#1645159 - 03/22/05 06:38 PM
Sometimes, it's good to hear a bad band
|
Jeff Klopmeyer
10k Club
Registered: 10/13/00
Posts: 16821
Loc: Redondo Beach,CA,UNITED STATES
|
Offline
|
|
I don't write this to be as mean-spirited as it's going to sound. But...
I just stopped into the coffee place across the street from me, to get some coffee, which is a good thing to get at a coffee place. Inside, there was a guy with an older Yamaha keyboard workstation, along with a gal who held a mic.
As I poured my cuppa joe, they launched into Carole King's classic "It's Too Late". "Launched", perhaps, isn't the right word. First, the guy ditzed around with 18 patterns of supremely cheezy drum patterns before settling on one really iffy choice, anchored by a mysterious backbeat conga.
Then he let the bad drum pattern play while he and the singer tried to figure out a key. She was yelping and yodeling while he skipped around psychotic intervals. So, after a minute of that, she started the first verse.
And I will say, she had a very nice, controlled, somewhat husky alto. It was kind of hard to tell, since she and the keyboard dude shared a single Barbetta amp, and she was getting slammed by the bad piano/string sound he had going. But she was okay.
Be that as it may, the pianist... yikes! Kept missing chords entirely, or (worse) trying really horrible arpeggios when he couldn't get to the next key in time. Then, in the solo section, they managed to trainwreck when the guy skipped to the end and tried to bring it back around, but ended up inverting the beat (snare-kick-snare-kick, oh God kill me now).
They started again at the last verse, the gal does the big ending, and the guy finishes with a flourish, but forgets to turn off the drum machine, which is still blipping away. Then he starts pushing buttons on his Yamaha, seemingly at random, managing to change to a big rock fill after 20 seconds of futile effort. I was literally embarrassed for them.
There were probably 10-12 people in the coffee place, and not a single one acknowledged the duo at the end. I thought of clapping, but decided that I'd seem like more of a jerk being the only applauding one there. So, I put a cap on my coffee and skidaddled on out.
And as I walked home, I thought, "Well, maybe they're just starting out and have never played gigs before, and are nervous and not well prepared." And I thought back to my teenage years, trying to remember my very early days of gigging, and tried to recall a performance of mine that was as hideous as the one I'd just witnessed.
And the answer, friends, was that there wasn't one. I feel better now. 
- Jeff
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
#1645160 - 03/22/05 08:23 PM
Re: Sometimes, it's good to hear a bad band
|
Dak Lander
MP Hall of Fame Member
Registered: 01/10/02
Posts: 7728
Loc: Temecula, LoCal, USA
|
|
Offline
|
|
You are one cold hearted SOB. 
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#1645162 - 03/22/05 10:02 PM
Re: Sometimes, it's good to hear a bad band
|
way2fat
MP Hall of Fame Member
Registered: 02/09/04
Posts: 4121
Loc: Egypt
|
|
Offline
|
|
I'll bet they were better than Jesse Michael Garcia.
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#1645163 - 03/22/05 11:56 PM
Re: Sometimes, it's good to hear a bad band
|
Jeff Klopmeyer
10k Club
Registered: 10/13/00
Posts: 16821
Loc: Redondo Beach,CA,UNITED STATES
|
|
Offline
|
|
I am telling you... I've seen a lot of bad live music, and this ranked down there at the ultimate bottom of the barrel. It just bordered on being comedic.
To my credit, I feel good about not openly laughing, or flinging scalding cups of coffee at them. See, Dak, I'm trying to be a nice guy after all. 
- Jeff
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#1645165 - 03/23/05 09:25 AM
Re: Sometimes, it's good to hear a bad band
|
CMDN
MP Hall of Fame Member
Registered: 11/13/01
Posts: 6058
Loc: Philadelphia,PA,UNITED STATES
|
|
Offline
|
|
Ah yeah...
Funny that Jeff told this story today.
Last night I went to see our old bassist (#3) play with his newest band.
Yikes.
