Ross Brown Posted January 31, 2010 Share Posted January 31, 2010 Played a good blues gig last night at a place that likes the blues.... My wife sings in this band and apparently she is interesting... a guy dropped a napkin at her feet and gave her the "call me" signal with his hands... the napkin had written on it "Horn Dog" and his phone number (and some sort of cute little smiley face. I did not know this could be an effective way to pick up chicks... he must have them falling all over him. BTW, he did this on his way out of the bar... didn't even have the balls to stick around and talk with her... nice.... The rest of us in the band were jealous... no one gave us a napkin... "When I take a stroll down Jackass Lane it is usually to see someone that is already there" Mrs. Brown Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davio Posted January 31, 2010 Share Posted January 31, 2010 Would you be less jealous if he gave you a napkin too? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross Brown Posted January 31, 2010 Author Share Posted January 31, 2010 maybe a little too kinky... "When I take a stroll down Jackass Lane it is usually to see someone that is already there" Mrs. Brown Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davio Posted January 31, 2010 Share Posted January 31, 2010 That's what I figured. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gabass Posted January 31, 2010 Share Posted January 31, 2010 At least he didn't hand her the napkin and point to her nose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross Brown Posted January 31, 2010 Author Share Posted January 31, 2010 "When I take a stroll down Jackass Lane it is usually to see someone that is already there" Mrs. Brown Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cthulhu Fhtagn Posted January 31, 2010 Share Posted January 31, 2010 You're a napkin. Next product from Apple - the iNapkin Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
picker Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 I heard a story about a guy whose technique in picking up women consisted of walking up to chicks and asking them them if they wanted to "do the nasty" with him. He got his face slapped a lot. But, he apparently did the nasty a lot too, often enough that he kept using that line. True story. Anyone who says they understand all women is either a total liar, or in for some very sad awakenings... Always remember that you are unique. Just like everyone else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J. Dan Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 A buddy of mine was riding in a car with some friends (a couple girls, a couple guys), and someone was saying that in some survey, something like 10% of gals would hook up with you if you just walked up and asked. The gal in the back seat with him leans over and whispers "I would be one of those 10%". You can figure out the rest. Dan Acoustic/Electric stringed instruments ranging from 4 to 230 strings, hammered, picked, fingered, slapped, and plucked. Analog and Digital Electronic instruments, reeds, and throat/mouth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
butcherNburn Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 I heard a story about a guy whose technique in picking up women consisted of walking up to chicks and asking them them if they wanted to "do the nasty" with him. He got his face slapped a lot. But, he apparently did the nasty a lot too, often enough that he kept using that line. True story. I've known a bunch of guys like that and it's true. It's a law of averages thing combined with the attraction to confidence. Most of them came off like real a**holes, and weren't very good looking but they always got girls, good looking ones too. If you think my playing is bad, you should hear me sing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
butcherNburn Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 Ross, you should call him and make no effort to disguise your voice. If you think my playing is bad, you should hear me sing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross Brown Posted February 1, 2010 Author Share Posted February 1, 2010 Came up with two plans: 1) Post a prominant listing of all of the names and phone numbers of all of the dudes that have tried to "pick up the singer" near the band stand. Even if I have to make them up it might be a deterant. 2) Publish them in the newspaper so the ladies can check to see if they recognize any of the phone numbers. Won't do either.... I don't mind them being interested as long as they understand the answer... otherwise I will help them with that... "When I take a stroll down Jackass Lane it is usually to see someone that is already there" Mrs. Brown Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Bear Jew Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 I think every band with female members eventually becomes accustomed to this kind of thing. The real pros take it in stride and handle the more... erm... "eager" types like Dalton from Roadhouse--they're nice until it's time to stop being nice. \m/ Erik "To fight and conquer in all your battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence consists of breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting." --Sun Tzu Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moot Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 Apparently your wife is worthy of notice. Maybe you should be flattered and get over it? "He is to music what Stevie Wonder is to photography." getz76 I have nothing nice to say so . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross Brown Posted February 1, 2010 Author Share Posted February 1, 2010 Oh yea. It is flattering, certainly. Nothing to get over. I am just sharing a story... "When I take a stroll down Jackass Lane it is usually to see someone that is already there" Mrs. Brown Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcadmus Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 How long did it take him to pull your bass out of his ass when you got done with him? "Tours widely in the southwestern tip of Kentucky" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross Brown Posted February 1, 2010 Author Share Posted February 1, 2010 It would have gone clean through.... "When I take a stroll down Jackass Lane it is usually to see someone that is already there" Mrs. Brown Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5 string Mike Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 Guy I know shared a story once where his 17 y.o daughter was a waitress in a restaurant and he and his wife had stopped in for dinner while their daughter was working. It was pretty crowded in there, but he noticed this one particular guy customer seemed to be constantly hitting on her (note this guy wasn't 'old', but he was obviously old enough not to be hitting on a young gal like her). She finally says, in a rather loud voice, "See that guy over there, with the red shirt and blue jeans on? He's my dad. We live in the same house. If you really want my number that bad, go get it from him." The guy never bothered her again... "Political language... is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind"- George Orwell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chad Thorne Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 Guy I know shared a story once where his 17 y.o daughter was a waitress in a restaurant and he and his wife had stopped in for dinner while their daughter was working. It was pretty crowded in there, but he noticed this one particular guy customer seemed to be constantly hitting on her (note this guy wasn't 'old', but he was obviously old enough not to be hitting on a young gal like her). She finally says, in a rather loud voice, "See that guy over there, with the red shirt and blue jeans on? He's my dad. We live in the same house. If you really want my number that bad, go get it from him." The guy never bothered her again... