#503 - 07/25/01 01:42 AM
Re: Just married / how do I justify my gear habbit?
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ricknbokker
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Registered: 12/10/00
Posts: 570
Loc: Telford,PA,UNITED STATES
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Sorry... I was gonna post a reply, abeck, but...this is too ugly a subject for me to get into...
Perhaps this is something that should have been worked out ahead of time.
Good Luck...
Steve
(savin' my pennies for strings...)
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#504 - 07/25/01 02:08 AM
Re: Just married / how do I justify my gear habbit?
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Anonymous
Anonymous
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Include her name in the lyrics 
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#505 - 07/25/01 03:02 AM
Re: Just married / how do I justify my gear habbit?
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Nika
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Registered: 03/22/01
Posts: 2938
Loc: Ft Wayne,IN,UNITED STATES
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I have to let my clients in on this proprietary information all the time...
Tell her that you've found a new use for your drug-and-whore money. You're going to spend it on studio equipment instead (if that's all right with her. If not.......)
Anyway, it works like a charm.
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#506 - 07/25/01 03:04 AM
Re: Just married / how do I justify my gear habbit?
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Nika
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Registered: 03/22/01
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Loc: Ft Wayne,IN,UNITED STATES
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I forgot. There's another one.
Buy her a bouquet of flowers. Then tell her that the bouquet cost $940!!!
She'll wonder why. Then tell her that it came with a free mic (oh, yeah, and since she doesn't need it you thought that it might be ok to annex it?)
Beautiful flowers, though!
Nika.
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#508 - 07/25/01 03:54 PM
Re: Just married / how do I justify my gear habbit?
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Faeflora
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Registered: 04/09/00
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Loc: Hell/Earth, Hell/Earth
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Fuck that. If your hubby/wifey wants to buy something for themselves then tell them to make the money and buy it for themselves.
_________________________
If you live in the Washington Metro area, check out Slave Audio
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#509 - 07/25/01 03:55 PM
Re: Just married / how do I justify my gear habbit?
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Faeflora
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Oh, and to "fuck off" because how you spend your money is your choice.
_________________________
If you live in the Washington Metro area, check out Slave Audio
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#510 - 07/25/01 04:00 PM
Re: Just married / how do I justify my gear habbit?
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Tedster
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Registered: 09/21/00
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Originally posted by Faeflora:
Oh, and to "fuck off" because how you spend your money is your choice.
HAHAHA...You mean..."Which lawyer I hire is my choice"...HAHAHAHA
_________________________
"Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine...(WAH WAH WAH WAHHH!)"
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#511 - 07/25/01 04:14 PM
Re: Just married / how do I justify my gear habbit?
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miroslav
Cosmic Cowboy
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Registered: 05/23/00
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Loc: NY Hudson Valley, USA
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Originally posted by Faeflora:
Fuck that. If your hubby/wifey wants to buy something for themselves then tell them to make the money and buy it for themselves.
Sorry...but I don't agree.
The minute you get into that "my money/your money" crap within a marriage, it's going down the tubes, because you are then each living out your own individual lives. You end up being just roomates and bed partners but you aren't a real married couple.
Money is a BIG part of marriage. You both have to plan TOGETHER how to earn AND spend it...even if one partner is not working. Maybe one partner takes care of home duties/raising kids...that partner still has a right in ALL earning/spending decisions.
Marriage is an EQUAL PARTNERSHIP...I know there are MANY cases of unequality, and sometimes the "less equal" partner is "OK" with that inequality...but still, you have to initially base the marriage on the premise that "we're in this together...'til death do us part"...if you don't...if you go in thinking that it's not going to be that,...then why the fuck bother...just stay single???
_________________________
miroslav - miroslavmusic.com"Just because it happened to you, it doesn't mean it's important."
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#512 - 07/25/01 05:05 PM
Re: Just married / how do I justify my gear habbit?
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Bonafide
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Registered: 06/18/01
Posts: 246
Loc: Santa Barbara, Ca.
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Originally posted by Faeflora:
Oh, and to "fuck off" because how you spend your money is your choice.
Uhm, yes, that is terrific advice.. That's it!! by god. Just tell your partner to Fuck off. Geez, why haven't I thought of that? I think that is absolutley brilliant. I think we should all take your deep wisdom to heart. I think that should be written in your marriage vows. " I will love till death do us part, and uhm..oh yah, I will tell them 'fuck off' when I cant deal with a real issue". " I do"..
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#513 - 07/25/01 06:35 PM
Re: Just married / how do I justify my gear habbit?
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ABECK
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Registered: 01/22/01
Posts: 1231
Loc: Framingham,MA,UNITED STATES
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Originally posted by miroslav:
Sorry...but I don't agree.
The minute you get into that "my money/your money" crap within a marriage, it's going down the tubes, because you are then each living out your own individual lives.
