Jump to content


Please note: You can easily log in to MPN using your Facebook account!

Eliminating all the stress in my life.


Recommended Posts

Hi everyone, it is 4:40am and I am getting ready for my 45 min drive to Honolulu for school. After weeks of thought I have decided to leave GP forum. The stress of having to be perfect in my choice of words, my spelling and my grammar is to stressful for me. I now realize I can never live up to Whitefangs expectations of perfection. For everyone else I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of your kindness, your help and your patience. Do not worry about me, I will be surfing, playing music and loving my life.

 

Jenny S.
Link to comment
Share on other sites



  • Replies 79
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Top Posters In This Topic

Do what I do - stick around, but just block viewing his responses. Communicate with the ones who matter to you, without having to read irrelevant posts.

 

Either way, I thank you for your contributions, and wish you nothing but the best.

"Am I enough of a freak to be worth paying to see?"- Separated Out (Marillion)

NEW band Old band

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I hope you reconsider. THis site has so much information and many helpful members - there is much to miss out on. Plus as you grow older you will learn to just grin at people that get under your skin instead of feeling stress. Jim
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Surfergirl, please stick around. It's great to have a wide variety of people here with different tastes, experiences, and ideas. I always enjoy reading anything you write, because it's from a completely different point of view.
I rock; therefore, I am.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi everyone, it is 4:40am and I am getting ready for my 45 min drive to Honolulu for school. After weeks of thought I have decided to leave GP forum. The stress of having to be perfect in my choice of words, my spelling and my grammar is to stressful for me. I now realize I can never live up to Whitefangs expectations of perfection. For everyone else I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of your kindness, your help and your patience. Do not worry about me, I will be surfing, playing music and loving my life.

Hang out surfer girl, and don't take the Fang's picking apart spelling and grammar corrections to heart. I simply ignore it when he goes off like that. No one else here wants to pick people apart like that, he must be unaware of how he makes folks feel, but I have learned to work my way around his little "but ins" with being able to ignore his shtick. Anyways best of luck in your education. I hope to see you back here after a bit.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

The man made a couple of snarky remarks regarding various things I posted a couple of years back and I ignored it rather than get into a flame fight or whatever.

 

Bottom Line: not worth my time and not worth yours. Unfortunate that it was in your mind that long - took me about 5 minutes and is mainly the reason I don't bother much with this forum.

 

My advice would be to toughen-up because your journey through life will be full of people who bitch, complain and cause problems for no apparent reason other than an inflated ego or some deep-routed desire to be a PITA.

Been round the block but am not over the hill...

 

http://www.bandmix.ca/jamrocker/

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If, after having been exposed to someone's presence, you feel as if you've lost a quart of plasma, avoid that presence. You need it like you need pernicious anemia.

 

We don't like to hear the word "vampire" around here; we're trying to improve our public image. Building a kindly, avuncular, benevolent image; "interdependence" is the keyword -- "enlightened interdependence".

 

Life in all its rich variety, take a little, leave a little. However, by the inexorable logistics of the vampiric process they always take more than they leave -- and why, indeed, should they take any?

 

~William S. Burroughs, Advice for Young People

Sturgeon's 2nd Law, a.k.a. Sturgeon's Revelation: âNinety percent of everything is crapâ

 

My FLMS- Murphy's Music in Irving, Tx

 

http://murphysmusictx.com/

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yeah, don't blame any of this on ME! Bartholomew had the right approach, as most of my pointing out any spelling and grammar flaws are only meant as CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. AND also played a large part in MY improvement in that area. MY main fault in a lot of this is my refusal to be anyone's enabler. Plus, it's all mostly done good natured, and was NEVER meant to be taken as serious affront.

 

I guess too, that I'm still used to how most of us behaved in this place back in "the day". A lot of "good natured" pickin' at one another was done here(and I was the recipient of a LOT of it!) and most took it all in the spirit in which it was given. :)

 

So, please stick around. Otherwise, THIS might be the "future" of music we ALL might get stuck with! :P

 

[video:youtube]

 

:laugh:

Whitefang

I started out with NOTHING...and I still have most of it left!
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi everyone, it is 4:40am and I am getting ready for my 45 min drive to Honolulu for school. After weeks of thought I have decided to leave GP forum. The stress of having to be perfect in my choice of words, my spelling and my grammar is to stressful for me. I now realize I can never live up to Whitefangs expectations of perfection. For everyone else I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of your kindness, your help and your patience. Do not worry about me, I will be surfing, playing music and loving my life.

