Crazy Gig

[Phred]

I have read countless funny/crazy gig stories on this forum, and I finally have one to add. Unfortunately I can't find any of the previous threads, so I have to start my own.

 

Friday night, my band had a gig playing for a surprise 50th Birthday party for a friend of my mother-in-law. We were booked by the husband. I barely know the husband, but the woman is a really nice lady. I play in a classic rock/classic rnb band and it was agreed up front that we were to play for 4 hours, 3 sets of Rock and RnB, and get paid at the end of the night. He wanted one thing made clear, that we would pack the dancefloor. I told him we would gear our sets accordingly.

 

At the beginning of the night it was clear that the guy who booked us had been drinking quite a bit. After about 4 or 5 songs, he mosies up to me (while we are playing) and says "you have to shorten up your songs. No longer than 2 minutes for each song". I was taken aback but said something like, I'll see what we can do, and did nothing. After our next song, which we didn't change at all, I give him a questioning thumbs up sign. He smiled and said, "much better".

 

We launch into set 2 and after 2 songs we had the place hopping. Almost everyone, including the guy who booked us, was on the floor dancing. We launch into another uptempo dance favourite, and he drunkingly leans on my gear and says, "play a slow song next". Ok, so we play a slow song, and towards the end of that song he tells me, "you have to play slow songs for the rest of the night". He was asking for almost two full sets of ballads...

 

At the time I was floored. We had the dancefloor packed during the fast songs, and about three quarters packed for the slow songs. Later on that night, my wife told me that he was dancing with a different woman each song and doing his best to grope, and that was easier to do when the song was slow... We played another ballad, and then something mid tempo - the dance floor packs again. He comes right up to me and says, "that's too fast, play slow songs". I said that I would see what we can do, but it would be difficult to play a set and a half of ballads.

 

When we play our next ballad he is dancing with this lady and dips her. Her face smashes right onto the floor. Instant bloody nose. He goes to the washroom to clean off his shirt, and we take the cue to continue to pack the dancefloor for the rest of the set.

 

The next set we put a ballad or two in. In the end we played all the ballads we know.

 

After the show he says, "good job, you guys really had the dance floor packed" (or something like that - he was slurring pretty badly at this point). I ask about payment, and he DOESN'T HAVE IT. I have never had this happen before. I had to pay my guys and he doesn't have our money. I wrote my guys checks that night and didn't even tell them that the guy stiffd me. All is not lost because he just paid me today.

 

However I was more than a little miffed that after that stressfull of a gig, he didn't even have money to pay us.

 

Phred

[stepay]

Man, what a weird gig. Personally I hate special gigs like that where a guy or an organization books the band for a special event -- they have a way of making you believe they own your ass. I'm a member of a band, not a damn juke box. Bars an restaurants with frequent live music know better how it all works. Good thing you got paid, but very poor form of him to not pay you at the end of the night.

[Jim Alfredson]

We always tell those that hire us for weddings or private parties that we do what we do. If you like it, hire us, but don't expect us to change our style for your event and don't tell us what to play.

 

Case in point: The totally annoying wedding planner, who didn't hire us (obviously), was trying to tell us what songs we needed to play at this reception a few months back. She wanted a "song list" and I told her we don't work off song lists. We play what we play. "Well, the bands I work with in Chicago don't work like this..." I said, good for them.

 

During the reception, she had the balls to come up to me in the middle of a tune and tell me we needed to play more "danceable" material. I said, "They hired us because we are a blues band. That's what they want." "Well, people aren't dancing."

 

You know why people were not dancing? Because this wedding planner had the brilliant idea of having the bride and groom do their first dance, invite everyone else to dance after about 2 minutes into the tune, and then after the song everyone had to SIT DOWN to eat their salads. After the salads, she had the daddy/daughter dance and mother/son dance, again inviting other people to come up and dance a few minutes into the song and then SIT DOWN again to eat the main course. After the main course, another dance and then everyone SITS DOWN to eat the cake.

 

WTF? People didn't know if they were eating or dancing! Everyone was confused. It was one of the worst ideas I've seen at a reception. No wonder people didn't want to dance. Of course after everyone finally ate and realized that was the end of the planner's brilliant planning, we had the dance floor packed.

 

 

[stepay]

We always tell those that hire us for weddings or private parties that we do what we do. If you like it, hire us, but don't expect us to change our style for your event and don't tell us what to play.

 

Case in point: The totally annoying wedding planner, who didn't hire us (obviously), was trying to tell us what songs we needed to play at this reception a few months back. She wanted a "song list" and I told her we don't work off song lists. We play what we play. "Well, the bands I work with in Chicago don't work like this..." I said, good for them.

