OT: To Thanksgiving or not to Thanksgiving

[SamuelBLupowitz]

Maybe we need a Thanksgiving KC hang...?

 

dB

Maybe Black Friday instead? That might keep me from buying gear I don't need.

 

Hah. Haha. Hahahahahahaha.

[Mighty Motif Max]

Thanksgiving used to be a fairly big holiday for our family...my aunt, uncle, my two cousins, my great-grandma, two great-aunts, grandmother and grandfather, and our family of five. So 14 people. It slowly shrank in size as my cousins grew up and quit coming, aunt divorced, my great grandmother and grandmother passed away, and one great-aunt switched to her side of the family's Thanksgiving. It was down to about 8 people. Since my family moved more or less into the wilderness a few years ago, we don't have anyone over other than my grandfather, who moved to the same area but lives in a different house. He's over for dinner every night anyways so there isn't much risk for us. So it will basically be normal. 6 people who are together most of the time anyways in two households.

[cp-the-nerd]

My wife and I usually have a stressful day of appeasing our two separate family dinners and struggling not to dramatically over-eat, but this year with covid it gave us an excuse to split up and each enjoy our own family thanksgiving in full.

 

I don't know what my state covid policy on household gatherings is and I don't care. At this point we all know what daily behaviors reduce risk and we know who the most vulnerable people are in our lives. Use that information wisely and do whatever your family is comfortable with.

[OB Dave]

Shout out to my sister - their home has spectacular gardens

 

How spectacular could these gardens possibly be? click. Holy crap!

 

Yeah, I think spectacular might be under-selling it a bit. Anyway, shame it won't be in the family much longer. That looks like a really special spot.

 

As for Thanksgiving, we're gonna pull the plug on both Thanksgiving and Christmas this year. Not worth the risk. Both of my brothers have teens and young adults that come and go constantly and.. yeah... F that noise. In lieu of Christmas presents I think we should all donate to our local food banks instead.

 

As stated earlier: we're so close to the finish line, let's not blow it now. And in the meantime, numbers are spiking like crazy here in the US.

[EricBarker]

My wife and I live across the country from our families. I think we're going to make a nice meal for ourselves (I got a yummy Cornish Gamehen), maybe make some adult eggnog, and do a Multi-Zoom with our two families. We've done this on a few other occasions, usually all ordering Thai takeout at the same time (we all love Thai food), and making a night of it. Honestly, it's different but no less wonderful.

 

So no, not cancelling Thanksgiving at all, just tweaking it.

[Moonglow]

This year it will be just my wife and I. I understand there are a finite number of Thanksgivings, but it just doesn't feel right this year. My mom is 89 years old and we would ordinarily invite her over to our house, as well as our daughter and her boyfriend, but strongly suspect they (like many young adults) have not been playing by the social-distancing rules. In a weird sort of way I kind of envy, but ultimately saddened by, folks who don't vibrate on that frequency.

 

I plan to go to the local butcher and get a couple of prime-grade New York strips or fillets, cook on the grill to medium-rare, and top with a pad of butter. Might even get adventurous with a couple of lobster tails. My wife will make her famous double-baked potatoes and probably some creamed spinach. Of course, enjoyed with a bottle of Merlot. Will be thankful, most of all, for sitting at the table.

[Anderton]

It's gonna be a Zoomsgiving for me. I know it's not the same thing as getting together in person, but the upside is that people from all over the place can participate.

[MoodyBluesKeys]

We would have gathered at my Daughter's, only .5 miles away, with my wife, self, possibly one daughter that is local and her daughter across the state. Also Brother in law's brother, daughter's mother and her husband (from my first marriage).

 

Discussed and decided not to do so. I'm not a turkey lover anyhow (after both her at home kids were gone, we went to a Mexican restaurant that Thanksgiving). I will be providing a talk for our local church congregation (either pastor & I will do it back and forth; or I will record it myself with different still pics and it will be streamed) on the First Thanksgiving, 399 years ago, with numerous quotes from Elder William Brewster, my 10th great-grandfather, who was there.

 

Its all good. As mentioned, hopefully within a few months the vaccine will have put 2020 in the rear-view mirror. NOT political, but the idea of having a bunch of companies working on vaccines at the same time, and providing funding for the added quick development, was a GOOD idea.

 

We are not locked down like some states. There are some regulations, such as how many can gather indoors/outdoors. Masks are strongly encouraged, but do have exceptions for those who can not use them (although a lot of people haven't gotten the message). We go out as needed, and occasionally have a restaurant meal (out last one we went about 3:30 in the afternoon, and had the whole dining area to ourselves for most of the time we were there. No one within 20 feet or so even then).

