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#2984147 - 04/08/19 11:22 AM Re: Eliminating all the stress in my life. [Re: A String]
Winston Psmith Offline
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Registered: 02/15/10
Posts: 3716
Loc: Inside the Beltway
Originally Posted By: A String
Mainly, I don't want to see a witch hunt. - However, I implore everyone to give him one last chance.


Understood, but, respectfully, this isn't a witch hunt, it's a long-simmering pot come to a boil. As to your last point, to paraphrase a popular saying, "I'm all out of chances to give."

Thanks for letting me have my say. All the best . . .
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#2984152 - 04/08/19 11:35 AM Re: Eliminating all the stress in my life. [Re: surfergirl]
Fred_C Offline
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Registered: 06/12/10
Posts: 2164
Loc: PA
I'm certain that most of you are already aware of my opinion on the member under discussion.

In the past, I simply ignored his venomous posts and will continue to do so. I got tired of arguing with someone whose opinions had no basis in fact, but rather were based on "magic, smoke and mirrors".

I will say that I am very pleased to see the management take him to task for his vitriol.
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#2984153 - 04/08/19 11:38 AM Re: Eliminating all the stress in my life. [Re: Fred_C]
Larryz Offline
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Registered: 06/23/08
Posts: 11970
Loc: Northern California
Glad to see you are back with us and got your sign-on working again Brother Fred! thu
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#2984154 - 04/08/19 11:40 AM Re: Eliminating all the stress in my life. [Re: Larryz]
Fred_C Offline
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Registered: 06/12/10
Posts: 2164
Loc: PA
Thanks Bro. Larry for your friendship and assistance.
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#2984155 - 04/08/19 11:40 AM Re: Eliminating all the stress in my life. [Re: Larryz]
Larryz Offline
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Registered: 06/23/08
Posts: 11970
Loc: Northern California
Thanks A String! cool
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#2984158 - 04/08/19 11:44 AM Re: Eliminating all the stress in my life. [Re: A String]
Fred_C Offline
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Registered: 06/12/10
Posts: 2164
Loc: PA
Hey Craig,

Thank you so much for welcoming me back.
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#2984166 - 04/08/19 12:14 PM Re: Eliminating all the stress in my life. [Re: Winston Psmith]
A String Administrator Offline
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Registered: 12/18/03
Posts: 12230
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Originally Posted By: Winston Psmith
respectfully, this isn't a witch hunt, it's a long-simmering pot come to a boil.


Maybe "Witch Hunt" was too strong a phrase for the situation. My point was simply that I want to maintain cool heads here. He now knows he has a final chance. Should he blow it, he's gone. Everyone else can continue life, as usual.

I can't stress enough. I am trying to take everyone's feelings into consideration here. I understand how everyone feels and will do my best to make sure that it all ends here, today.
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#2984288 - 04/09/19 05:10 AM Re: Eliminating all the stress in my life. [Re: A String]
whitefang Offline
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Registered: 05/13/02
Posts: 11601
Loc: Lincoln Park, MI, UNITED STATE...
First off, I never considered what I did as "trolling". I always made it clear, one way or another, or simply by making sure by the way things were stated, that it WAS all "tongue in cheek" and no serious offense was being given. And I refuse to believe that NObody here EVER "teases" anyone they know, friend or family, and either mildly or mercilessly, and with NO intent to do "damage".

And, certainly I can't be blamed if what others read(or rather, not really) is taken out of context. OR doesn't assuage anyone's inner sense of self. After all, this place ISN'T called, "The guitar player's POLLYANNA forum" right? And I too, have had a fair share of vitriol come my way(and not ONCE considered threatening to leave or run whining and crying to the mods) and mostly due to( as I pointed out a bit ago) somebody taking things way out of context, or else my response and/or opinion wasn't the one THEY thought it SHOULD be. And that can't be helped. I look at this place as an extension of real life. And we ALL know( since I give all here the benefit of the doubt of being mature enough) that in "real life", that if you DON'T want honest opinions, then don't ask for ANY.

