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I hold these truths to be self evident...


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The TV Remote vis a vis Wife It is only by epic self-discipline on both our parts that we don't argue about the TV Remote to the exclusion of all else. It does the TV Remote a disservice to suggest that it is only the cause of four types of argument, but space, you will understand, is limited so I must concentrate on the main ones. 1) Ownership of the TV Remote: this is signified by its being on the arm of the chair/sofa closest to you - it is more important than life itself. 2) On those blood-freezing occasions when you look up from your seat to discover that the TV Remote is still lying on top of the TV, then one of you must retrieve it; who shall it be? And how will this affect (1)? 3) Disappearance of the TV Remote. Precisely who had it last will be hotly disputed, witnesses may be called. Things can turn very nasty indeed when the person who isn't looking for it is revealed to be unknowingly sitting on it. 4) The TV Remote is a natural nomad and sometimes, may the Lord protect us, it goes missing for whole days. During these dark times, someone must actually, in an entirely literal sense, get up to change the channel; International Law decrees that this, "will not be the person who did it last" - but can this be ascertained? Without the police becoming involved? Oxycotin anyone? (note to John Ashcroft, I have a prescription)

"Our constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other." -- John Adams

 

"I am a senior member, and thereby entilted to all the privileges and rights accorded said status"

-- NBR

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[quote]Originally posted by Bolt Rifles: [b] 2) On those blood-freezing occasions when you look up from your seat to discover that the TV Remote is still lying on top of the TV, then one of you must retrieve it; [/b][/quote]Why would anyone place the remote [b]on the tv[/b]? What's the point in that...

Seriously, what the f*ck with the candles? Where does this candle impulse come from, and in what other profession does it get expressed?

-steve albini

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[quote]Originally posted by thegreatspace Coaster: [b]TROLL[/b][/quote]What is your problem coaster? Care to elaborate?

"Our constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other." -- John Adams

 

"I am a senior member, and thereby entilted to all the privileges and rights accorded said status"

-- NBR

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Why don't you guys just leave me alone? This really hurts! WAAAAA...WAAAAA....WAAAA!! P.S. Bralalala, (Hannibal Lecter voice here), [i]Love your suit.[/i]

"Our constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other." -- John Adams

 

"I am a senior member, and thereby entilted to all the privileges and rights accorded said status"

-- NBR

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[quote]Originally posted by nursers: [b]Coaster is saying that the house troll should get the remote off the TV.... :) [/b][/quote]I love you.

"Our constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other." -- John Adams

 

"I am a senior member, and thereby entilted to all the privileges and rights accorded said status"

-- NBR

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[quote]Originally posted by TheWewus: [b]Sic 'Em BOLT. GET 'Em Boy!!!!!![/b][/quote]TheWewus, you knucklehead! I can't stay mad at you, you big lug!!

"Our constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other." -- John Adams

 

"I am a senior member, and thereby entilted to all the privileges and rights accorded said status"

-- NBR

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[quote]Originally posted by whitefang: [b]That's "SIC" 'em, wewus, not SICK! WAIT! Maybe you're RIGHT! Whitefang[/b][/quote]Brilliant!!

"Our constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other." -- John Adams

 

"I am a senior member, and thereby entilted to all the privileges and rights accorded said status"

-- NBR

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