#1645150 - 03/22/05 03:20 PM
NEED A RECORD DEAL???
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img2002
Member
Registered: 02/16/02
Posts: 7
Loc: la,CA,UNITED STATES
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Reputable music promotions company is now seeking talent for industry showcasing. Free reviews are available to the first 250 artists to respond.
Reply's to this post do not count as a response. You must respond through our webpage or via e-mail to qualify. Visit http://clix.to/img or contact carson_derek1@hotmail.com
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#1645152 - 03/24/05 08:36 AM
Re: NEED A RECORD DEAL???
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way2fat
MP Hall of Fame Member
Registered: 02/09/04
Posts: 4121
Loc: Egypt
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Would this be the standard rip-off?
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#1645153 - 04/15/05 11:55 AM
Re: NEED A RECORD DEAL???
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GTRBass
Gold Member
Registered: 12/03/03
Posts: 598
Loc: Los Angeles, Ca
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No, this would be the extra special deluxe rip-off.
Dear desperate musician,
Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Kualo, and I am from the African nation of Zamunda. I have an incredible opportunity for you. A man named Joseph Mbutu recently passed away after a long and happy life. While he was little known outside Zamunda, Joseph was the largest shareholder in a big record company called BMG. He had no heirs and his estate is in probate.
As you are a sorry and desperate (and hopefully tremedously stupid) person, I have for you the opportunity of a lifetime. HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO BECOME THE LARGEST SHAREHOLDER IN A MAJOR RECORD COMPANY???? Just think of it, once you have wrested control of this internatioal conglomerate away from those silly people who haven't recognized your exceptional talent, you can simply terminate their employment and sign yourself!!! How about that!
You see I was Joseph's humble and loyal servant for many years. He promised me all of his holdings in his diamond mines and record companies on his deathbed. As I will become fabulously wealthy from the diamond mines, I have no need for the record company holdings and I am not a musician, so I know nothing of this business of music. I need your help and in return I will give you the business.
My good brother, here is what I need from you to accomplish this for us. You see as I was Joseph's humble servant I am very poor. I do not have the money for the the court fee which will give me the rights to all of Joseph's assets. It must be paid in advance. I need you to send me $1,000 dollars US so I can pay the attorney and the court fee. While that isn't very much money to you in the US, in Zamuda the average yearly income is about $39.99 US. So you see there is no one here in this poor African country who I can turn to in this great hour of need. In return for your support, I will assign to you all of his stock in BMG.
Please send me as soon as possible:
Your full legal name
Current home address
Date of Birth
Social Security number
Driver's license number
Account number for a bank account which has at least $1,000 available funds.
Credit Card numbers (for verification only.)
I will pay the court fee and send you a letter that you will present to the board of BMG entitling you to become chairman as you will be the largest stockholder.
Think of it my dear brother, we are on our way to having our dreams come true. Don't delay or the government will take away all of Joseph's assets and King Mufasa will use the money to build some more palaces and buy fancy cars.
Thank you dear brother,
Kualo
Ha'kuna Mi'ta'ta
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#1645154 - 05/07/05 06:07 AM
Re: NEED A RECORD DEAL???
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martianrebel
Senior Member
Registered: 04/14/03
Posts: 386
Loc: Toronto, Ontario, CANADA
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GTRBass.
You crack me up, man! 
I hate ignorant f*cksticks that pray on stupid, desparate people.
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#1645155 - 05/07/05 06:11 AM
Re: NEED A RECORD DEAL???
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Tedster
MP Hall of Fame Member
Registered: 09/21/00
Posts: 5933
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I just signed a deal with RCA records!
Yup, I get 10 CDs for a penny if I buy 10 more at regular club prices!
_________________________
"Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine...(WAH WAH WAH WAHHH!)"
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#1645156 - 05/07/05 09:00 AM
Re: NEED A RECORD DEAL???
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Jon Doe
Gold Member
Registered: 06/11/04
Posts: 691
Loc: Seattle
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Damn, how come nobody ever breezes through offering real estate deals? That's what I need, a real estate deal ...
_________________________
"You're 18 otters, G. Don't worry. It's gonna be off the hook."
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#1645157 - 05/07/05 01:10 PM
Re: NEED A RECORD DEAL???
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GZsound
MP Hall of Fame Member
Registered: 01/17/01
Posts: 6074
Loc: Somewhere in Oregon
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Hey!! Call me. Real Estate and mortgage loans is what I do..
And you guys really upset me with your mockery.. I happen to be a share holder in N'Tmbaa Records of Somalia which produced our last album which went Plywood in six weeks.
Of course, I now have no credit, no house, no income and no assets..but I do OWN A RECORD COMPANY!!
so there..
_________________________
Mark G.
"A man may fail many times, but he isn't a failure until he begins to blame others" -- John Burroughs
"I consider ethics, as well as religion, as supplements to law in the government of man." -- Thomas Jefferson
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#1645158 - 05/07/05 06:58 PM
Re: NEED A RECORD DEAL???
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Dak Lander
MP Hall of Fame Member
Registered: 01/10/02
Posts: 7728
Loc: Temecula, LoCal, USA
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Originally posted by Jon Doe:
Damn, how come nobody ever breezes through offering real estate deals? That's what I need, a real estate deal ...
Call me now at 900-555-5555 (only $14.95 per minute) for a recorded message oulining the complete program, and to order the full information packet at a reduced price of only five, count 'em 5, easy installments of $595.99. You won't be sorry.
If you're serious, PM me, that's what I do.
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