Synthoid Posted August 2, 2019 Share Posted August 2, 2019 The sequel In addition to his unusual comedic interjections within a conversation, this particular friend is also used by others on a regular basis. It's quite disconcerting. He's often fixing someone's car, giving strangers rides, or doing electrical work for a neighbor. Awhile back he was pressed into running the sound system for his church's evening services because the pastor told him "there's nobody else to help." Guilt trip. He allowed his married son and wife to live at home (rent-free I believe}.That was driving my friend's wife up the wall. The young couple finally moved out. But the big "zinger" came just a few hours ago when my friend told me he had helped someone move this week... at 2AM! Who moves at that hour? It was some sort of last minute thing, but still... can't the people take a day of from work, wait until the weekend, pay extra for a few more days at their apartment? Don't get me wrong, it's great to help people out but this is extreme. I finally told him "You need to say "no" once in awhile." That fell on deaf ears. Quote When an eel hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a Moray. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElmerJFudd Posted August 2, 2019 Share Posted August 2, 2019 He sounds like the kindest of souls. What comes around goes around. I"d hope when the day comes that he needs a hand there is a line out the door. Quote Yamaha CP88, Casio PX-560 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stoken6 Posted August 2, 2019 Share Posted August 2, 2019 He's suffering from insecurity. "I want people to like me, so I'll help them, and try and make them laugh, because then they'll like me". I feel for that guy, because I was a *tiny bit* like that in my youth. I grew up after a while, and realised I'm too busy with work, family and other commitments to waste time caring what people think of me. Cheers, Mike. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Synthoid Posted August 2, 2019 Author Share Posted August 2, 2019 He already has health problems and marital issues. All the "extracurricular activities" seem like a long-term detriment to both. Quote When an eel hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a Moray. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElmerJFudd Posted August 2, 2019 Share Posted August 2, 2019 Sounds like he needs to get out of the house as much as possible. Maybe he"s making up for time wasted, less than stellar deeds from an earlier time in his life. Quote Yamaha CP88, Casio PX-560 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MathOfInsects Posted August 3, 2019 Share Posted August 3, 2019 I have to be honest: I am starting to feel he is not the one being a difficult friend. Taking this thread together with the last, I am wondering if in fact his so-called weird behavior, with all the jokes, is him trying to find the way into you, rather than keeping you out of him. It's difficult to read the description in this thread and not get a picture of an outstandingly thoughtful person. I actually now feel kind of cruddy that he has been the subject of two threads here now psychoanalyzing him. What is the flaw, except that he is unusually kind and also tries to make you laugh? It would be worth asking yourself why you have such a viscerally bad reaction to what, from the outside, sounds like some pretty decent character traits. It might be possible that you are projecting something onto him, that you are working out in yourself. (Obviously saying this without knowing either of you at all.) Quote Now out! "Mind the Gap," a 24-song album of new material. www.joshweinstein.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Synthoid Posted August 3, 2019 Author Share Posted August 3, 2019 (Obviously saying this without knowing either of you at all.) Yes and you're way off. My friend's wife had a very difficult time while her son and his wife were living with them. There were conflicts and arguments all the time. She was also annoyed when my friend was out of the house several times last year helping some strange woman move. That was a real strain on their relationship. There's a lot going on that I didn't mention. He just lets people walk all over him. My friend often speaks about being very tired, has difficulty concentrating, and suffers from heart and digestive disorders... among other things. I've been concerned about his declining health. It's obvious that he's running himself into the ground. Quote When an eel hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a Moray. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
George88 Posted August 3, 2019 Share Posted August 3, 2019 I"ll take co-dependency for 800, Alex. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Lobo Posted August 3, 2019 Share Posted August 3, 2019 She was also annoyed when my friend was out of the house several times last year helping some strange woman move.She's got a point. If your friend can't understand why his wife would be annoyed about him helping strange women (plural?) move, then he's got a serious personality problem. My friend often speaks about being very tired, has difficulty concentrating, and suffers from heart and digestive disorders... among other things.. It's quite possible that his serious physical problems are creating some mental problems. Is he being treated for his heart and digestive disorders? Quote These are only my opinions, not supported by any actual knowledge, experience, or expertise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Synthoid Posted August 3, 2019 Author Share Posted August 3, 2019 If your friend can't understand why his wife would be annoyed about him helping strange women (plural?) move, then he's got a serious personality problem. We had a long talk about this last year during one of his visits. He was also giving this other woman rides when her car broke down. When I told him that was inappropriate, all he said was, "Yeah but nobody else would help her." I told him that wasn't his responsibility. It's quite possible that his serious physical problems are creating some mental problems. Is he being treated for his heart and digestive disorders? Yes he's had various appointments and tests during the last year... missed several work days. He has regular medications and natural remedies as well but often forgets to take them. Not taking good care of himself and slowly fading away. Quote When an eel hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a Moray. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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