And despite what Astring claims, I NEVER personally received any "warning" of any kind. Not that I noticed here, or in a PM( which is where they should have come). But I'll take it under advisement. I like the idea of everyone getting along here, but I'm not sure I could long endure this as a place to come for fabricated sincerity, or becomes just becomes a huge "pod person" circle jerk.

After all, as I've pointed out before, THOSE are two of the main reasons I quit bothering with FB. AND why I prefer forums and message boards. And so now, I invite ANYONE to dredge up an old forum archive in which I clearly stated I DON'T like, or DIDN'T like anyone in particular in these forums. And NOT a case where it might have been perceived so because I expressed a negative opinion about a previous post they might have made, and perhaps that opinion was brutally honest.
Whitefang
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#2984308 - 04/09/19 08:34 AM Re: Eliminating all the stress in my life. [Re: whitefang]
desertbluesman Offline
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Registered: 05/22/07
Posts: 4973
Loc: Near Phoenix Az
It is not a matter of what you intended Fangster, it is how the outside world perceives what you presented. And your presentation was actually perceived as trolling by almost everyone else on the board. The only one who got your intent was you. I just learned to overlook what was coming at me from your little quips, but others are not likely to excuse your presentation, because it read like trolling to everyone else but you.
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#2984316 - 04/09/19 09:26 AM Re: Eliminating all the stress in my life. [Re: desertbluesman]
Fred_C Offline
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Registered: 06/12/10
Posts: 2164
Loc: PA
"Adults accept responsibility for their actions, or the lack thereof".

WF refuses to accept responsibility. His claims of "good-natured ribbing" etc. is nothing more than a cop out.
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#2984322 - 04/09/19 09:46 AM Re: Eliminating all the stress in my life. [Re: Fred_C]
Danzilla Offline
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Registered: 01/09/04
Posts: 5576
Loc: Baltimore, MD
Glad you're sticking around, Surfer Girl. Just don't become too thick skinned that you become callous, or a Cannibal Surf Babe.

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#2984325 - 04/09/19 10:13 AM Re: Eliminating all the stress in my life. [Re: Danzilla]
A String Administrator Offline
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Posts: 12230
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Whitefang....Dude. Seriously? Look, YOUR intent has nothing to do with it. Your actions are being perceived by others as "Trolling". Your "Funny comments" are being interpreted as jabs. The correct response here is "sorry I came across that way. I'll cool it in future posts". Defending yourself and your actions is not the correct way to go here. When it has gotten so bad that we are losing members over it, it's time for a change.
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#2984330 - 04/09/19 10:41 AM Re: Eliminating all the stress in my life. [Re: A String]
d / halfnote Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member

Registered: 03/20/01
Posts: 7635
Loc: no longer lexington, Kenfunky,...
emm, of one member's egregiously annoyingI just got wind of this.
Let me add myself to the chorus of voices hoping SG (the only one us who's ID is an actual gtr (kinda sorta) stays .

There has been increasing recognition, even amoungst those who once defended him, of one member's egregiously annoying behavior.
Originally Posted By: Danzilla
Do what I do - stick around, but just block viewing his responses. Communicate with the ones who matter to you, without having to read irrelevant posts.

Not bad advice but the prob w/that is one doesn't know what's being posted & replied to regarding whatever's in those unseen posts.
I suggest this: leave the posts unblocked but do not reply directly to the one you consider a pest, even if you feel compelled to address certain of their remarks.

I trust A String to monitor this correctly.

I also think this concept is worth pondering....
[& I don't mean SG ]


Edited by d / halfnote (04/09/19 11:48 AM)
Edit Reason: clarifications
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#2984332 - 04/09/19 10:59 AM Re: Eliminating all the stress in my life. [Re: d / halfnote]
Scott Fraser Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member

Registered: 03/20/05
Posts: 5319
Loc: Los Angeles
Friends, I hope we can all take a deep breath, step back, & remember why we're all here in the first place.