 

That saddens me... two of the things this board vitally needs to not literally die off are younger posters and female posters, and that it is a stressful, unwelcoming atmosphere for you is sad. I would hope it would give the regular posters cause for reflection... the world is changing all around us. In my youth (I've officially crossed over into non-youth) I was probably the epitome of the guy everyone considered to be someone who made everyone feel comfortable and heard, now I have younger males telling me I'm a blowhard bully who steamrolls over everybody around me. I haven't changed, the world and society have, and if I want to be a part of it I need to adapt a little bit. Or I can go live in a cave and talk to myself.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The "3rd grade education" thing was the end for me. I do not consider that "CONSTRUCTIVE criticism", I call it mean and hurtful. Whatever I did to deserve that, I apologize.

 

You should not apologize as you did nothing to deserve it, and it was mean and hurtful.

 

This is one of the things I've had to consider in dealing with musicians younger than myself... I can't make offhand comments or criticisms as I would to a peer because even if I consider them that way they are giving me a little more weight in the exchange. If one of your classmates said that it wouldn't bother you as much... you'd just shut it down.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The "3rd grade education" thing was the end for me. I do not consider that "CONSTRUCTIVE criticism", I call it mean and hurtful. Whatever I did to deserve that, I apologize.

 

You should not apologize as you did nothing to deserve it, and it was mean and hurtful.

 

No, it was spiteful trolling and I'm sick to death of it.

 

Surfergirl has contributed more to the tone of the discussion in this Forum than our resident troll, and it's about time he was blocked or banned, period. I don't care how miserable the old bastard is in his life, let him take it out on himself, instead of trolling everyone in here. I can't think of one useful or constructive remark from the troll, and we've all become "enablers' by not calling him out on it. IRL, he'd have been invited to leave, or taken a good punch in the face by now, possibly both.

 

If the rest of you are too polite to say, I'm not - Whitefang is nothing but a miserable god-damned troll, and contributes nothing but strife to this Forum. I've done myself the favor of backing his remarks, and if the moderators won't ban him, I suggest everyone simply block him, until he realizes that no one is seeing his posts anymore, and he's just left trolling himself. No one else needs his abuse, anymore . . .

 

No, this isn't the tone I want to bring to this Forum, either, but when I see a contributing young member getting ready to leave, because of this dead weight, it's time to cast someone loose . . . Where are the moderators when Whitefang is bullying people in here?

"Monsters are real, and Ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win." Stephen King

 

http://www.novparolo.com

 

https://thewinstonpsmithproject.bandcamp.com

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

That saddens me... two of the things this board vitally needs to not literally die off are younger posters and female posters, and that it is a stressful, unwelcoming atmosphere for you is sad. I would hope it would give the regular posters cause for reflection... the world is changing all around us. In my youth (I've officially crossed over into non-youth) I was probably the epitome of the guy everyone considered to be someone who made everyone feel comfortable and heard, now I have younger males telling me I'm a blowhard bully who steamrolls over everybody around me. I haven't changed, the world and society have, and if I want to be a part of it I need to adapt a little bit. Or I can go live in a cave and talk to myself.

 

I wish we had an upvote system on this board. Well said.

Sturgeon's 2nd Law, a.k.a. Sturgeon's Revelation: âNinety percent of everything is crapâ

 

My FLMS- Murphy's Music in Irving, Tx

 

http://murphysmusictx.com/

Link to comment
Share on other sites

No, it was spiteful trolling and I'm sick to death of it.

Well said amigo. I do put up with him because he is a regular and sometimes he is reasonable. However it is time we all called him out on his rudeness. Maybe he does not intend it as rudeness, but it certainly comes across as rude and unnecessary, especially to point his vehemence at a decent young female forum citizen. I hope she reads all of this and sees that we support her as a member, and stays with us. She can block him easily and be done with his remarks. To ignore him surfergirl click on his name, select his profile, and click on ignore this user. That should do it. Almost everyone else on the board supports you staying, and we will defend you as soon as anyone is unnecessarily critical of you......Especially against anyone who is unreasonably nitpicking insignificant little things so rudely. Hang out surfergirl we will help.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

The "3rd grade education" thing was the end for me. I do not consider that "CONSTRUCTIVE criticism", I call it mean and hurtful. Whatever I did to deserve that, I apologize.

