Jump to content


Please note: You can easily log in to MPN using your Facebook account!

Craziest thing ever said to you at a gig


Recommended Posts

"Don't Alpha-Male me."

 

Said to me by the sound guy at my Saturday night gig as I was attempting to explain (politely and calmly, I thought) the night's lineup of musicians. Keeping in mind I'm 5'7" and 145 pounds, was sitting down on a stool while he stood on the stage.

 

Pretty stunning.

 

I really laughed at this one. Great stuff!

Hammond SKX

Mainstage 3

Link to comment
Share on other sites



  • Replies 432
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Top Posters In This Topic

Gotta admit it really, really incensed me in the moment, but it certainly does make a great story. He said a couple of other dumb things to me after this gem, but nothing quite like his first little zinger.

Nord: Piano 5 73, Electro 6D

Casio: PX-5S

Yamaha: P-121

Novation: MiniNova, BSII, Circuit

DSI Mopho x4

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Last Saturday, not necessarily a crazy thing said, just a bit of a story.

 

3rd set this girl in front of the stage gives me the "I'm watching you" motion, and I'm like "me? Why?" But keep playing. So I'm thinking maybe somebody actually recognized my playing or thought I looked cool or something. End of the night her and her friends call me over. She says "Lake? A couple months ago?". Now I did fill in with the same band Labor Day weekend at Lake of the Ozarks, so I'm like "yeah?". She says, I was drunk and don't remember it, but I have this picture of us in my phone, and shows it to me. At that point I knew exactly who she was - she was at the gig wearing fishnets and black panties with the band logo across the butt. I got pictures with her at an after party at a house near the gig. She apparently didn't remember it. Her picture was just a normal picture of her and I. I said "oh, I can do better than that" and pulled up on my phone a picture of my face next to her butt. Her and all of her friends died laughing and were all asking me to forward it to them. I said " it's ON Facebook"....they said really, where? We have to have it! So I gave them my name and the next day the girl in the pic friended me, found the pic, and shared it to her timeline.

 

I can just imagine all the time since Labor Day trying to figure out who that guy was in the picture on her phone and then finally seeing me on stage, lol.

 

Incidentally, her husband took all of the pictures and was also there Saturday night - so everything was on the up and up in that regard. No fooling around, just fun pictures.

Dan

 

Acoustic/Electric stringed instruments ranging from 4 to 230 strings, hammered, picked, fingered, slapped, and plucked. Analog and Digital Electronic instruments, reeds, and throat/mouth.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Actually, they didnt SAY anything.

 

Two very drunk cute young things flashed their boobs for me in the back hall by the restrooms at a Fat Tuesday show.

 

I had dropped by, had my gear in the car and was asked to sit in. Ended up staying and playing until close. A different drunk stranger tipped me $100 at the end of the night.

aka âmisterdregsâ

 

Nord Electro 5D 73

Yamaha P105

Kurzweil PC3LE7

Motion Sound KP200S

Schimmel 6-10LE

QSC CP-12

Westone AM Pro 30 IEMs

Rolls PM55P

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've mentioned this in that drug thread but it fits here too.

 

I'm known as a very Christian guy, very little alcohol, no escapades with girls etc. After one gig, bandmates and their friends passing around a joint. One girl hands it in my direction saying "Here you are - oh sorry" and then takes it back immediately.

Life is subtractive.
Genres: Jazz, funk, pop, Christian worship, BebHop
Wishlist: 80s-ish (synth)pop, symph pop, prog rock, fusion, musical theatre
Gear: NS2 + JUNO-G. KingKORG. SP6 at church.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...

Friday night I'm helping out a singer and accompany her at an open mic, using the rig of the house band (Yamaha MO6 if you must know).

 

Afterwards, the singer's mom says to me something like, either thats a really great piano, or you played really well! To which I replied, it must be a great piano then!

"I'm so crazy, I don't know this is impossible! Hoo hoo!" - Daffy Duck

 

"The good news is that once you start piano you never have to worry about getting laid again. More time to practice!" - MOI

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yah, well, in the things you can't unsee category.

 

I play in Vero Beach. Serious retired demographic who comes out to see our Dead cover band. We fill bars. All good.

 

This one couple is there every damn gig. In their 70s. The female flirts with us every time. We all love her.

 

Her last comment while seriously drunk? "I'm going to do each one of you if it kills me".

 

OK, great to have a goal in life.

