#473 - 07/24/01 11:57 AM
Just married / how do I justify my gear habbit?
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ABECK
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Just got married last weekend.
How do you guys go about justifying reckless gear purchasing.
I'm pretty sure my wife would think I was crazy if I said "but hon, $2000 is a GOOD price for that compressor" or "I just needed to spend $900 on a new mic."
I just don't think she'll "get" my habbit.
Does anyone with experience have advice (or good anecdotes?)
Andrew
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#474 - 07/24/01 12:01 PM
Re: Just married / how do I justify my gear habbit?
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-
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Is she musical? Does she play an instrument or sing?
Expensive gear purchases can be justified to your significant other if the two of you play music together.
If you don't... Make sure that, if there's an expensive piece of gear you've got your eye on, let her know waaaaay before you actually go out and purchase it. Don't spend $900 on a mic on a whim! 
This message has been edited by popmusic on 07-24-2001 at 09:05 AM
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#475 - 07/24/01 12:03 PM
Re: Just married / how do I justify my gear habbit?
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d gauss
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tell her how much your 1st, 2nd, and 3rd wives used to bug you about buying gear and how they still haven't found their bodies yet (no body=no crime)....
-d. gauss
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#477 - 07/24/01 12:44 PM
Re: Just married / how do I justify my gear habbit?
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Mark Zeger
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Doesn't Guitar Center, Mars, Sam Ash, etc. have a Bridal Registry? Seriously, how often does anyone use "the good china"? Now there's a lousy way to spend money.
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#479 - 07/24/01 01:23 PM
Re: Just married / how do I justify my gear habbit?
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Dylan
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If your wife isn't into music yet, then try to turn her on to an instrument. I recently picked up a Fender Bass (my main instrument is guitar) in promise that I'd teach my fiancé how to play. Ever since then she has a new appreciation on why I spend the amount of money that I do on gear ;-)>. Plus, it is exciting to watch someone learn an instrument and to share their excitement along the way.
-Dylan
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#480 - 07/24/01 01:25 PM
Re: Just married / how do I justify my gear habbit?
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Lee Flier
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LOL that's great Harold. Good thing your wife was able to appreciate the difference!
And I agree about the china - I dunno what it is but I'm one of probably ten women on the planet who hates china, jewelery, expensive furniture and clothes and that kind of thing. I just don't get what anybody finds appealing about that. Not that I don't like my home and stuff to look nice, but I don't think that kind of stuff even makes it look nice - just stuffy and formal. And anybody I would marry would know that right off the bat, skip the engagement ring and get me an LA2A instead.  I swear if anybody tried to buy me any china I'd bash them over the head with it. But, my friends and family know that. So it ain't gonna happen.
Dunno what to tell you about justifying your gear habit (unless your wife does have some expensive habit of her own that you can compare it to). I'm a little concerned that she didn't already know this about you before you got married!
--Lee
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#481 - 07/24/01 01:34 PM
Re: Just married / how do I justify my gear habbit?
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d gauss
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funny thing is, i actually bought some china this weekend. got this totally cool set of retro, kinda partridge family-esque, hippie flowered, dishes at a yard sale for 3 bucks! anybody want some baloney sandwiches on wonderbread with the crust cut off?
-d. gauss
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#482 - 07/24/01 01:45 PM
Re: Just married / how do I justify my gear habbit?
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miroslav
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Originally posted by ABECK:
Just got married....justifying reckless gear purchasing...
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...
You just don't get it...unless she's a musician...she will never understand it.
She'll put up with it, ignore it, get pissed about it...but never understand it.
Even if you try to compare it to HER spending...like,
"but honey, you spend $80 on a hair cut and I only spend $15"
or
"you just bought 4 pairs of shoes but I only bought one pair of sneakers"
or
"but those diamond earings cost as much as two of my fx processors"
it will always be a losing battle.
You only have one chance...maybe just one chance...lay down down the law HARD....right from the start, and REFUSE to change ANYTHING about yourself until she starts to get use to it.
Then...slowly...S-L-O-W-L-Y...let her win the smaller battles that you (REALLY...shhh!) don't care about losing anyway...that way you just might (MAYBE???) win the one or two important ones. 
(Oh...I am currently not married...first wife didn't get it...it was always..."but what about myyyyyyy needs!!!???"...a bottomless pit.)