Nobody here has the right to drive anyone else out, (except the moderators), but equally, nobody should ever feel compelled to leave the forum based on interactions with any individual. Let's all remember that text based conversation loses all the body language, inflection & facial gestures which tell humans everything they need to know about another's intentions. Misinterpretation is easy, much is either not communicated, or is communicated incorrectly, or with errors. But mainly, unlike many face to face encounters, if something rubs the wrong way, we all have the option of ignoring it. We don't have to prove any points if those points aren't somehow apparent to someone else. We can all step away from a brewing argument.

Back to guitars, I spent some great time yesterday with a PRS CE24. Loved everything about it, couldn't find any bad sounds within it, might could open my wallet for it.
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#2984337 - 04/09/19 11:37 AM Re: Eliminating all the stress in my life. [Re: Scott Fraser]
d / halfnote Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member

Registered: 03/20/01
Posts: 7635
Loc: no longer lexington, Kenfunky,...
SURF GTR !
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#2984378 - 04/09/19 04:15 PM Re: Eliminating all the stress in my life. [Re: d / halfnote]
Larryz Offline
10k Club

Registered: 06/23/08
Posts: 11970
Loc: Northern California
I hope we can all play a part in making our younger members and our female members feel comfortable and welcome on the forum. We need more of them. We can learn a lot from them and we are there to help whenever they need us too!

Like d, I believe A String does a great job in monitoring these types of situations. Thanks A String! cool



Edited by Larryz (04/09/19 06:48 PM)
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#2984380 - 04/09/19 04:25 PM Re: Eliminating all the stress in my life. [Re: Larryz]
Dannyalcatraz Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member

Registered: 07/28/04
Posts: 5803
Loc: Dallas/FW Metroplex, Texas
If we’re posting surf vids...

One of my favorite bands speaks Laika & the Cosmonauts, with “Disconnected” being one of my favorites by them. Here’s a live version:
Click to reveal..


Forgot- that has a huge interview in Finnish tacked onto the end. Here’s the original album version:


Edited by Dannyalcatraz (04/09/19 04:46 PM)
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#2984411 - 04/09/19 07:48 PM Re: Eliminating all the stress in my life. [Re: Dannyalcatraz]
Larryz Offline
10k Club

Registered: 06/23/08
Posts: 11970
Loc: Northern California
Here's my favorite surf tune by Dick Dale and Stevie Ray Vaughan:



cool cool


Edited by Larryz (04/09/19 07:49 PM)
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#2984442 - 04/10/19 04:52 AM Re: Eliminating all the stress in my life. [Re: Fred_C]
whitefang Offline
10k Club

Registered: 05/13/02
Posts: 11601
Loc: Lincoln Park, MI, UNITED STATE...
Originally Posted By: Fred_C
"Adults accept responsibility for their actions, or the lack thereof".

WF refuses to accept responsibility. His claims of "good-natured ribbing" etc. is nothing more than a cop out.


See, this is what I mean by context. I never denied posting whatever I did. And the "good natured ribbing" claim is a "cop out" only if it ISN'T true.(meaning if it wasn't my actual intent). And too, don't we want honesty here? Or....

DON'T we? I never looked at this forum as some kind of "virtual" masquerade party where we all take on false identities( beyond our "screen names" ) and NOT be ourselves.

I also never thought of this, or any other forum to be a place to come for getting insecurities assuaged. That, plus I'm not the only one here rubs others the wrong way, but the one of the few who never intended to. And I'm wondering how the others are dealt with.
Whitefang
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#2984465 - 04/10/19 06:43 AM Re: Eliminating all the stress in my life. [Re: Scott Fraser]
p90jr Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member

Registered: 11/21/07
Posts: 3284
Originally Posted By: Scott Fraser
Friends, I hope we can all take a deep breath, step back, & remember why we're all here in the first place.

Nobody here has the right to drive anyone else out, (except the moderators), but equally, nobody should ever feel compelled to leave the forum based on interactions with any individual. Let's all remember that text based conversation loses all the body language, inflection & facial gestures which tell humans everything they need to know about another's intentions. Misinterpretation is easy, much is either not communicated, or is communicated incorrectly, or with errors. But mainly, unlike many face to face encounters, if something rubs the wrong way, we all have the option of ignoring it. We don't have to prove any points if those points aren't somehow apparent to someone else. We can all step away from a brewing argument.

