Jeff Klopmeyer Posted October 22, 2001 Share Posted October 22, 2001 What ever you do, do [b]not[/b] go to the bathroom on October 28th. CIA intelligence reports that a major plot is planned for that day. Anyone who takes a poop on the 28th will be [i]bitten on the ass by an alligator[/i]. Reports indicate that organized groups of Taliban alligators are planning to rise up into unsuspecting Americans' toilet bowls and bite them when they are doing their dirty business. I usually don't write posts like this, but I personally got this information from a reliable source. It came from a friend of a friend whose cousin is dating this girl whose brother knows this guy whose wife knows this lady whose husband buys hotdogs from this guy who knows a shoeshine guy who shines the shoes of a mailroom worker who has a friend who's drug dealer sells drugs to another mailroom worker who works in the CIA building. He apparently overheard two guys talking in the bathroom about alligators and came to the conclusion that we are going to be attacked. So it must be true. Protect your ass...no pooping on 10/28! You heard it here first! 10/28/01 = Give Poop No Chance Day. Remember! - Jeff Marketing Communications for MI/Pro Audio My solo music and stuff They Stole My Crayon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valkyrie Sound Posted October 22, 2001 Share Posted October 22, 2001 Umm... Jeff? Honey? Did you forget your medication this morning? Valky [img]http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif[/img] Valkyrie Sound: http://www.vsoundinc.com Now at TSUTAYA USA: http://www.tsutayausa.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeff Klopmeyer Posted October 22, 2001 Author Share Posted October 22, 2001 Oh damn. I knew I was feeling weird. Hang on... [i]gulp[/i] Okay, better now. Thanks Valky...what would I do without you? Wait, I know what I would do...[i]get my ass bitten off my a Taliban alligator!!![/i] AAAAAARRRRGGGHHH!!! My Ass! My precious ass! [img]http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/wink.gif[/img] - Jeff Marketing Communications for MI/Pro Audio My solo music and stuff They Stole My Crayon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Botch. Posted October 22, 2001 Share Posted October 22, 2001 Shows how much YOU know!! Afghanistan only has crocodiles. Crikey!! [img]http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif[/img] Botch "Eccentric language often is symptomatic of peculiar thinking" - George Will www.puddlestone.net Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tedster Posted October 23, 2001 Share Posted October 23, 2001 HAHAHA!! Read that one aloud to my co-workers...they all cracked up... Ted "Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fletcher Posted October 23, 2001 Share Posted October 23, 2001 [quote]Originally posted by Tedster: [b]HAHAHA!! Read that one aloud to my co-workers...they all cracked up...[/b][/quote] You need to find a better place to work...those people are [b]way[/b] too easily amused. ------------------ Fletcher Mercenary Audio http://www.mercenary.com Or being redundant to here at: [url=http://prosoundweb.com/recpit]prosoundweb.com/recpit[/url] Fletcher Mercenary Audio Roscoe Ambel once said: Pro-Tools is to audio what fluorescent is to light Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D. Gauss Posted October 23, 2001 Share Posted October 23, 2001 that whole warning is full of shit. -d. gauss Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Philip OKeefe Posted October 23, 2001 Share Posted October 23, 2001 [quote]Originally posted by Jeff, TASCAM Guy: [b]What ever you do, do [b]not[/b] go to the bathroom on October 28th. CIA intelligence reports that a major plot is planned for that day. Anyone who takes a poop on the 28th will be [i]bitten on the ass by an alligator[/i]. Reports indicate that organized groups of Taliban alligators are planning to rise up into unsuspecting Americans' toilet bowls and bite them when they are doing their dirty business. - Jeff[/B][/quote] So let's strike back! Let's all surprise those Taliban crocs / 'gators (whatever they are...) when THEY least expect it! Here's my plan: 1. Drop drawers and flash "moon" over bowl to lure croc / gator into range. 2. Light Cherry Bomb. Count to two... 3. Flush Cherry Bomb. 4. Call plumber to clean up mess. [img]http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/wink.gif[/img] Phil O'Keefe Sound Sanctuary Recording Riverside CA http://members.aol.com/ssanctuary/index.html email: pokeefe777@msn.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
