Music Player Network
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 1 of 2 1 2
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,334
Likes: 97
W
MP Hall of Fame Member
OP Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member
W
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,334
Likes: 97
After a long, hot day working in my garden yesterday, I was given the idea for a new, fun recording project. (No, I don't know where the idea came from, it was just there, I don't claim credit for thinking of it.)

The working title is Do Not Try This At Home; the album concept is a bunch of pieces built around phrases usually seen on warning labels & signs. I already have -

Harmful Or Fatal If Swallowed

No User-Serviceable Parts

Do Not Feed Or Annoy The Animals

Contents Under Pressure


If you have any favorites I may have missed, please post them here. Still considering Do Not Drive Or Operate Heavy Machinery, but not committed to that one, yet. Thanks, everyone!



As any good Deadhead will know, Caution, Do Not Stop On Tracks was taken long ago.


"Monsters are real, and Ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win." Stephen King

http://www.novparolo.com
GP Island
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 5,592
Likes: 37
S
MP Hall of Fame Member
Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member
S
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 5,592
Likes: 37
Originally Posted by Winston Psmith
After a long, hot day working in my garden yesterday, I was given the idea for a new, fun recording project. (No, I don't know where the idea came from, it was just there, I don't claim credit for thinking of it.)

The working title is Do Not Try This At Home; the album concept is a bunch of pieces built around phrases usually seen on warning labels & signs. I already have -

Harmful Or Fatal If Swallowed

No User-Serviceable Parts

Do Not Feed Or Annoy The Animals

Contents Under Pressure


If you have any favorites I may have missed, please post them here. Still considering Do Not Drive Or Operate Heavy Machinery, but not committed to that one, yet. Thanks, everyone!



As any good Deadhead will know, Caution, Do Not Stop On Tracks was taken long ago.

'Contents Under Pressure' is in my notebook of potential titles from many years ago.
'Keep Out Of Reach Of Children'
'Not For Human Consumption'
'Do Not Operate If Intoxicated'
'Unplug Before Opening'


Scott Fraser
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,918
Likes: 113
10k Club
Offline
10k Club
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,918
Likes: 113
For external use only
May cause drowsiness
Use in well ventilated area
Keep away from children
Share the road
No shoes no shirt no service
Do not use near open flame
crazy


Take care, Larryz
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,334
Likes: 97
W
MP Hall of Fame Member
OP Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member
W
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,334
Likes: 97
Thanks to Scott Fraser & Larryz!

"Not For Human Consumption" & "Do Not Use Near Open Flame" have made the list! "For External Use Only" is a possibility, although I personally prefer "Do Not Ingest".

Upon further reflection, "Do Not Drive Or Operate Heavy Machinery" is too much fun to ignore. "Danger: High Explosives" also has an appeal.

Any other entries?


"Monsters are real, and Ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win." Stephen King

http://www.novparolo.com
1 member likes this: Larryz
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 6,337
Likes: 45
D
MP Hall of Fame Member
Online Content
MP Hall of Fame Member
D
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 6,337
Likes: 45
I really like Scott’s 'Keep Out Of Reach Of Children'. It has a built-in retort for critics. wink

How about...

”Hearing Protection Required”
“Noise Area: May Cause Hearing Loss”
“Loud Noise Hazard”
“Wear Goggles When Handling”
“Beware of a Falling Rock”
“WARNING: Strong Current”
“Bears In Area”
“Opening Will Void Warranty”


Sturgeon's 2nd Law, a.k.a. Sturgeon's Revelation: “Ninety percent of everything is crap”

My FLMS- Murphy's Music in Irving, Tx

http://murphysmusictx.com/
1 member likes this: Scott Fraser
Joined: Dec 2017
Posts: 452
Likes: 34
Senior Member
Offline
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 2017
Posts: 452
Likes: 34
Waves break on ledge: you could be swept off, injured or drowned.
Dangerous shorebreak: waves break in shallow water, serious injuries could occur, even in small surf.
Jellyfish stings are painful stay out of water.

Last edited by surfergirl; 05/17/20 08:36 PM.

Jenny S.
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,334
Likes: 97
W
MP Hall of Fame Member
OP Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member
W
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,334
Likes: 97
I had given some thought to "Danger: Falling Rock Zone". "Opening Will Void Warranty" has the right tone of mindless legal verbiage, but it lacks the threat potential I'm looking for?

