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OT: When/why did it become normal to ignore texts/email ?


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ok, so what about Xmas cards ? Not on the priority list is my guess ;)

 

 

XMas Cards are so 20th century :snax:;)

 

what about those AOL install CD's in the garage/basement ? ;)

Why fit in, when you were born to stand out ?

My Soundcloud with many originals:

[70's Songwriter]

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I'm of the generation of folks who could talk on the phone for hours at a time. :D

 

Still, to this day, I'm not short on conversation by any means necessary. Technology facilitates my communication.

 

Text messages and email allow me to multitask. Phone calls convey emotion and reduce misunderstanding.

 

So far, I haven't become that old man who's decided to fall off the grid believing the world has gone to h8ll in a handbasket. :laugh:

 

Until then, , I use talk, text and email regularly as another way to stay in the loop i.e. connected to humanity. :cool:

 

similar here. When on the phone with brothers and sister, we go on for hours, nostalgic talking about our parents, schools, growing up stuff.

Same with band members from the 70's, we dredge our memories of crazy band stories.

 

I agree, email and text will never replace 1/1 conversation. Its a fallacy that a 2 sentence email or a 6 word text/emoticon is keeping in touch.

Why fit in, when you were born to stand out ?

My Soundcloud with many originals:

[70's Songwriter]

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ok, so what about Xmas cards ? Not on the priority list is my guess ;)

 

 

XMas Cards are so 20th century :snax:;)

 

what about those AOL install CD's in the garage/basement ? ;)

 

 

[video:youtube]

 

When an eel hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a Moray.
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Some random observations:

1) I swear that the no-reply or really-really-delayed-reply thing has increased exponentially over the last six months, at least for me.

2) I'm even having problems on CL listings. Twice recently I've seen ads for things I was interested in, responded, and had the hot/cold thing mentioned earlier, sometimes with delays of over a week, followed by can we meet in an hour? Uh, no we can't, fuck-you-very-much...I'm busy, nitwit. If you'd said something earlier I would have gladly met up with you, but don't expect me to drop what I'm doing and come running just because you finally decided to respond to my previous email.

2a) One mega-moron listed a dozen Eurorack modules (the first time I've ever seen Euro stuff for sale in this market), with no prices. Well, okay... So I wrote and asked what he wanted for the stuff. Three weeks (and maybe ten emails) later, he still couldn't tell me what he wanted, price-wise. I dusted my hands of the idjit. NOTE: He's still got the CL ad running--I'm thinking he's being stupid with everyone else, too. Either that or he's some sort of troll who gets his jollies messing with peoples' heads.

3) Here's a weird one. I've got people who want something from me who can't be bothered to communicate. I know a smidgen about electronics. I've got someone who wants me to fix their stereo for them...but can't be bothered to respond to my questions about what went wrong, etc. Jeez. You contacted me. You want help. And now you're keeping me at arm's length? Really? If it wasn't the daughter of an old friend, I'd tell her to kiss my ass.

4) Facebook. Same story. Got three Messages in with people. Finally got a response to one. The other two are just...hanging. One's the same sort of thing as 3. They wanted me to contact them, then...nothing. I'm pretty peeved about that one.

5) I'm an author. Had a query about rights to one of my older stories. I responded, saying I'd be glad to talk with 'em, just show me a contract. Nothing. I'll grant them one possible complication--they're representing a Chinese magazine and maybe an email from the US got flagged by the Party as unacceptable, so it may have been blocked. There may be an explanation for that one, but it's the same from my end.

6) Miracle of miracles, I ran into a guitarist who said he was into the idea of original prog rock, which is what I'd like to do. He has a reputation as being very good on guitar and seemed quite enthusiastic. We traded numbers. Nothing. I ran into him again. He said his phone had been stolen and he'd lost my number as a result. We traded numbers again. I called and left a message. That was a month ago. You guessed it: Silence.

7) I view a lot of this as selfishness or ego, pure and simple. The other party just doesn't care about you. You're there to be used, or not, when it's convenient for them. They have no manners or empathy and will leave you hanging until, like, forever.

 

Grey

I'm not interested in someone's ability to program. I'm interested in their ability to compose and play.

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Some random observations:

 

7) I view a lot of this as selfishness or ego, pure and simple. The other party just doesn't care about you. You're there to be used, or not, when it's convenient for them. They have no manners or empathy and will leave you hanging until, like, forever.

