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The 5 Deadly Warning Signs You Shouldn't Buy a Piece of Gear


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1. It really needs a software application to be useful. Granted, Apple has put on its big-boy pants and gone 64 bit, while Microsoft seems incapable of using the words "innovation" and "Windows 10" in the same sentence. So we might be able to coast with computer operating systems for a while, but M-Audio Venom and smartphone owners know what I'm talking about.

 

2. It's from a new company that looks too good to be true. Their packaging is a work of art, they have a beautiful 14-color brochure, the NAMM booth is packed with expensive booth babes, and they have a weird, indecipherable company name like "XexiXx" (and they get really upset if you miss the intercap X when you mention them in a trade show report). Ooops! They spent all their money on marketing, and now they won"t be able to fix the shortcomings in what they thought was a 'sure thing' product. In fact, it may never even ship.

 

3. There"s nothing user-replaceable or repairable. For starters, they want you to throw the thing out when the battery doesn't hold a charge any more, which happens approximately one week after the warranty expires. And if there's a hardware problem, the only option is a board swap that costs twice as much as getting a new unit.

 

4. Claims that violate the laws of physics. There's a reason why they're called "laws." I really don't think gold-plated USB cables designed by Donatella Versace, that cost $70 a foot because they"re made of unobtainium, are going to sound any better with your audio interface than the USB cables that came with the interface.

 

5. It won't work without an internet connection. This means it"s a non-starter for anyone on AT&T.

 

I"m pretty sure there are more than five warning signs, though...got any, SSSers?

 

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6. The company files a lawsuit against forum members who criticize their products. Behringer had the gall to sue some members on Gearslutz for libel. Questionable business ethics aside, that action did not help customer relations.

 

7. The company threatens a trademark infringement lawsuit against a discussion forum of dedicated fans. After Harold passed away, the owner of the company making Rhodes VII pianos threatened an infringement lawsuit against fenderrhodes.com, the largest collection of Rhodes piano enthusiasts - and potential customers. The backlash was so intense that any mention of the Rhodes VII was banned and deleted from the discussion forums. That single action destroyed the company. Business 101: never sue potential customers.

 

8. Accelerated Obsolescence. Technology in the computer world becomes obsolete in a blaze. When you have to replace a computer or OS, will your plugins still work? When USB ports become obsolete, how will you use your license dongles?

 

9: Upgrade treadmill. The business model of too many companies is to defer advances to next year's model instead of offering the upgrade to an existing model. Thus products are never "finished". The net effect is more sales. Customers who bought last year's product now want the latest greatest product, but when selling the old model to fund the new one they are faced with a market glut of hundreds of others doing the same thing and the value of their old product tanks. This is a reason I stopped buying from certain companies.

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Wise advise - let me illustrate.

 

1. It really needs a software application to be useful.

My old synth modules that I bought during the Windows 95 and Apple OS6 days still work today. I know of no software synths that still do. My first software synth, the Roland Virtual Sound Canvas I think went orphaned at Win 2000 or Vista. No update, no replacement.

 

I've since acquired newer synth modules and they all still work too. MIDI is MIDI. OS changes are not always compatible.

 

2. It's from a new company that looks too good to be true.

I've seen too many new companies go 'belly-up'. And of course, if it looks too good to be true ... ... ...

 

3. There"s nothing user-replaceable or repairable.

A friend of mine, and competitor was so proud of his Bose PA speakers, you know, the ones that look like a stick. A couple of years down the road it broke, Bose said they don't make the parts anymore, I sent him to my repair guy who runs a big shop about 60 miles away and he said, "You can't fix this problem because it requires parts from Bose that they don't make anymore."

 

I loaned him my older Carvin powered speakers for the weekend with the understanding that he keeps his cell phone on and if my newer EVs break, he is to deliver my Carvins as they are my back-up. Fortunately I didn't need them.

 

Sometimes simpler is better.

 

I think good old analog mixers are better for a band who plays live than the new digital ones. I've had my mixers repaired a few times since the early 1990s and it's usually a bad solder joint (one-nighters are tough on gear), transistor, or dirty potentiometer which can be replaced.

