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I�m quitting


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Lately i have been feeling like selling everything and saying Hell with it. I know I said I was making an effort, but who am I kidding. I"m not making an effort at all, and not really trying. I just quit and give up. I know a lot of you will say' Paul don"t give up!' Or You have mentioned this before, but I have to be honest with myself, I never really wanted to play or make music in the first place. I would rather spend time on my iPad or iPhone. I just don"t have the motivation too do it. I just don"t feel like it! Even when I was taking piano lessons. I didn"t really care at all, and still don"t. I"m just wasting my time and everyone else"s!

 

PEACE!

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I've quit multiple times in my life and have always regretted it....52 here and constantly kicking myself for not sticking with guitar, many times...I'd be awesome right now if I had!

 

But if it isn't fun, you have other ways to make a living, and aren't inspired--then find something else more enjoyable.

 

The good thing is, you can quit and then come back to it. The real regret comes if you sell your gear at a loss and then want it back later :D

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Don't sell everything! Keep at least 1 board around in case you need to scratch the itch.

Good advice.

 

At 59,I've recently bought a Mojo 61, a Yamaha synth (OK, a rompler MX88) and a Roland E-piano because I'd sold everything else off years before. Should've at least kept my Hammond chop and Leslie (although I'm glad I don't have to lug it around and move it anymore...)

 

Hang on to "at least one", cause you never know...

 

Or at least wait until after the holidays...

 

Too many people get "down" this time of year with holidays stress, cold weather, 10 hours of light etc. Maybe 2020 will bring a fresh new perspective for you on this.

 

Old No7

Yamaha MODX6 * Hammond SK Pro 73 * Roland Fantom-08 * Crumar Mojo Pedals * Mackie Thump 12As * Tascam DP-24SD * JBL 305 MkIIs

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Honestly, this goes all the way back to my childhood! I spent a considerable amount of time in front of a television! My parents tried to get me involved in a lot of activities: Swimming, Scouting, Day Camp, soccer, Karate, Theatre, art, church. Nothing interested me. Even piano lessons. All, I ever wanted to do was watch TV, or spend hours alone in my room. I had friends, but they come and go. Also, it"s hard when you can"t stand people to begin with. I"m not anti social, just pro alone time. It"s also, why I am not married or in a relationship. Women, always want to do something, an not always what I want too do, or would take an interest in. No, I am happy being alone, but I"m not lonely. I have a job, and my parents to talk too. Also, have people I talk with at my local coffee shop or the various antique malls I visit. Yes, that is another one of my enjoyments.

 

I know people say, but you seem enthusiastic over synths! YES and no. I love them but that"s it. I just need to give up, because it"s just not worth it. I can"t even figure out how people write music. My feeling is, you either have it or you don"t! I have a hard time trying to combine things together. Ableton live and Pro Tools confuse me? I can"t even understand a step sequencer.

 

I enjoy music more then trying to play it or compose it. Maybe if I had a talent I would, but I don"t. Playing music is not my forte. Pun intended! I have tried multiple times, but I just don"t like they way i sound. Even practicing is hard. I can get part of something down, but just can"t seem to move on. Playing music, also coincides with my struggles with Math. I have a hard time figuring out how someone can take a bunch of random notes and create a melody, and not noise. I"m good at creating noise, but that"s not music. Which what I see with a lot of todays electronic music. Especially with Modular synthesizers. I see a lot of people just turning knobs and running sequencers and moving patch cables, and people pay money too hear this junk! I don"t even understand how people like Morton Subodnick and Susan Caini and be consider musicians ? I can"t even listen to their stuff, because it make no sense.

 

It"s funny coming from someone who has a John Cage quote. I tied paying a Arturia DrumBrute and MicroBrute, but it did not sound musical. I even had to cease my channel Synth Geek, because I was receiving no feedback, Well, maybe one person. I remember posting a video showing off my Drum Thing Door Stop edition, and receiving negative feedback. I have a problem with that. It"s probably why I don"t like people. Everyone has an opinion and a comment, and they are not always positive.

 

No, I"m just better getting rid of everything! With the exception of my Theremin, which my mom bought me. Can"t really play It, so much as make weird nosies, and who wants that!

