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Ugliest Guitar You've Ever Seen?
#3030836 02/28/20 05:33 AM
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Thought this might be fun. One "rule." No guitars that are torn apart and broken. Only guitars that are functional and someone expects to be or is playing them.

Mine:

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Re: Ugliest Guitar You've Ever Seen?
Music With Marky #3030839 02/28/20 07:09 AM
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That is wonderous, an abomination. I like it.

This is my own ugliest guitar, with a runner up. Dani Mayo is a 58 Danelectro U-2, could have been a Silvertone. Ebay find, deep, smooth finger ruts in the Brazilian Rosewood fretboard, somebody loved playing it. Some worn frets, incredibly low action, replacement switch. Hums a bit but sounds gorgeous.

The body looks more or less like somebody spread mayonnaise on it with a trowel and called it good.

I've got a butchered Framus 8 string lap steel that ain't too pretty either. Sorry for the link, was not able to upload from the desktop to MPN, Flickr worked but only a copy and paste link. I think MPN is bit off right now.

https://www.flickr.com/photos/143117517@N04/49594484038/in/dateposted-public/

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Re: Ugliest Guitar You've Ever Seen?
KuruPrionz #3030840 02/28/20 07:16 AM
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Originally Posted by KuruPrionz

The body looks more or less like somebody spread mayonnaise on it with a trowel and called it good.


That's funny, right there!


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Re: Ugliest Guitar You've Ever Seen?
Music With Marky #3030841 02/28/20 07:22 AM
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There is a link to the photo above and also just below this.
Not having any luck uploading or linking.
https://www.flickr.com/photos/143117517@N04/49594484038/in/dateposted-public/

Ugh, I'll have to try again later, MPN seems glitchy right now!!!!

Last edited by KuruPrionz; 02/28/20 07:35 AM.

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Re: Ugliest Guitar You've Ever Seen?
KuruPrionz #3030849 02/28/20 11:32 AM
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Back in the late 80's, Aria, IIRC, made a solid-body Electric, shaped roughly like a Machine Gun - really, more like an M-16 - in a camo finish; Fugly barely begins to cover it. Hondo also made a Machine Gun Guitar, not quite as ugly, but still nothing to be admired.

Looking for an image of one this AM, it seems that someone is still making them, and selling them through Scamazon, home of cheap knock-offs and import counterfeits. I won't post the link, but you can find them easily enough.


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Re: Ugliest Guitar You've Ever Seen?
Music With Marky #3030866 02/28/20 03:27 PM
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https://www.sweetwater.com/store/de...-mix-olympic-white-over-3-tone-sunburst?

All you have to do is google on Fender Custom Shop Relic and you can find one of these for about $4 Grand! Can't stand the thought process behind these beauties! crazy



Last edited by Larryz; 02/28/20 03:30 PM.

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Re: Ugliest Guitar You've Ever Seen?
Larryz #3030867 02/28/20 03:36 PM
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@Larryz - I was still working in Music retail when the first run of Relic'd Fenders arrived. One thing we noticed right away was that all of them had the same wear patterns in the same places, at least on those early models. FWIW, they played well, probably because the finish wasn't glass-smooth, but damn, they were ugly! Expensive, too, a custom model that looked like it had fallen out of the delivery truck, and been dragged by its strings for a few miles of asphalt.

I've said it before, while I'd never buy one of those poor things, give me a Zippo lighter, a carton of Lucky Strikes, a belt sander with rough grit, and a weed whacker, and I'll gladly work on the line "relic-ing" them.


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Re: Ugliest Guitar You've Ever Seen?
Music With Marky #3030877 02/28/20 04:20 PM
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Hondo Coyote is butt ugly to a mud fence. A bandmate played one decades ago because he thought it as funny. It was, but not in a good way.

https://reverb.com/item/1376864-vintage-hondo-coyote-w-ohsc

To make things worse, the one I linked above has the original Kahler vibrato system installed. So now it sounds bad too, one of the worst tone suck bridges i've ever installed.
Would make a Les Paul sound like an old Kay electric hollowbody, thin yet lifeless.


