Regret and/or mistake in not joining a band

[tonybanksfan]

Not much to add except:

 

1) As you already said, you're not going to lose sleep over it either way.

2) Had I the free time, I probably would have gone to the rehearsal. I'd have done my homework, hit a home run, impressed them all that I'm the only keyboard player they'd really want. Then made it clear the decision would be mutual - as they made their decision about me, I'd be taking some time to make my decision about them.

3) If it wasn't the right situation to invest my time, I probably would not have been so frank and specific about the vocalist's voice to the bass player, and declined for more generic and conciliatory.

 

 

At least out here where I gig, all the regular players know each other. I get referred to all sorts of opportunities from surprising and unexpected sources. Maybe the vocalist I don't prefer (and never worked with) ends up referring me to a lucrative opportunity down the road.

 

Anyway, that's generally my thinking on this stuff. I try to leave everyone with a similar impression - competent, does his homework, shows up on time and prepared, nails the parts, sense of humor, positive energy, deals with the decisions professionally.

 

I really like your response and opinion especially item#2.

If I'm in this situation again this is exactly how I will approach it.

Thank you Tim

[mynameisdanno]

Just gonna add to the chorus of thanks for posting that Darrell Scott cut, Mr. Nathan. That whole album has been one of my favorites since the first time I heard it and that cut in particular is just brilliant writing and playing. Right in the feels every time.

 

100% of the positive band experiences I've had, I got through a musician that I met on some other gig or rehearsal or recording session. Many times the initial encounter came years before the eventual call for the good thing. Quite often the initial encounter was some obviously lame situation where I was still trying to give it my all, despite the lameness. Sometimes people remember quite vividly the bright spots in those rehearsals or sessions that just aren't happening.

 

So if I don't have anything else going, I usually err on the side of saying, yeah I'll go check it out, especially if there are musicians there I haven't played with before. Having said that, I did always tend to stick with situations a little too long. Usually my wife will eventually say "you never seem to come home happy after playing with X" and that's usually what it takes for it to sink in through my thick skull.

 

Of course these days, everything's different. I haven't played music outside of my home studio for months and don't anticipate doing so anytime soon.

[TommyRude]

Bands are like marriages... Meaning that you need a good collaborative relationship. Multiply this by 4 or 5 (depending on the number of bandmates), plus the older you get, the less flexible you are... And let's not forget the true joys of playing in front of Covid infected drunks and asshole club managers, these facts give you a .00034% chance of joining a band that will be an enjoyable experience

 

So you're saying there's still a chance!

[timwat]

I really like your response and opinion especially item#2.

If I'm in this situation again this is exactly how I will approach it.

Thank you Tim

 

You're welcome, happy to give you some options to consider.

 

Tim

[nursers]

Bands are like marriages... Meaning that you need a good collaborative relationship. Multiply this by 4 or 5 (depending on the number of bandmates), plus the older you get, the less flexible you are... And let's not forget the true joys of playing in front of Covid infected drunks and asshole club managers, these facts give you a .00034% chance of joining a band that will be an enjoyable experience

 

So you're saying there's still a chance!

 

Exactly - there's a few of us that probably keep coming back for a chance even as minuscule as that