Want to make your band better?  Check out "A Guide To Starting (Or Improving!) Your Own Local Band"

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Earlier tonight, not something anyone said, just a hilarious visual: guy on the dance floor trying to "discreetly" put a hand up his date's mini-skirt. What song were we playing at the time? "Don't Go Chasing Waterfalls."
:roll::roll::roll::roll::roll:

Now out! "Mind the Gap," a 24-song album of new material.
www.joshweinstein.com

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This isn't a gig story, but yesterday I got a text from some friends asking if I taught piano in other people's houses, or if they had to come to mine.

 

Here is why that is funny: They live directly across the street from me.

Now out! "Mind the Gap," a 24-song album of new material.
www.joshweinstein.com

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"I wanna make out with you right now so bad"

 

So I show her my wedding ring. The she turns to the bass player: "I wanna make out with you right now so bad" ... so he shows her his wife. LOL.

 

I think she was probably trying to rob us.

Hammond: L111, M100, M3, BC, CV, Franken CV, A100, D152, C3, B3

Leslie: 710, 760, 51C, 147, 145, 122, 22H, 31H

Yamaha: CP4, DGX-620, DX7II-FD-E!, PF85, DX9

Roland: VR-09, RD-800

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A Famous Person went to my undergrad while I was there, and came to the 10-year reunion. He was the "hot" one in his day, and was still pretty well-known 10 years later (though basically not at all now). He was standing at the bar near us at the reunion, when a woman came over to hit on him. She said, "Oh, my God, I am your biggest fan. I have seen, like, all your movies!" "Oh, yeah?" he said, seeing through her. "What was your favorite?" Her: [mind visibly scrambling to come up with even one] "Like, ALL of them!!! I like them ALL!!" He said thank you and turned back to the bar.

Now out! "Mind the Gap," a 24-song album of new material.
www.joshweinstein.com

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Some idiot asked one of the girls in our all girl front line Hip-Hop band if we did any Merle Haggard.

Pretty sure he was hoping to score some trim and lacked social skills.

Plus they Korean sisters. They use to make fun of Counttry Music

Magnus C350 + FMR RNP + Realistic Unisphere Mic
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 year later...

I am a guitarist, not good at keyboards at all.

Life would not be complete without posting my story. I have plenty but I will always remember this one.

 

I was in a band that played one Halloween gig annually. "XXXX XXXXXX And The Band From Hell". It picked up every year and on the 3rd year we crammed the place.

Fire Marshall would have pooped if he'd seen it.

 

Everybody is in costume, I had a gigantic red stick of dynamite in my pocket, shredded clothing and soot marks everywhere - The Guy That Exploded.

I looked to my left, at the entry and there is a Little Red Riding Hood just entering. For some reason, I keep an eye on her as she weaves her way through the crowd.

As she gets closer I realize it is The Bad Terrie (there was a Good Terrie and a Bad Terrie).

She smiled at me, walked right up to the front of the stage - an 18" riser.

She bent down over my feet and puked all over my multi-colored glitter tennis shoes!!!!

 

It was too funny to get pissed about. I threw them away later, nasty.

It took a chunk of my life to get here and I am still not sure where "here" is.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yay, my favorite thread is back! I know I've previously said the "dig my rig" thread is my favorite. Just roll with it.

 

This past weekend my cover band played at the annual Brew Fest at a taproom out in rural New York State. Unseasonably hot and humid for September. There's a band before us and a band after us and not a lot of changeover time, so the guitarist and I are setting up our gear in the parking lot while the band before us finishes their set (there's a door there that goes right to the stage).

 

The band was covering "Sex on Fire" by Kings of Leon, and I was talking about it to our guitarist -- about how that song was on the radio nonstop when I was in college, but I hadn't heard the name Kings of Leon in several years at this point. As this is happening, a voice behind me says "Well I think you're full of baloney."

 

I turn and there is a woman in her 80s who I have never seen before standing next to me. "Oh yeah?" I said. "Yes," she said. I stared at her for a few seconds. Then she walked away.

 

Never figured out what that was about...

 

 

Samuel B. Lupowitz

Musician. Songwriter. Food Enthusiast. Bad Pun Aficionado.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

About 30 years ago in a town outside Spokane WA, I had drunk want to fight me in the bathroom for "bad mouthing POW's". At the time was in the Air Force. My guitar was actually painted the same as the AF Thunderbirds planes! He then took a swing at me but was so drunk he fell down hitting his head on the urinal on the way down. It would have been funny if he hadn't started screaming that I hit him. Weird night! The bar owner was Chinese came in and started yelling at me in his native tongue. Lucky an off duty constable was taking a dump in one of the stalls and heard what actually went down. The whole night was awkward with customers wanting us to turn up the volume and the owners wife saying no. A fight started on the dance floor, the cops came and the drummer got food poisoning!