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Re: Ugliest Guitar You've Ever Seen?
Winston Psmith #3030885 02/28/20 05:03 PM
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Originally Posted by Winston Psmith
@Larryz - I was still working in Music retail when the first run of Relic'd Fenders arrived. One thing we noticed right away was that all of them had the same wear patterns in the same places, at least on those early models. FWIW, they played well, probably because the finish wasn't glass-smooth, but damn, they were ugly! Expensive, too, a custom model that looked like it had fallen out of the delivery truck, and been dragged by its strings for a few miles of asphalt.

I've said it before, while I'd never buy one of those poor things, give me a Zippo lighter, a carton of Lucky Strikes, a belt sander with rough grit, and a weed whacker, and I'll gladly work on the line "relic-ing" them.


LOL! I always suggest an acid wash and a chain saw! I'm sure the relics sound great if the Custom Shop puts their special touch on them but they look horrible to me. It's like buying a new Cadillac and taking a sledge hammer to it! thu


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Re: Ugliest Guitar You've Ever Seen?
Music With Marky #3030913 02/28/20 07:19 PM
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Is there really any competition to this piece of hideousness?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_h3zmKVnm8


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Re: Ugliest Guitar You've Ever Seen?
Larryz #3030927 02/28/20 08:58 PM
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Originally Posted by Larryz
https://www.sweetwater.com/store/de...-mix-olympic-white-over-3-tone-sunburst?

All you have to do is google on Fender Custom Shop Relic and you can find one of these for about $4 Grand! Can't stand the thought process behind these beauties! crazy




That looks diseased. =]


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Re: Ugliest Guitar You've Ever Seen?
Scott Fraser #3030928 02/28/20 08:59 PM
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Originally Posted by Scott Fraser
Is there really any competition to this piece of hideousness?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_h3zmKVnm8


Ewwwwwwwwwwww


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Re: Ugliest Guitar You've Ever Seen?
KuruPrionz #3030929 02/28/20 08:59 PM
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Originally Posted by KuruPrionz
Hondo Coyote is butt ugly to a mud fence. A bandmate played one decades ago because he thought it as funny. It was, but not in a good way.

https://reverb.com/item/1376864-vintage-hondo-coyote-w-ohsc

To make things worse, the one I linked above has the original Kahler vibrato system installed. So now it sounds bad too, one of the worst tone suck bridges i've ever installed.
Would make a Les Paul sound like an old Kay electric hollowbody, thin yet lifeless.


Wow, I haven't seen a Hondo since I had hair!


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Re: Ugliest Guitar You've Ever Seen?
Music With Marky #3030932 02/28/20 09:54 PM
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I'm not one to out people but the title does say World's Ugliest so I consider it fair game.

Searching "ugly guitar" on ebay doesn't bring up much but this is hideous. Price is good, if I were local I'd buy it and start a band. The shipping deters me.

https://www.ebay.com/itm/Worlds-Ugliest-BASS-Guitar-Fretless-2x4-Primative-UGLY-1-OF-1-3-Strings-Weird/333529125210?hash=item4da7e2915a:g:RD4AAOSwDMtdp5-3


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Re: Ugliest Guitar You've Ever Seen?
KuruPrionz #3030937 02/28/20 10:22 PM
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Originally Posted by KuruPrionz
I'm not one to out people but the title does say World's Ugliest so I consider it fair game.

Searching "ugly guitar" on ebay doesn't bring up much but this is hideous. Price is good, if I were local I'd buy it and start a band. The shipping deters me.

https://www.ebay.com/itm/Worlds-Ugliest-BASS-Guitar-Fretless-2x4-Primative-UGLY-1-OF-1-3-Strings-Weird/333529125210?hash=item4da7e2915a:g:RD4AAOSwDMtdp5-3


That is brilliant. When the shipping is 2x as expensive as the "guitar." I would love to see that band you would form. =]

Last edited by Music With Marky; 02/28/20 10:22 PM.

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Re: Ugliest Guitar You've Ever Seen?
KuruPrionz #3030943 02/28/20 10:42 PM
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Originally Posted by KuruPrionz
I'm not one to out people but the title does say World's Ugliest so I consider it fair game.
Searching "ugly guitar" on ebay doesn't bring up much but this is hideous. Price is good, if I were local I'd buy it and start a band. The shipping deters me.
https://www.ebay.com/itm/Worlds-Ugliest-BASS-Guitar-Fretless-2x4-Primative-UGLY-1-OF-1-3-Strings-Weird/333529125210?hash=item4da7e2915a:g:RD4AAOSwDMtdp5-3


The problem with this is incorrect product description. That is clearly not a 2 x 4. But that aside, this could almost be some bit of folk art from some impoverished part of the world where real instruments aren't available, & people make music on primitively fashioned appropriated castoff materials. But, nah, it's really just junk.