The opening band was a trio with two women and a guy. There were a female bassist and a female guitarist/vocalist and a male drummer. The ladies were dressed really trampishly, which is fine by me, I guess—miniskirts, tight tank tops, high platform boots, etc. The guitarist/singer was playing one of those heart-shaped Daisy Rock guitars through a Fender V-Twin. The bassist had a low-end Ibanez into a Peavey TKO. The drummer was playing a white four-piece Pearl set covered with silver garland a la a Christmas tree. They played together well... but the songs were all one-dimensional, mid-tempo numbers, and the singer had no sense of dynamics. She sang every song at the top of her lungs like a five-year-old. All of the songs were pseudo-jangly laments that seemed to go on for verse after verse with no variation or discernable changes in key or tempo. The trampy outfits certainly didn't match the music, and they were far from compelling performers. Amazingly, this band is a "Jager" band... although I don't think they were able to sell any alcohol no matter how many times they begged people to buy shots. They included some really poorly advised covers—"What's Going On" by 4 Non-Blondes, "Glory Days" by Springsteen, etc. The covers sounded better, but mainly tended to further demonstrate how shitty the band's originals are. They played too long and broke down slowly.
I give the band a C-.
My buddy's band is an Exploited/Black Flag/Crass street-punk type of band. Bondage pants, mohawks, lots of facial peircings. Our old bassist is now a guitarist with a Marshall half-stack and two non-descript, pointy guitars that are covered with stickers. The bassist had a Hartke 4x10 and some kind of sticker-coated bass that looked like it might have been a Fender once. The drummer had a silver set of unknown origin. The singer didn't play any instruments. My buddy busted a string jumping about three chords into the first song, so he switched guitars, but the second guitar was yowling feedback like mad. Trying to help out, I snagged his No.1 guitar and tried to replace the string, but I had no idea where he kept his extras. Plus... his guitar had one of those stupid locking nuts... I gave up. He shrugged and kept playing the yowling guitar. Sounded like stir-fried shit. The singer was a riveting perforrmer.. very entertaining and punk as fuck... but his vocals were out of time and out of tune. The drummer dropped beats and lost time in almost every tune. The bassist was actually pretty good... but my buddy... well.. he plays guitar with no wrist action, so his rhythms are just shady, and he doesn't do leads. He plays guitar like he should be playing a bass. However, the band was fun... in a noisy, sloppy way. They had some enjoyable sing-along moments and silly lyrics about being zombies and stuff. But yeah... they weren't winning any new fans.
I'd say they earned a C. Slightly better than the openers, but they lost points for being so out of time and tune.
Even at our worst, we are never, EVER as bad as what I saw last night.
I don't know if that should make me feel good for my band or bad for the ones I saw...
_________________________
\m/
Erik
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#1645166 - 03/23/05 10:10 AM
Re: Sometimes, it's good to hear a bad band
|
cherri
Gold Member
Registered: 09/10/03
Posts: 731
Loc: N. MI USA
|
|
Offline
|
|
I received the video of the five-band show we put together for Toys for Tots this winter.
I'm not going to slam the other bands because lots of those guys are pals. I can say that when we took the stage, we took command of the night.
The worst part to watch was at the final jam, when everyone who wanted to piled on the stage. I sang, and let another fella play my guitar and amp.
It was painful watching my sweet Dot get mauled by this big beefy dude who couldn't play a lick on a lollypop.
It is affirming and a big confidence builder to see the whole show. It's not a competitive feeling, it's knowing that the guys and I put on a helluva show.
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#1645167 - 03/23/05 12:42 PM
Re: Sometimes, it's good to hear a bad band
|
coyote
MP Hall of Fame Member
Registered: 04/16/01
Posts: 7012
Loc: New York,NY,UNITED STATES
|
|
Offline
|
|
That band played all the way out on the Left Coast? Man, they sure get around.... they were at my local bar here in NY two weeks ago.
Originally posted by Jeff Da Weasel:
Inside, there was a guy with an older Yamaha keyboard workstation, along with a gal who held a mic.
_________________________
I used to think I was Libertarian. Until I saw their platform; now I know I'm no more Libertarian than I am RepubliCrat or neoCON or Liberal or Socialist.
This ain't no track meet; this is football.
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#1645168 - 03/23/05 09:53 PM
Re: Sometimes, it's good to hear a bad band
|
Lee Flier
10k Club
Registered: 09/13/00
Posts: 15398
Loc: Atlanta,GA,UNITED STATES
|
|
Offline
|
|
LOL... hey Jeff, was this at the Dresden Room?
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#1645169 - 03/24/05 11:06 AM
Re: Sometimes, it's good to hear a bad band
|
Jeff Klopmeyer
10k Club
Registered: 10/13/00
Posts: 16821
Loc: Redondo Beach,CA,UNITED STATES
|
|
Offline
|
|
No, it was literally across the street from me here in Redondo at a little Starbucks wanna-be place, a chain called "It's A Grind". They have people play there haphazardly, a few times a month. For the owners' sake, I hope that this particular "gig" was a freebie from these "artistes".
