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#2989406 - 05/13/19 10:32 AM Was I right or wrong?
surfergirl Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 12/12/17
Posts: 196
Loc: Waialua, Hi
Gigs are hard to come by here, so we have to make the best of every opportunity. We have been best friends forever, and have rarely disagreed, but during the Christmas holidays we had a gig scheduled and were offered another one for more money. I wanted to keep our commitment to the first gig for less money, everyone else wanted to go for more money. There was no contract but I was always taught that your word meant something. I eventually did win, but should I have let majority rule or was I right to hold out to do what I felt was the right thing.

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#2989407 - 05/13/19 10:40 AM Re: Was I right or wrong? [Re: surfergirl]
J. Dan Offline
Bannination Free Since '08
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Registered: 07/25/08
Posts: 13010
Loc: St. Louis, MO
There's a lot more to consider in answering that question than "is it right - yes or no?"

Cancellations can happen for any number of reasons, and if it was a bar gig, don't think for a second that they wouldn't hesitate to cancel a band.

That said, of course you want to build a good relationship. It also depends on how far in advance you cancel. If it's 2 months in advance, they have plenty of time to find a replacement. If it's the day before, you're causing them a hardship.

When I was in a fairly popular local bands, we would fill up our calendar a year in advance with bar gigs, usually on a regular rotation. But as private parties and weddings popped up, we would cancel the bar gigs as needed, always giving them plenty of advance notice. We were high enough in depend and did well enough when they played there that we held the cards and they'd take us when they would get us.

I would NEVER cancel a wedding, private party, festival, or casino.
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#2989413 - 05/13/19 11:06 AM Re: Was I right or wrong? [Re: J. Dan]
Larryz Offline
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Registered: 06/23/08
Posts: 12002
Loc: Northern California
I think you made the right decision Surfer Girl. Hopefully the band will discuss the issue and make a rule to honor all future commitments. There are legitimate reasons to cancel a gig if someone gets sick or hurt in an accident, health issues, etc. In your area where gigs are hard to come by, it's important to establish a good reputation even if it means less money on a gig or two. You would expect the establishment to hold up their end of the bargain as well. There is nothing wrong with calling the establishment well in advance to see if the date and time can be changed if a scheduling issue comes up. +1 on honoring your word... cool
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#2989416 - 05/13/19 11:23 AM Re: Was I right or wrong? [Re: Larryz]
jimmac Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 318
Loc: Jackson, Michigan
I agree with larryz. I would not even give a change like this a second thought on short notice. Jim

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#2989427 - 05/13/19 12:02 PM Re: Was I right or wrong? [Re: jimmac]
zeronyne Offline
I still exist
MP Hall of Fame Member

Registered: 05/16/03
Posts: 6773
Loc: Chicago/NW Indiana
Within six months, the money made at either gig will be gone. Your reputation as a band will still have to serve you. You made the right choice, and so did your band.
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"For instance" is not proof.

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#2989468 - 05/13/19 03:58 PM Re: Was I right or wrong? [Re: surfergirl]
desertbluesman Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member

Registered: 05/22/07
Posts: 4994
Loc: Near Phoenix Az
Originally Posted By: surfergirl
There was no contract but I was always taught that your word meant something. I eventually did win, but should I have let majority rule or was I right to hold out to do what I felt was the right thing.


I think integrity is way more important than the measly few bucks extra you might have received putting money first and your personal integrity last.

I applaud you surfergirl. Money ain't that hard to come by but your personal integrity is a jewel, a hidden jewel maybe, but a jewel none the less.

Plus you might have taught your band-mates a decent lesson, holding out so you could keep your word. All in all a win win, and very little loss.
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#2989491 - 05/13/19 07:00 PM Re: Was I right or wrong? [Re: desertbluesman]
Dannyalcatraz Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member

Registered: 07/28/04
Posts: 5827
Loc: Dallas/FW Metroplex, Texas
Your reputation will ultimately make (or cost) you more money than a single gig. Always be professional, and you’ll always be treated like one.

Example 1: I know of a band that was big in D/FW back in the 1990s. A lot of people who saw them play thought they were on the cusp of national success. I saw them at SXSW, and I agreed. But they supposedly had a bad gigging rep around town: showing up late, playing over their allotted time, cutting shows short, canceling at the last minute, or simply not showing up. They ultimately DID get success at the national level...many years later after starting over, moving to another state, and becoming someone else’s backup band.

Example 2: I got to see BÖC playing in a bar in Austin, Texas in the mid-1990s. The opening band were Austin locals, and the middle act was from Houston that had just signed a major label contract. During the excellent show from the openers, a tall, shirtless, fat drunk guy in a sheepskin vest who was standing next to me was hitting on my friend, and nearly falling over me in the process . Then- surprise, surprise- he got up on stage to take up a position at the keyboards for the Houstonians. The band was generally pretty good, but all set long, HE was off key, off tempo, and even played portions of the wrong songs.

