the wrath of the woman! Or, perhaps you have your girlfriend crash at your house that night too. Then your girlfriend knows you're on the up and up, the singer knows what's up, and then if anything goes down, you're probably going to dig it... A ROMpler is just a polyphonic turntable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timwat Posted February 10, 2010 Share Posted February 10, 2010 +1 to Kevin's suggestion. That was my first thought as well. The GF gets to mark her territory, you get to be a solid bandmate and protect your existing relationships, and the attractive singer realizes you're a stand=up guy w/ your girl. Don't see a downside. .. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BluesKeys Posted February 10, 2010 Share Posted February 10, 2010 Jimmy Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others. Groucho NEW BAND CHECK THEM OUT www.steveowensandsummertime.com www.jimmyweaver.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpaceNorman Posted February 10, 2010 Share Posted February 10, 2010 Can we safely assume you don;t living in a studio apartment - so "staying at your house" doesn't mean staying in your room or worse, sleeping in your bed? Is so, I'd have a real issue with a GF that had an issue with a co-worker spending the night to avoid an 1.5 hour commute at 3:00 am. If you travel as part of a day gig - your GF would find that it's uncommon for female coworkers to be travelling with too - overnighting in room next door at whatever hotel you're in. Personally, I'd be working on the GF regarding treating you like a grown up and resolving her trust issues. The SpaceNorman Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
linwood Posted February 10, 2010 Share Posted February 10, 2010 The guitar player would let her stay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ProfD Posted February 10, 2010 Share Posted February 10, 2010 I'm not married but I DO have a GF who probably wouldn't be too happy about it. There is your answer. Unless the singer is willing to pinch hit or stand in the gap. PD "The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return."--E. Ahbez "Nature Boy" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ITGITC Posted February 10, 2010 Share Posted February 10, 2010 Or, perhaps you have your girlfriend crash at your house that night too. Then your girlfriend knows you're on the up and up, the singer knows what's up, and then if anything goes down, you're probably going to dig it... Where do I start? Kevin takes the long road to say what takes me just one word: Threesome. "Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent." - Victor Hugo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gary75 Posted February 10, 2010 Share Posted February 10, 2010 kankers word diplomacy is indeed aspiring... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bottom End Posted February 10, 2010 Share Posted February 10, 2010 YOu could introduce your GF to the singer, and if they get along, it probably would be less of a problem. Your GF might actually suggest the singer stay over after a gig rather than drive home. Women are unpredictable like that. "Call me what instrument you will, though you can fret me, yet you cannot play upon me.'-Hamlet Guitar solos last 30 seconds, the bass line lasts for the whole song. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kanker. Posted February 10, 2010 Share Posted February 10, 2010 Or, perhaps you have your girlfriend crash at your house that night too. Then your girlfriend knows you're on the up and up, the singer knows what's up, and then if anything goes down, you're probably going to dig it... Where do I start? Kevin takes the long road to say what takes me just one word: Threesome. Got some pork in the slow cooker right now for some poor man's pulled pork Tom. If Nu2Keys just came out and said "threesome," my bet is he'd have to be pulling his own pork from here on out... A ROMpler is just a polyphonic turntable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ProfD Posted February 10, 2010 Share Posted February 10, 2010 Women are unpredictable like that. Many are territorial. Especially if the other one is attractive. PD "The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return."--E. Ahbez "Nature Boy" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeff Klopmeyer Posted February 10, 2010 Share Posted February 10, 2010 Personally, I'd be working on the GF regarding treating you like a grown up and resolving her trust issues. There are many varieties of relationships, and I think they're entitled to define what's cool without that kind of input. Ask the number of men on this forum how many of them are okay with their wives/girlfriends spending the night with attractive male co-workers, and you might see what I mean here. Marketing Communications for MI/Pro Audio My solo music and stuff They Stole My Crayon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kanker. Posted February 10, 2010 Share Posted February 10, 2010 Ask the number of men on this forum how many of them are okay with their wives/girlfriends spending the night with attractive male co-workers, and you might see what I mean here. How much does the gig pay? A ROMpler is just a polyphonic turntable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danimuschi Posted February 10, 2010 Share Posted February 10, 2010 i live with my girlfriend and I've had a female singer (who lives in another city) sleep in the room next to us when we have shows where she need a