 

4. Claims that violate the laws of physics.

This one is too obvious. But people fall for it. Example: that little 2" speaker cone will not move the air and make the bass sound as good as that 15" woofer or subwoofer.

 

5. It won't work without an internet connection.

I have another friend who does a single with karaoke tracks. His service is on-line and if there is no Wi-Fi in the house, he can't take the gig. He goes to work with a laptop, amp, mic and synth (which he fakes on the songs he doesn't know).

 

Insights and incites by Notes

 

Bob "Notes" Norton

Owner, Norton Music http://www.nortonmusic.com

Style and Fake disks for Band-in-a-Box

The Sophisticats http://www.s-cats.com >^. .^< >^. .^<

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6. The company files a lawsuit against forum members who criticize their products. Behringer had the gall to sue some members on Gearslutz for libel. Questionable business ethics aside, that action did not help customer relations.

 

Well admittedly, Gearslutz is an easy target :) But litigious companies in general are a drag. In many cases, they're just one step above patent trolls IMHO.

 

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13. The company has a reputation for producing unreliable products (can you say Behringer? Pyle?). I'm sure there are others, it certainly took Peavey a LONG time to overcome that reputation (earned in the 1970's!!) and they still suffer from it with very low resale value (= high bang for the buck sometimes!). Considering my "luck" with Snark tuners and all of my disappointed friends who've bought them, I would add them to the list. I'll never buy another, the Boss TU-10 has proven to be a much better product. I only bought one of the Planet Waves mini tuners and it died an early death so I am done with that product but not the company.

 

14. Cords with molded plastic ends. I am not rough on cords, I have a few that I've owned for well over 10 years and never a problem. I've had a few molded plastic end cords die and sometimes you realize when you cut the end off (to strip back the leads and solder a nice metal plug on there), that the cable itself is poorly shielded junk wire.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It took a chunk of my life to get here and I am still not sure where "here" is.
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10. Companies that provide replacement parts ....but won't sell them to Joe Public. F**k you too!

 

11. Anything Kickstarter. Don't care how much of a deal you're giving to risk takers. And btw even if the product is successful I'll never pay more than what you've shown it's really worth. There's nothing I need that badly.

 

12. Manufacturers with no website or inactive website. Facebook is not an option for customer service.

 

 

 

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Kickstarter. Not a store.

 

Kickstarter is okay if you understand that there's a chance that you may never get your money back...or receive the product.

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Thanks. You should consider funding a Kickstarter project if you have a genuine interest in getting the product to market. You should also consider whether the company has a strong track record of getting other products to market.

 

I fund Kickstarter projects occasionally (and again, with the understanding that it's not a store, I may never receive a full refund, and I may never receive the product, or if I receive either, it might be a long time coming). I funded a project to receive a book on macrophotography. I am interested in this, want to see that it is released, feel that there is a great likelihood that it will be brought to market, am not in a hurry, and have only $35-40 invested.

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I got no gripe with software synthesizers. For the price, and the fabulous stuff you can get, it's a steal even if it dies on the OS upgrade path after 5 years.

 

Thing is - while they get cheaper, they keep getting better and better, too - so I'm really not interested in running Sound Canvas or the early emulations of the Prophet 5 or Minimoog or PPG Wave, etc., etc. Diva for $179 and with good programming, you can sound like $50,000 worth of classic, but slowly disintegrating hardware.

 

Hardware is another thing - but even then, a lot of great gear soundwise is pretty crappy fabrication-wise. So many Rickenbacker instruments are quite quality-control-challenged or design-challenged. But oh, when they are playing well, such heaven.

 

Sure, it's smart to be smart when buying - but with so much available, it's a buyer's market. Expect a lemon now and then - we still still have an embarrassment or riches, both hard and softwares.

 

nat

 

 

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I got no gripe with software synthesizers. For the price, and the fabulous stuff you can get, it's a steal even if it dies on the OS upgrade path after 5 years.