 

I've had customers request a song that was just played less than 10 minutes prior and argue that we hadn't. But that was definitely the weirdest night ever.

Boards: Kurzweil SP-6, Roland FA-08, VR-09, DeepMind 12

Modules: Korg Radias, Roland D-05, Bk7-m & Sonic Cell

Link to comment
Share on other sites

a drunk want to fight me in the bathroom

took a swing at me

so drunk he fell down hitting his head on the urinal

started screaming that I hit him.

Weird night!

The bar owner was Chinese

yelling at me in his native tongue.

an off duty constable was taking a dump in one of the stalls

The whole night was awkward

A fight started on the dance floor,

the cops came

the drummer got food poisoning!

 

I think when I write my memoirs from my time gigging in bars, I'd like to use these as the chapter headings if you don't mind.

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

-Mark Twain

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Band is in the school bus on break.

Strange girl jumps in the bus.

"I wanna **** the band!"

It's pretty obvious to us that she is a very dirty slut.

Except to the roadie who was rumored to have done unspeakable things.

The rest of us left those two to be alone.

Easily the craziest thing ever said to me... :ohmy:

And that was one time I did not regret saying "No".

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...
Just last night at a bar in Peoria a woman told me I had "very happy eyebrows". I said "thanks?", she slapped my ass and walked away.

M-Audio Hammer 88, Yamaha MODX6, Yamaha ReFace CP, Korg D1

MacBook Air 13" M1 (2021) Logic Pro X 10.5, Mainstage, Roland Cloud (Ultimate), U-He DIVA, Arturia V-8

JammSammich, Peoria, Illinois

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Back in the dark ages when I was still doing live gigs, a just came of the stage and a VERY attractive young lady was standing there and said to me "Do you want too screw?". My jaw dropped, She Smiled, and put a Philips head screw in my hand! Yep, she got me, Too funny!

 

 

Mike T.

Yamaha Motif ES8, Alesis Ion, Prophet 5 Rev 3.2, 1979 Rhodes Mark 1 Suitcase 73 Piano, Arp Odyssey Md III, Roland R-70 Drum Machine, Digitech Vocalist Live Pro. Roland Boss Chorus Ensemble CE-1.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I was in a Motown cover band and we were hired to play at the top of the Space Needle for a National Librarians Convention.

We had them all out there doing the Electric Slide near the end of our show.

 

As we were packing up, a short, round, balding gentleman in glasses and most of his suit and tie (no coat) came up to us and said "For just a little while, you made us feel like we weren't librarians!"

 

It took a chunk of my life to get here and I am still not sure where "here" is.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

As we were packing up, a short, round, balding gentleman in glasses and most of his suit and tie (no coat) came up to us and said "For just a little while, you made us feel like we weren't librarians!"

Boogie boogie boogie. :wink:

 

I had another good one at the same venue as my last story. This wasn't an all-day festival, just a 5pm-8pm live gig at the taproom in rural New York, so people were in and out, and not necessarily expecting live music. It's also not my cover band, it's my 7-piece mostly-original prog-funk band. One of our favorite compliments we've ever received is "it's not exactly easy listening music!" But we can control our volume, as best as a 7-piece band with horns and shreddy guitar can be expected to. I've heard many a four-piece band, often at the same venue, play MUCH louder than us. Please keep that in mind as I continue...

 

So we're powering through, dealing with the fact that there's never more than a handful of people all night, and they're mostly ignoring the band, when a group of slightly inebriated 50-somethings come in and get REALLY excited about the music. So we start engaging with them, and we're having a good time as we approach the end of our set, so during one song I decide to have some fun with them. I grab my Seaboard, hop off the stage, and sit myself down at their table while I keep playing. One of the gentlemen at the table leans over to me.

 

"The music's really great," he says, with that tone where you just KNOW some unwanted "advice" is coming your way, "but it's a little loud for the room."

 

What, you mean the room with the tin ceiling where they booked a 7-piece horn band?

 

But then he followed it up with my favorite qualifier:

 

"I know what I'm talking about -- I'm a sound guy."

 

Everyone's a $%#&ing sound guy.

 

Samuel B. Lupowitz

Musician. Songwriter. Food Enthusiast. Bad Pun Aficionado.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Unfortunately, your content contains terms that we do not allow. Please edit your content to remove the highlighted words below.
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...