And...AND...even when you DO get to buy some new toys...do you think she will actually LET you have any REAL time to play with them?
"HONEY...how much longer are you going to be in there playing around with that stuff? I'm going to bed...are you coming soon?"
This message has been edited by miroslav on 07-24-2001 at 10:48 AM
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#484 - 07/24/01 02:38 PM
Re: Just married / how do I justify my gear habbit?
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Trash Monkey
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You just don't get it...unless she's a musician...she will never understand it.
She'll put up with it, ignore it, get pissed about it...but never understand it.
Even if you try to compare it to HER spending...like,
"but honey, you spend $80 on a hair cut and I only spend $15"
or
"you just bought 4 pairs of shoes but I only bought one pair of sneakers"
or
"but those diamond earings cost as much as two of my fx processors"
it will always be a losing battle.
You only have one chance...maybe just one chance...lay down down the law HARD....right from the start, and REFUSE to change ANYTHING about yourself until she starts to get use to it.
Then...slowly...S-L-O-W-L-Y...let her win the smaller battles that you (REALLY...shhh!) don't care about losing anyway...that way you just might (MAYBE???) win the one or two important ones.
Miroslav's dead on this one,
I've been married 19 years and got one of the good ones. Just had to put out 10k to buy my partner out of the studio and my wife was the one pushing me to go for it! One thing, don't EVER go buy anything that costs more than a set of guitar strings without discussing it first. You may be surprised to find more compassion for your art in your wife than you think if you just include her in your decisions.
Good luck,
Russ
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#485 - 07/24/01 03:01 PM
Re: Just married / how do I justify my gear habbit?
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Tedster
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Hmmm...love the humorous posts here.
It does boil down to what sort of income you have, though. If your business is audio, then you'll need it, just like someone who owns a landscape business may need to buy a Bobcat.
Otherwise, if your business isn't audio, and you make a good salary, it's just like anything else...any other kind of hobby money. "Some guys buy Harleys...I buy audio gear...some folks have a boat, I have this stuff".
But...if you're a gas station attendant and she waits tables at the truck stop and you're trying to justify spending $3000 on a Focusrite pre...you may have some problems.
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"Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine...(WAH WAH WAH WAHHH!)"
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#486 - 07/24/01 03:21 PM
Re: Just married / how do I justify my gear habbit?
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Electrox
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That's funny! She doesn't know WHAT she married. If you are "reckless gear purchasing" then she should stop you (hopefully). However, if you feel that this is a way to explain having to buy quality gear to support something that furthers your artistic insticts, then she will enjoy the music you create with these tools. Money is the gasoline of life. Steer your life in the right direction, and no one complains about the octane.
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#487 - 07/24/01 03:25 PM
Re: Just married / how do I justify my gear habbit?
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threesixty
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"Just got married....justifying reckless gear purchasing..."
Make a hit record ....
i'm sure she'll understand Prada shoes ....
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#488 - 07/24/01 03:56 PM
Re: Just married / how do I justify my gear habbit?
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Bonafide
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Jesus, this thread is making me cringe.
How the hell can 2 people live together and not support each other? This thread is making a spouse/life mate/partner in crime look like an obstacle.
No offense to anybody here, but cmon! If your other half doesn't recognize your passion for music or recording or whatever, then you are simply with the wrong partner. The whole point in getting married is to 'improve your life' not hinder it. The idea that a spouse has negative feelings toward your goals in life makes me sad for both parties involved. I don't care if anyone wants to admit it or not and I don't care if anybody flames the shit out me for speaking this.
Musicians and recordist's, particularly the ones that are trying to make a living at it, have expensive tools. No doubt a studio is the biggest mouth to feed in the house. It is ALWAYS hungry.
Comminication is key. The thought of 'sneaking gear' or attempts to justify gear is ludicrous. I have read similiar threads of this nature and wonder how someones lives in harmony and continues to nurture a relationship. Of course If you have a problem with spending cash and buying the 'latest' thing all the time, then perhaps you need help.
You can try budgeting your gear into the spectrum of your life. Honestly, it is that important. You can save for gear, you can work an extra job for a while to compensate if neccesary. You can assume that gear is another bill and needs to be counted for.
