Dave Horne Posted April 28, 2007 Share Posted April 28, 2007 I just got in from a job. Over here they make a big deal about asparagus and I played an asparagus evening at a well known hotel. They have asparagus appetizers, asparagus soup, the main course - asparagus and for desert, you can figure this one out for yourself. A waitress walks by and offers me asparagus ice cream and I take it. I honestly thought she was joking but it really was asparagus ice cream. I'm not planning on investing any money in this. I had a very minor incident at the end of the job. The last table to leave stops by the piano and the woman who also happens to play the piano mentions that she did not recognize the tunes I was playing. I just keep smiling. She's older than I by ten years or so and the tunes I play are written by George Gershwin (and his lovely sister Ira), Cole Porter, Richard Rodgers, Hoagy Carmichael ... you get the idea. I don't know what cost more effort, swallowing asparagus ice cream or smiling at clueless customers. Had my tongue been sharpened I would have politely educated her but the ice cream dulled any edge I might have had. No guitarists were harmed during the making of this message. In general, harmonic complexity is inversely proportional to the ratio between chording and non-chording instruments. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Schmieder Posted April 28, 2007 Share Posted April 28, 2007 Too bad it wasn't any good; I find the concept intriguing and expected it might actually taste delicious. After all, garlic ice cream is wonderful (like steamed garlic, it loses much of its pungency, and is very soothing on the throat). Eugenio Upright, 60th Anniversary P-Bass, USA Geddy Lee J-Bass, Yamaha BBP35, D'angelico SS Bari, EXL1, Select Strat, 70th Anniversary Esquire, LP 57, Eastman T486, T64, Ibanez PM2, Hammond XK4, Moog Voyager Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
linwood Posted April 28, 2007 Share Posted April 28, 2007 The asparagus circuit's a bitch. Maybe you should have sung a few and changed the lyrics around to fit the gig. Stuff like.... "Asparagus" by the 5th Dimension. Easy to love Asparagus.... I get a Kick out of .... Anything Goes ...with... almost forgot....The Love Theme from Asparagus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VLH Posted April 29, 2007 Share Posted April 29, 2007 Did you play "Asparagus" from "Hair"? ...you know: This is the dawning of the Age of Asparagus Age of Asparagus A Spar A Gus A Spar A Gus... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
linwood Posted April 29, 2007 Share Posted April 29, 2007 Yea....that's the tune I was talking about. I can see me now..... a green tux that's a wee bit small, white shoes,comb over....the lights fade up and from out of the darkness I cry......'When the spoon...." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Schmieder Posted April 29, 2007 Share Posted April 29, 2007 I hear Peter Gabriel's digging out his old wardrobe lately... perhaps the Giant Hogweed costume would do? Eugenio Upright, 60th Anniversary P-Bass, USA Geddy Lee J-Bass, Yamaha BBP35, D'angelico SS Bari, EXL1, Select Strat, 70th Anniversary Esquire, LP 57, Eastman T486, T64, Ibanez PM2, Hammond XK4, Moog Voyager Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eric Posted April 29, 2007 Share Posted April 29, 2007 Asparagus makes my pee smelly funny. I really like to eat it, but never can escape the fumes in the bathroom for about a day after scarfing down some good asparagus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilverDragonSoun Posted April 29, 2007 Share Posted April 29, 2007 Asparagus makes my pee smelly funny. I really like to eat it, but never can escape the fumes in the bathroom for about a day after scarfing down some good asparagus. The wonders of food. The green pee stinks! Begin the day with a friendly voice A companion, unobtrusive - Rush Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kanker. Posted April 29, 2007 Share Posted April 29, 2007 Asparagus makes my pee smelly funny. I really like to eat it, but never can escape the fumes in the bathroom for about a day after scarfing down some good asparagus. Getting to know you..... A ROMpler is just a polyphonic turntable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gangsu Posted April 29, 2007 Share Posted April 29, 2007 What an image. It's de-lightful, it's de-licious, It's De-Lovely. "........! Try to make It..REAL! compared to what? ! ! ! " - BOPBEEPER Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Muscara Posted April 29, 2007 Share Posted April 29, 2007 Asparagus makes my pee smell funny. When I saw the subject of this thread, I was going to post the Exact Same Thing. I don't think I could stand if ice cream made me do that. Dave, it's amazing what people will say out loud sometimes, isn't it? "I'm so crazy, I don't know this is impossible! Hoo hoo!" - Daffy Duck "The good news is that once you start piano you never have to worry about getting laid again. More time to practice!" - MOI Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marzzz Posted April 29, 2007 Share Posted April 29, 2007 Sister Ira????? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Horne Posted April 29, 2007 Author Share Posted April 29, 2007 .... an old joke. I first heard that from my high school music teacher. No guitarists were harmed during the making of this message. In general, harmonic complexity is inversely proportional to the ratio between chording and non-chording instruments. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RABid Posted April 30, 2007 Share Posted April 30, 2007 Aspargus ice cream sounds like something they make on Iron Cheif America. Some of the things they run through the ice cream maker maked me cringe. Robert This post edited for speling. My Sweetwater Gear Exchange Page Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kad Posted April 30, 2007 Share Posted April 30, 2007 I think asparagus is the most heinous vegetable on the face of the earth. I would rather eat tree bark. I suppose it's an aquired taste... Reality is like the sun - you can block it out for a time but it ain't goin' away... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stepay Posted April 30, 2007 Share Posted April 30, 2007 I think asparagus is the most heinous vegetable on the face of the earth. I would rather eat tree bark. I suppose it's an aquired taste... Food likes and dislikes is one of the most subjective things there can possibly be. I actually LOVE asparagus, provided it was picked at the right time (has to be tender) and cooked right. I love it just by itself or with some butter or even better yet, cooked on the grill wrapped by a piece of bacon and held together with toothpicks. As far as the award for the most heinous vegetable goes, for me it is a tossup between eggplant and okra. Whenever I mention that, I always hear "you haven't had it the way my grandmother makes it" or some such noise. I've had both cooked every possible way, and I hate it each time. I suspect some feel that way about asparagus which is why I never try to convince someone otherwise. Also, peeps are another food hate of mine that many seem to like. Steve (Stevie Ray) "Do the chickens have large talons?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gismo Recording Posted April 30, 2007 Share Posted April 30, 2007 Asparagus is good but it does make your pee smell funny. I like most vegetables, except for beets and turnips. But turnip greens are great. Ken Denny Gismo Recording So Cliché Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Schmieder Posted April 30, 2007 Share Posted April 30, 2007 Tree bark is what kept the Ukrainians and Russians alive during WW II, and is how they sat out the cold winter under occupation and eventually outlasted their Nazi invaders. There is also a popular drink or two made from various tree barks. Peanut butter was a hard sell originally. Yet now we take it for granted and don't think about how "weird" it is. Well, at least most of us don't :-). Eugenio Upright, 60th Anniversary P-Bass, USA Geddy Lee J-Bass, Yamaha BBP35, D'angelico SS Bari, EXL1, Select Strat, 70th Anniversary Esquire, LP 57, Eastman T486, T64, Ibanez PM2, Hammond XK4, Moog Voyager Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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