place to stay... They have become friends and talk on the phone and go to cafes and stuff when she's here... Chances are your girl will like your singer more than your drummer ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meisenhower Posted February 10, 2010 Share Posted February 10, 2010 Should it be a problem? No. Will it be a problem? You bet your ass it will, especially with the GF. As it was said, had that bandmate been a guy, no harm, no foul. Sure come stay in the spare room, couch, whatever. Because your singer is an attractive female, that changes everything. It shouldn't, but it does. Unless you can assure your GF that this is strictly a "doing the right thing" kind of thing , you're asking for trouble. If the GF isn't a permanent part of your equation, then what is the difference. If you can assure yourself that there are no "ulterior motives" going on that could lead to problems . . . i.e.; "we were a little wasted after the gig, and well those things happen", then it should be cool. How often does this gig situation come up? Is this going to become a regular thing, with her expecting a room when you gig near your home. Only you know for sure what the deal is, and what the ultimate consequences would be. I'm guessing if it were a slam dunk and not an issue, we wouldn't be hearing about it at all. Yamaha C7 Grand, My Hammonds: '57 B3, '54 C2, '42 BC, '40 D, '05 XK3 Pro System, Kawai MP9000, Fender Rhodes Mk I 73, Yamaha CP33, Motif ES6, Nord Electro 2, Minimoog Voyager & Model D, Korg MS10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
B3bluesman59 Posted February 10, 2010 Share Posted February 10, 2010 Kevin takes the long road to say what takes me just one word: Threesome. ________________________________________________________________ You guys are quacking me up....quack quack!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillWelcome Home Studios Posted February 10, 2010 Share Posted February 10, 2010 Our new chick singer has a long drive and has asked and/or hinted several times to stay at my house after the gig rather than have about a 1 1/2 hr drive home. I'm not married but I DO have a GF who probably wouldn't be too happy about it. On the one hand as a bandmate it shouldn't be a problem, but there's no denying that she's a girl, and attractive. To me it was wrong of her to ask, but since she did, as a BANDMATE it would probably be wrong for me to say no. But it sets a precedent that might mean she would feel like she could stay at my house any time we have a gig here. Any thoughts? Shouldn't this letter got to Penthouse Forum? anyway the answer is real simple: have your GF stay on those nights. Only get into an emotional involvement with another member of the band if you want everyone else in the band to hate you, and you like the idea of justifying every move and supporting her ideas just because you are sleeping together. "I believe that entertainment can aspire to be art, and can become art, but if you set out to make art you're an idiot." Steve Martin Show business: we're all here because we're not all there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legatoboy Posted February 10, 2010 Share Posted February 10, 2010 Beware! Ask your GF first of course! SP6, CP-50,YC 73, FP-80, PX5-S, NE-5d61, XK-3, CX-3, Yamaha YUX Upright, '66 B3/Leslie 145/122 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marzzz Posted February 10, 2010 Share Posted February 10, 2010 Well, it worked for Fleetwood Mac...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adan Posted February 10, 2010 Share Posted February 10, 2010 This is like watching a movie where you know exactly the mistake the protagonist is going to make and you keep thinking "don't do it" and of course they do it anyway. Make sure you get a good original song or two out of it! Gigging: Crumar Mojo 61, Hammond SKPro Home: Vintage Vibe 64 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ksoper Posted February 10, 2010 Share Posted February 10, 2010 I learned many years ago...don't ever, EVER, sleep with the chick singer. Or any chick singer. They're all completely nuts. Something about the effect of stage lighting on estrogen... 9 Moog things, 3 Roland things, 2 Hammond things and a computer with stuff on it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Byrdman Posted February 10, 2010 Share Posted February 10, 2010 This is like watching a movie where you know exactly the mistake the protagonist is going to make and you keep thinking "don't do it" and of course they do it anyway. Make sure you get a good original song or two out of it! And don't go down to the basement. Now if you and your GF have not actually got to the staying the night bit, this could get awkward fast no matter what you do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Maximus_ Posted February 10, 2010 Share Posted February 10, 2010 This is funny as many said before me let your GF stay the night also. Whats the worse that can happend?.............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Loving Posted February 10, 2010 Share Posted February 10, 2010 Singers come and go. I think it's a mistake to get too chummy with her. reference, fleetwood mac. Rent the singer a hotel room...but then, you know your GF and how she'd take this. I'd say don't do it. I really can't see an upside for you on this one. You are going to lose eventually. "Forget it, Jake. It's Chinatown." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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