[OT: a bit a humor, chime in with others!]

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

I'd heard this one as:

 

Why is it a single cigarette butt can start a forest fire, but I can't start my hibachi with a gallon of gasoline?

[Craziest thing ever said to you at a gig]

http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=519

 

[Craziest thing ever said to you at a gig]

Originally posted by LesMizzell:

I was playing with a pretty slamming 8 piece funk group. We got booked for the Jr/Sr for a private school in Orangeburg, SC (School isn't there anymore). We showed up, set up the gear, and did our sound check. We hit the stage right on time - and before we played our first note the headmaster of the school comes up, points at our drummer and ask "What's that black guy doing up there?"

 

"Playing the funkiest drums you're gonna hear this year. Why?"

 

"Sorry, this is a private all-white school. We don't allow any blacks."

 

"You hired us. You had the press kit. These kids don't care, they just want to dance. What's the problem?"

 

"Sorry, you're not playing."

 

"That's just wrong. You're going to ruin this Jr/Sr because *you've* got a problem? Look at the kids out there. They're ready to get down! Besides, we've got a contract with your signature on it that says you're paying $2500. You're not going to stiff us. We've got legal grounds here if you want to push this. Just let us do the gig. Won't be any problems."

 

"I'll pay. Just get the hell out of my school". ... and he hands us an envelope with our cash in it as we start packing.

 

The students almost rioted.

 

What an idiot.

That one is just about making me sick. "Just about" only because I've seen it before myself.

[Craziest thing ever said to you at a gig]

The best story I can provide is when I got flashed while singing karaoke.

 

Sorry.

[Dave Bryce: I need some advice!]

Oh, man! Where was I when all the fun stuff was happening?