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Sounds like you have been putting a lot of pressure on yourself to feel a certain type of way about music. That's the last thing you need. So if you think walking away will make you feel better then do it. These things can by cyclical too. One day you'll maybe want to get back to it. It's okay to feel that way. Enjoy being into it when you are, don't feel bad about being over it when you are. If you aren't forced to make a living doing this, then why force it upon yourself if it bums you out?

Kawai C-60 Grand Piano : Hammond A-100 : Hammond SK2 : Yamaha CP4 : Yamaha Montage 7 : Moog Sub 37

 

My latest album: Funky organ, huge horn section

https://bobbycressey.bandcamp.com/album/cali-native

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Ok. You may not really care for all that I"m going to say here, but please take it as just a few thoughts from someone who"s gone through a few stagnation periods in music as well.

 

Playing music is not my forte. Pun intended! I have tried multiple times, but I just don"t like they way i sound. Even practicing is hard. I can get part of something down, but just can"t seem to move on.

I think you need to find music that you actually enjoy listening to to play. There can"t be a huge disconnect there or you are never going to like your playing. There"s also a point where it"s time to switch to a new song, or you"ll get burnt out quickly. Come back and play through the first song a few times a week later or something like that; I"ve found that my brain will have spent time processing the song subconsciously during that time, and then you have a starting point from which to improve. It helps to have a sound that you like when playing each song too, whether it"s a piano, strings, brass, a synth pad, synth pluck sounds ala modern EDM, or guitar sounds. Something that you feel fits the song and that you like the dynamics of.

 

What kind of music do you enjoy listening to?

 

 

 

I can"t even figure out how people write music. I have a hard time figuring out how someone can take a bunch of random notes and create a melody, and not noise.

I would wait with trying to write music and first just really listen to a lot of good songs. Find transcriptions if possible, and study how they"re put together. Better yet, learn to play a little with them. That"s a good starting point. Without a good reference, you"re just going to end up lost. You can also experiment with free notation software, and just drop in notes and move them around. It"s surprising what you can come up with sometimes.

 

I tied paying a Arturia DrumBrute and MicroBrute, but it did not sound musical. I have a hard time trying to combine things together. Ableton live and Pro Tools confuse me? I can"t even understand a step sequencer.

 

Pro Tools, Ableton Live, and other software of that kind is not something you need to master right now. I tried to learn Studio One and GarageBand fully to 'make great recordings' when I was starting out.. I just couldn"t get the sound I wanted from my recordings. I gave up on it. I had all these ideas I could hear in my head, but couldn"t make them come out.

 

When I now listen back to some of those recordings, I realize that the issue was not the software, but that I had crappy timing and arranging. I didn"t know how to play to a click track, or how to mix well, or anything like that, but the timing was what wrecked the songs. Now I have much better technique and timing, but it"s only been five years or so and there is an enormous difference. Granted, I know more on the recording side now but the raw tracks, before any DAW knowledge comes in, are pretty good on their own.

 

Basically, don"t worry about all the technical stuff on recording right now. It"s not essential to making music. You said you like listening to music. I would just work on playing alright and to my liking before I ever touched the recording equipment. All the software in the world can"t make something that isn"t musical to begin with musical (yes, Autotune/Melodyne and MIDI editing are handy tools, but they shouldn"t be a crutch as a super-edited track will never sound as good as a good take will to begin with).

 

IMO, a Drumbrute plus a MicroBrute is NOT going to be something you"re going to want to use as your primary musical outlet. It"s never going to be more than a simple synth and a drum machine, plus the mini keys won"t translate well to a regular keyboard, like your other stuff. Better to have something like a 61-key keyboard with good, modern sounds, or a digital piano than to try and express all your musical ideas with something that, by its very nature, cannot sound like a lot of music out there. I would actually sell most of the stuff you"ve gotten, and use the funds to buy something like a nice Yamaha MX61 or a used S90, or just something that has a wide assortment of good-quality sounds, that you can use later on if you like for performance or recording purposes. Maybe something closer to a MOX or MOXF, Korg Kross 2, or even an arranger keyboard if you want some simple recording features built in to experiment with for fun.

