#1645824 - 05/10/05 04:17 PM
Playing in the same band with relatives?
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EddiePlaysBass
MP Hall of Fame Member
Registered: 06/24/04
Posts: 2631
Loc: Belgium
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Hi everyone
I'm Eddie from Belgium, never quite post here since I'm usually over at the Lowdown
Anyway, today the singer in my band quit and it was decided that my father (who is a far superior singer) will take his place.
In itself I'm excited: all the members in the band are older and more experienced than me (I'm 24 -almost- and have been playing bass for 3 years now -might be four, actually, I should check) but our singer sucked.
Now, I joined the band after they'd hired the singer, otherwise I'd have voiced my opinion ... But no matter how good the musicians are, if the singer sucks your band will take bad credit for it as a whole.
And my father IS a great singer. Bit rusty, but still
Anyway, I'm psyched but also a bit worried. Don't know what to expect. Musically he and I are on the same page, so that's not a problem. But nevertheless, has anyone else played with relatives in the same band? And how was it?
_________________________
http://www.myspace.com/thedapperdansAfter the various bands you've been in, and the headaches you've seen, you figure having TWO bands at once will be better? - Tom Capasso
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#1645825 - 05/10/05 10:25 PM
Re: Playing in the same band with relatives?
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Randy Combs
Senior Member
Registered: 03/30/04
Posts: 95
Loc: Cedar Rapids,Iowa
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I have been in bands with my brother since 1978. Currently it is My Brother, His son Joey on drums and Me. We gig 2-4 nights a week and it's tough sometimes but we are there for each other, good or bad.
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#1645826 - 05/11/05 02:03 PM
Re: Playing in the same band with relatives?
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SpookyKid
Senior Member
Registered: 04/07/05
Posts: 150
Loc: Ft. Lauderdale
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It all depends on how you separate your family relationship and how you start your working relationship. If your father treats you like a son with in the band. It won't be good for you or the rest of your band members. You should establish that right off the bat. The same goes for you. You should treat him like a singer and not a father while you’re performing. The good part is that you should have great communication. You should have no fear of holding back your feelings towards the music because you already have a relationship.
I can relate to this deeply. Before I moved to Florida, I played with a band where two players were sisters. They had a great relationship and strong commitment to each other that has gotten them a sweet record deal on Lava Records. In there case the relationship works.
When I married my singer/keyboardist, we established our working and married relationship right from the beginning. We have been happily married and playing in the same band since 1997. It works for us because we are best friends, and can easily communicate. The bad part... sometimes the band feels like hired guns because we have always run it. In a way, I think they feel like they are the odd ones out of the circle. It's kind of like joining a group of friends where the group has history and you feel left out. This something I am trying my best to work on.
But here's a case of what happened to me with family a member that didn't work. My brother-in-law joined the band a few years back. You wouldn't believe the drama and all the fights that took place. You see my brother-in-law is very jealous of my husband to begin with. When the hubby is leading the band the brother-in-law would personally take offense. He was so disrespectful. He would yell, scream and freak out. I could never give him constructive criticism. Once he threw a beer bottle at me after a bad gig and it just missed my head. That’s how crazy it got. Oh, I can go on... the stories would amaze you. Now I understand why the Black Crowes keep breaking up. Being in a band like that is no fun.
Anyway, the bottom line. He wasn't a good drummer nor was he a good brother-in-law. So we had to fire him and it did cause a family rift. I don't think he has ever forgiven us, but I still see him at family gatherings.
Sorry to rant....So the moral of the story. Yes it can work. It all depends on how you two will work together.
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