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What won�t� you put up with anymore?


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Most of what Stokely and the MC already said...

 

All of the following events are real. The names have been changed to protect the incompetent:

 

- Drummer with variable-tempo syndrome who freak out when you put a click in their ears

- Cover-band guitarists who don't know how to recreate tone and dynamics

- Singers who can't find that 1st note

- Musicians who when asked what chord/note they just played at that one spot in that one measure reply, "This." and proceed to play it again.

- Harmony singers who sing the melody but insist they are singing harmony

 

As far as musicians that don't learn their parts prior to rehearsal, I will say that depends on the musician. I worked with a bassist years ago who was so fast-learn, he could listen to a tune once maybe twice at rehearsal and have the whole thing memorized. We'd just do a couple low-vol play-alongs then bust through it live.

 

High volume musicians used to bug me but since I started doing ear-bugs at rehearsals it's no biggie. If they can't hear me they can turn up the keys in mains/wedges.

 

~ vonnor

 

Gear:

Hardware: Nord Stage3, Korg Kronos 2, Novation Summit

Software: Cantabile 3, Halion Sonic 3 and assorted VST plug-ins.

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The comments about schlepping onto the Queen Mary cause me to shudder about an upcoming gig.

 

We're playing on a Casino boat sailing out of Port Canaveral, FL. We have to be there NLT 4 PM (It's a Friday, and I normally work until 5:30). PA will be supplied, but that's it. We MUST be able to bring our gear on and off in one trip a piece. OK, I can, with the help of several bungee cords holding everything on the dolly. The drummer, well it normally takes him 5 trips for his gear. Bass player should have no issues, because he won't be schlepping the PA. Guitar player, no problem.

 

We get set up, then play while the boat is sailing out into international waters, where they can turn on the machines. We then quit for several hours, and start playing when they turn the machines off on the trip back in.

 

8-10 hours for probably 2 sets

 

Hey, I've done that gig a few times! Although I think we did the earlier shift iirc, it's been a few years, and it didn't last quite that long.

 

It is quite the long haul, you have to go through a security check--definitely one trip. We all have rock'n'roller carts now, and this is certainly the gig to have one. The gangplank to get on the ship is bumpy and can be tricky for a large heavy cart.

 

The PA is minimal, I want to say they only had a couple monitors...and in my opinion, I'd bring a minimum of stuff. I know some drummers don't like to hear that :) I don't recall much being put through the PA, it's not high volume and you'll be mostly playing for people resting on chairs prior to gambling (and of course, on the way back). I would not call the audience "discerning", though of course always bring the A game...just maybe not the A rig, because IMO that won't matter for this one. The food is GREAT (if they are feeding you), or at least surprisingly better than the ship condition :D

 

They have a nice place to store cases in the back of the room you play in. Forget the sound guy's name, black guy that was really nice...he set us up and away we went, the mixer is behind and to the side of the band so there wasn't really any mixing during the show.

 

It's actually a pretty fun low-key gig, just hope you aren't prone to motion sickness....not out very far (at all) but our singer got pretty sick. iirc the boat basically stops once out there, and that's when the motion sickness can hit.

 

 

 

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I have a hand truck that will convert into a cart. I use 2 keyboards and a QSC K10, my keys stand fits into a case, my amp stand and mike stand into another case, all my cables, mixing board, and if possible my board stand (a tripod laptop stand) in a trunk. I think I can get it all on there and secure it so it won't shift on the gangplank.

 

As far as monitor, I run my amp facing at me, using one channel for the keys, and the other for monitor. Maybe I can get a line with the vocals there.

 

All depends if I determine I need the Hammond for this one.

 

"In the beginning, Adam had the blues, 'cause he was lonesome.

So God helped him and created woman.

 

Now everybody's got the blues."

 

Willie Dixon

 

 

 

 

 

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I won't play with convicted sex offenders.

 

There's one floating around town, he used to be in my band, and we kicked his ass out the moment the verdict was handed down. Unfortunately he's out and sometimes fills in on drums for my working band (not when I'm there). Our drummer was his defense attorney (not a problem, it's part of the job) but also PERSONALLY advocates for him (not okay). He f****d a kid, I won't share the stage with him. I suspect it'll get me fired one of these days, but that's where I draw the line.

Puck Funk! :)

 

Equipment: Laptop running lots of nerdy software, some keyboards, noise makersâ¦yada yada yadaâ¦maybe a cat?

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First thing I thought of:

 

When I lived in LA, what I wouldn"t tolerate anymore...

 

The Queen Mary.

 

(You have to be there. Often bands had to load in through a single tiny service elevator, shared with food staff, that would never be enlarged for historical preservation excuses).

 

homey don"t do the Queen.

 

The #1 worst schlep in LA, without a doubt !

 

 

That's pretty funny. I've been there, many times! I just smile and take the normal elevator anyway. Sometimes you have to go forgiveness not permission on some of this stuff for your own sanity.

Kawai C-60 Grand Piano : Hammond A-100 : Hammond SK2 : Yamaha CP4 : Yamaha Montage 7 : Moog Sub 37

 

My latest album: Funky organ, huge horn section

https://bobbycressey.bandcamp.com/album/cali-native

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I have a hand truck that will convert into a cart. I use 2 keyboards and a QSC K10, my keys stand fits into a case, my amp stand and mike stand into another case, all my cables, mixing board, and if possible my board stand (a tripod laptop stand) in a trunk. I think I can get it all on there and secure it so it won't shift on the gangplank.