 

Grey

 

all very common experiences. What we see here is mostly the 'rule ' , not the exception

 

My wife bottom lined it " There's a major breakdown in conventional manners ".

I call it " All about me ". Or simply " Users ".

 

we can lead by example, but its going to feel like you are on your own.

Why fit in, when you were born to stand out ?

My Soundcloud with many originals:

[70's Songwriter]

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My running joke is that all these new ways to communicate just have given people more ways to not reply to you. :D

 

I know lots of people whom you have to tell them you sent an email via another means because they don't check their email anymore due to the junk that clutters their inbox. Maybe the 80 emails or whatever number above is right, but if that doesn't include junk mail they also have to sort through, things get lost or they just can't be bothered anymore. I've also had lots of people not get my emails because it ended up in their junk folder or they didn't get them at all, so they claim.

 

I've had real friends/contacts tell me in person things like, "I got your email, I just hadn't had a chance to reply" meaning that what I asked was more detailed than just them saying yes or no, so to give me the response they felt I should get would take more time than they had.

 

I feel like my sister (12 years older than me so not a kid) does it to me a lot. I'll start off a text conversation with some minor stuff and she'll reply right away, we have a good back and forth, and then when I ask a big question⦠crickets. It doesn't seem to matter if I start with the big question, either.

 

OTOH, I've had people wanting to make sure I saw their message send it to multiple email addresses of mine, as well as send me a text or FB message, and even call. Pick one and then try another if I don't respond for a bit. I don't need you to send me a WUPHF.

 

[video:youtube]

 

I also hate it when I email or message someone, and they decide their reply is too much to write so they just call. Lots of times that's not a good time. I've had people call me like that when I emailed them at 7 in the morning, and my wife is still in bed. I had to learn to not email them that early.

"I'm so crazy, I don't know this is impossible! Hoo hoo!" - Daffy Duck

 

"The good news is that once you start piano you never have to worry about getting laid again. More time to practice!" - MOI

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My running joke is that all these new ways to communicate just have given people more ways to not reply to you. :D

 

I know lots of people whom you have to tell them you sent an email via another means because they don't check their email anymore due to the junk that clutters their inbox. Maybe the 80 emails or whatever number above is right, but if that doesn't include junk mail they also have to sort through, things get lost or they just can't be bothered anymore. I've also had lots of people not get my emails because it ended up in their junk folder or they didn't get them at all, so they claim.

 

ly.

 

LOL. That is funny in a harsh way. Its ok to accept some facts. If folks [ not strangers] ignore your emails, it suggests a few things. You or your email or text is simply not important to them.

IOW, you [ or me or who ever] or your subject is not a priority.

 

And really, its not hard to scan a list of 80 emails. I can do it in 5 minutes or less. And pick out my brothers email address or subject out of the list. I think most of us can read fast and process fast. C'mon, we are musicians, we kick ass on fast reading and processing.

 

And there is the ' whats important to me is not important to someone else '. There is lots of that, I think.

 

My neighbor made a similar comment.. " I just don't have time for... etc ".

Sure she doesn't have time. She watches junk TV and stupid reality shows all day. Her dog barks for hours in the yard because she is too lazy to take it for a walk.

 

Not being judge-y [ well, maybe a tad] but sometimes bull sh*& excuses are simply BS or human laziness.

 

All that said, its refreshing to get replies, calls etc from friends, acquaintances and family. I think common old school courtesy should be the rule not the exception in your circle.

Why fit in, when you were born to stand out ?

My Soundcloud with many originals:

[70's Songwriter]

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Some random observations:

 

7) I view a lot of this as selfishness or ego, pure and simple. The other party just doesn't care about you. You're there to be used, or not, when it's convenient for them. They have no manners or empathy and will leave you hanging until, like, forever.

 

Grey

 

all very common experiences. What we see here is mostly the 'rule ' , not the exception

 

My wife bottom lined it " There's a major breakdown in conventional manners ".

I call it " All about me ". Or simply " Users ".

 

we can lead by example, but its going to feel like you are on your own.

 

 

Er...I am on my own on this.

 

With rare exceptions I usually reply the same day, usually within an hour or two. This past Thursday was one of the exceptions in that I had a really bad day and did not trust myself to respond civilly to an email from someone who didn't deserve a rude reply, so I waited until the following morning before writing a response--still less than 24 hours, mind you. Even that's really rare for me. I can't remember the last time I purposefully let an email sit that long before replying.