 

Surfer Girl, The only one who needs to apologize is Whitefang. If he's man enough to do so. If not, I'm going to follow the advise of the others and block him so I do not have to read his future comments. Trying to pass this off as constructive criticism or just good natured fun does not cut it with me. Accusing you of not reading the NPR article that you described was also rude. Thus I posted the written NPR article link for you. You can tell that we all support you 100% and really want you to stay with us. I have already stopped responding to him on this and on the other forum. He just can't leave me and anything I post out of his "constructive criticism" path. Hang in there Surfer Girl! Sincerely, Larryz

Take care, Larryz
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think folks should decide whats best for them.

 

We live in a somewhat crazy world. I am not making excuses for anyone, but we have to expect a 'variety ' of behavior in most walks of life.

 

All I can say is, make a decision and Don't Look Back.

 

which is the title of a song I wrote this week:

 

 

Why fit in, when you were born to stand out ?

My Soundcloud with many originals:

[70's Songwriter]

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The "3rd grade education" thing was the end for me. I do not consider that "CONSTRUCTIVE criticism", I call it mean and hurtful. Whatever I did to deserve that, I apologize.

 

You should not apologize as you did nothing to deserve it, and it was mean and hurtful.

 

That's true. I'll apologize for it, and sincerely. And for the record, the proper quote should be, "3rd grade English." ;) And too, the kind of thing I've seen TOO much of(poor grammar and spelling) on FB(where too, people get deeply hurt if you just post a different point of view :rolleyes: ), and only just in more recent years in this forum.

 

And what's hurtful is after nearly 20 years in this forum, many STILL don't seem to know me. If they did, they wouldn't be offended because that's the way I, and many others that used to be here were(are). And there's been plenty of times I was harder on mySELF than I ever was on anyone else.

 

There was(is) a member here who, when upset over really nothing (too thin a skin on that one), would not only adorably take to calling me a "hack", but also feel the need to point out how "serious" and WELL TRAINED he is as a musician, but too, the "adorable" part being he probably thought he was insulting me. But, truth be told, the FIRST person to call me a "hack" in this forum was ME! ;) AND on several occasions. All one EVER had to do was respond in kind, and we'd be good. ;) Face it....

 

Internet forums contain a collection of people from all over the world, and the world is NO place to go through with a thin skin, else one will NEVER find comfort. And too, didja ever consider that possibly, my criticism and attempts to make corrections in someone's grammar or spelling( and I too, make mistakes in that area also) is because I think HIGH ENOUGH about them that they'd be OK with a slight correction? And too, think high enough about them that they'd know the difference between ACTUAL mean spirited criticism and "good natured" tongue in cheek "pickin" ". ;)

 

So, next time any of you think I stepped out of line, let me HAVE it! Either here, or in PM, I'm OK with it.

Whitefang

I started out with NOTHING...and I still have most of it left!
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I stand corrected, it was English not education. I should have checked my facts before I posted. In order to put this to rest, I accept your apology and will believe it is sincere. I would rather have had it a week ago, but today is fine.

You seem to think I am thin skinned, you were right. As a surfer you have to be thick skinned. Every wave has a chance to humiliate you, and when it does your Mother, boyfriend, best friends and every who saw you would show no mercy. Here I was in a different element, and before yesterday I was thin skinned. Yesterday I decided to stand up for myself, not knowing or caring what the backlash might be. Yesterday I became thick skinned.

 

Jenny S.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I stand corrected, it was English not education. I should have checked my facts before I posted. In order put this rest, I accept your apology and will believe it is sincere. I would rather have had a week ago, but today is fine.

You seem to think I am thin skinned, you were right. As a surfer you have to be thick skinned. Every wave has a chance to humiliate you, and when it does your Mother, boyfriend, best friends and every who saw you would show no mercy. Here I was in a different element, and before yesterday I was thin skinned. Yesterday I decided to stand up for myself, not knowing or caring what the backlash might be. Yesterday I became thick skinned.

 

Welcome back surfergirl. In order to surf the waves of the ocean, you have to be absolutely brave. Example; on the paddle out from the first wave I successfully rode, I was paddling out in Kill Devil Hills on the outer banks of North Carolina, I saw a 15 foot shark riding the wave crest just outside the break.

