I'm an 18 year old self-professed guitar addict. I'm not, by any stretch of the imagination, an expert on the subject of guitar, or a profound philosopher who can related psychological aspects of emotions to the playing of a musician. I know what I know, and feel what I feel from the experiences in the brief 18 years of my life, and the even briefer 3 years of playing.

Over those three years, the hormonal angst of a teenager pumped full of testosterone from family issues and high school drama pushed me into a world where I used my guitar as my emotional outlet. At first it started as just banging chords to Zeppelin songs as hard as I could through a practice amp. Eventually, I craved to use the guitar for more, because my emotions weren't limited to pubescent frustrations. After discovering Jeff Beck, I realized that feelings of love, heaviness, dissonance... every possible feeling that a person can feel can be emoted using this six-stringed wonderment, at which point, I let go of my hopes and dreams of being the next Hendrix or Page, and started focusing on the palate of emotional colours that were available to me with this paintbrush I called a guitar.

While GP magazine lead me to discover wonderful new musicians and techniques that would influence my playing heavily, it also made me develop something I regret; an addiction to gear in the pursuit of impossible tone. It got so bad, in fact, that I eventually spent more time researching gear and comparing different prices and products than actually playing. The guitar had stopped being a tool of expressiveness, and became an unreachable goal of perfection in sound quality. Music became less fun, the price of gear depressed me (being a broke-assed 16 year old) and I lost sight of what the instrument was. I had spent all my money on a Marshall 1974x reissue with NOS caps, my dream amp. I should've been thrilled. Heck, I was for about 5 days until I decided I needed a fuzz pedal, some reverb and echo. This obsessive compulsive desire to alter, improve, and mutilate my tone went on until very recently, when I read the words of Carlos Santana's interview in the latest GP mag.

I had never in my life felt more humbled. I was shocked that a player's spiritual philosophy would inspire me more than trying to copy his licks. It brought me right back down to earth and slapped me in the face with the reasons I play guitar; it's an extension of myself, a creative tool. It allows me to express my emotions without reservations, and in some small way, allows me to truly be myself. Although gear helps you, it's not the amps, pedals or guitars you use at the end of the day, it's what you're playing, how you're playing it, and whether it means something. Never in my life have I felt so satisfied with my gear than a one channel Marshall, 10' cable and Strat.

I don't claim to have a profound, mystical view for the guitar or music, but I do know this; with every bend, every bit of vibrato, every open chord plucked or power chord slammed, there's a reason behind it, there's an emotion or a sense of purpose. You can play burning hot shred licks sheerly for the enjoyment of playing or you can play a heartfelt melody that brings tears to your eyes because it's so meaningful or personal.

There's a bit of magic in the guitar, the technologies and tonal possibilities that extend beyond chromatics can make an infinite amount of sounds to fully express yourself. My rule of thumb has always been 'if you feel it, it's right'.


I play, therefor I feel.

Intangible Emotiveness
Hi, I have been digging and mining for the unseen most of my guitar playing life. It has and continues to be the driving force that keeps me exploring the guitar. I had a revelation on this 20 years ago.
At the time I was performing in a cover/original band. We were really popular and having good success in the clubs. Even though we were successful I was plagued with self doubt and always comparing myself to other players. Heavy Metal was big in the area and I couldn't compete with players who were more natural at that style.
There was this other band, a great Heavy Metal Band, that was at the top of the heap of all the bands in the area and we would have to open for them on occasion. I always dreaded this because their guitarist was always tuned in and locked in to the Intangible Emotiveness that Carlos spoke of in this months issue. He was always in that place,always. He relied upon excessive volume, excessive booze and excessive drugs to get there, but it was a wonder to be there with him, present to his connection to the unseen.
At the time I agonized over how small he would make me feel. I could not rely upon excessive volume(my band mates wouldn't tolerate it) and excessive booze and drugs never got me there. I searched my soul for the answer to my stuggle and one nite in a dream I received it.
In the dream I was on stage with this guitarist and he was there in that place doing his amazing thing and he turned to me to let me have a go at it. Although normally I would have been paralyzed with fear, in this dream I sat down on the stage and got very quite inside. I was able to shut out my thoughts and just be with my guitar. I began to play and I hit this one note, an amazing note and to my wonderment I started to raise up off the ground. I immediately came out of my "state" and fell back to the stage. So I got quiet in my mind again and found that one amazing note, felt it vibrate through my body and once again raised up off the ground. I began to experiment and go deeper and deeper into this state. As I did I could fly all around the stage. The thing that got me was that I was just concentrating on staying "DEEP". I was not concentrating on playing the guitar. I felt amazing. All this wonderful sound was coming out of me and I was flying. When I stopped I looked over that this guitarist and he was just smiling from ear to ear and he said to me, "That was AMAZING, WELCOME".
I never spoke much with him when we did play together and he will never know how much he helped me out in that dream, but from that day forward I have always kept that dream in my heart and when I struggle with being to full of the shit of my mind and/or life, when I am trying to play and perform heartfelt music, I always see him there smiling at me as I fly about holding those amazing notes,playing "DEEP.
I keep a note card in everyone of my guitar cases and written on them is "Remember the Dream - Play DEEP TO FLY". Brijomi

Heart Tone,

You are right on the money with all of your comments. I have a hard time believing you are 18 years old. If that's true, you are well on your way to something true and beautiful. Your comments were not corny at all, just true. Carlos affects me the same way. The music is fantastic but I think the man is beyond special. Thanks for saying what I wanted to but couldn't really express it as pointedly as you did. God bless!