OTOH, "Keep Out Of Reach Of Children" could be applied to a lot of very interesting things, so it gets on the list.

I'd like to see more beachfront warnings? Some of those are close to what I'm looking for . . .

"Keep Hands Away" and "Avoid Serious Injury Or Death" are serious contenders; so is "Danger: High Explosives" . . .

Last edited by Winston Psmith; 05/17/20 07:56 PM.

"Monsters are real, and Ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win." Stephen King

http://www.novparolo.com
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 6,337
Likes: 45
D
MP Hall of Fame Member
Online Content
MP Hall of Fame Member
D
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 6,337
Likes: 45
It’s not your style, but...

“Dangerous Surf!”
“Swim At Your Own Risk”
“Tsunami Hazard Zone”


And this one made me chuckle:
[Linked Image from images.fineartamerica.com]

Last edited by Dannyalcatraz; 05/17/20 08:36 PM.

Sturgeon's 2nd Law, a.k.a. Sturgeon's Revelation: “Ninety percent of everything is crap”

My FLMS- Murphy's Music in Irving, Tx

http://murphysmusictx.com/
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 6,337
Likes: 45
D
MP Hall of Fame Member
Online Content
MP Hall of Fame Member
D
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 6,337
Likes: 45
This one from San Martin’s Maho Beach was also amusing, but waaaay too long for your purposes:
[Linked Image from guide2travel.ca]

Last edited by Dannyalcatraz; 05/17/20 08:40 PM.

Sturgeon's 2nd Law, a.k.a. Sturgeon's Revelation: “Ninety percent of everything is crap”

My FLMS- Murphy's Music in Irving, Tx

http://murphysmusictx.com/
Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 3,646
Likes: 327
MP Hall of Fame Member
Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member
Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 3,646
Likes: 327
Open slowly to relieve pressure.
If irritation persists, call a doctor.
Vapor may ignite explosively.
Exposure to high temperature may cause can to burst.


There is never enough time to be in a hurry...
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 815
Likes: 23
Gold Member
Offline
Gold Member
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 815
Likes: 23
May cause irritability (I should wear this warning label myself)
Do not use with plunger or in toilet (this is on a Drano bottle)
Contact may result in injury
Always keep blades away from fingers and body
Do not use any Kershaw knife as a stabbing device (I kid you not, it actually says this)
Please do not use this product inappropriately (found on the package for a Cold Steel Bowie knife)


I rock; therefore, I am.
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 6,337
Likes: 45
D
MP Hall of Fame Member
Online Content
MP Hall of Fame Member
D
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 6,337
Likes: 45
“Beware of walking logs”


Sturgeon's 2nd Law, a.k.a. Sturgeon's Revelation: “Ninety percent of everything is crap”

My FLMS- Murphy's Music in Irving, Tx

http://murphysmusictx.com/
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,334
Likes: 97
W
MP Hall of Fame Member
OP Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member
W
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,334
Likes: 97
I have at least one knife that came with a label suggesting it not be used as a weapon - this on a Dagger-style sheath knife?!?!? What was it supposed to be then, a Medieval toothpick?

"Keep Hands Away" was the shortest version I found of "Keep Hands Away From Blades", and several variations on that theme, including "Keep Hands Away From Rollers". (Reminded me of the Stephen King's story, "The Mangler".)

@Surfergirl - thanks for the explanations with those signs. Had never seen the "Dangerous Shorebreak" sign anywhere that I can recall?

I really like "Vapor May Ignite Explosively"!!!

Looking up "Swim At Your Own Risk" led me to a quick review of a liability case regarding warning signs in general, an interesting distraction. Considering "Use At Your Own Risk".

The "Nude Sunbathers . . ." sign might be an enticement to some, depending on just who was out sunbathing, of course.

The "Jet Blast . . ." warning sign would make a great album cover . . . Is that French phrase "You there! (You're the one?) I love you!" part of the sign, or stenciled graffiti?

Where did you see a sign that says "Beware Of Walking Logs"? I'm not doubting you, just want to know!

I'll put all of everyone's suggestions in my notebook today - I still like real paper notebooks - and make a final list soon.