 

I even had to cease my channel Synth Geek, because I was receiving no feedback, Well, maybe one person. I remember posting a video showing off my Drum Thing Door Stop edition, and receiving negative feedback. I have a problem with that. It"s probably why I don"t like people. Everyone has an opinion and a comment, and they are not always positive.

 

That is YouTube. I"ve run a channel for two years, and you know what, it doesn"t matter how great your content is, there will always be someone who doesn"t like it. More commonly over there, there are tons of people we call 'trolls', who make accounts for the sole purpose of randomly insulting people and posting nasty comments and dislikes. Sometimes they haven"t even seen your video! So, just know that that"s how it is for everyone, even the big guys, and don"t worry about it. It"s also the internet, not real life, as hard as that can be to remember.

 

FYI, for YouTube, setting all comments to be reviewed from your Creator Studio page is very useful if you don"t want some really nasty troll comments to show publicly on your video.

 

 

 

 

Feel free to PM me if there"s anything I can help with.

 

 

-Max

Yamaha: Motif XF8, MODX7, YS200, CVP-305, CLP-130, YPG-235, PSR-295, PSS-470 | Roland: Fantom 7, JV-1000

Kurzweil: PC3-76, PC4 (88) | Hammond: SK Pro 73 | Korg: Triton LE 76, N1R, X5DR | Emu: Proteus/1 | Casio: CT-370 | Novation: Launchkey 37 MK3 | Technics: WSA1R

Former: Emu Proformance Plus & Mo'Phatt, Korg Krome 61, Roland Fantom XR & JV-1010, Yamaha MX61, Behringer CAT

Assorted electric & acoustic guitars and electric basses | Roland TD-17 KVX | Alesis SamplePad Pro | Assorted organs, accordions, other instruments

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HWomen, always want to do something, an not always what I want too do, or would take an interest in. No, I am happy being alone, but I"m not lonely. I have a job, and my parents to talk too.

There are probably some women who are cocooners like you. But while it's great that you're close with your parents, the fact is, you'll probably out-live them by a good number of years, so will still benefit from bringing some other people into your life. As for music, it's not for everyone. If you get more joy out of watching TV and movies (and merely listening to the music of others), there's nothing wrong with that, either.

 

Maybe this is the best place for a shameless plug! Our now not-so-new new video at https://youtu.be/3ZRC3b4p4EI is a 40 minute adaptation of T. S. Eliot's "Prufrock" - check it out! And hopefully I'll have something new here this year. ;-)

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I"m 65 and said 'I quit" in my late 30"s. Burnt out. Didn"t find joy in it any more. Didn"t touch a keyboard for a decade. Then the itch came back about 20 years ago. It gives me joy again. But it took time to get any kind of chops back. Don"t regret having walked away. But if I could do it over again, I would have left one keyboard set up somewhere in a corner and sat down now and then. Maybe couple times a week. Just so I could still do it.

 

If you feel confident in this decision, then find and do what gives you joy. But maybe leave the music door open a crack?

I would like to apologize to anyone I have not yet offended. Please be patient and I will get to you shortly.
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Considering the time of year, I can"t help but wonder if you might have Seasonal Affective Disorder??

S. A. D.

 

Excellent diagnosis.

 

Sorry, couldn't resist....

 

[video:google]https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/40c495e6-45a9-4c17-8cc5-e40da2368aba

 

 

 

57 Hammond B3; 69 Hammond L100P; 68 Leslie 122; Kurzweil Forte7 & PC3; M-Audio Code 61; Voce V5+; Neo Vent; EV ELX112P; GSI Gemini & Burn

Delaware Dave

Exit93band

 

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Hi Paul,

if, as you say, you'd rather spend time on your Iphone and Ipad instead of making music and it makes you happy, then why not?

 

However it seems that somehow you still have an interest in making music. You don't need any "instrument" to make music. Do you sing? As in, if your hear a note, can you sing that same note? Just a thought, maybe you could join a choir?

 

"Show me all the blueprints. I'm serious now, show me all the blueprints."

My homemade instruments

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I'm fortunate in that my entire life is music - teaching, performing, multiple ensembles, multiple bands, musicals, etc.

