#1689343 - 04/07/06 02:21 PM
Nightmare fans
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Jeff Klopmeyer
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Registered: 10/13/00
Posts: 16802
Loc: Redondo Beach,CA,UNITED STATES
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As we all know, we should appreciate anyone who comes out to see us play. The more people who see you, the more they drink and eat at the venue, the more the owner makes, and the more likely you'll be invited back to play.
That having been said, most of us who have played for a significant amount of time have run into one of the following fan types. Feel free to comment, or add your own!
1. The Used To Be
This guy comes up to you in between sets (or, worse, in between songs of a set), reeking of cheap booze, and feels compelled to tell you that he used to be in a band. "Man, back in '78, we played at this bar, and the singer for Ambrosia came in one night, and we did a bunch of blow, and my amp blew up, and..."
2. The Wanna-Be MILF
She probably wasn't attractive when she was 20, and at 53, she's not any better looking. Now she can't stop herself from getting up in front of the band (perhaps even getting onstage uninvited), and doing an awkward bump-and-grind with various flabby parts popping out, arms flailing, and thinking she's drop-dead sexy.
3. The Lemme Play Just One Tune
He won't talk to you while you set up, but he will walk up and closely examine each piece of gear you have. Then, toward the end of the night, he'll walk up and say, "Dude, you guys know (insert name of obscure metal song)? It's easy, just E and A. How about if I sit in for one tune? Just one tune. No, I don't know the lyrics, but you know it, right? C'mon."
Ah, fans. Can't live without 'em.
- Jeff
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#1689344 - 04/14/06 01:10 PM
Re: Nightmare fans
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Tedster
MP Hall of Fame Member
Registered: 09/21/00
Posts: 5933
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Oh yeah...and of course...the
(SPIT...SLOBBER) "YOU GUYSH ROCK!!!. I mean you guysh fuckin' ROCK! (three inches away from your face...and in case you didn't hear it the first two or three times, he'll say it 15 more times...really close to your face to make sure you a) hear what he's saying and b) gag from the alcohol breath).
This is, of course, similar to the used-to-be, but this guy never played. But all his old buddies, his ex-girlfriend's brother in law and all, were in world famous bands.
_________________________
"Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine...(WAH WAH WAH WAHHH!)"
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#1689345 - 04/14/06 02:03 PM
Re: Nightmare fans
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Big Red 67
MP Hall of Fame Member
Registered: 06/27/04
Posts: 7153
Loc: Sacramento
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Dude,...my brothers sisters aunt works for (insert record company name) and could get you guys a contract. (did I mention that this guy doesn't have many teeth left in his head) Oh, yea. What does she do there? She's in housekeeping. Oh,...thanks,...ah yea give me her number. Oh...yea...she doesn't have a phone right now.
And many other "I know someone" stories.
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#1689346 - 04/14/06 07:48 PM
Re: Nightmare fans
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Jeff Klopmeyer
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Registered: 10/13/00
Posts: 16802
Loc: Redondo Beach,CA,UNITED STATES
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Originally posted by Big Red 67:
Dude,...my brothers sisters aunt works for (insert record company name) and could get you guys a contract.
How about the sketchy-looking guy that hangs out until the very end of your set, and then offers to help you load your gear out? And you're like, "Huh... we could use the help, but I'll bet he's going to grab a guitar and start running, but he seems like a nice enough guy, but still... hmmm."
- Jeff
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#1689347 - 04/15/06 08:22 AM
Re: Nightmare fans
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Tedster
MP Hall of Fame Member
Registered: 09/21/00
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It's always...whenever you play something, somebody knows someone who was "really good". So you're just playing and someone says "Yeah, I used to have this buddy who was really good". Or, "My buddy used to be buddies with (insert some famous name here)". It's this one-upmanship... "You're better than me, but I used to know this guy who was better than you". Whether the guy he knew really was better or not was irrelevant, because I've heard as many "I know this guy who's really good, he can play 'House of the Rising Sun'"... :rolleyes: as often as it is "Steve Morse used to be my bestest buddy".
_________________________
"Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine...(WAH WAH WAH WAHHH!)"
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#1689349 - 05/08/06 03:02 PM
Re: Nightmare fans
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Dick Ward (MP Hall of Fame Wannabe)
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Registered: 10/01/05
Posts: 1235
Loc: Novi, Mi
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Originally posted by Big Red 67:
Dude,...my brothers sisters aunt works for (insert record company name) and could get you guys a contract. (did I mention that this guy doesn't have many teeth left in his head) Oh, yea. What does she do there? She's in housekeeping. Oh,...thanks,...ah yea give me her number. Oh...yea...she doesn't have a phone right now.
And many other "I know someone" stories.
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