Thanks, everyone, for your input. I really needed this project. The album project that I've been working on is really dark, dark enough that it's been getting to me. This idea came to me as a sort of promise, "Finish that other thing, and then you can do this, it'll be fun!" I'll share any early results, as I finish them.


"Monsters are real, and Ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win." Stephen King

http://www.novparolo.com
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 5,807
Likes: 19
MP Hall of Fame Member
Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 5,807
Likes: 19
Refrigerate after opening.


"Am I enough of a freak to be worth paying to see?"- Separated Out (Marillion)
NEW band Old band
Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 3,646
Likes: 327
MP Hall of Fame Member
Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member
Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 3,646
Likes: 327
Probably too long but...

Objects in Mirror are Closer ThanThey Appear.

Then I had the bright idea to google Warning Signs and click Images. There seems to be an infinite supply.

This one might be a good band name - Danger Bull

Danger of Death
Beware of Vehicles
Risk of Explosion
Toxic Hazard
Sharp Edges Watch Your Fingers
Beware of Opening Door
Caution Fixed Overhead Hazard
Warning Children Left Unattended Will Be Sold To The Circus
Slow Hedgehogs
Slippery Surface
Danger of Falling Objects
Biological Hazard
Wrong Way
Danger Alligators
Warning Syringes
Caution Uneven Surfaces
Compressed Air Hazard
Caution Stupid Kids Crossing
Warning Open Hole


There is never enough time to be in a hurry...
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 5,592
Likes: 37
S
MP Hall of Fame Member
Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member
S
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 5,592
Likes: 37
Originally Posted by Winston Psmith
Where did you see a sign that says "Beware Of Walking Logs"? I'm not doubting you, just want to know!.

Reminds me of signs my dad has seen in the Caribbean, possibly Jamaica, reading, "Beware of Sleeping Policemen". Definitely requires explanation. Apparently in the local jargon a speed bump is colloquially called a sleeping policeman, because it enforces speed caution without actually doing anything.


Scott Fraser
Joined: Dec 2017
Posts: 452
Likes: 34
Senior Member
Offline
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 2017
Posts: 452
Likes: 34
@Winston, here is the long definition of shorebreak.

https://hioceansafety.com/ocean-hazards-dangerous-shorebreak/


Jenny S.
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,334
Likes: 97
W
MP Hall of Fame Member
OP Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member
W
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,334
Likes: 97
Originally Posted by surfergirl
@Winston, here is the long definition of shorebreak.

https://hioceansafety.com/ocean-hazards-dangerous-shorebreak/

This exactly describes something that happened to me when I was very young. Got knocked over backwards into nice soft sand, spent a moment or two lying on my back underwater, looking up at the sky. I wasn't frightened, I thought the sky looked pretty cool through the water. My mother, OTOH, was less thrilled at seeing me suddenly disappear underwater.


"Monsters are real, and Ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win." Stephen King

http://www.novparolo.com
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 815
Likes: 23
Gold Member
Offline
Gold Member
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 815
Likes: 23
I found these two pearls of wisdom on the warning sticker on a ladder:

Do not over-reach.
Wear slip resistant shoes.

The "do not over-reach" has good potential for a song lyric.


I rock; therefore, I am.
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 815
Likes: 23
Gold Member
Offline
Gold Member
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 815
Likes: 23
'Not For Human Consumption'

I laughed out loud when I read this one from Scott. I have a package of freeze dried maggots that is sold as fishing bait that has this warning written on the label. Really, Captain Obvious? Was it really necessary to tell people not to eat a package of freeze dried maggots?


I rock; therefore, I am.
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 6,337
Likes: 45
D
MP Hall of Fame Member
Online Content
MP Hall of Fame Member
D
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 6,337
Likes: 45
My home state of Louisiana is the source of the “walking logs” sign- it’s a warning about the presence of alligators.


Sturgeon's 2nd Law, a.k.a. Sturgeon's Revelation: “Ninety percent of everything is crap”

My FLMS- Murphy's Music in Irving, Tx

http://murphysmusictx.com/
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 5,592
Likes: 37
S
MP Hall of Fame Member
Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member
S
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 5,592
Likes: 37
Originally Posted by Sharkman
'Not For Human Consumption'

I laughed out loud when I read this one from Scott. I have a package of freeze dried maggots that is sold as fishing bait that has this warning written on the label. Really, Captain Obvious? Was it really necessary to tell people not to eat a package of freeze dried maggots?

