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delirium

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Posts posted by delirium

  1. 2008 Tax Code

     

     

    The only thing that the IRS has not taxed yet is the male penis.

    This is due to the fact that 69% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 10% of the time it is hard up, 20% of the time it is pissed off and 1% of the time it is in the hole. On top of that, it has two dependents and they are both nuts!

     

    HOWEVER, effective January 1st, 2008, the penis will now be taxed according to size:

     

    The brackets are as follows:

     

    10 - 12'' Luxury Tax $300.00

    8 - 10'' Pole Tax $250.00

    5 - 8'' Privilege Tax $150.00

    3 - 5'' Nuisance Tax $30.00

     

    Males exceeding 12'' must file capital gains.

     

    Anyone under 4'' is eligible for a tax refund.

     

     

    PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION

     

    :grin:

    good to be a woman after all :grin:

  2. A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello. He's rather taken a back because he can't place where he knows her from.

     

    So he says, "Do you know me?" To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids."

     

    Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and he says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???"

     

    She looks into his eyes and says calmly, "No, I'm your son's teacher."

     

     

    :grin: :grin: :grin:

     

    exact same thing happened to me but it was wet carrot...

     

    :grin:

     

     

     

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