Back to guitars, I spent some great time yesterday with a PRS CE24. Loved everything about it, couldn't find any bad sounds within it, might could open my wallet for it.


+ 1

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#2984603 - 04/10/19 11:22 PM Re: Eliminating all the stress in my life. [Re: p90jr]
skipclone 1 Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member

Registered: 08/21/03
Posts: 8332
Loc: Japan
I`ll just post a quick comment-WF has a point, that this forum was pretty much total anarchy back in the day. There were really good people but also a lot of crazies. It was up to individual members to band together and stand up to the crazies. That is no longer the case. It would be a good show of adaptability and dare I say it-maturity-for every member to value everyone who is here equally.
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#2984621 - 04/11/19 04:42 AM Re: Eliminating all the stress in my life. [Re: skipclone 1]
whitefang Offline
10k Club

Registered: 05/13/02
Posts: 11601
Loc: Lincoln Park, MI, UNITED STATE...
I've always done that Skip. But I never thought by this point, a little "playful banter" and teasing, would be taken all that too seriously by what I've always considered open minded people.

While some accuse me of intentional vitriol, most of that I ever posted was response in kind to anyone that first threw it MY way. And there's ONE person here who made it HIS habit, and I think we're all aware of who that is, but never once did I consider leaving the forum, or demand the Mods and administrators "banish" him because of it. It's like in life....

Smack me, and I'll likely smack you back. I never considered this a place for ego massage, so when it doesn't come my way, I'm not bothered. But then so... I'll try harder to be a bit more careful in my discourse. But let's speak hypothetically.....

Imagine any of you have the chance to express your view(s) on a wide variety of issues in front of a crowd of 50 people. So, AFTER your presentation, you discover that TWO, maybe THREE in that crowd of 50 were offended by what you said? Now how could you prevent something like that from happening? How could you possibly know who, and how many would respond that way? Only when they speak up and out about it will you ever know, and sometimes by then the whole thing is blown way out of proportion and becomes a bigger deal than it's warranted. Plus too, as I always stress, it's often a case of misperception. and NObody can predict who or how many will be prone to that. And too, if I misconstrue what any of you say, and I then too, find it offensive, that would more by MINE to own, and not yours. And too, let's put some of the blame on The "Bard", who, in his play HAMLET, (act1, scene3) Polonius says; "This above all, to your own self be true." wink
Whitefang
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#2984672 - 04/11/19 10:25 AM Re: Eliminating all the stress in my life. [Re: whitefang]
skipclone 1 Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member

Registered: 08/21/03
Posts: 8332
Loc: Japan
Um...ya that`s part of what I am saying-as an open forum, there is an ever-changing cast of characters. None of us is in a position to make a fixed set of assumptions about a totally changing group of people. If you want to have a joust with members you know are okay, have at it. Otherwise, back off. How is that difficult? seems clear to me.
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#2984680 - 04/11/19 10:53 AM Re: Eliminating all the stress in my life. [Re: skipclone 1]
d / halfnote Offline
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Registered: 03/20/01
Posts: 7635
Loc: no longer lexington, Kenfunky,...
Originally Posted By: Fred_C
"Adults accept responsibility for their actions, or the lack thereof".
[The subject} refuses to accept responsibility. His claims of "good-natured ribbing" etc. is nothing more than a cop out.

Quote:
See, this is what I mean by context. I never denied posting whatever I did. And the "good natured ribbing" claim is a "cop out" only if it ISN'T true.(meaning if it wasn't my actual intent). And too, don't we want honesty here? Or....
DON'T we? I never looked at this forum as some kind of "virtual" masquerade party where we all take on false identities( beyond our "screen names" ) and NOT be ourselves.
I also never thought of this, or any other forum to be a place to come for getting insecurities assuaged. That, plus I'm not the only one here rubs others the wrong way, but the one of the few who never intended to. And I'm wondering how the others are dealt with.