I saw it on a can of tuna sold as cat food. It contained nothing other than tuna, but I suspect not the best part of the fish.
And the maggots, there are places in the world where that might be construed as a delicacy.


Scott Fraser
Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 3,646
Likes: 327
MP Hall of Fame Member
Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member
Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 3,646
Likes: 327
Originally Posted by Sharkman
'Not For Human Consumption'

I laughed out loud when I read this one from Scott. I have a package of freeze dried maggots that is sold as fishing bait that has this warning written on the label. Really, Captain Obvious? Was it really necessary to tell people not to eat a package of freeze dried maggots?

Attached Images
Mmmm....maggots.jpg

There is never enough time to be in a hurry...
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,918
Likes: 113
10k Club
Offline
10k Club
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,918
Likes: 113
Watch for falling rocks
Beware of dog
Guard dog on duty
Enter at own risk
Do not enter - High Explosives in use
Do not enter - Military gun range
Do not enter - Radio active area
Do not enter - Defoliant poison in use
Do not enter - Area 51
cool


Take care, Larryz
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 6,337
Likes: 45
D
MP Hall of Fame Member
Online Content
MP Hall of Fame Member
D
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 6,337
Likes: 45
Here’s a classic!

“No Girls Allowed!”


Sturgeon's 2nd Law, a.k.a. Sturgeon's Revelation: “Ninety percent of everything is crap”

My FLMS- Murphy's Music in Irving, Tx

http://murphysmusictx.com/
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,334
Likes: 97
W
MP Hall of Fame Member
OP Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member
W
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,334
Likes: 97
Originally Posted by Larryz
Watch for falling rocks
Beware of dog
Guard dog on duty
Enter at own risk
Do not enter - High Explosives in use
Do not enter - Military gun range
Do not enter - Radio active area
Do not enter - Defoliant poison in use
Do not enter - Area 51
cool

Someone lives near a military installation, I think . . .

I had an interesting encounter with a "Use Of Deadly Force Permitted" sign once.

I was delivering a flower arrangement to a downtown D.C. office building, NOT a gov't building. I stepped off the elevator to find myself in a small lobby, facing a man sitting in a booth that looked like a ticket window at an old-school movie theater. Above him, and slightly to his right was a sign indicating "Use Of Deadly Force Permitted", but nothing to explain where I was, or why all the security measures? I told the fellow behind the plexiglass why I was there, he had me wait for a minute, until a very nice young woman came out from a side door and thanked me for the flowers, then I left. I still have no idea who they were?


"Monsters are real, and Ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win." Stephen King

http://www.novparolo.com
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,918
Likes: 113
10k Club
Offline
10k Club
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,918
Likes: 113
LOL! Winston, no, I'm not living close to a military installation, but I was in the military for a couple of years 69-75 era. I have pulled armed security at a bunker installation in Colorado that even I wasn't told what was in there LOL! I was just thinking of the signs I have seen that would cause one to pause before entering (i.e. poison in use). The typical out in my rural areas no trespassing signs that are a little humorous: Do not worry about the dog, worry about the owner...If you can read this you are in range...No trespassing violators will be violated...What part of no trespassing don't you understand? cool


Take care, Larryz
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,334
Likes: 97
W
MP Hall of Fame Member
OP Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member
W
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,334
Likes: 97
@Larryz - I used to see one in New England that said "Trespassers Will Be Shot, Survivors Will Be Prosecuted". Add that to a bit of wisdom from an old buddy - "The first shot is just to get their attention."


"Monsters are real, and Ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win." Stephen King

http://www.novparolo.com
1 member likes this: Larryz
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,918
Likes: 113
10k Club
Offline
10k Club
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,918
Likes: 113
I think I saw this in an old cowboy saloon movie or two on top of the old upright: Don't shoot, I'm just the piano player! keys

Last edited by Larryz; 05/19/20 07:33 PM.

Take care, Larryz
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 13,807
Likes: 25
P
10k Club
Offline
10k Club
P
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 13,807
Likes: 25
Close Cover Before Striking
Warning! Coffee Is Hot
Danger! Do Not Enter!
You Must Be THIS Tall To Ride This Ride
Slip Hazard
Beware Of Dog!


Always remember that you�re unique. Just like everyone else.



Page 1 of 2 1 2

Link Copied to Clipboard
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5