 

Thing is - while they get cheaper, they keep getting better and better, too - so I'm really not interested in running Sound Canvas or the early emulations of the Prophet 5 or Minimoog or PPG Wave, etc., etc. Diva for $179 and with good programming, you can sound like $50,000 worth of classic, but slowly disintegrating hardware.

 

Hardware is another thing - but even then, a lot of great gear soundwise is pretty crappy fabrication-wise. So many Rickenbacker instruments are quite quality-control-challenged or design-challenged. But oh, when they are playing well, such heaven.

 

Sure, it's smart to be smart when buying - but with so much available, it's a buyer's market. Expect a lemon now and then - we still still have an embarrassment or riches, both hard and softwares.

 

nat

 

Well said. I use soft synths almost 100% of the time. If one can't be used, I use a different one. Just remember to render your soft synth tracks before you put a project to bed!!!
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15. Your wife sees you reading Electronic Musician and gives you the Stinkeye as if it had been porn. Which it is, but that's not the point.

 

Its not a deadly sign, but one fail-safe is learning to be critical of duplication. New pieces should either bring something to the table none of your other gear offers or it should be a relatively useful leap ahead like the breakout lanes of the Korg Wavestate.

 "I want to be an intellectual, but I don't have the brainpower.
  The absent-mindedness, I've got that licked."
        ~ John Cleese

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I can't keep the numbering straight, but here are a few that folks haven't mentioned (I won't comment on the few I disagree with).

 

If the manufacturer is operating on the Internet startup economic model, FLEE. There is at least one big manufacturer of electronic music gear that has been lily-pads-across-the-pond jumping from venture capital funding round to funding round, has never shown a profit, spends far more on marketing and social-media flimflam than actual working products, and is on course for an IPO and shitcanning, orphaning many thousands of dewy-eyed optimistic kids who bought in without understanding the risks.

 

If the designer tells their audience that they can't understand the depths of their genius, FLEE. A fair number of people on and off Kickstarter have drunk so much of their own Kool-Aid that they think of themselves as above their users somehow. You shouldn't mind a builder that knows more about designing this stuff than you do, but if they can't answer basic questions about what their stuff does without getting huffy, that doesn't bode well for aftermarket support. If the guy who built the gear that you spent $4000 on tells you you're an idiot for letting out the magic smoke, that's adding insult to injury.

 

If you see any of the following words in the product writeup, FLEE (or at least put on hip waders before moving forward). "forward-facing", "community-driven", "lifestyle", "creative" (as a noun, describing a person), "best-in-class", and especially "tribe" (as in "come join the").

 

Oh, and the easiest way to deal with product claims that violate the laws of physics is to walk into their tradeshow booth and hand over a business card that says you're a Ph.D. in nuclear physics. The young marketing kids who believe their own hype will nod and smile, and the older guys who know they're selling bullshit will suddenly develop pasted-on smiles and flop sweat.

 

This only works if you have a Ph.D. in nuclear physics, so maybe I'm just a tad bit spoiled. Oh, and it doesn't work at all in audiophile shows, where they'll literally laugh in your face, admit they're selling snake oil and make more in a month than you do in a year, and shoo you away like a wayward toddler. (One of many reasons why I don't own a handgun.)

 

 

 

 

Dr. Mike Metlay (PhD in nuclear physics, golly gosh) :D

Musician, Author, Editor, Educator, Impresario, Online Radio Guy, Cut-Rate Polymath, and Kindly Pedant

Editor-in-Chief, Bjooks ~ Author of SYNTH GEMS 1

 

clicky!:  more about me ~ my radio station (and my fam) ~ my local tribe ~ my day job ~ my bookmy music

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I can't keep the numbering straight

 

It's like when MacDonald's stopped giving a specific number of burgers sold, and just said "Billions and billions served" :)

 

If you see any of the following words in the product writeup, FLEE (or at least put on hip waders before moving forward). "forward-facing", "community-driven", "lifestyle", "creative" (as a noun, describing a person), "best-in-class", and especially "tribe" (as in "come join the").