surfjunkie Posted October 23, 2001 Share Posted October 23, 2001 i got that same info via email, so it must be true. i've also received warnings about october 24-27. 29 & 30 (but not halloween), most of november, and i've sealed my chimney as suggested by [i]OsamaBinSanta.com[/i]. regarding the 28th: afghan 'gators have beards too, so if you feel a tickle, jump! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michael saulnier Posted October 23, 2001 Share Posted October 23, 2001 [quote]Originally posted by Fletcher@mercenary.com: You need to find a better place to work...those people are [b]way[/b] too easily amused. [/quote] Ted's a meteorologist. For the Gov't. 'Nuff said. [img]http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif[/img] guitplayer I'm still "guitplayer"! Check out my music if you like... http://www.michaelsaulnier.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lwilliam Posted October 23, 2001 Share Posted October 23, 2001 Whew! I'm glad I found out. OK...I'm ordering a porta-potty installed in my back yard before they're all gone... I've placed my order. Here's where to get 'em: http://www.packinpotty.com/portable-toilet.html ------------------ Larry W. Larry W. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dylan Posted October 23, 2001 Share Posted October 23, 2001 You think that gators are scary, try rats! Yup, while living in my 1st apartment in Boston I found a rat swimming around in my crapper once. Thankfully, I found him before trying to use the toilet! No rats since then, which is good, as it took me a while before I could sit on the damn thing without looking first! Ah, the college years... -Dylan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FoxTick Posted October 23, 2001 Share Posted October 23, 2001 ill be sure to eat a bunch of polish suasage chili dogs with extra kraut and onions. them 'taligators' will keel over when they smell the 'final mix' of that meal [img]http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif[/img] let's show them what chemical warfare is all about. SactoG 0096 2251 2110 8105 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valkyrie Sound Posted October 23, 2001 Share Posted October 23, 2001 [quote]Originally posted by Jeff, TASCAM Guy: [b]Oh damn. I knew I was feeling weird. Hang on... [i]gulp[/i][/b][/quote] Good boy... that's it....open the hanger...here comes the airplane.....! [img]http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif[/img] [quote]Okay, better now. Thanks Valky...what would I do without you?[/B][/quote] Suffer. [img]http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif[/img] [quote]Wait, I know what I would do...[i]get my ass bitten off my a Taliban alligator!!![/i][/B][/quote] Damn... I thought your problems were curable. Now I know you're so sick no one can help you! [quote]AAAAAARRRRGGGHHH!!! My Ass! My precious ass! [img]http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/wink.gif[/img] [/B][/quote] Pity.... 'tis a fine ass indeed! [img]http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif[/img] Valky ------------------ Valkyrie Sound www.vsoundinc.com Valkyrie Sound: http://www.vsoundinc.com Now at TSUTAYA USA: http://www.tsutayausa.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anderton Posted October 23, 2001 Share Posted October 23, 2001 This matches exactly with Nostradamus, Quattrain 149: [i]And in the quarters three of the new century No safety in elimination The king is frustrated. Animals of green skin Learn the way of the fish With darkness as the result.[/i] It's amazing how those ancient writings have such resonance today! Speaking of K-Mart mysticism...hey, did you all hear about the massive lawsuit against Miss Cleo's Psychic Hot Line? Allegedly her telephone answerers were reading from someone else's book for their answes. Craig Anderton Educational site: http://www.craiganderton.org Music: http://www.youtube.com/thecraiganderton Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/craig_anderton Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S_Gould Posted October 23, 2001 Share Posted October 23, 2001 It must be true 'cause 10/28 is 1+0+2+8= 11 !!