 

During the reception, she had the balls to come up to me in the middle of a tune and tell me we needed to play more "danceable" material. I said, "They hired us because we are a blues band. That's what they want." "Well, people aren't dancing."

 

You know why people were not dancing? Because this wedding planner had the brilliant idea of having the bride and groom do their first dance, invite everyone else to dance after about 2 minutes into the tune, and then after the song everyone had to SIT DOWN to eat their salads. After the salads, she had the daddy/daughter dance and mother/son dance, again inviting other people to come up and dance a few minutes into the song and then SIT DOWN again to eat the main course. After the main course, another dance and then everyone SITS DOWN to eat the cake.

 

WTF? People didn't know if they were eating or dancing! Everyone was confused. It was one of the worst ideas I've seen at a reception. No wonder people didn't want to dance. Of course after everyone finally ate and realized that was the end of the planner's brilliant planning, we had the dance floor packed.

 

 

Man, I will NEVER do a wedding gig. I realize people need to make a living, but I hate the way I see guests at a wedding treat the band -- we had a thread on that before. There are just certain people who feel like they are better than you if they've hired you for something, and they have a way of letting you know it. I don't put up with that. So no weddings for me.

[JohnH]

oh god this thread brings back memories of our dreadful formal nights on cruise ships. Couples and Lovers parties we used to do...60 mins long-almost all ballads. Every week, twice a week. First band did it with had the right idea...some ballads then crank it up. Second band bandleader decided we'd do ballads from start to finish. ( worked with three different bands over the years) Just dreadful. Crowds would end up bored and falling asleep by the end and asking us to speed it up. Used to get the lounge lizard stink off me by using those nights as my guitar practice night, after the gig was over. Thank you Ritchie Blackmore.

 

John

[B3bluesman59]

Phred said: I ask about payment, and he DOESN'T HAVE IT. I have never had this happen before. I had to pay my guys and he doesn't have our money.

_________________________________________________________________

I always ask for and get at least a 50% deposit on casual gigs. I also have the purchaser sign a contract that spells out just what I do musically and that I have complete control of the performance. Having the details in writing and money upfront takes care of many possible problems before they happen.

[SpaceNorman]

+100 to all the comments about being clear what you can and cannot/won't do in terms of material.

 

For weddings - we'll go so far as to learn 2 special songs (provided they're "doable" with our instrumentation and vocal capabilities). In all the years I've been doing this there have only been a couple of requests that we've turned down.

 

We have a hundred plus tunes in our setlist - and typically forward a copy to the folks hiring us and ask that they circle 20 favorites they definitely want to hear. Whatever comes back usually gives us a pretty good indication of which way our hosts' musical tastes lean (more toward rock, more toward the disco/dance stuff, etc.) - while still giving us roughly half of the night's material to appease other tastes.

[MuzikTeechur]

I'll play wedding gigs every weekend. I make about 4x what the bars pay. I can take a lot of crap for $600. $750 if I play the ceremony.

That said, we don't allow anyone to dictate what we play. We have a set list and we don't deviate unless there is a clear, compelling reason why. You do your best to satisfy the host/hostess, but as someone else stated: you play what you play.

Oh, and get paid up front. People are too drunk at the end of the night to chase them down and get a check out of them.

[ITGITC]

Used to get the lounge lizard stink off me by using those nights as my guitar practice night, after the gig was over.

 

Lounge Lizard Stink

 

http://www.associatedentertainment.com/aec/images/main/Larry-The-Lounge-Lizard.jpg

 

 

Makes ya wanna go play a few good ol' neighborhood bar gigs & hope the crowd doesn't notice where you've been.

 

Yeah.

 

Tom

 

 

 

[Legatoboy]

Phred,

 

Next time use knock out drops in his drink! Thats a funny story, the 'play only slow tunes/groping' part made me laugh outloud!

lb

[Phred]

Thanks everyone. Now that I got paid, the story is pretty funny. Wasn't too funny before that though...

[Phred]

One more thing - great stories in this thread - keep em coming...

[Blue JC]

Great story Phred. We always get 25% down to hold the date and the balance before the last set. We will not take the stage for the last set until we have been paid in full for the gig. That's pretty strong motivation and it's in black and white in our contract.

 

We also try to stick to our regular show but will learn special songs for $100 each with enough advance notice. That usually involves a simple chart and the most appropriate singer learning enough of the lead to bullshit their way through the song while we sight read it.

 

That $100 each adds up pretty quick and cuts way down on requests. Plus, I have every fake book known to man, audio is cheap on-line and lyrics are easy to find on-line - so it costs me practically nothing knock out these charts.