 

I still say it's getting worse and the Rate Of Worseness (ROW[tm]) is increasing rapidly. Not that I can change things, mind you, but it's just...frustrating.

 

Grey

 

P.S.: I don't know why there's an errant HTML "i" up there. It looks normal in the reply box. Oh, well.

I'm not interested in someone's ability to program. I'm interested in their ability to compose and play.

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My running joke is that all these new ways to communicate just have given people more ways to not reply to you. :D

 

I know lots of people whom you have to tell them you sent an email via another means because they don't check their email anymore due to the junk that clutters their inbox. Maybe the 80 emails or whatever number above is right, but if that doesn't include junk mail they also have to sort through, things get lost or they just can't be bothered anymore. I've also had lots of people not get my emails because it ended up in their junk folder or they didn't get them at all, so they claim.

 

I've had real friends/contacts tell me in person things like, "I got your email, I just hadn't had a chance to reply" meaning that what I asked was more detailed than just them saying yes or no, so to give me the response they felt I should get would take more time than they had.

 

I feel like my sister (12 years older than me so not a kid) does it to me a lot. I'll start off a text conversation with some minor stuff and she'll reply right away, we have a good back and forth, and then when I ask a big question⦠crickets. It doesn't seem to matter if I start with the big question, either.

 

I do think there is something to this, in that we're in the paradoxical age when the people we have the most to say to, likely end up hearing from us the least--for the very fact that text doesn't do justice to the kinds of things we might want to say. I am unfortunately guilty of this. I hate sending anything "real" over text, but then often find the time or motivation to sit down a craft a real email to someone I would normally share a lot of information with, ends up in short supply. In those moments I do try to send off a "Thinking about you, let's connect soon" text, but that often ends the ride.

 

Some people get around this by talking on the phone; I'm not one of those people. I HATE the phone and never know what to say after the first order or two of business is completed. So instead occasionally a family member will say, "At least there is social medial so I can know what is going on for you," and after I pull the knife out of my heart, I apologize and promise to change and then don't really.

 

ON THE FLIP SIDE...many of the people who complain that they don't hear from you enough, also aren't exactly bombarding us with incoming fire either. Same mechanism as above: t's easier to complain about not getting a detailed update-message, than it is to craft one.

 

#sharing

Now out! "Mind the Gap," a 24-song album of new material.
www.joshweinstein.com

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[

 

I still say it's getting worse and the Rate Of Worseness (ROW[tm]) is increasing rapidly. Not that I can change things, mind you, but it's just...frustrating.

 

Grey

 

P.S.: I don't know why there's an errant HTML "i" up there. It looks normal in the reply box. Oh, well.

 

I see that , too. The 'quote' thingie here works or shows slightly different.

 

Take your long post, call it a rant, which is perfectly ok to type out here. I am also bitch^% about the state of ' communication '.

 

I did scan your long post, but did not thoroughly read it.

 

Sometimes, we are part of the 'problem ' with verbosity.

 

I sometimes get way too wordy and my wife calls me on it.

 

I am not perfect at summarizing or ' bottom lining ' it

Why fit in, when you were born to stand out ?

My Soundcloud with many originals:

[70's Songwriter]

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And really, its not hard to scan a list of 80 emails. I can do it in 5 minutes or less.

 

Happy to say I've never received that many email messages in one day.

 

 

 

same here. I reviewed the article- it was 88 business emails. That makes sense.

When I worked for big corps over 15 yrs ago, the email volume was ferocious.

 

I am retired, and still sell stuff on Amazon but its a small side hustle

 

With that and personal , my count is 30-40 per day. Many are ' acknowledgements ' which are quick deletes.

Others are pesty music co's like Arturia and Don't Crack. They refuse to unsubscribe.

 

I find it easy to keep on top of my incoming emails and texts.

 

My outgoing emails aren't much . Average 10-15 per day.

I have brief texts to family/friends. The volume is wave like.

A few a day then the occasional bunch

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why fit in, when you were born to stand out ?

My Soundcloud with many originals:

[70's Songwriter]

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Leaving people on "read" is such a snub that young people have turned it into a meme.

 

It's amazing in corporate America, where email is actually declining quite a bit, how many people do not have basic communication etiquette.

"For instance" is not proof.

 

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