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Re: Ugliest Guitar You've Ever Seen?
Music With Marky #3030961 02/29/20 01:13 AM
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Originally Posted by Music With Marky
Originally Posted by KuruPrionz
I'm not one to out people but the title does say World's Ugliest so I consider it fair game.

Searching "ugly guitar" on ebay doesn't bring up much but this is hideous. Price is good, if I were local I'd buy it and start a band. The shipping deters me.

https://www.ebay.com/itm/Worlds-Ugliest-BASS-Guitar-Fretless-2x4-Primative-UGLY-1-OF-1-3-Strings-Weird/333529125210?hash=item4da7e2915a:g:RD4AAOSwDMtdp5-3


That is brilliant. When the shipping is 2x as expensive as the "guitar." I would love to see that band you would form. =]



I like that the position of the jack appears to make it impossible to plug it in. Nothing a drill with a big bit couldn't fix.
Long ago, somebody listed a "guitar" that was made of matchsticks glued together. It was the basic shape of an acoustic guitar. Unplayable and wouldn't sound good no matter what.
The seller had a Buy It Now of $9,000. After a while, it went away. I'm sure they just pulled the listing, nobody gonna buy something like that!


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Re: Ugliest Guitar You've Ever Seen?
KuruPrionz #3031028 02/29/20 07:01 PM
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Originally Posted by KuruPrionz
Hondo Coyote is butt ugly to a mud fence. A bandmate played one decades ago because he thought it as funny. It was, but not in a good way.

https://reverb.com/item/1376864-vintage-hondo-coyote-w-ohsc

To make things worse, the one I linked above has the original Kahler vibrato system installed. So now it sounds bad too, one of the worst tone suck bridges i've ever installed.
Would make a Les Paul sound like an old Kay electric hollowbody, thin yet lifeless.


Actually, I would call that "stupid" as opposed to "ugly", but that's a matter of taste, I guess...


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Re: Ugliest Guitar You've Ever Seen?
Music With Marky #3031087 03/01/20 04:19 AM
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well, there's good-ugly and bad-ugly.

Good-ugly: That Sardonyx from the late '70s with the outriggers, Gary Kramer Guitars' Turbulence, BC Rich's Mockingbird, pretty much any Moonstone.

Bad-ugly: That Gibson from the mid-'70s with the neck humbucker and bridge single-coil that had a blend knob obviously stolen from some appliance repair shop. Gibson was a major source of bad-ugly back then, along with Guild and Hagstrom.

There are pics out there of some electric guitar shaped like a giant foot that probably takes the prize, though.

Last edited by hurricane hugo; 03/01/20 04:21 AM.
Re: Ugliest Guitar You've Ever Seen?
Music With Marky #3031102 03/01/20 10:02 AM
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Re: Ugliest Guitar You've Ever Seen?
picker #3031129 03/01/20 05:58 PM
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Originally Posted by picker


Looks like the bastard child of a Jaguar/Jazzmaster and a Guild or DeArmond JetStar/Jet-Star, the "melted Hershey Bar" model. I could see modern Surf-Rockers going for it, maybe?

Now, if we're talking about the ugliest Guitar I've ever owned? Since we're not including broken or, in this case, dis-assembled Guitars, I'm not including a photo of my own long-term Project Guitar, but here's what it looked like originally - 1989 Epiphone Flying V - Magenta

I bought it because I felt sorry for it, which was a mistake, obviously. The photo on the Reverb site doesn't begin to show how truly ghastly that "Magenta" color is; think a shade or two darker than Pepto-Bismol Pink, and you're getting close. It's in a full-size rectangular Gibson case lined with that Hot Pink faux fur, which makes it look even worse on first sight.

Plywood body - you can see the plywood layers inside the body cavities - imitation licensed-by-Floyd Trem that disintegrated from metal fatigue, and pickups that fell apart when I looked under the hood. I have a bunch of GFS parts ready to go, as soon as I'm ready to dive in again. Once it's restored, if that's the word, I'll post photos.


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