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Best Keyboard Joke?


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Just saw this. Apologies if we have been inflicted with this in another thread

 

Folding 88.

 

If it had USB I would actually give it a second look.

 

Jake

 

Edit: Just saw in the expanded description that it supposedly does MIDI over USB

 

Hmmmmmmmm.........

1967 B-3 w/(2) 122's, Nord C1w/Leslie 2101 top, Nord PedalKeys 27, Nord Electro 4D, IK B3X, QSC K12.2, Yamaha reface YC+CS+CP

 

"It needs a Hammond"

 

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So I was playing this bar downtown a couple years ago â the usual piano bar gig.

 

I had a little pet monkey who'd run around the premises occasionally, picking out some peanuts and collecting tips in a little hat.

 

At one point, a patron comes over and says, "Hey, do you know your monkey's dunking his balls in my beer?"

 

â¦

 

"No, but if you'll hum a few bars, maybe I can fake it."

"The Angels of Libra are in the European vanguard of the [retro soul] movement" (Bill Buckley, Soul and Jazz and Funk)

The Drawbars | off jazz organ trio

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My favourite is a graphic, which I can't find any more:

 

- Guy + Drumkit = Guy and Girl

- Guy + Microphone = Guy and 2-3 Girls

- Guy + Guitar = Guy and 2-3 Girls, and also a couple of guys

- Guy + Bass = Guy

 

...

 

- Guy + Keyboard = Guy, and a bunch of cats

 

Cheers, Mike.

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Those wry Piano Bar cartoons from The New Yorker.

 

My favourites:

 

"This one goes out to all those little people who helped me on the way down."

 

and a sign by the tip jar: "Requests: $5, 'Feelings:' $50."

 

I'd change it to "Piano Man" but there ya go.

____________________________________
Rod

Here for the gear.

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A musician joke, adapted to keyboard:

St. Peter in Heaven is checking ID's.

He asks a man, "What did you do on Earth?"

The man says, "I was a doctor."

St. Peter says, "Ok, go right through those pearly gates."

"Next! What did you do on Earth?"

"I was a school teacher."

"Go right through those pearly gates."

"Next! And what did you do on Earth?"

"I was a keyboard player."

"Go around the side, up the freight elevator, through the kitchen ..."

These are only my opinions, not supported by any actual knowledge, experience, or expertise.
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When I started this thread I was referring to the Folding Piano 88, but I guess I was too in the pocket regarding the title. I actually ordered this with high hopes that it would be a great stowaway on a vacation allowing me to enjoy B3X with a full range of keys plus. I was wrong, but I still stand behind the thread title.

 

http://pic20.picturetrail.com/VOL96/792815/4063775/414495455.jpg

 

A few problems regarding assembly, mainly that it has to be supported along it's whole length - the hinge locks do nothing regarding flex. So no X stands for this critter.

 

http://pic20.picturetrail.com/VOL96/792815/4063775/414495454.jpg

 

As some of you have guessed it's soundset is General MIDI, right down to the helicopter and cheezy applause. For $100.00 USD that was a given, along with no velocity sensing.

 

BIGGEST DRAWBACK:

 

http://pic20.picturetrail.com/VOL96/792815/4063775/414495457.jpg

 

http://pic20.picturetrail.com/VOL96/792815/4063775/414495456.jpg

 

http://pic20.picturetrail.com/VOL96/792815/4063775/414495458.jpg

 

The accidental keys are aptly named, since there's hardly any vertical spacing between them and the naturals. As bad as my arthritic fingers are I can still manage a Gm7 chord voiced F-Bb-D, but with this board I'm also grabbing the B natural without intending to. No amount of slowing down for precision technique can avert this. I can play my Reface keyboards way cleaner than this.

 

I'm sure this device will find an audience somewhere, but any of us contemplating it being used as a backup board or light schlepp gig should give it a demo before biting this bullet. I didn't even give it a full battery charge before I repacked it, so I didn't try it as a MIDI controller. I can fat finger my own mistakes, so I certainly don't need a keyboard that helps in that regard.

 

Jake

1967 B-3 w/(2) 122's, Nord C1w/Leslie 2101 top, Nord PedalKeys 27, Nord Electro 4D, IK B3X, QSC K12.2, Yamaha reface YC+CS+CP

 

"It needs a Hammond"

 

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Sometimes, something is so bad that it is good.

This doesn't look like one of those times.

 

I want to try bass pedals.

I saw a roll out piano"keyboard" in a box with a photo of children dancing on it and rocking out. It was a few bucks at Goodwill. I left it there, might have missed out but I'm certain there will be more of them scattered about. It might be fun, for about 2 minutes.

 

OK, a feeble attempt at a joke, in honor of the title.

 

Two keyboard players were trying to get into their apartment but the door was locked. The first one said "Do you have the key?"

The second one said "F# minor 7 +9 augminished chord but the b5 is a demented chord..."

It took a chunk of my life to get here and I am still not sure where "here" is.
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My favourite is a graphic, which I can't find any more:

 

- Guy + Drumkit = Guy and Girl

- Guy + Microphone = Guy and 2-3 Girls

- Guy + Guitar = Guy and 2-3 Girls, and also a couple of guys

- Guy + Bass = Guy

 

...

 

- Guy + Keyboard = Guy, and a bunch of cats

 

Cheers, Mike.

 

 

- Guy who teaches keyboard + Keyboard = Guy who can't get gigs or girls and can't afford to feed the cats.

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The ironic thing: there is no respected "travel keyboard" today.

 

The piano du voyage looks to be a real candidate, were it available. I think that is groups of Fatar keys, maybe the TP100.

 

Which is fine. But not the lightest. Imagine the same concept, except built around the legendary TP8/S, which if I have my numbers right, are the keys oft reported as "the best synth keys I ever played", or the TP8/O, which are the closest Fatar product to a real hammond.

 

So this is not a matter of technology. It's a matter of implementation. The internet is full of threads with requests and suggestions for such a product. Yet the lumbering corporations are aparently unaware. The end user is an object for lip service, rather than attention, maybe. The recent dropping of AT by Roland and Yamaha in otherwise sophistaticated products a case in point.

 

Roland would be the obvious candidate to produce a good one, since they could drop in the guts of the A-Pro which can send many variations of sysx as needed. But they would need to use some better keys, I think. The A-pro keys are "just good enough" for synth use.

 

A good quality travel keyboard is low hanging fruit for any number of companies. How many would we sell? The free attention alone in this desert (travel keyboards) would pay development costs. At $500ish something truly decent would sell easily.

 

It's just as low hanging for some enthusiast who can raise money, and make contacts in the east, or italy.

RT-3/U-121/Leslie 21H and 760/Saltarelle Nuage/MOXF6/MIDIhub, 

SL-880/Nektar T4/Numa Cx2/Deepmind12/Virus TI 61/SL61 mk2

Stylophone R8/Behringer RD-8/Proteus 1/MP-7/Zynthian 4

MPC1k/JV1010/Unitor 8/Model D & 2600/WX-5&7/VL70m/DMP-18 Pedals

Natal drums/congas etc & misc bowed/plucked/blown instruments. 

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