I have both of my full arms and chest 'plates' completely covered in custom Japanese Tattooed artwork. I have what is known as 'Full Sleeves and chest plates'. This was expensive, though of course it was done over time, but it cost close to $10,000. The point is that it was important to budget for it. My wife and I (My wife would never get tattooed) would 'look at the year' in finances and see what months were appropriate. We do the same thing for gear. I do make 'extra' money often with my side business and use that for gear. But it is still budgeted in.
Strange Thread. Life is Strange, People are strange. Call me a stupid idiot but I just don't get it.
Cheers.
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#489 - 07/24/01 04:00 PM
Re: Just married / how do I justify my gear habbit?
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Lee Flier
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How the hell can 2 people live together and not support each other? This thread is making a spouse/life mate/partner in crime look like an obstacle.
No offense to anybody here, but cmon! If your other half doesn't recognize your passion for music or recording or whatever, then you are simply with the wrong partner. The whole point in getting married is to 'improve your life' not hinder it. The idea that a spouse has negative feelings toward your goals in life makes me sad for both parties involved. I don't care if anyone wants to admit it or not and I don't care if anybody flames the shit out me for speaking this.
No flames here. Amen! I'm totally with you!
--Lee
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#493 - 07/24/01 04:44 PM
Re: Just married / how do I justify my gear habbit?
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chessparov_dup1
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Try a "karaoke" night sometime and get the backing tracks to her favorite
songs-works for me. Or ask her if she'd like to help put together a
holiday album to give out as a gift...of course we don't want to put out
"junk" honey! (that kind of thing). Another idea is to surprise her with
a romantic recording that may "happened" to be used with a piece of gear
you have "on loan", then discuss its purchase. And show her how you can
save X dollars by getting that widget on e-bay rather than at the dealer.
Sorry if all my "hers" sound sexist Lee, simply substitute "him" and
you're all set. All above ideas have been beta tested by yours truly!
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#494 - 07/24/01 05:30 PM
Re: Just married / how do I justify my gear habbit?
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lwilliam
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I've been married for 10 years to the same wonderful gal. She is a very part-time musician (is actually the business/financial manager for a couple of minor entertainment-types) and occasionally plays keyboards for me on certain tracks. It certainly helps that she used to play in bands and is a musician.
1. However, she knew she married a musician and there was always going to be new gear to buy. I've had to remind her of this a couple of times, but she really hasn't given me too hard a time about it.
2. Pay cash for the stuff. As long as I'm not spending the mortgage money or running up credit card debt, she's been very understanding.
3. She doesn't like expensive jewelry (thank goodness!). She would rather see me buy a new Taylor guitar or a new set of plugins than get her a bigger diamond. Our house COULD be a Martha Stewart showcase, but instead she prefers to allow me to spend the money on the studio - because it makes me happy! She doesn't want me to be miserable (which I would be if I still had to live with a little 4-track machine and an SM58). If she is really interested in keeping the relationship happy (and a happy hubby can be a more attentive and fun-lovin' hubby), then she'll at least tolerate your "jones".
4. I show her my "wish list" periodically, so that she knows I'm not buying something on impulse, but have planned the purchase. Usually, I have to explain what a piece of equipment will do to improving the sound - and she invariably can hear the difference after the purchase.
I hope some of this is useful...
------------------
Larry W.
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Larry W.
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#496 - 07/24/01 06:17 PM
Re: Just married / how do I justify my gear habbit?
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dansouth
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Tough question. This is always going to be an issue, even if you've discussed it previously. Probably the best thing to do is to overcome your gear lust and become very frugal. Easier said than done, I know.
Maybe she'll be more accepting if she sees you finishing projects. If you want to spend a ton of money and then just noodle around, it will aggravate your situation. If being married is important to you, you'll have to make compromises.
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#497 - 07/24/01 06:27 PM
Re: Just married / how do I justify my gear habbit?
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Master Zap
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It used to be "honey can I buy a Kurzweil"
Then one fateful day I lend her the mic and said "sing something" ( and the rest is history - click here to hear .
Now, it's me going "I would like to buy a Korg Triton" and she comes back with "Actually we should get two so I can have one as well, and take the one with the BIG keyboard, remember I am a pianist!"
/Z
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#498 - 07/24/01 06:29 PM
Re: Just married / how do I justify my gear habbit?
