How does that work? ...
It works any way you can devise. I couldn't take it anymore and moved out. But because our son was still in high school and she didn't work, I continued to pay all the bills and gave her some additional cash. We lived this way for 4yrs. Once he left for college we began mediation. Now as part of the agreement we're not officially divorcing until she finishes a master's program. Staying married, I can subsidize her medical ins.
But do I get any credit for all that Noooooo. Like Timwat, I elected to take the high road. Dis'ing the ex, is dis'ing the kid. I actually defend her to him. I took it as an opportunity to be a model for my son, and it's paying off big time. Protect the kids as much as possible with your actions.
But I also embraced, what a counselor once told me: "Ha! everybody's been f'd up by their parents!" You can't shield them from everything.