 

I've always said "when this is no longer fun, I'm going to stop doing it." I haven't reached that point yet, but it sounds like perhaps you have. I would suggest what others have said - take the pressure off yourself. Keep one board set up to play - when you want, and only when you want. I've heard lots of people in my life say: "I regret giving up the guitar/trumpet/piano/kazoo/bagpipes/etc. " but I've never heard someone say: "Man, all those years I spent playing music? Waste of my time!" I hope you're not the first.

 

 

Muzikteechur is Lonnie, in Kittery, Maine.

 

HS music teacher: Concert Band, Marching Band, Jazz Band, Chorus, Music Theory, AP Music Theory, History of Rock, Musical Theatre, Piano, Guitar, Drama.

 

 

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Hey Paul-

 

It may be as simple as the possibility that you haven't found music you are passionate about yet. Has a piece of music ever moved you to tears? Is there a song that comes on that instantly makes you want to party, dance & let out primal screams? Pick any emotion- there is surely a song / piece of music that can be a soundtrack to create or support that emotion. When you can answer those questions, the inspiration to create those emotions thru music becomes rather addicting. It doesn't have to be overly complex. The song "Angel" by Sarah McLaughlin is one that moves me to tears. It was years before I even noticed it was a basic I IV V progression, because I was so absorbed by her voice & the melody. Don't think. Feel.

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So what do you enjoy doing besides the non-doing of self-pleasuring with tv?

 

Not feeling much of a connection to others (in your case just a select few), wanting to be by yourself most of the time, having no motivation to do much of anything in your free time- those are classic signs of depression. I know it well, have experienced it most of my adult life, and didn't recognize it until recently cause it wasn't overtly extreme. The lack of motivation and low energy are key signs.

 

Or perhaps you put enough into your job (full time?) that you don't have the energy/inclination to do much else. Many people can relate to that. But consuming vast amounts of tv? Yeah, it's pleasurable, esp if you're smoking pot, but when it is the main activity you do in your free time it amounts to watching other people living life and being cocooned in a safe little bubble.

 

I resisted depression meds my whole life cause I wasn't super depressed, just low energy and an almost complete lack of motivation. In the last 4 months I finally tried them and am kicking myself that I didn't try them 20-30 years ago. I always said, oh I can just exercise more, eat better, socialize more, etc., and not need external help. But if you're low energy and un-motivated you're not likely to do these self-help/actualizing things. At least in my case thinking I could work my way out of it was wrong.

 

Depression meds for me, and for many people, are not a cure, but they give you a different starting point where you have more energy and feel like doing stuff. At that point it's up to you to take the advantage given and do something with it, otherwise no medication/counseling/help will do make any difference in a shut-out life.

 

And if you wait till you're in your 60's to do something about this, you'll be confronted with older age and the lower energy that comes with that. You often don't know what you've got until you don't got it anymore! Taking the easy/safe route, IME, is not very satisfying in the long term, you have little/nothing to show for life lived.

 

I may be reading into your post what my experience has been, so take it for what its worth.

 

And if you're still drawn to music but haven't connected to music lately, consider an arranger board. Korg makes the Pa700 and it is a knockout. Like many people, I've always not related to arranger boards, they sounded cheezy to me. But the quality of sounds and styles are incredible, and for the first time, after having owned a handful of arranger boards, I'm actually using the auto-arranger part of it. The beauty of it is to get started you just need to make 3 note chords with your left hand, and with your right hand you solo on top of a generated bass line, accompaniment parts, and rhythms. You can also easily take out the bass line, accompaniments and rhythyms so you can use as little or much of the auto-accompaniment as you want. The quality of the Styles is such that it's probably the best way possible to learn new styles of music, it's like having pro musicians jam along with you.

 

 

The other route for music enjoyment is to get away from synths and just get a piano with a weighted action you like and really good onboard speakers. Then just play along with songs you like.

 

Another way is to find people to jam with. Most of my best and most motivating musical experiences has been playing and singing with others. Hell, a choir might be inspiring for you. Music, IME, is best experienced as a group sport.

 

 

Numa Piano X73 /// Kawai ES920 /// Casio CT-X5000 /// Yamaha EW425

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The song "Angel" by Sarah McLaughlin McLachlan is one that moves me to tears. It was years before I even noticed it was a basic I IV V progression, because I was so absorbed by her voice & the melody. Don't think. Feel.

