#514101 - 05/17/02 08:52 AM
new to board, have a new song
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ProdigalSun
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Registered: 05/17/02
Posts: 2
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Im not sure if this is the kind of board where people post there music, and have it critiqued, but thats what Im after..
just recorded this song about a week ago, came up on mp3.com today.. If you have some time, give it a listen, and leave me a note on what i could do better or so.. its hard to find good critics these days...
Ryan
http://artists.mp3s.com/artist_song/2431/2431519.html
you can stream it depending on your connection, or you can download it...
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#514102 - 05/17/02 12:01 PM
Re: new to board, have a new song
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WFTurner
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Registered: 12/11/00
Posts: 1128
Loc: PA, USA
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I listen to a lot of stuff and generally don't like to play the role of critic. I just want to mention that the vocal, the tone, the ambience or perhaps just the way you're using your voice, the lyrics are completely garbled to me. I'd have to spend a ton of time trying to decipher the story your trying to tell which I'm not inclined to do as I'm sure a critic, publisher or producer are not inclined to do either. As writers I think no matter what aproach we take to production, the story has to literally jump out and sit in the listeners lap, else all our energies are a mere waste of time.
All in all the style of this song might not be my particular cup of tea, but if I could have picked up on the story I bet I could have got past that to a certain degree. Keep at it and good luck.
_________________________
William F. Turner Songwriter turnersongs Sometimes the truth is rude... tough shit... get used to it.
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#514103 - 05/18/02 01:07 AM
Re: new to board, have a new song
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ProdigalSun
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Registered: 05/17/02
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Originally posted by WFTurner: I listen to a lot of stuff and generally don't like to play the role of critic. I just want to mention that the vocal, the tone, the ambience or perhaps just the way you're using your voice, the lyrics are completely garbled to me. I'd have to spend a ton of time trying to decipher the story your trying to tell which I'm not inclined to do as I'm sure a critic, publisher or producer are not inclined to do either. As writers I think no matter what aproach we take to production, the story has to literally jump out and sit in the listeners lap, else all our energies are a mere waste of time.
All in all the style of this song might not be my particular cup of tea, but if I could have picked up on the story I bet I could have got past that to a certain degree. Keep at it and good luck. well I tried to almost take it in that direction.. the vocals got a little more distorted than i expected, and i wish they were a little clearer, however, I did want it to take some time and energy on the part of the listener to actually understand the music... I think if we make it a bit too easy, they dont really pay attention to the lyrics at all..
most of my other stuff is a bit more laid back..
i was going for a radioheadesque song here..
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