[Marzzz]

The value of a service decreases to zero once that service has been performed. I am not a gigging musician, but why don't you guys get paid 100% (or at least 50%) up front?

 

btw- In my business I have to deal with lawyers. We charge them 100% up front in secured funds. 100%. Lawyers....

[Phred]

Getting pay up front seems like a good idea, but as I said this is the way we have done it a hundred times before. (actually 92 times with this band (I just counted)).

 

I will consider doing this the next time. However most service situations I can think of do it in this order, Service first then pay. Biggest example being Restaurants.

 

In fact I am going through a back yard renovation, involving an above ground pool and a deck, and it seems as if most of the service part of this work is done this way. I had to pay for the pool up front, and for the deck I had to pay for materials up front. The rest (running gas line for heater, running electrical for pump and heater, installation of pool, building the deck, water truck to fill the pool, rerunning some of my inground sprinkler system around the pool... ) I paid for after the work was finished. No deposit even...

 

 

 

 

[MikeT156]

I usually use a booking agent for private affairs. He has a standard LEGAL contract he sends the principal(s) and he gets ALL the money before the gig. I usually have the $$ in hand a few days before I do the show. As stated earlier, once the gig is over and the service is rendered, it has no value. If you don't have a written contract with people, good luck collecting it.

 

I have my agent send the party one of my song lists. That way they can't come up to me after they've been drinking a lot and request something not on the list. Everything I do is sequenced and I certainly can't do that on the spot. I can play "Happy Birthday" and the like just on the piano, but that's were it stops. They get what I play.

 

Having the money upfront takes the "control" issue away from idiots that think they own you because they hired you and haven't paid you yet. If they won't sign a contract or give you at least a 50% deposit before the gig, I tell them to take a hike. They have no intention of paying anyway.

 

Mike T.

[C.J. Lewis]

Lesson learned...

 

I was in college @ the University of Wyoming, 1989. One of my roommates was getting married, and I told him I'd play for his wedding. At that time in my life, I was of the 'ahhh, everything works itself out in the end' attitude...which bit me squarely in the mod wheel.

 

So, I carted my Yamaha digital piano + PSS synthy thing in for the gig, played the wedding (including 2 soloists that I had practiced with earlier in the week), and did the ceremony. At the reception, I congratulated both the bride and groom (both friends of mine), and she nudges him to pay me. He looks at her and goes 'You don't pay the musicians - they're just...musicians!'

 

 

Uncomfortably, I stood there for a moment until the groom finally pulls out his checkbook...and writes me a check...

 

...for $10.

 

 

As I said...lesson learned. Now, brides have no music to walk down the isle with unless I a.) have a deposit, or b.) they're family or close friends, and my performance is their wedding present...agreed on beforehand. Ahhh, communication IS in fact paramount.

[MoodyBluesKeys]

In fact I am going through a back yard renovation, involving an above ground pool and a deck, and it seems as if most of the service part of this work is done this way. I had to pay for the pool up front, and for the deck I had to pay for materials up front. The rest (running gas line for heater, running electrical for pump and heater, installation of pool, building the deck, water truck to fill the pool, rerunning some of my inground sprinkler system around the pool... ) I paid for after the work was finished. No deposit even...

 

Legally, there is a big difference between the wedding gig and the install of the pool. The pool is being installed as an "attachment" to real estate. This means that ANY contractor on the job who is not paid can file a "mechanics lien" or "contractors lien" (different terms in different areas - means same thing though) with the county records office. This becomes an enforcable lien against the real property. So - they are pretty well assured of getting paid (most circumstances, unless one files bankruptcy).

 

The lien is enforcable, and stays with the real property until it is cleared by payment. Attorney fees and interest can also be added in most jurisdictions.

 

OTOH, the wedding gig - yes, you can file a claim in small claims court (or even in regular court). If the court gives judgment in your favor, then you face the problem of enforcing the judgment (which the court will NOT do for you). YOU have to locate legal assets from the non-paying party, and then get the sheriff to attach those assets. Lots of time spent, potentially high legal fees.

 

In the years that I spent repairing home and church organs and other musical equipment; if the equipment was repaired in the client's home or business location; I could always file the mechanics lien if other collection attempts failed (as long as I did it within the statuatory time period). If I worked on a client's equipment in my shop, once it left my shop, I was flat out of luck in the easy way of collecting.

 

Jim

 

[Phred]

Thanks Jim, that makes sense. CJ, it sounds like you didn't have a price agreed on at that gig. Ouch! Even though we don't collect up front, we always have an agreed upon price in email. Written contract would be better, but until now it has never been an issue.