#1809791 - 09/13/07 10:21 AM
Guys in new band argue too much!
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Nu2Keys
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Registered: 02/11/05
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A drummer and I joined a new band about 6 weeks ago. The other three guys, the original members, are apparently all Type A personalities and argue a lot. It's weird, and I really don't know how to handle it. The drummer is already leaving! Playing with them is actually helping me musically since, while they are strong singers, they are not particularly strong soloists, so I'm getting to play more solos. I'm a Type B so I try to get along, but should I confront them about the arguing if it continues?
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#1812363 - 09/18/07 05:53 AM
Re: Guys in new band argue too much!
[Re: Nu2Keys]
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Kramer Ferrington III.
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Of course you should. They're already getting the drummer to leave and if you feel uncomfortable enough, for long enough, you'll leave too. I don't think they'd really want that?
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#1820351 - 10/05/07 09:55 PM
Re: Guys in new band argue too much!
[Re: Kramer Ferrington III.]
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Cozmicslop
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Everytime my old band used to start arguing, I'd go out on the back porch and let them settle it. If any argument took longer than 20 minutes to settle. I'd pack my gear and pull. Sooner or later even an idiot will notice we're spending more time arguing than playing.
Disagreements continued, but became more brief.
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#1822592 - 10/10/07 08:11 AM
Re: Guys in new band argue too much!
[Re: Cozmicslop]
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Jeff Klopmeyer
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I like Cosmicslop's advice.
Don't put up with crap! Life is too short. And regarding your B-type persona, that's fine, but don't let it get in the way of expressing what's meaningful to you
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#1823863 - 10/12/07 03:46 PM
Re: Guys in new band argue too much!
[Re: Jeff Klopmeyer]
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Nu2Keys
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Well, we've played both gigs now and they went okay. There were mistakes but no train wrecks. It's weird, but the drummer and I are in two other bands together, and all three bands played this particular festival. The stage soundman, who has known the drummer for a long time, told him that THIS BAND is the one of all of them that he should stick with. We think it is because this band is a little different. The main sound man, who did sound for all three bands, said that we band sounded great, but didn't mention the other two bands at all (the other two bands are more normal blues/classic rock bands). So anyway, the band leader is out of town so nothing will happen until he gets home, but at this point I guess I'm leaving my options open.
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#1824794 - 10/15/07 07:33 AM
Re: Guys in new band argue too much!
[Re: Nu2Keys]
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Jeff Klopmeyer
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Well, if the music is good enough to overcome the personality conflicts, perhaps you guys just need to try and find a way to make it work.
Not to get all philosophical on you, but art is often born of conflict. A good number of great bands, from the Stones to the Who and many more, had a lot of internal fighting, but made a lot of good music. It's not the easiest road to take, but it could be worthwhile.
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#1934372 - 04/29/08 04:23 PM
Re: Guys in new band argue too much!
[Re: Jeff Klopmeyer]
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skampiepoo
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Work together, have disputes, flip your lid, then kiss & make up, respect difference of opinion and come to a compromise. Arguments are the root of all break ups.
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#1941926 - 05/14/08 01:56 AM
Re: Guys in new band argue too much!
[Re: skampiepoo]
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Morgan Ramsay
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A band is an organization that can be led, managed, and marketed just like any other organization. A band's core product is its music. If your band is commercially motivated, consider simply aligning the members with the notion that the band is a business.
Too many bands fail because their members are loosely organized and have no clear definition of their bands' missions. Playing your hearts out every night, having fun, and touring the country until you all are penniless is just a destructive fantasy. If you and your bandmates don't know why you're in the band, I suggest you all sit down and find out.
That's how you can get your band synchronized.
_________________________
Morgan RamsayChief Brand Architect, Heretic
Solo Guitarist, Genre: Celtic
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#1942105 - 05/14/08 09:00 AM
Re: Guys in new band argue too much!
[Re: Morgan Ramsay]
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Jeff Klopmeyer
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Too many bands fail because their members are loosely organized and have no clear definition of their bands' missions. Playing your hearts out every night, having fun, and touring the country until you all are penniless is just a destructive fantasy.
I completely agree that all bands should have a common plan in terms of what their goals are. This is important beyond words.
However: keep in mind that not every band has a financial-oriented goal. There is value in art and in fun, and I wouldn't be so quick to label that type of band, provided everyone in the band is there with that understanding, "destructive".
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#1942164 - 05/14/08 01:32 PM
Re: Guys in new band argue too much!
[Re: Jeff Klopmeyer]
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Morgan Ramsay
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Jeff, I was specifically referring to bands in a commercial context. I live next door to a band comprised of old guys who mainly play together for the joy of doing so. They have two albums released, work as a house band for several local pubs, but they don't earn enough money from gigging to pay the bills. Each works a day job, at least three members are parents, so they're grounded to the region. If they had larger commercial aspirations, I'd step in and take them to the next level. They don't and that's fine.
I also think that "art and fun" and commerce are not mutually exclusive. While the systems and processes necessary for a commercial endeavor can distract from the development of the product, a band as a business can hire other professionals to handle that other work. [A label effectively serves that purpose; however, independent contractors can substitute for the marketing support of a label, so labels are more of a convenience than a requirement.]
_________________________
Morgan RamsayChief Brand Architect, Heretic
Solo Guitarist, Genre: Celtic
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#1942603 - 05/15/08 01:29 PM
Re: Guys in new band argue too much!
[Re: Morgan Ramsay]
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Jeff Klopmeyer
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Jeff, I was specifically referring to bands in a commercial context.
Sure, and in that respect, I definitely agree.
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