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OT: Do you ever write a response, but not Send it?


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(Maybe because I"m just an abrasive a-hole,) there are quite a number of times when, late at night under the influence of WildTurkey 101, I write a response, sometimes long and detailed. And then when I re-read it, despite being 'absolutely perfect" in logic and grammar, and absolutely world-shattering in its incite, I can"t send the damn thing.

 

My recently ex"d wife is a Rotarian. ( I couldn"t do that because, frankly, I just can"t stand to be around people that much. )

 

But, Rotarians have what they call the Four Way Test because an action or word needs to follow all four. And I think that when I first came in contact with it, I realized that it"s kind of what I thought, but hadn"t verbalized. Here it is:

 

Is it the truth?

Is it fair to all concerned?

Will it build goodwill and better friendships?

Will it be beneficial to all concerned?

 

I bring this up, because I think that one of the key differentiators of this forum is that most of us follow the Four Way Test, even unknowingly. We self-censor. We hold our punches. We celebrate 'being a keyboard player" over winning an online battle.

 

Now, please forgive me my trespasses.

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Me too... all the time.

 

Funny about the Rotarian. I am a Rotarian, just as my grandfather was, my father was, and my mother currently is. (in fact she's the immediate past president of her chapter in Arizona)

 

Anyway, I am fully aware of the 4 way test.

David

Gig Rig:Casio Privia PX-5S | Yamaha MODX+ 6 | MacBook Pro 14" M1| Mainstage

 

 

 

 

 

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Yes, often.

 

Here and there, now and then, I do send or post something and later I think "What good did that do?"

 

Better to Remain Silent and Be Thought a Fool than to Speak and Remove All Doubt

It took a chunk of my life to get here and I am still not sure where "here" is.
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It's a testimony to what a great group of folks there are on this forum that I participate as much as I do, pretty much noone here is looking to start fights, and there's a camaraderie here that I haven't seen on other forums. But yeah, there's the occasional long reply that is mostly done but never gets sent.

Numa Piano X73 /// Kawai ES920 /// Casio CT-X5000 /// Yamaha EW425

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Yes, I don't send / post more times than I do these days.

 

Most of the "don't send because it's abrasive" stuff is in my rear view mirror. It used to be more frequent, but not so much these days, I think.

 

These days with students it's editing to not be so direct and terse. It takes a little more time to reframe my response in an encouraging, supportive way, but it means the world to students - I think a few too many professors don't take the time to try and be kind.

 

Here on the forum, it's not mainly that. There have been lots of posts I've never posted, and others I've deleted, and more I couldn't delete so I just erased the content. Mostly because I didn't add anything valuable to the conversation so no one benefits so who cares.

..
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Many times, I got in the habit with doing online tech support for programming tools company. So many asshats online being jerks just to jerks so sometimes I'd start answering a post and find myself letting loose on them, then realizing I can't post this, but it feels good so I finish, then delete it. Then give a corporate correct response, "agree to disagree". Over time that has made it's way into venting in a email, or online post, etc and then deleting it. Sometimes just move on and don't reply at all. I remind myself it wastes time and bandwidth for me and those with contrary views so I say what I want and move on.

 

In general after being on internet since the 80's before there even was a www and dealing with a lot of people both as part of my job or personal interest it's easier just to say what I want and leave it at that, these days I try to not reply to followups, but sometime do. Working this way saves time I can put into my music.

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(Maybe because I"m just an abrasive a-hole,) there are quite a number of times when, late at night under the influence of WildTurkey 101, I write a response, sometimes long and detailed. And then when I re-read it, despite being 'absolutely perfect" in logic and grammar, and absolutely world-shattering in its incite, I can"t send the damn thing. ...

 

Yup. Probably 5:1 no-post to post. Often it's because I think the content would be of little interest to the community (kind of like this reply :ohmy:). But wait! If you like the Turkey, and there was a time that I did too, then you might get a kick out of this review of it. It was written in 2001 on epinions.com. You're not repulsemonkey are you?

 

Wild Turkey Love or Who Needs Romance When You've Got Kentucky Bourbon?

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Sometimes when I draft a note which becomes long and complicated, a little voice in my head asks me "is this really necessary?".

 

I think my tendency for long-winded responses saves me sometimes, because this gives an opportunity for the little voice in my head to make its contribution.

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Shut up, you jerks!!! I can't believe what a bunch of

 

:poke:

 

:D

 

At my last W-2 job, I wrote a resignation letter that told my boss/the owner the truth. However, the letter I turned in was short and to the point, professional and polite. I still have the original somewhere, though.

 

Lately, there are certain topics that have come up on social media where I am not holding back nearly as much as I used to. I still try not to go crazy, but I don't hold back on my reasoning and am more willing to state my point, even if it's a bit sharpened. :idk:

"I'm so crazy, I don't know this is impossible! Hoo hoo!" - Daffy Duck

 

"The good news is that once you start piano you never have to worry about getting laid again. More time to practice!" - MOI

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Shut up, you jerks!!! I can't believe what a bunch of

 

:poke:

 

:D

 

At my last W-2 job, I wrote a resignation letter that told my boss/the owner the truth. However, the letter I turned in was short and to the point, professional and polite. I still have the original somewhere, though.