All followed by more similar attempts at justification & shifting the discussion to all sorts of hypotheticals, etc.... rolleyes

Not to keep the blather going but I think it's apparent at least one person here just doesn't get it...& prolly never will.
Denial & self-justification are not subs for self-recognition
&/ or the seemingly too difficult act of just saying "Sorry"
or "I didn't mean anything bad"
or "I should be more thoughtful".
Then again why would one when they can keep suggesting that,
despite all the evidence, any offended parties have only themselves to blame.

This isn't abt being too sensitive but abt being not sensitive enough, except when oneself is annoyed, which, to me is the behavior that needs be addressed & modified.
This is not a new situation w/the person involved.
------------------------------
BTW, as far as surf vids
Originally Posted By: Dannyalcatraz
If we’re posting surf vids...


I posted that Beck clip
[1]as a sign of solidarity w/ a friend
&
[2] per the original intention of the song "Surf's Up"
as a message of cultural shift & awareness thereto,
not as a distraction from the unfortunate point here.
Is that point's discussion done ?
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#2984834 - 04/12/19 12:29 PM Re: Eliminating all the stress in my life. [Re: d / halfnote]
desertbluesman Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member

Registered: 05/22/07
Posts: 4973
Loc: Near Phoenix Az
I got into a fist fight with my neighbor over stupid s**t. I won the battle, but on the way to winning, the other guy fell off of my front steps and tore the railing off on his way down. He was a retired California Highway Patrol officer, and his wife was a retired sheriff in Clear Lake California. So they called the cops on me. Being a fan of court TV, and living in Arizona (the wild west) I told the police that he had me backed up against my front door, and was hammering his finger on my chest. (Bad move against a Wing Chun Kung Fu practitioner) It did not turn out well for that guy.

Anyways the local cops did not press charges against me. However It cost me $275 to have a new railing installed. Bottom line is; being polite to folks costs me not one single red cent, It is also disarming to the folks who want conflict. Since then I have been able to respond to aggression with a polite attitude, not acquiescence, I stand firm but I am reasonable. And I have learned martial arts skills that can result in fatalities or disablement in my opponent so I am never meek, just polite.... I never want to hurt anyone, but I will in self defense for me the house and the wifey if pressed to do so.

The moral of this story is; politeness gets you a lot farther than aggressive behavior does and with a lot stress.
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If it sounds good, it is good !!
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=143231&content=music
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#2985323 - 04/15/19 06:52 PM Re: Eliminating all the stress in my life. [Re: A String]
Bluesape Moderator Offline
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Registered: 06/13/05
Posts: 11764
Loc: Ottawa
I somehow don't see the intent to sting or be otherwise hurtful in most of the posts in question. We had far more difficult personalities to contend with a few years back, and I for one, would hate to see us resort to banning anyone, especially as these conflicts are mild compared to some fires we had to put out. This forum is on a far more even keel than it was a dozen or so years back, and nobody presently here is nearly as disruptive as more than a few idiots of that era. Sometimes texting is easily misinterpreted in terms of intent. We gotta learn to let some things ride. They're just words, after all.


Edited by Bluesape (04/15/19 06:53 PM)
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#2985337 - 04/15/19 08:45 PM Re: Eliminating all the stress in my life. [Re: desertbluesman]
CEB Offline
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Registered: 06/03/09
Posts: 13283
Originally Posted By: desertbluesman
I got into a fist fight with my neighbor over stupid s**t. I won the battle, but on the way to winning, the other guy fell off of my front steps and tore the railing off on his way down. He was a retired California Highway Patrol officer, and his wife was a retired sheriff in Clear Lake California. So they called the cops on me. Being a fan of court TV, and living in Arizona (the wild west) I told the police that he had me backed up against my front door, and was hammering his finger on my chest. (Bad move against a Wing Chun Kung Fu practitioner) It did not turn out well for that guy.

Anyways the local cops did not press charges against me. However It cost me $275 to have a new railing installed. Bottom line is; being polite to folks costs me not one single red cent, It is also disarming to the folks who want conflict. Since then I have been able to respond to aggression with a polite attitude, not acquiescence, I stand firm but I am reasonable. And I have learned martial arts skills that can result in fatalities or disablement in my opponent so I am never meek, just polite.... I never want to hurt anyone, but I will in self defense for me the house and the wifey if pressed to do so.