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alphajerk
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i have a good wife. she doesnt "understand" totally but she trusts my descisions. and i bought her a REALLY NICE SUV  she gets pissed off more on the time i spend working over gear expenses [and that ends with "you want a roof over your head dont you?"]
the key in your statement for success is taking out the RECKLESS out of spending. aside from my computer/software upgrades, all purchases i make now i make sure that they will go up in value and not down. my flamingo already has gone up a grand... everything is researched heavily for the future unlike before where i would buy something to fit a current need and then not use it later on.
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#499 - 07/24/01 06:58 PM
Re: Just married / how do I justify my gear habbit?
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ABECK
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Originally posted by miroslav:
Well yeah...you have to make a distinction.
The problem is when you get into that gray..."hobby/part-time job"...area. 1)Your gear expenses are probably exceeding your part-time studio earnings (we've all been there).
2)Your hobby is "taking you away" from...HER.
. :
That's sort of where I'm at. Not a full timer yet, but I pick up engineering work sporadically.
Let me rephrase my eariler post: "reckless" was a poor choice of words. I chose it more for the humor. Anyone who doesn't know much about Pro Audio might consider $2000 (example) for a compressor as "reckless."
I am by no means a reckless spender. I have a $0 balance on my credit cards.
It's not like she doesn't have a clue. we've been living together for a year and a half, and dating for 8 years. It's just that now that we're pooling our incomes, it seems like it might be harder to justify my purchases. Anywho, she really is great. We're looking for a house, ad she understands that we have to set aside 1 room for my "home Studio."
Thanks for the replies.
Andrew
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#500 - 07/24/01 07:25 PM
Re: Just married / how do I justify my gear habbit?
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miroslav
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Originally posted by ABECK:
...I have a $0 balance on my credit cards.
Take all your credit card statements showing the ZERO BALANCE, photocopy them, frame them, and hang them on your "studio wall"...you will never see those zeros again!
Been there, done that...not tryin' to blame it all on my ex, but before I got married I use to ALWAYS have a nice chunk of C-A-$-H in my pocket and I had NO CREDIT CARDS...always paid with C-A-$-H.
After I got married, the cash vanished and in came the credit cards. I've been divorced for about 12 years...the C-A-$-H never came back and the credit cards are still in my wallet. 
But don't get me wrong...just because I now have credit cards, life is still better than it was before I was married/divorced. I have a great day gig, recently I bought a nice house, my new studio is coming along well (I've added a lot of new toys)...
I'm just saying that EVEN though you've dated and lived together...be prepared for changes,...hopefully, they can be good ones for you...so hey, don't bail on your marriage before it's even begun!!!
Here is one for all you married guys:
Married men may live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
This message has been edited by miroslav on 07-24-2001 at 04:27 PM
_________________________
miroslav - miroslavmusic.com"Just because it happened to you, it doesn't mean it's important."
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#501 - 07/24/01 07:30 PM
Re: Just married / how do I justify my gear habbit?
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NYC Drew
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Andrew,
You've been getting solid advice so far...
1. What does your wife think?? That's the crux of the matter there...
My wife (and family) know how dedicated I am to my work, my family & my hobbies. Balancing gets crazy at times, and sacrifice & compromise is the ruling mantra.
Fortunately, I've been somewhat lucky in music & business, and I have a proven track record (with my FAMILY) of making all those weird (read: expensive) purchases / investments work out.
It's between youse twos to decide what % of what is allocated for what, and what's left to play with...
2. Cold as it may sound, more than 2/10 marriages end in divorce. For you & the missus' sake, ensure that you both have some amount of autonomy in the event you ever decide to diverge.
Now (and pre-marriage) is the time to figure out how each party wants to deal with pelasant & not-so-pleasant scenarios.
Anyways, the best of the best to ya!
NYC Drew
This message has been edited by NYC Drew on 07-24-2001 at 04:38 PM
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#502 - 07/24/01 07:39 PM
Re: Just married / how do I justify my gear habbit?
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Bonafide
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Originally posted by miroslav:
Take all your credit card statements showing the ZERO BALANCE, photocopy them, frame them, and hang them on your "studio wall"...you will never see those zeros again!
Oh shit,That made me laugh my ass off.
Cheers.
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