Getting People (Like Friends) To Listen To Your Music?

[phaeton]

You have some friends over, or talk to friends that are online or whatnot. You offer to share some of your (own) music with them, and they stumble around with words, apparently trying to find a polite way to decline. (I'm not talking about trying to shop your tunes around to recording studios or record labels here) Lots of these folks dig indie-label stuff and have the same views as all of us here on SSS about manufactured major-label stuff. These folks dig going to see live music in bars and stuff. I would figure that they'd jump on an offer to hear something that's from the heart and not from the Marketing and Consumer Research Department of Warner Brothers. Ok, maybe they think i totally suck or something. Likes and dislikes are subjective, and I can deal with that. But in most cases, these people haven't heard any of my stuff before, so they have nothing to base it on. Most of the people i'm referring to are non-musicians, and none of them are people here on SSS. Because I am thier friend (as opposed to a stranger) does it make them feel uncomfortable like: "omigawd, what if i don't like it? I'd have to tell him he sounds like shit, which would hurt his feelings. Or if i lie and say it's great, he'll force me to listen to more crap!"? I can turn my friends on to all kinds of new (or old) music, as long as it isn't mine. You guys ever run into this?

[Bill Heins]

Do what I do, first make sure the friends you want to share your music with enjoy the genre you will be playing for them, and then just say "Listen to this" and play it...don't ask ;) Let them tell you if they like it or don't and why...easier if they don't know it's yours right away, that way they don't feel uncomfortable giving empty praise to something they don't enjoy :) Darkon the Incandescent

[Barandine Vondenger]

MY budds like my jams mostly and seem to want to hear my latest efforts as long as THEY AIN'T GOT TO BUY it. ahahaha! some try to buy it but I say NO it is just demos. I give away copies and other friends get torqued cause I did'nt give them a copy too. and I am supposed to have them ON hand at all times(even when I'm shoppin' at k-mart). the folkes at the RADIO STATION liked them enough to play for several weeks in a row. I ain't listened in a while to see iffen they still play my tunes. MAINLY some folkes like em and some folkes don't . I really don't mind either way cause I LIKE 'em. ahahaha! most folkes want to hear my OLD,old tunes and I just don't do those songs any more. although I guess I have to record all of those too(one day) so they will stop buggin' me. The sad part is I cain't even REMEMBER half of them old tunes. OY!

[Veracohr]

Just put it on, [i]then[/i] ask them how they like it. Then you can tell them it's you afterword.

[phaeton]

Btw arrel, i listened to your tunes. They've got that semi-campy-and-great-juvenile-fun feel to them. Definately enjoyable and it sounds like you folks were having a ball. I miss those days. Fun stuff though. I cheated, took apart the URL and downloaded the *.ra files directly, and now i've got Sgt. Carter And The Gome-Tones in my XMMS shuffled playist, I hope you know. I like your stuff. Kinda 60's-ish and in some places surfy. ;) Anyways... What i tell them when they ask "who is it?"... Lie? "oh it's some guy". heh

[Barandine Vondenger]

HEY PHAETON, Cool, I'll give you that "dollar" the next time I see ya'. I They ain't NO FOLKES.no band, just me, a strat and a seagull flat top ,a shure fifty-seven, an ancient casio keyboard and midi drums. . All me, all free and tell 'em it's R.L.SPENCER. download all you want I'll just make more ahahaha!

[kylen]

Yes I've been in that situation and continue to be. When folks are in my living room they can expect to hear all kinds of cool music - including mine. When I go out - locally or on the internet it's different. Just like the live performance - exciting to put yourself out there - but unpredictable. I've had folks say that's the best thing they ever heard and I've had folks take the music out of the player and hand it back half-way thru a song. Ha Ha - be prepared for both ! As long as you enjoy making the music sooner or later you will find someone who enjoys listening to it - or participating in it's creation. Where does a road lead when you begin the journey - depends how many turns and crossroads it has ! Have fun though wherever you end up and keep your self-esteem pinned to your jacket so you don't lose it (kind of like those little mitten thingies we all used to have). kylen

[Prague]

"The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence" They know you. You live locally. "If you were any good you wouldn't be living here in (insert your town name)." or "How could anyone be any good if I know them?" It's just that thing that if you were from somewhere else they would listen. Other people in another place will listen. Just give them a CD and let them listen on their own time. If you never hear back, you know why.

