Ross Brown Posted August 23, 2007 Author Share Posted August 23, 2007 20. When your band has played so wonderfully that you think the Fame Fairy is just about to whack you all on the head with her magic wand, no one in the audience will say a thing to you about it. When you all play so bad that half the patrons have been knocked off their feet by the suction coming from the stage, you will invariably be told, even by folks who aren't falling down drunk, how great you all played. I don't know why it's true, but I know from experience it is. Yes!! What is that?? "When I take a stroll down Jackass Lane it is usually to see someone that is already there" Mrs. Brown Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rizzo9247 Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 13. I disagree with number 5 If you disagree that naked chicks at a gig are not always a good thing, then you have no imagination. http://www.pyzamstuff.com/funpix/people/moshzilla.jpg Alright, you got me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moot Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 LOL!! Number 5 is GOSPEL!!More than once I have been flashed by females that I personally have found less than attractive. Not a good distraction. Very un-good actually. "He is to music what Stevie Wonder is to photography." getz76 I have nothing nice to say so . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EddiePlaysBass Posted August 24, 2007 Share Posted August 24, 2007 Always annoying is that one band, usually the first on a bill of three or more, that plays way over their set time, making your set 20-25 minutes tops when the tim comes to play. Thanks guys! The guys for whom we'll be opening tomorrow will totally love us then ! We have about 25 minutes of playing time, and about 20 minutes worth of material, which knowing us, we'll play in approximately 15 minutes :grin: "I'm a work in progress." Micky Barnes The Ross Brown Shirt World Tour Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross Brown Posted August 24, 2007 Author Share Posted August 24, 2007 Ha! It always seemes to speed up doesn't it? Have fun... "When I take a stroll down Jackass Lane it is usually to see someone that is already there" Mrs. Brown Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kramer Ferrington III. Posted August 24, 2007 Share Posted August 24, 2007 Ok, I don't know which point this comes under but here goes... n. No matter what style you play, afer the gig you'll get some drunken idiot that wants you to cooperate on his recording project/upcoming band that sounds nothing like what you play. And of course, all the drunken idiots in the world are just about to go on meteor-like music careers as they'll keep telling you for as long as you let them. For added points, they'll claim to be best mates with several famous music industry personalities and get all their names wrong. Band MySpace My snazzy t-shirt empire Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howlin Hanson Posted August 25, 2007 Share Posted August 25, 2007 21. When playing the class reunion (for free, of course) your set list goes into the toilet when the class social queen tries to get classmates to admit who has been married longest/most recently, the Breeder's Cup (most kids) etc. etc AND WON'T GIVE THE MIC BACK. Steve Hanson Building from the bottom up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kramer Ferrington III. Posted August 25, 2007 Share Posted August 25, 2007 21. when the class social queen tries to get classmates to admit who has been married longest/most recently, the Breeder's Cup (most kids) etc. etc AND WON'T GIVE THE MIC BACK. Band MySpace My snazzy t-shirt empire Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross Brown Posted August 27, 2007 Author Share Posted August 27, 2007 22. The less time you have to set up the more likely your collection of sound system cords is going to be a mess of spaghetti because the guy that packed them didn't wind them up any way that makes sense. Then someone will grab the other end of the cord you are trying to untangle, thinking that they are helping.... You will shoot them. "When I take a stroll down Jackass Lane it is usually to see someone that is already there" Mrs. Brown Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Bear Jew Posted August 27, 2007 Share Posted August 27, 2007 You're a gig. \m/ Erik "To fight and conquer in all your battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence consists of breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting." --Sun Tzu Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross Brown Posted August 27, 2007 Author Share Posted August 27, 2007 Woot "When I take a stroll down Jackass Lane it is usually to see someone that is already there" Mrs. Brown Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Capasso Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 17. Sometimes you will play a very cool song that everyone in the band loves to play and no one else will seem to have enjoyed it. You will hear the crickets chirping. This always intrigues me. I have two examples from my classic rock band. I forced the band to add the Stone's "Live With Me", which some fans know, but it has a great dance beat (and a bass/drum intro). We'd put it in the middle of a bunch of dance songs --- and cleared the floor when we played it. Dropped. We wanted to do some Creedence Clearwater Revival and thought Fortunate Son would go over really well, and threw Green River in as well. The crowd goes nuts for Green River and after 2 attempts we dropped Fortunate Son - crickets. One thing I've seen at gigs mirrors my business experience. Some people (band members) don't know how to take initiative or help out. I've had to give specific directions at times. And when they realize that you (the bass player) will direct the loading/setting up, they wait for direction. I've been lucky here - we've picked up our gig schedule in the last two years, and most of the guys have figured out what to do and when to help. We're a 7-piece, so set-up has to be a bit orchestrated or we get in each other's way. Tom www.stoneflyrocks.com Acoustic Color Be practical as well as generous in your ideals. Keep your eyes on the stars and keep your feet on the ground. - Theodore Roosevelt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeremy c Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 What number are we up to? The bassist and drummer will arrive an hour early to set up. The trumpet player will get there with five minutes to spare and then complain that he has to stand around waiting. Free download of my cd!. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross Brown Posted August 31, 2007 Author Share Posted August 31, 2007 What number are we up to? The bassist and drummer will arrive an hour early to set up. The trumpet player will get there with five minutes to spare and then complain that he has to stand around waiting. Yours is #24 Funny! Our singer once said that all he had to carry was a microphone. I told him he will have to sing loud because it won't work as well without the PA. For our gigs, drummer, bass and singer all show up way too early. We have an unwritten rule that we help each other carry until it is all loaded or unloaded. Works out nice. 25. Guitarist walks in, plops his amp down, tunes up and is ready. He is never late and is always prepared. Hard to complain. "When I take a stroll down Jackass Lane it is usually to see someone that is already there" Mrs. Brown Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross Brown Posted September 17, 2007 Author Share Posted September 17, 2007 26. If there is a guy with a big ugly boil on his eyelid outside of a biker bar that asks you to go in and tell Emily to get out here, it is because he is 1) on parole or 2) has a restraining order against him to stay out of the bar (or in this case, both). Be careful, he may have no sense of humor.... "When I take a stroll down Jackass Lane it is usually to see someone that is already there" Mrs. Brown Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
... Posted September 17, 2007 Share Posted September 17, 2007 You're a restraining order. 14: The less money you make on a gig, the more hours you will play and the more equipment you will need to bring. Sadly this is the most universally true of all these rules. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chad Thorne Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 LOL!! Number 5 is GOSPEL!! More than once I have been flashed by females that I personally have found less than attractive. Not a good distraction. Very un-good actually. In my experience the girls that you'd like to see come out of their shirts never do, and the ones you wouldn't want to see topless are right up front - drunk and topless...Woof! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DavidMPires Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 On my last gig, I left early from work got home got my stuff drove to the place had a pint and the singer comes in saying he forgot something. Guess what did he forgot???? The only bloody thing he needs to bring, his mic... We take PA, drum kit cabs cables extra cables stands, strings more cables picks etc.... and we didn't forgot anything. He forgets his bloody mic. sorry i'm just venting www.myspace.com/davidbassportugal "And then the magical unicorn will come prancing down the rainbow and we'll all join hands for a rousing chorus of Kumbaya." - by davio Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross Brown Posted September 18, 2007 Author Share Posted September 18, 2007 Bottomless is occuring at a much too great of a frequency too lately. What the heck...? I guess it would be too rude to spray air freshener in the area in front of me when they do this... The singer loves the attention... it is just funny to the rest of us. Like Chad said, it is never the ones you would like to see.... My wife tells me she thinks it is really a competition between girls/women and has nothing/little to do with the guys in the band. The game is to see who can get the most attention from the band/guys. It is about taking attention away from other women. "When I take a stroll down Jackass Lane it is usually to see someone that is already there" Mrs. Brown Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross Brown Posted September 18, 2007 Author Share Posted September 18, 2007 On my last gig, I left early from work got home got my stuff drove to the place had a pint and the singer comes in saying he forgot something. Guess what did he forgot???? The only bloody thing he needs to bring, his mic... We take PA, drum kit cabs cables extra cables stands, strings more cables picks etc.... and we didn't forgot anything. He forgets his bloody mic. sorry i'm just venting Our singer tried to get away with that. Now our deal is I help him carry "his" PA and he helps me with my big heavy bass amp and cabs. Fair enough. "When I take a stroll down Jackass Lane it is usually to see someone that is already there" Mrs. Brown Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DavidMPires Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 My singer loves the love of the girls even if they are 18 and ugly or 60 and pretty. He's the proper show of type of thing. Guess that's why I am starting another band www.myspace.com/davidbassportugal "And then the magical unicorn will come prancing down the rainbow and we'll all join hands for a rousing chorus of Kumbaya." - by davio Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gismo Recording Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 On my last gig, I left early from work got home got my stuff drove to the place had a pint and the singer comes in saying he forgot something. Guess what did he forgot???? The only bloody thing he needs to bring, his mic... We take PA, drum kit cabs cables extra cables stands, strings more cables picks etc.... and we didn't forgot anything. He forgets his bloody mic. sorry i'm just venting At one gig of mine the drummer got his kit set up and then realized he had forgotten his sticks. Fortunately it wasn't that far from his house and he was able run home and get them and get back in time to start on time. Ken Denny Gismo Recording So Cliché Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
... Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 In my experience the girls that you'd like to see come out of their shirts never do, and the ones you wouldn't want to see topless are right up front - drunk and topless...Woof! You need to start playing better bars/clubs my friend. This Saturday night for instance I'm playing at one of the big 'meat market' places in the greater Seattle area. More often times than not it's like a scene out of "Girls Gone Wild" in there by the end of the night. And they pay me for this stuff. Fantastic. ...and before I forget: you're a experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul K Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 The trumpet player will get there with five minutes to spare and then complain that he has to stand around waiting. ....He will also ask why his microphone isn't set up yet, and will neglect to bring the appropriate mutes. After the gig, he will be the first to split the scene but not until after payday. GOes for sax players also, except for the mute part. Things are just the way they are, and they're only going to get worse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross Brown Posted November 18, 2007 Author Share Posted November 18, 2007 27. Someone may come up to you at 2:00am, after a good night's playing and ask if you are setting up or tearing down. (I didn't know what to say.....) 28. (Repeat) When the drummer stops, the song is over.... "When I take a stroll down Jackass Lane it is usually to see someone that is already there" Mrs. Brown Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross Brown Posted January 28, 2008 Author Share Posted January 28, 2008 29. You eventually get to the point in which, based on the reaction to songs in your first set, you change the set list for the second and third set and the whole night just grooves. Felt like we are really starting to gel professionally. We played a bar that just did not appreciate the straight blues stuff. Took most of it out and added classic rock songs. Packed the dance floor all night. 30. Every so often the guy paying you will not remember the same agreed upon price as you. Keep good notes and don't blink. 31. If the drummer stops, the songs is over (recurring, annoying problem. ~ 1 song a night). "When I take a stroll down Jackass Lane it is usually to see someone that is already there" Mrs. Brown Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric VB Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 18. You will feel important on songs that start without bass. ie just drums and guitar, then after a few (or more) measures the bassline starts. (Think Allman Brothers. "One Way Out") To me, is is as close as I come to showing off. The whole sound changes when the bass starts. Makes up for those other songs in which less is more.... Actually I feel more important on the songs that start with bass only. Sometimes I will announce these special events to the audience: "They don't let me start many songs by myself, but this is one of them." Jefferson Airplane's "White Rabbit", with plenty of slap-them-in-the-face mids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric VB Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 7. Guitar solos are too long right at the point in which they seem too long. This occurs to the bass player about five minutes before it occurs to the guitarist. Sometimes it occurs to the drummer long before that. He may just stop playing.Our drummer used pre-emptive tactics at one gig. She stopped playing just before the guitar solo started. Classic! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kramer Ferrington III. Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 7. Guitar solos are too long right at the point in which they seem too long. This occurs to the bass player about five minutes before it occurs to the guitarist. Sometimes it occurs to the drummer long before that. He may just stop playing.Our drummer used pre-emptive tactics at one gig. She stopped playing just before the guitar solo started. Classic! We've got a song that's got a great groove, but we can't figure out how to end it. So we've bought an old fashioned alarm clock with the bells on top. We're going to set the alarm clock and finish the song when it rings. Maybe get the audience to pick a number from 1 to 10, and make that the song length in minutes. Anything under four doesn't count! Band MySpace My snazzy t-shirt empire Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeremy c Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 We've got a song that's got a great groove, but we can't figure out how to end it. So we've bought an old fashioned alarm clock with the bells on top. We're going to set the alarm clock and finish the song when it rings. Maybe get the audience to pick a number from 1 to 10, and make that the song length in minutes. Anything under four doesn't count! I love that idea! Free download of my cd!. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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