Money is a BIG part of marriage. You both have to plan TOGETHER how to earn AND spend it
That's basically where I was giong with this. Based on the assumption that our money is "OUR" money - I'm going to have to approach buying gear in a different way. I'm not really worried - just thinking out loud.
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#514 - 07/25/01 06:52 PM
Re: Just married / how do I justify my gear habbit?
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strat0124
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Registered: 04/03/01
Posts: 5056
Loc: ,VA,UNITED STATES
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DanSouth's idea is one I've used for a while....being frugal. I lust like anyone else at all the new stuff out, and when those catalogs come in, I wanna know how much a certain peice of gear has dropped in price or whathaveyou.
However, in a relationship where you're cohabitating and sharing everything.....buying high dollar items just for you will get you a very resentful partner. Even if you do have alot of income to throw around. There are ways to appease your mate and still enjoy the freedom of purchasing (wisely) your next fave toy. Frequent mini vacations or weekly date nights go a long way. Also little shopping sprees....you know guys, the ones we hate, but we do it anyway? Movies......I sit through the chick flicks with her.....and she sits through the Indie flicks with me.....and all is well. Don't fall into the thing of always trying to be fifty fifty......it never works. Just do what you have to do, sometimes 70/30....sometimes 10/90.......it all evens out.....or should, anyway.
I have a serious jones for buying a new recorder.....and I want one that costs around 3500 bucks......I prefaced my intentions WAY before, and she and I sat down and mapped out a plan to make my little dream toy purchase come true. To me it works best that way. I've also just bought stuff, put it in the studio, and casually mention it in passing.......I don't recommend this unless you really enjoy conflict.
You guys have to figure out the happy medium yourselves though.....all the advice from us doesn't mean a hill of beans.......hope you find that place....good luck, and congrats on your marriage.
Gene
_________________________
Down like a dollar comin up against a yen, doin pretty good for the shape I'm in
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#515 - 07/25/01 11:45 PM
Re: Just married / how do I justify my gear habbit?
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chessparov_dup1
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Registered: 07/08/01
Posts: 219
Loc: Aliso Viejo,CA,UNITED STATES
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Not to sound to much like a counselor, however... Good generic advice
is to establish a monthly income vs. expense budget, that allows you to
have a specific $ goal for monthly saving and a reasonable amount for
"unexpected" emergencies (car repairs, etc.). As a reward for both of
you for each month you succeed in meeting the above, put $ away in a
separate account for your "fun" money. It is a good idea to make all of
your purchases by cash, rather than credit, from this account to help
avoid overextending yourself (avoid "no payments till...").
Luckily for me, my wife is a natural at this so it's worked out fine.
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#516 - 07/26/01 09:42 AM
Re: Just married / how do I justify my gear habbit?
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cransongs
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Registered: 07/23/01
Posts: 18
Loc: new orleans,LA,UNITED STATES
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Write a beautiful song for your wife.
Or tell her it's all deductable.
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#517 - 07/26/01 10:32 AM
Re: Just married / how do I justify my gear habbit?
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Philip O'Keefe
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Registered: 12/17/00
Posts: 17674
Loc: Riverside,CA,UNITED STATES
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Interesting (and practical) thread.
I'm not so sure I have any earth shaking advice for you Andrew (BTW, congratulations!) but I thought Bonafide's original post had a lot of wisdom in it. No flames here Bonafide, I thought you were 100% correct!
I STRONGLY disagee with all the people who suggested "hiding" things. Communication's important to a marriage, and so is trust. Doing anything like this is a sure way to damage both. And whomever said buying something and casually mentioning it later is a sure path to conflict was right on the money!
I'm fortunate. I was married before and had a studio and was in a band - neither of which my then wife "got", although she obviously knew about these things before we got married. I thought she was cool with it but time proved otherwise. I ended up dropping the band, selling the gear and buying her something VERY expensive that she wanted in an effort to place her first, only to see her new boyfriend using it a few months later. Yup, she left anyway. Oh well...  Moral is: you are who you are. For me, being a musician isn't something I do, it's something I AM. There's a significant difference. But this "music thing" is a part of my personality and a significant portion of what makes me "me". When i got married this time, I made darn sure that this was understood.
It turned out for the best in the long run because now I'm married to a wonderful woman who is a world class vocalist, a piano player and songwriter. She's been in the Biz for years (former RCA recording artist) and she understands. Like Lee, she's not into china, expensive clothes or
any of that stuff. And my studio's my full time job, and so she understands that it's the nature of the beast to have to get things repaired, upgrade stuff, expand, etc.
I liked the idea of writing a song (or three) for her, and all the suggestions that alluded to getting her involved somehow. Master Zap's problem might end up being yours though - get her TOO interested and you may find yourself fighting over who gets to make the next purchase with the gear budget!
And Lee - you're going to get married RSN if you keep posting things like that! 
Phil O'Keefe
Sound Sanctuary Recording
Riverside CA
http://members.aol.com/ssanctuary/index.html
email: pokeefe777@msn.com
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