[David Emm]

Magic 8-Ball says "Stay home, doofus." I've seen too much evidence over the years to deny Science. Its pretty absolute and has no button you can push to make a natural system "care." How people can carp about freedom and buck against masks is beyond me. You've probably had someone sneeze or cough on you in the past. When I see slo-mo video of droplets going 10-20 feet, I believe it, duh. New t-shirt: VIRUS DON'T CARE. "We the People" scare me beyond anything else, because bad judgement by enough people will almost inevitably spill over onto everyone. "We're Number One" can easily become "Four of my family have died from this thing." It smells all too much like several 70s apocalyptic epics, post-nukes/post-bio-warfare/post-epidemic.

 

I know part of how this will play out, with vaccines appearing and things regrouping to some extent, but the ongoing health issues of the post-infected, the social damage to isolated kids, the economic blows & the political response won't resolve quickly, if at all. Giving up your holidays to preserve others should be part of the lesson, not something to resist. Oh, listen to the bitching, when millions around the world would kill to have half of what we have. I can wear a mask & gloves against a virus, but not against Stupid.

 

A comic whose name escapes me brilliantly said "My 6-year-old son's lesson plans ran out. Today he'll be learning about 'The Fifth Element.'" For Thanksgiving, it'll be a few fun Hiya calls and then I'll be learning more about '"Boardwalk Empire." Its some nasty, brilliant work, which makes me thankful that I did not live in that time period. Hey kid, ya wanna see some history, in all its gritty glory? No. No, you don't.

[pinkfloydcramer]

I don't know what my state covid policy on household gatherings is and I don't care. At this point we all know what daily behaviors reduce risk and we know who the most vulnerable people are in our lives. Use that information wisely and do whatever your family is comfortable with.

 

This is by far, the best take I have seen on the subject. Sorry, but no one is going to be shamed into giving up their holidays by being called a selfish, uncaring cretin if they don't. Because shaming requires the consent of the one(s) shamed, and you're not going to get it, all you're going to get is a bunch of people telling you to piss up a rope..

[Bobadohshe]

Was planning on taking me wife and 19 month old daughter over to my sister's 20 min away. They have 2 middle schoolers. And also my mom heading over to theirs. So 2.5 households. With the unprecedented spike going on, I am reconsidering even this moderately safe seeming get together. I want no part of this virus.

[TommyRude]

yeah... not the great in-person family time we'd normally have with our families. But we still have a lot to be thankful for, we still have our health, our close friends and family are healthy, thankful that there appears to be light at the end of the tunnel. We'll have a great meal, zoom with our families, hunker down for a while longer and navigate through to the other side of this thing.

[Al Quinn]

My wife and I will be having Thanksgiving alone this year. We've passed on a couple of invites from family. While we're comfortable doing things outdoors around other people (e.g., I have an outdoor gig in Huntington on Sunday!), indoor gatherings feel too risky to us. Soon it will be too cold on Long Island for most outdoor activities which is a sad reality.

[Winston Psmith]

Me, my wife, our two dogs, that's it.

 

I'm the last of my tribe, but my wife comes from a large family, and its hard for them to be apart during the holidays. It's not unusual to have 15 people or so at the dinner table for Thanksgiving or Christmas. This year, everyone is sticking to their own household. We're in the D.C. area, which has had its own rise in Covid-19 cases; not as bad as some parts of the country, but bad enough to keep us at home. I don't want to get sick, and I don't want to get anyone else sick, it's that simple.

 

Wishing everyone here the best, whatever our holiday plan may be.

[Dr Mike Metlay]

TL;DR -- I am venting here. Please forgive and/or ignore me.

 

Thanksgiving was always a very big deal for my family... not the family I grew up in (which liked it too) but for the family I have gathered around myself over the years. It was understood that no matter what, if you could get to where Mike and Suzanne were living, you'd have camaraderie and a good meal. People have come from all over the world when things are well, and if they aren't -- if folks are been stuck away from home due to snowstorms, or have loved ones too far away and are alone and miserable -- all are welcome to reach out to us for one good meal, some drinks, and kind conversation, sometimes ending with sleeping on a couch if the liquor flowed too freely. That, and Passover, were the holidays where we always opened our home and were happy to see everyone. "Are we having the orphans again this year?" "So nu, what else should we do?"

 

And then came 2020.

 

Governor Jared Polis of Colorado is well-liked for his polite but pithy turns of phrase when giving speeches. Most recently: "For families who do want to get together [...], the more family members who make the decision to self-quarantine, the more likely it is that you're not bringing a loaded pistol to Grandma's head." Two big thumbs up, Jared.

