OT: Hard times

[ekoldr]

My best friend found out recently that his father died. His parents got divorced before he left the Philipines which was at a very young age and had only seen his father a few times since then. He had been saving his money to go to the Philipines to see his father to talk about alot of things, and he never got the chance. Even though I am not religious, my thoughts and heart are with him, I love you kuya

 

-Turo

[A String]

That sucks. Pass along our best.

[S. Yeti Bigfoot, Esq.]

That's sad. I hope things work out for him.

 

Kinda makes you appreciate your own parents, huh?

[Tedster]

It's always good to try to make the most out of each moment we're given. One never knows how many "moments" we have left.

 

Also good to never wait until "some other time". "Some other time" is now.

 

My mom was a child of the depression. Like many who grew up in that era, she was a pennypincher to a fault. She always wanted to see the world, to travel, but she was always saving, saving, saving.

 

She moved in with us in 1996. Her health wasn't good. Soon she was hospitalized with kidney failure. Her dreams of seeing the world never materialized. Even though she was alive, her dialysis schedule wouldn't let her travel. She passed away in Dec. 2000.

 

I need to take my own advice. All that stuff we've been putting off...we all need to do it. Now.

[ekoldr]

Hey I'm sorry to hear about that buddy, I know I have a better appreciation for my parents, it's too bad it took someone else to die for me to realize it.

[S. Yeti Bigfoot, Esq.]

Originally posted by ekoldr:

Hey I'm sorry to hear about that buddy, I know I have a better appreciation for my parents, it's too bad it took someone else to die for me to realize it.

Hey...at least you realized it. That's a sure sign of maturity sneaking up on you...

 

It's good that you are sticking by your buddy during this time, too...he needs you.

[Ol Boy Rivers]

Yeah man. Family deaths are allways a bad thing. Matters not if it was your sister or the aunt that allways sqeezed your face. Makes you think about the mother or father you hate so much more then some people want to eh? Wize man once said " Family will be there in the end, Not relitives " Which is just one more thing to think about. When you get down to the Nitty Gritty of it, Your mother will allways be your mother, Your father your father, But they may not be the " Mom " And " Dad " So to say. Im not sure how relivant it is to it..Anywho man. Be there for the guy, Hard times are never easy.

[Dr. Ellwood]

I was 33 years old before I could tell my dad I loved him. I am so glad I did and I remember his face when I told him he just shook my hand and didn't say anything then. About a week later when we where working on building some PA cabinets and he was showing me how, we took a break and he said he loved me too and hugged me and cried, I will never forget how good that felt. Don't forget you will always be glad if you do, yes it's understood I know but saying the words makes all the difference!

[Ol Boy Rivers]

We should write a novel..." Loving your parents for dummys " ( Sorry, Had to add a little bit of humor in all the gloom )

[The Geoff]

My deepest sympathies to your friend. I too lost my father before I could even make contact with him. They were divorced when I was 3.

 

Seemingly he was a decent guy once, but came back from WWII badly damaged (mentally).

 

Geoff

[ekoldr]

Originally posted by Ol' Boy Rivers:

We should write a novel..." Loving your parents for dummys " ( Sorry, Had to add a little bit of humor in all the gloom )

No worries man I bet he'd love a laugh right now.

 

I think the hardest thing for me is seeing him try and play things off like it's not bothering him. To see him force a smile when he doesn't even have enough strength to do so. I know that's how it will be, it always has. Rino's the strong one, he's the leader, he makes everyone else feel better. But what happens when your leader falls? What happens when you need to cheer up the one who always made you feel better? I guess I'll have to try. Rino is one of the best people i know, selfless, caring, wise. He knows everything... I just hope everything will be ok.

[Junior 1]

My dad left when I was 4 in 1955. Didn't meet him till I was 22. Being a child of the sixties, Ive always been forgiving, but the guy just couldn't stop saying he was sorry whenever I saw him. We saw each other till he passed away and I was even able to get my brother and sister to see him before he died. He was never there for me, but seeing what he was going through because of the choice he made has made me a better dad. All things have a purpose.

[JeffBecksroadie]

Well said ellwood. I haven't really told my Dad.

Like you said, it's implied, but thats about it.

He is 66 and his health is starting to decline. I'll be 38 on the 14th, so it's about time. Anyone

can be taken at anytime.....anyone of us,anytime.

[picker]

One of the great blessings of my life was that I was able to bury the hatchet with my father before he passed. He was mean and abusive, and I hated his guts for a very long time. But eventually, I found out the reasons he was as driven as he was, and found a way to forgive and accept him. It was a blessing because resentment and unforgiveness will poison your life, and make everything you touch turn to misery. I don't carry around all the resentment and pain anymore, and I thank God for that.

[Gifthorse]

I have told my Dad I loved him like 5 years ago. I also told my Mom that. They know, but it is always nice to hear it.

 

My Dad is fading. He was diagnosed with Altzheimers but then they changed it cuz they really don't know. No stem cell research I guess, like I care about an embryo with no awareness compared to my Dad.

 

My Mom thinks he had a stroke during his knee replacement giving him brain damage. I believe her over the doctors because they really don't give a shit, and--like they would admit that. She said when he came home he was never the same. He has had like 3 strokes total, he was fine until the 3rd.

 

She is probably more brilliant than most of the doctors. She taught herself classical piano by ear (can you imagine that? The rachmoninoff preludes?), and was from a poor family during the depression. She was noticed and given an opportunity to study with 2 of the top teachers in the world in NY. She also cares about people, plus she is an intellectual giant. The doctor my Dad saw couldn't get out of there fast enough. Did a 20 minute questionare in 5 minutes. I would like to shake him against a wall while I look at his eyes. Probably busy fitting people in his schedule to cash in on their insurance.

 

He was rude to my parents too when my Mom tried to explain my Dad's nervousness to the questionaire. There is no heart in our medical system. It is all about cashing in on insurance and avoiding lawsuits.

 

But my point originally was not to take your family for granted. People who let petty differences get in the way are just paving the way for an emptiness later on when those people are gone.