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Sayers Posted October 23, 2001 Share Posted October 23, 2001 I've been away for a few months but I wonder if you've heard this suggestion. [img]http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/smile.gif[/img] Killing Bin Larden will only create a martyr whilst holding him prisoner will inspire his comrades to take hostages to demand his release. Therefore lets do neither and let the special forces covertly capture him, fly him to a hospital and have surgeons quickly perform a complete sex change operation. The we return him to Afganistan to live as a woman under the Taliban. cheers John Studio Design Forum Studios Under Construction Home Page Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valkyrie Sound Posted October 23, 2001 Share Posted October 23, 2001 [quote]Originally posted by John Sayers: [b] The we return him to Afganistan to live as a woman under the Taliban. [/b][/quote] I LIKE IT! [img]http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif[/img] Valkyrie Sound: http://www.vsoundinc.com Now at TSUTAYA USA: http://www.tsutayausa.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tedster Posted October 23, 2001 Share Posted October 23, 2001 Only after making him work as a dancer at some female impersonator club... "Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
not coaster MODERATOR Posted October 23, 2001 Share Posted October 23, 2001 Oh Great.... More scary monsters to worry about. Another sleepless nite coming up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dansouth Posted October 23, 2001 Share Posted October 23, 2001 Don't scoff - Jeff's right! Someone in my office has a friend who's sister works for a woman who used to be a nun but now works for the IRS, and her brother, who coincidentally is a fire fighter, said that his best friend, who works for the post office in Trenton, New Jersey, is married to a transexual who used to be a pilot for United Airlines, and one of his/her old flight attendant friends said that HER friend, who lives in Boca Raton, Florida used to date a man who looked vaguely Middle Eastern and actually went out to the Everglades one time to photograph alligators. ALLIGATORS!! Do you see the connection? This is TOTALLY TRUE. Do NOT go to the bathroom on October 28th!!! Take a whiz in the yard if you have to. If you live in an urban area, make sure you have a couple of spare Gatorade bottles to catch your excess fluids. Gatorade bottles are the best defense against alligator terrorism, because Gatorade was developed in Florida for the Gator Bowl. An whatever you do, if you take a dump in the woods, don't wipe with poison ivy. It's all part of the same conspiracy. I heard about it this morning on an AM radio talk show. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mats Olsson. Posted October 23, 2001 Share Posted October 23, 2001 Talligators? http://www.lexam.net/peter/carnut/man.gif What do we want? Procrastination! When do we want it? Later! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anderton Posted October 23, 2001 Share Posted October 23, 2001 <> But I live in Florida, so taking a whiz in the yard actually increases the odds of alligator exposure. How diabolical! Is no place safe? Craig Anderton Educational site: http://www.craiganderton.org Music: http://www.youtube.com/thecraiganderton Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/craig_anderton Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FoxTick Posted October 24, 2001 Share Posted October 24, 2001 [quote]Originally posted by mats.olsson@rockfile.se: [b]Talligators?[/b][/quote] taligators, not to be confused with [url=http://www.talligators.org]talligators[/url] , reptiles in black turbans with long beards. no, not bin dickweed himself albeit they are similar in appearance. [img]http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif[/img] 0096 2251 2110 8105 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dansouth Posted October 29, 2001 Share Posted October 29, 2001 Of course, the "talligators" had to pick the only 25-hour day of the year! If I can just hold on until midnight... :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FoxTick Posted October 29, 2001 Share Posted October 29, 2001 SactoG log entry for 10-28-01: i couldn't hold on, that big prime rib dinner i had the night before......ohhhhhh maaaannnn. i had to let one go - it was too painful to hold on. i had no choice but to drop some freinds off at the pool :D sitting there with one hand gripping the towel rack and the other clenched onto the latest issue of EQ (hoping no 'taligators' make their way up to the second floor bathroom), i dropped a bomb so impressive, Colon Powell would be proud. as i flushed, i saluted and i said "on behalf of the USA, Osama, this turds for you!!" swlooooshhhhh....chug chug chlug... a very relieved, SactoG 0096 2251 2110 8105 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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