 

I don't think that's fair, given that at the end of the day, our products stretch the envelope to think outside the box, thus enabling a customer-directed change catalyst beyond positioning of second-screen ROI into a simple quality vector for viral gamification, combined with clickable earned media and ideation. This is how we're able to leverage a synergistic collection of eyeballs, where the rubber meets the road...we manage our flexible core competencies to bucketize win-win experiences for diverse, client-focused immersive experiences. And, we combine the technical savvy inbued in our extensive product line with leading-edge promotion, that's all about leveraging a synergistic aggregation of eyeballs for an optimized, end-to-end networking relationship.

 

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I can't keep the numbering straight

 

It's like when MacDonald's stopped giving a specific number of burgers sold, and just said "Billions and billions served" :)

 

If you see any of the following words in the product writeup, FLEE (or at least put on hip waders before moving forward). "forward-facing", "community-driven", "lifestyle", "creative" (as a noun, describing a person), "best-in-class", and especially "tribe" (as in "come join the").

 

I don't think that's fair, given that at the end of the day, our products stretch the envelope to think outside the box, thus enabling a customer-directed change catalyst beyond positioning of second-screen ROI into a simple quality vector for viral gamification, combined with clickable earned media and ideation. This is how we're able to leverage a synergistic collection of eyeballs, where the rubber meets the road...we manage our flexible core competencies to bucketize win-win experiences for diverse, client-focused immersive experiences. And, we combine the technical savvy inbued in our extensive product line with leading-edge promotion, that's all about leveraging a synergistic aggregation of eyeballs for an optimized, end-to-end networking relationship.

 

In other words, it's a "whole new way of approaching audio"?

Well, maybe it's a partially new but mostly borrowed way of thinking about maybe doing something that makes noise? :- D

It took a chunk of my life to get here and I am still not sure where "here" is.
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In other words, it's a "whole new way of approaching audio"?
Oh, it's so much more than that! Our tribe of creatives has come up with a best-in-class, forward-facing method of rearranging the actual air molecules in audio. This community-driven approach to audio embraces a new lifestyle, one of unsurpassed sonic liberation. To call it the greatest achievement in the history of western civilization would be an understatement.

 

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In other words, it's a "whole new way of approaching audio"?
Oh, it's so much more than that! Our tribe of creatives has come up with a best-in-class, forward-facing method of rearranging the actual air molecules in audio. This community-driven approach to audio embraces a new lifestyle, one of unsurpassed sonic liberation. To call it the greatest achievement in the history of western civilization would be an understatement.

 

That sounds like a real "game-changer"...

It took a chunk of my life to get here and I am still not sure where "here" is.
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By defying the laws of Physics, we've harnessed the power of molecular dissonance to create previously unhearable sounds that will re-transform your workflow without un-interrupting your creative impulses.
It took a chunk of my life to get here and I am still not sure where "here" is.
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#X-something-or-other: Any company that's generating and then discarding new products more often than the calendar changes. "Now you see it, now you don't!" isn't a great way to build customer loyalty, for one thing; neither are orphan product lines.

 

I recall one generally well-regarded company that went through a run of very promising Synthesizers (A6, Ion, Micron, anyone?) before dropping out of Synth production (and deleting most of their Legacy Support pages) altogether. It's not just that they discontinued the products, it's almost as if they wanted to erase them?

"Monsters are real, and Ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win." Stephen King

 

http://www.novparolo.com

 

https://thewinstonpsmithproject.bandcamp.com

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By defying the laws of Physics, we've harnessed the power of molecular dissonance to create previously unhearable sounds that will re-transform your workflow without un-interrupting your creative impulses.
You have a future in marketing!
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By defying the laws of Physics, we've harnessed the power of molecular dissonance to create previously unhearable sounds that will re-transform your workflow without un-interrupting your creative impulses.
You have a future in marketing!

 

how true :thu:

:nopity:
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By defying the laws of Physics, we've harnessed the power of molecular dissonance to create previously unhearable sounds that will re-transform your workflow without un-interrupting your creative impulses.
You have a future in marketing!

 

A shooting star, leaping through the sky, like a tiger defying the laws of gravity! A satellite, out of control, like an atom bomb...

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