The moral of this story is; politeness gets you a lot farther than aggressive behavior does and with a lot stress.


Arizona? ... Augustine Fong's lineage?


Edited by CEB (04/15/19 08:46 PM)
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#2985346 - 04/15/19 09:29 PM Re: Eliminating all the stress in my life. [Re: desertbluesman]
Dannyalcatraz Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member

Registered: 07/28/04
Posts: 5803
Loc: Dallas/FW Metroplex, Texas
Originally Posted By: desertbluesman
I got into a fist fight with my neighbor over stupid s**t. I won the battle, but on the way to winning, the other guy fell off of my front steps and tore the railing off on his way down. He was a retired California Highway Patrol officer, and his wife was a retired sheriff in Clear Lake California. So they called the cops on me. Being a fan of court TV, and living in Arizona (the wild west) I told the police that he had me backed up against my front door, and was hammering his finger on my chest. (Bad move against a Wing Chun Kung Fu practitioner) It did not turn out well for that guy.

Anyways the local cops did not press charges against me. However It cost me $275 to have a new railing installed. Bottom line is; being polite to folks costs me not one single red cent, It is also disarming to the folks who want conflict. Since then I have been able to respond to aggression with a polite attitude, not acquiescence, I stand firm but I am reasonable. And I have learned martial arts skills that can result in fatalities or disablement in my opponent so I am never meek, just polite.... I never want to hurt anyone, but I will in self defense for me the house and the wifey if pressed to do so.

The moral of this story is; politeness gets you a lot farther than aggressive behavior does and with a lot stress.


I’m reminded of 2 video clips.

In one, a pimp or drug dealer thought he’d teach a lesson to the owner of a local dojo. It was a 1 punch fight.

The other, a UK street punk was threatening a man who was standing stoically on his own porch, legs shoulder wide, one hand clasping the wrist of the other at waist high. When the punk lunged, the man threw a single punch. As the punk’s cadre dragged their buddy away, his GF (maybe) respectfully closed the gate to the yard on their way out.

Me? I have no training, so I try to stay out of fights. But if not given the option to avoid a conflict, I’m a proverbial cornered rat.


Edited by Dannyalcatraz (04/15/19 09:31 PM)
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#2985354 - 04/15/19 10:40 PM Re: Eliminating all the stress in my life. [Re: Dannyalcatraz]
skipclone 1 Offline
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Registered: 08/21/03
Posts: 8332
Loc: Japan
I saw the first one-if memory serves, that was an elbow strike that knocked sense into-and consciousness out of-Mr. dealer guy.
One of my best mates here is a longtime Wing Chun guy-like myself, he has studied multiple styles. I have trained with both him and his teacher. We sometimes get into a friendly but pointed discussion about how to approach situations where people aren`t taking a hint. My friend makes the point that, it all starts from empty hands. I agree, in theory. A lot of my training involves weapons. He will inevitably bring up the legal issues. I will then bring up the point, that bad guys worry a lot less about that than he does. It`s weird-if we were talking about guns, I would most likely be on the opposite side. But if you are outgunned and outmanned-excuse the archaic terms-you need an equalizer. I don`t like the idea of jail-but I like it better than being dead. I have said before, that if things come down to fighting, your first two lines of defense have already failed. #1 is, don`t be there. #2 is, discuss the issues.


Edited by skipclone 1 (04/15/19 10:43 PM)
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www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandid=602491

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#2985364 - 04/15/19 11:38 PM Re: Eliminating all the stress in my life. [Re: skipclone 1]
Dannyalcatraz Offline
MP Hall of Fame Member

Registered: 07/28/04
Posts: 5803
Loc: Dallas/FW Metroplex, Texas
I carry no real weapons. I have folding pocket knives and large, metal-cased flashlights, that’s it.

I’d be more likely to injure MYSELF with anything serious.
_________________________
Sturgeon's 2nd Law, a.k.a. Sturgeon's Revelation: “Ninety percent of everything is crap”.

My FLMS- Murphy's Music in Irving, Tx

http://murphysmusictx.com/

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