[G. Ratte]

I definitely think it's way too awkward to be sitting in a room with people playing them your new stuff. I much prefer to just give them a CD, and then don't speak of it again. If they have anything to say, they'll say it.

[phaeton]

[b]HEY PHAETON, Cool, I'll give you that "dollar" the next time I see ya'.[/b] What for? [b]I[/b] Eye? Is this some bizarre Area 51 Greeting? [b] They ain't NO FOLKES.no band, just me, a strat and a seagull flat top ,a shure fifty-seven, an ancient casio keyboard and midi drums. . All me, all free and tell 'em it's R.L.SPENCER. download all you want I'll just make more ahahaha![/b] Yeah, i thought it was just you, but you never can tell.. It almost sounds like a bunch of guys. Take it as a compliment. Fwiw i get the same thing: "Dewd, you need to hit your drummer over the head with his crash cymbal... he WAY overdoes it." etc. You get a pretty good sound with what you've got. I feel kinda guilty that my setup is so lavish by comparison: Strat Ibanez RG Crappy Yamaha Eterna Acoustic $14 Bargain Bin Condensor Mic $18 K-Mart carbon mic Boss ME-30 8-year old Yamaha MT4X 4-track Broken Alesis HR16 (hasn't worked for years, but i use it as a cable weight) Mic Stands made of Lego(r) Technic(tm) PC Drummer Pro (Win95 Software in VMWare on a K6-II) And a set of blown up giveaway computer speakers. I live in an apartment, on the second floor, so my guitar amp and makeshift drumset collect dust.

[Barandine Vondenger]

i give you a dollah cause we made a deal that ever time you talke me "up" I give you a dollah. ahahah an olde joke. I use a two dollar pencil "mike" with a foam pop filter for the acoustic. works weally well.. I have thirty dollar radio shack mike that I use on different stuff. then A korg processor as well.

[LiveMusic]

[quote]Originally posted by phaeton: [b]You guys ever run into this?[/b][/quote]Phaeton, it is unreal. It's like I wrote your post. Word for word. The predicament you describe has been the biggest letdown for me of all. There are people who OWE me. Some even owe me money. I am still trying to figure it out but something is definitely going on. Psychology or sociological forces at play. I dunno. It's like, just in the past few days I have (almost) completed a song that, to me, is just killer. I wrote it on piano. Man, it may be my best ever. I've said that before. Haha but I really do like this. I can't wait for someone to hear it. I don't know the answer but I'm still trying to figue it out. Like you, I've thought well, they think I might suck. But when I play for people, I get lots of compliments. I get into it and we hoot and holler and I get them involved and it's a sing-along and we just have a grand time. So, I don't know what to say about it. Strange. Especially when they owe me. That just doesn't set too well when I've helped them when they needed it but when I need help (just listening to me and giving honest feedback), they don't take me up on it. And they say they will and it sounds like a great thing to do to them, and they never come through and even lie.

[where02190]

Play it, mix it in with other suff you'r eplaying them they don't wince about. Then ask em later of if they mind...let em squirm a bit....then let the cat out of the bag, so to speak.