 

Fixed the spelling, not because it"s germane to Paul"s predicament or because I"m just being nitpicky, but to give her the recognition she deserves. I learned that particular song about eighteen years ago in order to impress a young lady - who I now call my wife - so it has particular meaning to me.

 

Paul, best of luck dealing with whatever prompted this post. If you choose to take a break, don"t close the book entirely on this musical chapter; you might wish to revisit it sometime later.

Nord Stage 2 Compact, Yamaha MODX8

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So what do you enjoy doing besides the non-doing of self-pleasuring with tv?

 

Not feeling much of a connection to others (in your case just a select few), wanting to be by yourself most of the time, having no motivation to do much of anything in your free time- those are classic signs of depression. I know it well, have experienced it most of my adult life, and didn't recognize it until recently cause it wasn't overtly extreme. The lack of motivation and low energy are key signs.

 

Or perhaps you put enough into your job (full time?) that you don't have the energy/inclination to do much else. Many people can relate to that. But consuming vast amounts of tv? Yeah, it's pleasurable, esp if you're smoking pot, but when it is the main activity you do in your free time it amounts to watching other people living life and being cocooned in a safe little bubble.

 

I resisted depression meds my whole life cause I wasn't super depressed, just low energy and an almost complete lack of motivation. In the last 4 months I finally tried them and am kicking myself that I didn't try them 20-30 years ago. I always said, oh I can just exercise more, eat better, socialize more, etc., and not need external help. But if you're low energy and un-motivated you're not likely to do these self-help/actualizing things. At least in my case thinking I could work my way out of it was wrong.

 

Depression meds for me, and for many people, are not a cure, but they give you a different starting point where you have more energy and feel like doing stuff. At that point it's up to you to take the advantage given and do something with it, otherwise no medication/counseling/help will do make any difference in a shut-out life.

 

And if you wait till you're in your 60's to do something about this, you'll be confronted with older age and the lower energy that comes with that. You often don't know what you've got until you don't got it anymore! Taking the easy/safe route, IME, is not very satisfying in the long term, you have little/nothing to show for life lived.

 

 

It"s not depression! My doctor diagnosed me for that.

 

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Hey Paul-

 

It may be as simple as the possibility that you haven't found music you are passionate about yet. Has a piece of music ever moved you to tears? Is there a song that comes on that instantly makes you want to party, dance & let out primal screams? Pick any emotion- there is surely a song / piece of music that can be a soundtrack to create or support that emotion. When you can answer those questions, the inspiration to create those emotions thru music becomes rather addicting. It doesn't have to be overly complex. The song "Angel" by Sarah McLaughlin is one that moves me to tears. It was years before I even noticed it was a basic I IV V progression, because I was so absorbed by her voice & the melody. Don't think. Feel.

 

 

Okay! I don"t feel anything!

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I'm fortunate in that my entire life is music - teaching, performing, multiple ensembles, multiple bands, musicals, etc.

 

I've always said "when this is no longer fun, I'm going to stop doing it." I haven't reached that point yet, but it sounds like perhaps you have. I would suggest what others have said - take the pressure off yourself. Keep one board set up to play - when you want, and only when you want. I've heard lots of people in my life say: "I regret giving up the guitar/trumpet/piano/kazoo/bagpipes/etc. " but I've never heard someone say: "Man, all those years I spent playing music? Waste of my time!" I hope you're not the first.

 

 

 

I was never playing music!

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Look! I appreciate all of the support and diagnosis, I"m a not a musician, I never have been, nor will i ever be. It"s not depression or SAD. I have no talent for making or playing music. I can hear stuff in my head, but it doesn"t translate to the keyboard!

 

I thought by buying a piano, or a synth i would, but I"m just kidding myself. My keyboards are furniture, not something to play. Heck! I didn"t even touch my D-20, when it arrived! Apart from plugging it in to see if it worked.

 

If it was something I had to work at, and know I was not good. I just gave up!

 

I have no connection between my brain and a keyboard. If I know I can"t play, I"m not goin to do it.

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