I have some of that band’s CDs: no keyboard player.


Edited by Dannyalcatraz (05/13/19 07:01 PM)
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#2989498 - 05/13/19 07:43 PM Re: Was I right or wrong? [Re: Dannyalcatraz]
picker Offline
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Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 13632
Loc: Near 12th Street and Vine...
Surfergirl, I'm proud to be associated with you, even in the minimal way of visiting the same website. There aren't enough people who value their integrity when it costs them. Thank you for being one of them.
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#2989520 - 05/14/19 04:39 AM Re: Was I right or wrong? [Re: picker]
whitefang Offline
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Registered: 05/13/02
Posts: 11659
Loc: Lincoln Park, MI, UNITED STATE...
I salute your integrity too.

SOMEbody's got to take charge and be the "leader". And if your band lacks an actual manager, then choose someone to handle all the business end and can do so without their musical input suffering. And I'm guessing YOU'RE that person! smile

An Uncle of mine used to paraphrase---

"Nice guys might finish last, but they finish BEST, and in better shape." wink
Whitefang
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#2989523 - 05/14/19 05:16 AM Re: Was I right or wrong? [Re: picker]
Caevan O'Shite Offline
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Registered: 04/05/02
Posts: 24962
Loc: The Great Spirit's Handprint o...
Short answer: you were right.

MUCH EXCELLENT observation in the posts above.
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#2989544 - 05/14/19 07:55 AM Re: Was I right or wrong? [Re: Caevan O'Shite]
DocPate Offline
Gold Member

Registered: 01/11/16
Posts: 981
Loc: Virginia
Surfer Girl, absolutely correct decision. Reminds me of the son: "You've Got To Stand For Something" by Aaron Tippin (Country)


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#2989548 - 05/14/19 08:35 AM Re: Was I right or wrong? [Re: surfergirl]
Fred_C Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member

Registered: 06/12/10
Posts: 2201
Loc: PA
"To thine own self be true and thou canst be false to no man".
-Wm. Shakespeare
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#2989572 - 05/14/19 11:18 AM Re: Was I right or wrong? [Re: Fred_C]
surfergirl Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 12/12/17
Posts: 196
Loc: Waialua, Hi
Thanks everyone for the feedback. The guys understood it was the right thing. We used it as a learning experience. Better communications between us. I was still operating like we were still in school and kinda accepting what was offered instead of negotiating.

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#2989629 - 05/14/19 10:24 PM Re: Was I right or wrong? [Re: surfergirl]
Caevan O'Shite Offline
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Registered: 04/05/02
Posts: 24962
Loc: The Great Spirit's Handprint o...
Originally Posted By: surfergirl
Thanks everyone for the feedback. The guys understood it was the right thing. We used it as a learning experience. Better communications between us. I was still operating like we were still in school and kinda accepting what was offered instead of negotiating.


That's a whole skill-set to be developed in itself! I'm certainly not terribly well versed in that, myself.
_________________________
Ask yourself- What Would Ren and Stimpy Do?

~ Caevan James-Michael Miller-O'Shite ~
_ ___ _ Leprechaun, Esquire _ ___ _

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#2989640 - 05/15/19 04:09 AM Re: Was I right or wrong? [Re: Fred_C]
whitefang Offline
10k Club

Registered: 05/13/02
Posts: 11659
Loc: Lincoln Park, MI, UNITED STATE...
Originally Posted By: Fred_C
"To thine own self be true and thou canst be false to no man".
-Wm. Shakespeare


Usually good advice, but take it with a grain of salt( 'cause it depends on where you are....)

Every time I'VE tried that here, I got a lot of grief. wink
Whitefang
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I started out with NOTHING...and I still have most of it left!

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#2989648 - 05/15/19 04:57 AM Re: Was I right or wrong? [Re: whitefang]
Fred_C Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member

Registered: 06/12/10
Posts: 2201
Loc: PA
No comment.
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#2989651 - 05/15/19 05:11 AM Re: Was I right or wrong? [Re: Fred_C]
Caevan O'Shite Offline
20k Club

Registered: 04/05/02
Posts: 24962
Loc: The Great Spirit's Handprint o...
Originally Posted By: Fred_C
"To thine own self be true and thou canst be false to no man".
-Wm. Shakespeare


Indeed. Troof.
_________________________
Ask yourself- What Would Ren and Stimpy Do?

~ Caevan James-Michael Miller-O'Shite ~
_ ___ _ Leprechaun, Esquire _ ___ _

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#2989807 - 05/16/19 04:20 AM Re: Was I right or wrong? [Re: Fred_C]
whitefang Offline
10k Club

Registered: 05/13/02
Posts: 11659
Loc: Lincoln Park, MI, UNITED STATE...
Originally Posted By: Fred_C
No comment.


None needed. Just spittin' out some sour grapes is all.... wink
Whitefang
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I started out with NOTHING...and I still have most of it left!

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