Again, not to unneccesarily rip on these poor folks, but I've heard better performances listening in on a 12-year-old's guitar lesson. 
- Jeff
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#1645170 - 03/24/05 11:43 AM
Re: Sometimes, it's good to hear a bad band
|
way2fat
MP Hall of Fame Member
Registered: 02/09/04
Posts: 4121
Loc: Egypt
|
|
Offline
|
|
"...sounded like stir-fried shit."
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#1645171 - 03/24/05 11:47 PM
Re: Sometimes, it's good to hear a bad band
|
Picker
MP Hall of Fame Member
Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 7118
Loc: A few miles fro the corner of ...
|
Online
|
|
the only thing worse than having to listen to a lousy band is being in one. It's really hard to walk out on yourself....
_________________________
ROCK GUITARIST ABDUCTED BY ALIENS AND RETURNED TO EARTH!
Anal probe wouldn't fit past his head!
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#1645172 - 03/25/05 05:40 AM
Re: Sometimes, it's good to hear a bad band
|
Muddy Run
Senior Member
Registered: 05/23/04
Posts: 343
Loc: USA
|
|
Offline
|
|
Sheeit...I just wish I could go out and hear a GOOD local band...seems like they all pulled out about 15 yrs ago...but then I don't get out a lot either so I may just be going to the wrong shows...
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#1645173 - 03/25/05 08:19 AM
Re: Sometimes, it's good to hear a bad band
|
Steve in KS
Senior Member
Registered: 11/09/03
Posts: 382
Loc: Wichita, Kansas
|
|
Offline
|
|
Originally posted by Jeff Da Weasel:
. . . To my credit, I feel good about not openly laughing, or flinging scalding cups of coffee at them. . . .
Seriously, this is one of the most entertaining threads I've read for a while. Great writing. Jeff, Cherri, Erik, you should all consider a column in your local papers reviewing live music acts. Some great descriptive writing!
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#1645174 - 03/25/05 09:14 AM
Re: Sometimes, it's good to hear a bad band
|
Green657
Senior Member
Registered: 03/17/03
Posts: 102
Loc: Albany NY
|
|
Offline
|
|
Sometimes, if you're in the right kind of mood, going to see a crappy band is more entertaining than seeing a good band. Especially if the crappy band has no idea that they are crappy.
I saw a bad band (who all thought they were certified rock stars) a while back where the following HIGH-LARIOUS things happened:
1. Trying to be "badass" the singer, pumping his fist while holding the mic, lost his grip on it, smashing it to the floor. The understandably pissed sound guy refused to give him a replacement forcing him to use the cap-less broken one.
2. Insulted about not getting a new mic for the next song, singer grabs bass players mic off his stand and immediately tries jumping out into the crowd. Unfortunately he forgot to unwind it from the bass players stand, dragging it and a monitor into the audience.
3. Combine rock star egos with badly written tunes by a band that can only be described as "Buckcherry with a Learning Disability" and you get a recipe for Comedy Gold.
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#1645175 - 03/25/05 05:46 PM
Re: Sometimes, it's good to hear a bad band
|
dondottcomm
Senior Member
Registered: 06/28/01
Posts: 261
Loc: Orlando Fl.
|
|
Offline
|
|
Originally posted by CMDN:
The opening band was a trio with two women and a guy. There were a female bassist and a female guitarist/vocalist and a male drummer. The ladies were dressed really trampishly, which is fine by me, I guess—miniskirts, tight tank tops, high platform boots, etc. The guitarist/singer was playing one of those heart-shaped Daisy Rock guitars through a Fender V-Twin. The bassist had a low-end Ibanez into a Peavey TKO. The drummer was playing a white four-piece Pearl set covered with silver garland a la a Christmas tree. They played together well... but the songs were all one-dimensional, mid-tempo numbers, and the singer had no sense of dynamics. She sang every song at the top of her lungs like a five-year-old. All of the songs were pseudo-jangly laments that seemed to go on for verse after verse with no variation or discernable changes in key or tempo. The trampy outfits certainly didn't match the music, and they were far from compelling performers. Amazingly, this band is a "Jager" band... although I don't think they were able to sell any alcohol no matter how many times they begged people to buy shots. They included some really poorly advised covers—"What's Going On" by 4 Non-Blondes, "Glory Days" by Springsteen, etc. The covers sounded better, but mainly tended to further demonstrate how shitty the band's originals are. They played too long and broke down slowly.
I give the band a C-.
I feel bad for lousy bands/performances..I've been there
_________________________
What? you mean I can take this block of fine swiss and make a song??...COOL!
Don
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