 

As far as monitor, I run my amp facing at me, using one channel for the keys, and the other for monitor. Maybe I can get a line with the vocals there.

 

All depends if I determine I need the Hammond for this one.

 

As in, real Hammond? I would say definitely not a gig where you need something like that. Even a clonewheel for a better organ sound, nobody will likely be paying attention. I normally use two keyboards on gigs, this is a gig where i just brought one.

 

Caveat: we played the morning outing, so the "scale" of the two gigs might be different, and possibly the audience too (morning run is mostly made up of elderly gamblers :D) So keep that in mind with anything I say, it's possible the evening runs are more upscale and they expect more. Could even be a different stage I suppose though I doubt that. I guess if you can fit it on your cart, it won't hurt. Space is a bit tight on the stage also. Bringing your speaker is a good idea, as you may not have a dedicated monitor.

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I forgot about the boat gigs because I haven"t done one this century. Once I was playing a party on a boat that was supposed to depart from the Seaport in lower Manhattan only to find out (after parking and schlepping my gear to the boat) that it was not operational. The band and all the guests had to go to Brooklyn â which is just across the East River but not as easy to get to as it might sound â to board another boat. Most gigs in Manhattan have difficult load ins which is why now I"ll only play there if they have a piano.
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The comments about schlepping onto the Queen Mary cause me to shudder about an upcoming gig.

 

We're playing on a Casino boat sailing out of Port Canaveral, FL. We have to be there NLT 4 PM (It's a Friday, and I normally work until 5:30). PA will be supplied, but that's it. We MUST be able to bring our gear on and off in one trip a piece. OK, I can, with the help of several bungee cords holding everything on the dolly. The drummer, well it normally takes him 5 trips for his gear. Bass player should have no issues, because he won't be schlepping the PA. Guitar player, no problem.

 

We get set up, then play while the boat is sailing out into international waters, where they can turn on the machines. We then quit for several hours, and start playing when they turn the machines off on the trip back in.

 

8-10 hours for probably 2 sets

The gambling Cruise To Nowhere? I lost money on that ship once! What would possess you guys to take that gig? Does it pay that well where it"s worth 8-10 hours?

The fact there's a Highway To Hell and only a Stairway To Heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers

 

People only say "It's a free country" when they're doing something shitty-Demetri Martin

 

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Loud guitarist who played over piano fills on 'Back In The USA' because he"d found a video of a live version with a couple of famous guitar players trading back and forth.

 

 

aka âmisterdregsâ

 

Nord Electro 5D 73

Yamaha P105

Kurzweil PC3LE7

Motion Sound KP200S

Schimmel 6-10LE

QSC CP-12

Westone AM Pro 30 IEMs

Rolls PM55P

 

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Hmmm, I took a year off from our church praise band because of the same-old, same-old.

 

Only one really decent leader who plays piano and is well organized... arrives early with music, no surprises.

 

But the other leaders are a couple. Often late for practice and never had copies of the music so we stood around waiting for someone to unlock the church office so they could use the copier. Is it that expensive to print the music at home?

 

May as well go out for coffee. :facepalm:

 

 

When an eel hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a Moray.
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The comments about schlepping onto the Queen Mary cause me to shudder about an upcoming gig.

 

We're playing on a Casino boat sailing out of Port Canaveral, FL. We have to be there NLT 4 PM (It's a Friday, and I normally work until 5:30). PA will be supplied, but that's it. We MUST be able to bring our gear on and off in one trip a piece. OK, I can, with the help of several bungee cords holding everything on the dolly. The drummer, well it normally takes him 5 trips for his gear. Bass player should have no issues, because he won't be schlepping the PA. Guitar player, no problem.

 

We get set up, then play while the boat is sailing out into international waters, where they can turn on the machines. We then quit for several hours, and start playing when they turn the machines off on the trip back in.

 

8-10 hours for probably 2 sets

The gambling Cruise To Nowhere? I lost money on that ship once! What would possess you guys to take that gig? Does it pay that well where it"s worth 8-10 hours?

 

Not my choice.

 

The bass player booked it.

 

This was after I have repeatedly told my band members that I cannot play early Friday gigs because of my day job. I will have to take some vacation time to make the gig.

 

We have to be on the boat by 4 PM. I get off work at 5:30, and it's an hour or so drive to get there.

 

Not happy about this one. The money and the food better be really good.

 

"In the beginning, Adam had the blues, 'cause he was lonesome.

So God helped him and created woman.

 

Now everybody's got the blues."

 

Willie Dixon

 

 

 

 

 

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I have my own list of "Band don'ts" -- noodling at full volume during rehearsal, inebriation etc. But those have been covered above, so I'll mention a different aspect: Lack of listening.

 

A few years back, I was in four bands (which was GREAT), generally performing different instrumental functions: keyboards, bass, guitar, bg vox. Eventually I left all four, because none of the bands were really 'alive' -- each participant played their parts without real regard for what anyone else was doing. They did it all at the same time, and they were copying what they'd heard in the source recording, so it appeared to be a band playing, but really it was everyone playing karaoke to the songs in their memory.

 

Of course this works fine -- until something goes awry, not according to plan -- and then they're lost: drummer stops dead, guitarist stops playing. Or worse, become out of sync with each other (and then *hopefully* stop dead). I'm no genius improviser, but just regurgitating parts isn't all music can be.

 

It's not the gear, it's the player ... but hey, look -- new gear!

 

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