Trill
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Posts posted by Trill
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Okay here is a rough draft of a jazz organ type song I wrote for my band ,It is not a mastered recording It has afew rough spots, but it got the idea across to my mates Greg on the Web
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Midlife :thu:thanks for the laugh
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No surprise. I always suspected their was a mathematical forumla to prove it.
But how do we prove that the real problem with women is that they have all the http://www.timetunnelmusic.com/Emoticons/cattrim2.jpg ?
Some brave soul actually shaved that cat
I tried to give my cat a pill and nearly got shredded. -
[font:Comic Sans MS] Jazz Mathmatics[/font]
1. If x is the number of chord changes in a tune, and y is the tempo at
which it is played, then xy = factor by which a guitarist will turn down
his amp.
2. # (notes/measure played by a saxophonist on a ballad) is proportional
to # (drinks he has consumed).
3. 4 + 4.125 + 4 + 3.875 + 4 + 4.667 + 4 + (x, where x is unknown) = 1
chorus trading with the drummer.
4. (2 + 5 + 1) x (# of freshman college jazz students, internationally)
= Annual income of Jamie Abersold, in dollars.
5. Infinity = (3 + 6 + 2 + 5) + (3 + 6 + 2 + 5) + (3 + 6 + 2 + 5) ....
6. 5/4 + 7/4 + 11/4 = drummer's gig.
7. If (# of drinks consumed, per musician) > (# of drinks comped by
club), then unrest will prevail unless (cost per drink) < 1/20 (pay for
gig).
8. 1 up tempo tune + 1 rushing drummer + x (double lattes) = x (fights
among horn players to solo first).
9. 1 ballad + 1 dragging drummer + x(Percocets) = 1 cleared house, where
x is proportional to the speed at which the room empties.
10. 2 (diddles) = paradiddle
11. Jam session + eighth -note rest = missed opportunity.
12. Jam session + (quarter note rest or greater) = band on break.
13. {(New + York) squared - (NewNew + YorkYork + YorkNew) + New York +
2(Ride + Sally) - Sally} divided by (less than five seconds) = medley
from hell.
14. (1/vocalist's experience in years) x (#number of beats per measure)
x 32 = # of unintended modulations + skipped beats, per chorus.
15. If x = piano's deviance from being in tune, y volume level of
drummer, z = length of gig, and d = number of drinks consumed by pianist
on break, then (d) (xyz/pay of the gig in dollars) predicts the
probability of pianist urinating in the instrument.
16. "Vow of Poverty" theorem: If # people in audience < # of musicians
on bandstand, then pay per musician < one individual cover charge.
17. "Bass" theorem: A musician's IQ is inversely proportional to the
size of his/her instrument, and directly related to the register of the
instrument.
18. "Rule of One" theorem: (Universe of jazz vocalists) v (# of jazz
vocalists who sing " Summertime") = 1 = rank of "Summertime" among
tunes most despised by instrumentalists.
19. "Devil's Music" theorem: Smooth Jazz = square root of all evil.
20. "Two Americas" Buffet theorem: Fresh salmon/flaccid spanakopita +
prime rib/limp egg rolls + jumbo shrimp/soggy chicken fingers = high
society gig/Elks club gig.
21. How much should a gig pay, based on the following conditions: drive
90 miles outside of town through pouring rain; set up two hours in
advance; load in through slimy kitchen accessed by treacherous outdoor
staircase; and play four hours of continuous crappy dance favorites for
drunk rich people? Would you take it for ½ that much? After you bid on
the above gig for 1/3 your worth, a college student offers to play the
same gig for ½ as much. You are 12 times as good as him, but ½ as good
-looking. The client has a tin ear. Who will get the job? Why do you
bother practicing?
22. If a trumpet player counts off a tune in 4/4 time at mm = 180, and
the drummer slows it down at a constant rate of deceleration over 8
measures to mm = 150, does the pianist still suck?
23. If a bassist plays a root, a pianist superimposes a major seventh
chord built on the fifth, and a saxophonist plays the 13th, will
attractive women notice? Will the drummer?
24. If a successful attorney earns 3x as much as a successful musician,
but the musician believes his work is 4x as fulfilling, who actually has
larger genetalia?
25. Your trio is set up in a perfect equilateral triangle. A singer
sets up exactly in the middle. Will the three of you be divided against
the singer or against one another?
26. If (% of Americans who like jazz) = (% of Americans who like chain
saw sculptures), what is America's most important indigenous art form?
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Cool Stuff TinderArtsOriginally posted by TinderArts:Here are 4 tunes from my band's first gig on our myspace site (link below).
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http://worldofwonder.net/image1/devo3point0.jpg
Devo?
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Midlife let your dog inhttp://www.charlotte.com/images/charlotte/charlotte/14853/220615766840.jpg
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Grow some shrubbery to enhance the viewOriginally posted by Trill:If you don't like your nieghbors fence.... http://mail.google.com/mail/?view=att&disp=emb&attid=0.1.1&th=10bd27159e124340
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Gas, thanks for posting that link. Good stuff.
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http://img463.imageshack.us/img463/7530/helicopterhair7zn.png
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Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife
1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began
unexpected child processing that took up a lot of
space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife
1.0 installed itself into all other programs and
now monitors all other system activity.
Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football
5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6
I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background
while attempting to run my favourite applications.
I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0,
but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please
help!
Thanks,
Troubled User. (KEEP READING)
_____________________________________
REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:
This is a very common problem that men complain about.
Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife
1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and
Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING
SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run
EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife
1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is
impossible to uninstall, or purge the program
files from the system once installed.
You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife
1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your
Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child
Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and
work on improving the situation. I suggest
installing the background application "Yes Dear"
to alleviate software augmentation.
The best course of action is to
enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately
you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before
the system will return to normal anyway.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be
very high maintenance.Wife 1.0 comes with several
support programs, such as Clean
and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.
However, be very careful how you use these
programs. Improper use will cause the system to
launch the program Nag Nag 9.5.
Once this happens, the only way to improve the
performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional
software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !
WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
Best of luck,
Tech Support
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http://mail.google.com/mail/?view=att&disp=emb&attid=0.1.3&th=10a2c99302876612
Thought for the day::
As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice:
When you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together
it spells "THEIRS"?
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Linwood... that was cool. Interactive blues guitar, some people have too much time on thier hands
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Nice find Cydonia,It amazing to find that we take these humourous post seriously enough to do research on themOriginally posted by Cydonia:Anyone succeeded at licking his/her elbow yet?
http://www.lifeteen.org/static/newsbox/elbowlick.jpg
The girl must be able to dislocate her shoulder...ouch!!!
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http://img204.imageshack.us/img204/2752/billclin14mh.jpg
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Not all Humor , but completely off topic.
> In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have "the rule of thumb"
> -------------------------------------------
> Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled "Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"...and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.
> -------------------------------------------
> The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
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> Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S.Treasury.
> -------------------------------------------
> Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.
> -------------------------------------------
> Coca-Cola was originally green.
> -------------------------------------------
> It is impossible to lick your elbow.
> -------------------------------------------
> The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska
> -------------------------------------------
> The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get this...)
> -------------------------------------------
> The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400
> -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour: 61,000
> -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
> -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.
> -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.
> -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:
> Spades - King David
> Hearts - Charlemagne
> Clubs -Alexander, the Great
> Diamonds - Julius Caesar
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
> -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
> -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.
> -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
> A. Their birthplace
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested?
> A. Obsession
> -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"?
> A. One thousand
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?
> A. All were invented by women.
> -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
> A. Honey
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year?
> A. Father's Day
> -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase......... "goodnight, sleep tight."
> -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.
> -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them "Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down."
> It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"
> -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.
> -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> ~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow!
> -------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Don't delete this just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can read it.
> I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
> uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The
> phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde
> Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the
> ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit
> plae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh
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How to know when your flying over Africa
http://mail.google.com/mail/?view=att&disp=emb&attid=0.1.1&th=109fe0ac4f48fd3a
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Steve ,the sax player sent me the husband store about a month ago ,its a good one .
Okay ,in honor of March Madness
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Okay,its time to expose myself for the fraud I really am
. The band I'm playing with put up a one page site and some demos. Here are some covers, Of Zoot Suit Riot, Get Down Tonight, and Vehicle. I played some basic keys on the the first two and covered the trumpets on Vehicle and sang backing vocals . Can I use the "I'm just a guitar player who started to learn keys 5 years ago" excuse at least one more time
Don't ask me about the dress code
Greg
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Very nice Cydonia, I could only dream of playing ragtime or stride
Excellent,
Greg
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Welcome Cydonia,
Nice of you to introduce yourself
I've traveled alot in Ontario, New Brunswick ,and Nova Scotia but I never have been in Quebec .
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Well here is my story and I'm sticking to it
My name is Greg Lawson, I have played guitar since I was 9 . I'm now 45. After playing lead guitar in bands I decided I wanted to learn more on the keys. My son had taken off on our Yamaha P-200 and inspired me. At first it was a little slow but after about 5 yrs ,I think I have a good solid base of skills.
I like funky retro keys and spent most of my time learning from. Richard Tee , Micheal Macdonald, Billy Preston, Steely Dan ,Herbie Hancock and Joe Sample, Stevie Wonder, to name a few.
I finally got enough courage to try out as a keyboardist for dance band and actually got the job. I was even more suprised to learn I had got the job over two other keyboard players.
I really love the keys, My guitar has suffered,but I feel I can do so much more with the keys .
I hope to learn from the all the experience that is part of the forum
I currently play a Yamaha P200 ,and a YPP50 with a Motif Rack.
:)Greg
I tried to give my cat a pill and nearly got shredded.
Let's hear it!!! Post your music here!
in The Keyboard Corner
Posted
Thanks for the suggestion Linwood , I felt it was a little muddy also, but I just used the organ on garageband, The recording was areal eye opener on how to improve my organ playing . I could see lots of areas that needed work, and lots of rythym and timing issues. Its a basic 1-6-2-5. I"m a novice trying to fiqure out the organ and get tones to sound better. I have a ways to go but then again,I couldn't even solo in the right hand and play left hand chords a year ago
F13 /D7#9 / G7 #5/ C7#9
LH
Eb A D
F# C F
F B Eb
E Bb Eb