 

Despite all the holiday means to us (for the people... we aren't fans of the food, to be honest), cancelling was a pretty easy decision. My wife and daughter and I are staying right here and probably going to order in a Thanksgiving Which Wich and call it good. We'll see the family and distant friends throughout the day via Zoom.

 

Unfortunately, for health reasons a couple of our very best local friends have a harder time getting together with folks in person (even before the pandemic), and this meal had been a vital lifeline for them in the holiday season. They did not take the news with aplomb, and went through the Five Stages of Grief via a series of texts.

 

In one case, the entire process took maybe 10 minutes of texting:

 

Denial (weather's going to be beautiful that day, we can eat in your back yard, I can do without a bathroom for six hours)

to

Anger (well, that sucks)

to

Bargaining (I was gonna make a whole cheesecake for you guys, too)

to

Depression (well, that REALLY sucks)

to

Acceptance (meh, it's all for the best in the end, love you guys, see you on Zoom, and just remember that I'll be holding that cheesecake hostage in exchange for some latkes delivered at Chanukah).

 

In the other case, it's been freaking murder on me -- and me alone, since my wife can't handle emotional judo at all:

 

Denial (can you guys make crispy Brussels sprouts with bacon as a side dish? what do you mean, "why"? for Thanksgiving, silly)

to

Anger (you guys have been effectively self-quarantined for months and so have I, so we'd be safe together -- you're staying away just to hurt me)

to

Bargaining (what if I order us all a really fancy meal from our favorite BBQ place - a whole smoked turkey with all the trimmings, my treat?)...

 

I am hoping that my counteroffer (that he's free to buy whatever food he wants and that we'll leave a bunch of empty Tupperware on his doorstep for him to fill with leftovers) finally moves him to Depression, preferably before he spends well over $300 on a meal he'll end up eating alone.

 

With less than a week left to go, I think we'll never make Acceptance.

 

End of vent. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. Keep those close to you closer still, stay safe, and don't do anything stupid. Please?

 

mike

[Docbop]

I just got back from a trip to the doctor, first one on one doctor visit in over a year. Outside the medical building the long lines of cars waiting for covid testing has returned and they've setup a second test area to handle the long lines. A month or two ago cars waiting for covid testing was only a few cars total. I see that and I'm definitely not going anywhere for Thanksgiving. I'd rather sit it out and the hope things are better next year. The longer people resist taking precautions the longer it's going to take to get covid under control.

[KuruPrionz]

I know a small family of close and longstanding friends (over 20 years). They are very cautious folks and the gathering will be quite small.

I am an "orphan" up here with siblings in California and Utah.

 

I am also very cautious. That said, Washington state began spiking and now we have returned to much stricter restrictions.

One good thing to come of that is the company I work for accelerated their plan to set up their workers to work from home.

Today is my first work at home day. The laptop I use will be needed by somebody else tomorrow night and then I can take custody of it until further notice.

 

I am also cautious and for the most part, safe. We played 5-6 outdoor gigs since May - well distanced and respectful.

 

Given your situation, I would also stay home. It would make me sad but I would be alive to live joyfully later. Cheers, Kuru

 

I've quoted my previous post. I'd like to thank all of you for the perspective. I will be calling my friends tonight to find out more regarding what they are planning but I feel the same way about it in any case.

No matter how careful I am, I cannot stay safe at home 24/7. I need groceries and I work in a very Covid cautious environment with temperatures taken at the entrance (workers only, small staff and most desks are in separate rooms), it is impossible for me to say with certainty that I WON"T bring the virus with me. The thought of being a spreader and bringing sickness or death to loved ones (or even people I don't love) is not acceptable to me.

 

I hate to decline after accepting and it's been way too damn long since I've spent time with these people who are dear to me but I can't find a way to factor in the risk that makes any sense to me.

Cheers, Kuru

[S_Gould]

My girlfriend & I (quarantining together) will be hosting her sister (who is pretty much OCD about masks/distance/sanitizer/hand-washing, and has twice tested negative) in a large house with a 20 ft. wall that will be open to the lanai. We'll eat at seperate tables.

[SamuelBLupowitz]

Just want to say how helpful this thread has been for me emotionally. Having a community I'm a part of discuss the sacrifices they're all making to their holiday plans has made it easier for me to feel confident in mine.

[ElmerJFudd]

Agreed. Thank you, all for sharing.

[Doerfler]

I just found out I don't need to report to the office on Thanksgiving Day.

(I am considered essential personell at a news agency that is 24/7/365).

Now I will most likely have to work Christmas Day, can't have everything.

[ITGITC]

After reading all of your responses last night and having time to sleep on it, I wanted to post.