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteveC Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 That's awesome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric VB Posted February 5, 2010 Share Posted February 5, 2010 I think every band with female members eventually becomes accustomed to this kind of thing. Well, sorta. It's one reason women don't join bands or don't stay in them. They may become "accustomed", but they may also get tired of it after a while, too. Worst night so far was when the local iron-pumper had too much liquid courage and decided he was going to get lucky. As the night wore on there were less and less victims for this guy, who's SOP was to reach out, grab and cling to any hapless woman who got too close. After trying his best with all the band wives he desperately noticed the only untried target left: lead singer. So he approached the stage and worked his magic while we're playing a song. Fortunately his buddies reeled him in before it got ugly. At another gig someone was passing out business cards for us while we were performing. After receiving a card, a young woman in the back of the room asked if the cute guy in the band was attached. There were two guys in the band so our helper asked, "Which one?" The young woman pointed me out. Our helper replied, "Yeah, he's married, and I'm his wife." That's the closest I'll ever get to receiving a napkin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EddiePlaysBass Posted February 5, 2010 Share Posted February 5, 2010 the local iron-pumper had too much liquid courage There's at least two potential posts for the "Name My Band" thread in that particular quote ... "I'm a work in progress." Micky Barnes The Ross Brown Shirt World Tour Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Groove Mama Posted February 5, 2010 Share Posted February 5, 2010 I heard a story about a guy whose technique in picking up women consisted of walking up to chicks and asking them them if they wanted to "do the nasty" with him. He got his face slapped a lot. But, he apparently did the nasty a lot too, often enough that he kept using that line. True story. Anyone who says they understand all women is either a total liar, or in for some very sad awakenings... I was enjoying a drink at a bar with two girlfriends, when this kid (had to be close to half my age) walks up to me, and the first words out of his mouth are, "Wow, what a great set of ----." Now, mind you, I am no spring chicken, and I was not provocatively dressed. I was so shocked by this outrageous come-on that I didn't even know how to respond -- I figured he's GOT to be kidding or something -- so I just said, "Uh, nice to meet you, too." The kid then takes great umbrage at the fact that I don't know how to accept a genuine compliment. So go figger. Needless to say, I was not charmed by this experience. Moral of the story: Liquored-up people do and say really stupid things. Queen of the Quarter Note "Think like a drummer, not like a singer, and play much less." -- Michele C. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross Brown Posted February 5, 2010 Author Share Posted February 5, 2010 Yes they do.... "When I take a stroll down Jackass Lane it is usually to see someone that is already there" Mrs. Brown Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
b5pilot Posted February 5, 2010 Share Posted February 5, 2010 I heard a story about a guy whose technique in picking up women consisted of walking up to chicks and asking them them if they wanted to "do the nasty" with him. He got his face slapped a lot. But, he apparently did the nasty a lot too, often enough that he kept using that line. True story. I used to work with a singer that used to do that. He was a first class A-hole yet he got a lot of action with that line. Yeah, go figure. Lydian mode? The only mode I know has the words "pie ala" in front of it. http://www.myspace.com/theeldoradosband Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Bear Jew Posted February 5, 2010 Share Posted February 5, 2010 I think every band with female members eventually becomes accustomed to this kind of thing. Well, sorta. It's one reason women don't join bands or don't stay in them. They may become "accustomed", but they may also get tired of it after a while, too. Depends on what scene we're discussing. The all-female original punk, metal, etc, bands just find ways to deal with the nonsense that works for them. Usually these ladies find really scathing ways to handle the jerks when it's time to stop being nice. I think more of these bands disintegrate for the same reasons that the all-male bands do (bad pay, family stuff, etc) then from dealing with jerky audience members. \m/ Erik "To fight and conquer in all your battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence consists of breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting." --Sun Tzu Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
picker Posted February 5, 2010 Share Posted February 5, 2010 ...I am no spring chicken, and I was not provocatively dressed. That guy should still be looking for the face that was slapped off his head. By you AND the bouncer. But you're right, booze makes people do terrible stuff. It can magically transform a reasonably nice guy into a slobbering vulgarian. What's worse though, is that it can magically transform the homeliest woman into a raving beauty queen, and a drooling slob into a wealthy athelete! The stuff is dangerous... Always remember that you are unique. Just like everyone else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Groove Mama Posted February 5, 2010 Share Posted February 5, 2010 ...I am no spring chicken, and I was not provocatively dressed. That guy should still be looking for the face that was slapped off his head. By you AND the bouncer. And you're so right. But wait. This story gets even weirder. This kid is highly offended that I don't respond positively to his comment, so I take pity on him. I figure, he's just a kid and somehow inexplicably doesn't know how offensive he's being, so I'll enlighten him. I mean, who says stuff like that; right? So I say, "I'll assume you mean to flatter me, so thank you for that, I guess. But just so you know, commenting on a woman's body parts, even before you introduce yourself, is really quite demeaning." And you know what he says back? "Fine. Then I hate your f'ing ----. Happy now?" At which point I said, "OK, a*hole. This conversation is officially over." Sheesh. Queen of the Quarter Note "Think like a drummer, not like a singer, and play much less." -- Michele C. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Bear Jew Posted February 5, 2010 Share Posted February 5, 2010 So... have you two set a date for your wedding or picked out a pattern for your china? \m/ Erik "To fight and conquer in all your battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence consists of breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting." --Sun Tzu Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saxofunk Posted February 5, 2010 Share Posted February 5, 2010 ... it can magically transform the homeliest woman into a raving beauty queen, and a drooling slob into a wealthy athelete! The stuff is dangerous... Well said. - Matt W. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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