 

Lately, there are certain topics that have come up on social media where I am not holding back nearly as much as I used to. I still try not to go crazy, but I don't hold back on my reasoning and am more willing to state my point, even if it's a bit sharpened. :idk:

 

 

Alway good not to burn bridges. I've worked for multiple companies, multiple times so leaving quietly pays off. Only burnt myself once and didn't even realize I was doing it. I was interviewing for a job with a different school of a large university I worked at and everything seem to go well answered all their questions. Then I didn't get the job so being part of the university I talked to the people from the other school. Seems it upset them that THEY asked me questions about the school I worked for and I answered them, they didn't like that. Whatever!

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Emails and posts. I'll write something, sometimes long, sometimes very short and direct. And then I'll delete it (if a comment on social media) or not send it (email).
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More often than not, for emails as well as forums.

 

I also delete something as soon as someone trolls me (for unknown reasons -- this is especially rude on FB and I don't know why anyone would do that as it's extremely rude); especially if they do so with a political agenda. I enforce political neutrality as best as I can these days, which is hard.

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Select Strat, 70th Anniversary Esquire, LP 57, Eastman T486, T64, Ibanez PM2, Hammond XK4, Moog Voyager

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At least once a day. It is best to compose the response and wait until the next morning to send it. 99% of the time you won't end up sending it.

 

When you can't resist the temptation to send it immediately because it is so perfect and you are so proud of your rapier wit and prose, most of the time you regret it and feel like an asshole afterward.

 

I've done this too many times, both in this forum and with family arguments and 99.9% of the time I've regretted it.

 

I try to be better, but I'm not perfect so apologies in advance if I fly off the handle with you in the future. :)

J a z z  P i a n o 8 8

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Yes, at work, if delivering a controversial message.

 

I repeatedly tell my wife: draft the email, don't fill in names in the "to" box, sleep on it, and if you still agree with it in the morning, THEN you can send it.

 

Cheers, Mike

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At one job I had, we had an internal email system at the time (this was before the internet was "a thing"). Apparently a guy and a woman were having an affair or something, IIRC at least one of them was married. She sent him an email and wrote something like, "oh look you naughty boy, I've copied ALL so that everyone here can see what you do to me" or something tawdry like that. The thing is, she did copy all so everyone in the company got a copy of the message. :o

 

That was a lesson learned about making sure you send an email to whom you intend to, no more and no less!

"I'm so crazy, I don't know this is impossible! Hoo hoo!" - Daffy Duck

 

"The good news is that once you start piano you never have to worry about getting laid again. More time to practice!" - MOI

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At work we currently are doing something called a 360, where you pick folks to evaluate you (and some people pick you to evaluate them). The evaluation is in writing.

 

So this guy picks me to evaluate him. I had a few issues with this guy that were unresolved. I started to write out the eval. As I wrote it out, I reread it (it was very tough)... and I took a breath, and said 'nope.. don't do it'. So I set a meeting to discuss this stuff with him face to face. We did that, and it worked out much better.

Some music I've recorded and played over the years with a few different bands

Tommy Rude Soundcloud

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My greatest achievement, and possibly the greatest achievement in the entire history of human existence, is that I force myself to wait 24 hours before responding to any email from my ex.

Now out! "Mind the Gap," a 24-song album of new material.
www.joshweinstein.com

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I do try to be informative and positive, so it"s taken me 19 years to reach the 950 post range. That being said my biggest issue is when I type out a long reply and fat finger the back arrow on the iPad before I send it. After a few minutes of expletives I just move on and my creativity remains unshared.

 

Jake

1967 B-3 w/(2) 122's, Nord C1w/Leslie 2101 top, Nord PedalKeys 27, Nord Electro 4D, IK B3X, QSC K12.2, Yamaha reface YC+CS+CP

 

"It needs a Hammond"

 

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Yes, at work, if delivering a controversial message.

 

I repeatedly tell my wife: draft the email, don't fill in names in the "to" box, sleep on it, and if you still agree with it in the morning, THEN you can send it.

 

Cheers, Mike

 

I made the mistake of addressing one of these and putting it in my inbox with no Send order on it. Ten years later, I accidentally sent it to a forum, and had to weather the results. It was, by the standards of the much more polite online persona I developed working at the magazine, a truly epic shitpost, and I still shudder to think of it.

 

My own experiences on MPN have been universally excellent, which is why I love this community so much. In all my time here, I have ever only run across one thread, ever, that had negative or inflammatory content; it happened over 10 years ago and I don't even see the people involved in it posting here any more.

 

How do I know about it? Because the person who was attacked contacted me externally and asked me to revive the thread and scold the attackers. It was actually deleted from the forum entirely, but this person found it on the Internet Archive Wayback Machine and linked me to it there.

 

Stuff on the Internet never goes away; that's a good tenet to keep in mind in addition to the above. The other thing that never really goes away is hurting someone.

Dr. Mike Metlay (PhD in nuclear physics, golly gosh) :D

Musician, Author, Editor, Educator, Impresario, Online Radio Guy, Cut-Rate Polymath, and Kindly Pedant

Editor-in-Chief, Bjooks ~ Author of SYNTH GEMS 1

 

clicky!:  more about me ~ my radio station (and my fam) ~ my local tribe ~ my day job ~ my bookmy music

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