petros Posted May 23, 2003 Share Posted May 23, 2003 Bass player offenses/fines list forwarded by Bill O'Connell-Chicago Skyliners Big Band Name of offender _____________________________ Date of offense(s) _____ / _____ / _______ Musical offenses Playing loudly during warm up $10 Sound-checking amp with funk slapping $25 Loud cursing after mistake $10 Playing high and fast after mistake $20 Practicing 2-handed tapping between tunes $20 Asking for "E" tuning note $25 Playing E anyway when horns tune to Bb $50 Playing written-out walking line $50 Failure to play written walking line $75 Writing note names over ledger-line notes $50 Writing beat numbers under dotted figures $50 Playing eighth notes $5 each Playing sixteenth notes $10 each Playing above 1st octave-immediate dismissal Dragging fast tempo $75 Dragging ballad tempo $100 Blacking out during ballad $200 Ignoring drummer's tempo $100 Following drummer's tempo $250 Asking to borrow Real Book for All Of Me $1000 Upright player offenses Showing up before first downbeat $25 Playing audibly $25 Faking changes $25 Slapping $150 Missing tutti lick, then mentioning vintage of bass $25 Excessive sweating $25 Pedal point double-stops during horn solo $50 Asking leader for a solo $30 Accepting solo when offered $50 Taking second chorus $100 Playing solo arco $400 Pretending to check tuning after playing out of tune $25 Playing "A Train" ending on every tune $200 Playing extended "A Train" ending on every tune $500 Electric player offenses Checking hair between tunes $15 Experimenting with odd meters $25 Missing root at end of blistering fill $25 Playing with a pick $50 Tuning during ballad $30 Playing Jaco groove on samba $75 Playing Jaco samba groove on ballad $150 Attempting last word on final chord $50 Achieving last word on final chord $100 Long gliss down to final note $200 Equipment violationselectric Forgetting strap $10 Changing strings after every set $15 Using electric tuner $15 Setting up mic "just in case" $75 Forgetting to turn amp on $40 Bringing amp larger than 1 person can carry in 1 trip $50 Asking horn player for help moving amp $25 Bringing custom-made bass $100 per string above 4 Bringing more than 1 bass $100 per extra bass Skull decals on bass $150 Bringing fretless bass $500 Criminal bad taste Telling bone player about all the gigs you get $10 Asking bone player about their day gig $10 Sitting behind drums on break $10 Quoting "Birdland" $25 Practicing scales during break $25 Practicing scales during drum solo $50 Practicing $150 Beginning a sentence with "When I was a guitar player" $50 Casually mentioning to Musical Director of cheap theater that you are "into sequencing" $100 Basic stupidity Wearing old Buddy Rich tour shirt $10 Wearing new Whitesnake tour shirt $20 Asking when the rock set starts $20 Continually asking "where are we?" $25 Continually shouting "Yeah!" $25 Asking bone player where "1" is $50 Taking cellphone call during 4's $100 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimmieWannaB Posted May 24, 2003 Share Posted May 24, 2003 Funny stuff. I think they missed "Attempting guitar lead on bass - $200" Someone needs to come up with the keyboardist version. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rod S Posted May 24, 2003 Share Posted May 24, 2003 Originally posted by JimmieWannaB: Someone needs to come up with the keyboardist version.I started a thread a while back... apparently some people got offended with some of the stuff I said.. oh well http://www.musicgearnetwork.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=18;t=001517 Korg Kronos X73 / ARP Odyssey / Motif ES Rack / Roland D-05 / JP-08 / SE-05 / Jupiter Xm / Novation Mininova / NL2X / Waldorf Pulse II MBP-LOGIC American Deluxe P-Bass, Yamaha RBX760 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimmieWannaB Posted May 24, 2003 Share Posted May 24, 2003 I started a thread a while back... apparently some people got offended with some of the stuff I said.. This qroup thin-skinned? The way we throw insults around like rice at a wedding (talk about struggling for a metaphor), I find that hard to believe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Bryce Posted May 24, 2003 Share Posted May 24, 2003 Originally posted by Rod S: I started a thread a while back... apparently some people got offended with some of the stuff I said.. oh well. I just reread through that thread...it's pretty funny. I didn't see the part where anyone got upset, though - did I miss something? ...unless you meant Chris100 (Job) making noise about the sequenced parts...I'm still not sure that he was actually pissed... dB ==> David Bryce Music • Funky Young Monks <== Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Addix Metzatricity Posted May 24, 2003 Share Posted May 24, 2003 Originally posted by petros: Bass player offenses/fines list forwarded by Bill O'Connell-Chicago Skyliners Big Band Hey!!! I'm offended... Well... Not really. But I should be! "Upright player offenses Showing up before first downbeat $25 " That's funnier than I'm sure most of you realize. Sometimes we sit there for two pages before we get to play our single 8 bar long note. "Bass isn't just for breakfast anymore..." http://www.mp3.com/Addix_Metzatricity Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RudyS Posted May 24, 2003 Share Posted May 24, 2003 BTW Petros. as we talk about bass players now, how was the gig with the upright bass player with the bad intonation??? Rudy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobT Posted May 24, 2003 Share Posted May 24, 2003 LOL! Sounds like we can't win for losing. I have a couple for the keyboard list... Ah nevermind. You guys can do it all with your left hand anyway. RobT Famous Musical Quotes: "I would rather play Chiquita Banana and have my swimming pool than play Bach and starve" - Xavier Cugat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rod S Posted May 25, 2003 Share Posted May 25, 2003 Originally posted by Dave Bryce: I just reread through that thread...it's pretty funny. I didn't see the part where anyone got upset, though - did I miss something? ...unless you meant Chris100 (Job) making noise about the sequenced parts...I'm still not sure that he was actually pissed... dBWell, I was being a bit sarcastic. Even if Chris was upset, I think it's pretty silly to be upset at a thread like this... Actually, what I think got me started on this thread was a similar thread in the bass forum at the time, if memory serves right. Weird. Korg Kronos X73 / ARP Odyssey / Motif ES Rack / Roland D-05 / JP-08 / SE-05 / Jupiter Xm / Novation Mininova / NL2X / Waldorf Pulse II MBP-LOGIC American Deluxe P-Bass, Yamaha RBX760 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Horne Posted May 25, 2003 Share Posted May 25, 2003 I never did this, but heard this from a bass player ... if you ever really want to piss off an acoustic bass player, place a coin inside the bass just before he goes on stage. I can also imagine a sardine if left in long enough would also work some magic. I have never done this, but have only heard the stories. No guitarists were harmed during the making of this message. In general, harmonic complexity is inversely proportional to the ratio between chording and non-chording instruments. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rick K. Posted May 25, 2003 Share Posted May 25, 2003 Originally posted by Dave Horne: I never did this, but heard this from a bass player ... if you ever really want to piss off an acoustic bass player, place a coin inside the bass just before he goes on stage. I can also imagine a sardine if left in long enough would also work some magic. I have never done this, but have only heard the stories.Oh... that would be sooooo mean!! Our bass player always has to doodle around on his bass when I tell him we're now 'live'. (i.e. unmuted) Since he's direct it's the only time he can hear himself. However, it kinda takes away from the impact we have on our very first note we play. Just a infraction I think worthy of a fine.... Rick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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