 

Thanksgiving means a lot. But it's also quite a bit of work - particularly for the cook, who may also be the host, who could very well be the caregiver, and chances are has housekeeping and laundry duties to add to this list.

 

In the "Been there, Done that" category, I'm sure we've all done one, most, or all of the above at some points in our life.

 

My daughter and her husband, who have two small children, were planning to host this year. A couple of days ago she came to visit with her boys. Knowing that she harbors high anxiety, I spoke with her about this topic... and I told her that, although the risks seem minimal to contracting this virus from us or from her husband's parents who would be in attendance, it was her call. If for any reason she felt uncomfortable about the situation, let's don't do it. We can get together once the vaccine has been distributed and everyone feels better about our chances of not catching and not spreading this virus.

 

Early this morning she called. She told her mother that her youngest son was up late last night. He finally went back to sleep, but she didn't. What's going on? Well, just as I predicted, she was worried about Thanksgiving. So, we have decided that - to help our daughter, who already has a lot on her shoulders, let's make the decision here and now that we will not get together for Thanksgiving.

 

What's my point? My point is this: YOU may miss Thanksgiving. And that's a disappointment. However, this is an opportunity to give a wonderful gift - by thinking of the one who is hosting (and cooking and cleaning), and letting them off the hook, you are relieving them of any anxiety... and this is anxiety that you may not know about because they don't want to be the person who cancels Thanksgiving.

 

So I feel good. I do. I had the power to lower the anxiety levels of my daughter in one quick & easy move. Sure, I'll miss Thanksgiving. But helping her to forgo having to make this decision has freed her to enjoy the day instead of dread it.

 

Of course, I would never tell you how to have Thanksgiving. That's up to you and your unique situation. But for me, freeing my daughter of this obligation, and the accompanying stress and anxiety, is a really good feeling.

 

Thanks for letting me share this.

 

My best to you all for the upcoming holiday season!

 

Tom

[Dave Bryce]

Me, my wife, our two dogs, that's it.

Us, too.

 

dB

[Song80s]

Captain Obvious says the Hospitals are FULL

[BluesB3]

Wife's a retired RN w/ 40+ years of experience. She's seen a lot of patients in ventilators. We're staying home for Thanksgiving and continuing to observe masks, social distancing, and hand washing. My idea of "Liberty" is staying alive by using our God given noodle to make smart decisions.

[pinkfloydcramer]

I intend to strap on a special Holiday Edition turkey and dressing feed bag and watch reruns of Mountain Men. And give the dog and the 2 kitties a quiet evening at home with their rescue human.

[Docbop]

I went to hang at the local music store for a bit yesterday, I know it their slow day and it helps the owner past the time. He's and all the teachers have been part of the no mask crowd, it's not affecting people out here and money is only thing that matters. Owner still not wearing a mask, but now has them in his reach behind the counter. He said the guitar repair guy came in and for first time gave owner a bad time for not wearing a mask. The repair guy said his wife is a nurse and it's getting real bad even in our area. Repair guy said he's not taking more work until at least February when holidays are over.

 

The few customers that came in all were wearing masks. Normally there are three teachers with students scattered throughout the day and today only one teacher came in and he had one student both were wearing masks. You can tell things are slowing down in around town and more people saying it's bad this time around. So in a town where so many prior to this was "it's all BS" they are now showing concern. I think they are realizing the normal holiday parties and get togethers need to be skipped this year or done online. I'm glad to see the people that were saying it only affects others, not us are starting to realize were all in this together like it or not.

[Joe Muscara]

The forecast for Thursday here in Houston is that it will be 76° and partly cloudy. That means we should be able to do what we did a few weeks ago, which was to have a meal at my in-laws outdoors. The food was purchased so no one had to spend time in the kitchen alone and same for Thursday. Both of my wife's parents are in their 70s and have had some big health problems in recent years so they've been very cautious. My wife and I have done hardly anything, either. We've eaten out a handful of times, mostly outdoors but twice indoors in mostly empty restaurants when things hadn't started to climb yet.

 

The one question is will my in-laws have my wife's aunt and her son-in-law over? They aren't going to the Thanksgiving at the aunt's ex-husband's place that the rest of her family is going to. My wife's aunt has been saying she's being safe but she doesn't think the virus is a big deal so we have doubts about how serious she's really taking it. Which is a shame since she just had a stent put in!

 

Still, it will be outdoors and no contact will be made, period. We will keep our distance.

 

If we weren't in a warm climate or the weather wasn't going to cooperate, we would have said a hard No to having it indoors.

[Joe Muscara]

I should mention we will be having it at Noon, which is something my wife's family does, so lighting won't be an issue.