[the stranger]

I run into the same thing. Family is usually worse than friends, if they are the type who thinks your pursuits are trivial, yet have never taken the time to even listen to anything you've done. I think it's intimidation more than anything. I think our non-musician friends are intimidated by us. I don't know if it's because they are jealous or what. Ever get the "yeah, let me check it out", and then they talk and do everything under the sun to distract from the fact that they are listening? I think I'd much rather somebody just say no, than say yes and don't really listen. Anyway, I know who wants to hear shit and who doesn't. I don't even bother trying to play shit for the ones who don't want to take the time to listen. In the end, it doesn't matter. I make music for my own enjoyment. I don't care if anybody likes it or not. If I like it, than it's a job well done. I'll play it until I'm burned out on it, then I'll go and create more.

[phaeton]

[b]It's like, just in the past few days I have (almost) completed a song that, to me, is just killer. I wrote it on piano. Man, it may be my best ever. I've said that before. Haha but I really do like this. I can't wait for someone to hear it. I don't know the answer but I'm still trying to figue it out.[/b] Exactly. You've got stuff and you really dig it and you feel you *need* to share it. You're too excited about it to keep it to yourself. You're rational enough to think that well, maybe it's not someone *else's* cup of tea (and that's fine), but you feel you're doing The Right Thing(tm) by [i]at least giving them the opportunity to like or dislike it[/i]. Yet it defies explanation why they won't be bothered by even listening. [b]In the end, it doesn't matter. I make music for my own enjoyment. I don't care if anybody likes it or not. If I like it, than it's a job well done. I'll play it until I'm burned out on it, then I'll go and create more.[/b] This is my ultimate outlook as well. The world can love my music or hate it, it won't stop me from doing it. But in a way i feel that keeping my music to myself, not sharing with other people, and/or not collaborating with other musicians is letting down both myself, and my music.

[the stranger]

[quote]Originally posted by phaeton: 8-year old Yamaha MT4X 4-track [/QB][/quote]Yeah buddy. I guess mine is about that old, isn't it? Mine's still running like a charm, too.

[Barandine Vondenger]

[quote]. [b]In the end, it doesn't matter. I make music for my own enjoyment. I don't care if anybody likes it or not. If I like it, than it's a job well done. QB][/quote]I do care if folkes like my jams or not. I wish folke to appreciate my ART for what it is and no more. I used strict formulas that should indeed be pleasing to the HUMON EAR and psyche. so much so that total strangers "should" "connect" with the different musics on some levels. That is indeed what has hoppened. albeit in a very limited fashion. I have only certain influences to draw from and then in the end I write strictly from a PERSONAL VIEWPOINT; So for any one to actually connect and make true my theory of "musiloution", concerning my formulaic approach to songwriting and songs in general; just goes to show and thereby truly contends that: "we are all closer and more alike than we are different". I'm still amazed when anybody likes one of my dime a dozen dittys for what ever reason. Every time, still; I hope ALL can appreciate them for what they are even if they don't feel it has GRABBED THEM and won't let go. Folkes NEVER not have a preference, seems like, they either like it or not and I am just as surprised when folkes HATE my music.. ahahaha! why would they HATE it?. hate is a skrong werd no? I'm too young too HATE anything. The end thanks for lettin' me share. I live in la,la land.. la,la!

[phaeton]

Originally posted by thumbsy: [b] quote:Originally posted by phaeton: 8-year old Yamaha MT4X 4-track [/QB] Yeah buddy. I guess mine is about that old, isn't it? Mine's still running like a charm, too.[/b] Yeah actually. I was trying to remember the exact day i bought it. I know i still have the receipt for it somewhere. I [i]think[/i] it was 1995. I had the previous model, and it blew up in the first month i had it. The MT4X just came out to replace it, so i was able to `trade up' to it. What was it, like $650 or so? I say it's probably the biggest favour i've done for myself musically, and i couldn't have spent the money any better. It still seems to just chug along like when it was new. I'm amazed. I expected to have to replace it after 4 years or so. I've noticed lately that there is a strange "gear" noise when fastforwarding and rewinding, but i hope it's just the tape that's in it. I haven't tested that out yet. The only time i seem to think about it is when i'm rewinding back to the start to record another track, and don't want to break the "groove" i'm in by fiddling with cassette tapes.