 

Another time I was surfing somewhere near Solana Beach California, I paddled out to this cloud break which was peeling rights on a perfect windless day and there was no one out, I paddled out even though I was alone out there because the waves were perfect, glassy, head high, breaking top to middle. I had it all to myself when a giant Sea Lion or whatever it was, popped up next to my surfboard and looked at me not 2 feet from my face and just stayed there just staring at me. That was a heart stopper for sure.

 

I never surfer Oahu, but I did surf Kauai. The waves were awesome. The biggest I ever surfed was double overhead at Cardiff Reef, and one of the breaks just north of Cardiff Reef California. Anyways in order to surf the ocean waves you have to conquer fear like no other sport that I have ever tried.

 

Just hang in here with us, we all like you just as you are, and most of us will help in any way to keep you comfortable here on this board.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I stand corrected, it was English not education. I should have checked my facts before I posted. In order to put this to rest, I accept your apology and will believe it is sincere. I would rather have had it a week ago, but today is fine.

You seem to think I am thin skinned, you were right. As a surfer you have to be thick skinned. Every wave has a chance to humiliate you, and when it does your Mother, boyfriend, best friends and every who saw you would show no mercy. Here I was in a different element, and before yesterday I was thin skinned. Yesterday I decided to stand up for myself, not knowing or caring what the backlash might be. Yesterday I became thick skinned.

 

Well, MY "backlash" is....

I'd be disappointed if you, or ANYONE ELSE didn't take me to task. And I suppose I should scale back on the "curmudgeon" a bit. :)

 

But too, I suppose in this case it has a bit to do with envy.....

 

I mean, if some of the worst "stress" I ever had to deal with was what some crabby old fart of a bitch on some (and essentially when in context with the "big picture") pissant internet message board posts, my life would be GOLDEN! ;):love:

 

Well, that and the surfing....

 

The only surfing I do, and am capable of, is usually done with a TV remote! :hitt::wacko:

Whitefang

I started out with NOTHING...and I still have most of it left!
Link to comment
Share on other sites

The mods are watching.

 

There is a fine line between being fair and doing the right thing. I have given Whitefang a few warnings now. Personally, I only like to ban as an absolute last resort. I can see that Whitefang is still making people uncomfortable and upset and as such, am offering one last ditch attempt at a final warning:

 

Whitefang, the environment here was toxic, "back in the day". If you were in the "Club" it was cool but for everyone else, it was a rough go. Just because you belonged to a group of trolls/bullies back in the day, doesn't somehow mean it's acceptable to do, now that the place is cleaned up. This forum is meant to be an open and inviting place to all. If you feel as though you will have trouble following the rules and "de-trolling" yourself, I will not hesitate to ban you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The mods are watching.

 

There is a fine line between being fair and doing the right thing. I have given Whitefang a few warnings now. Personally, I only like to ban as an absolute last resort. I can see that Whitefang is still making people uncomfortable and upset and as such, am offering one last ditch attempt at a final warning:

 

Whitefang, the environment here was toxic, "back in the day". If you were in the "Club" it was cool but for everyone else, it was a rough go. Just because you belonged to a group of trolls/bullies back in the day, doesn't somehow mean it's acceptable to do, now that the place is cleaned up. This forum is meant to be an open and inviting place to all. If you feel as though you will have trouble following the rules and "de-trolling" yourself, I will not hesitate to ban you.

 

I apologize for the tone of my own post in this thread, as I feel I've hit "troll" level, but I can't apologize for the points I made, however crudely expressed.

 

Bullies always whine that they're just mis-understood fun guys, but when someone says, "Stop that, it hurts/ annoys/upsets me!" and the response is "Why would I stop, I think it's funny?", "It's just who I am!", or "You're too sensitive!", that's just abuse, and a clear sign the abuser has no intention of stopping the behavior.

 

The age card won't play here, either. WF should be old enough to remember when no grown man - no decent, sober man, at least - would find it funny nor acceptable to abuse and humiliate a young lady, particularly in a public space. (No, I don't want to see a return of 19th Century paternalism and chauvinism, but my point still holds - this was never acceptable behavior.)

 

I've had one thread I started, concerning a silly pedal, of all things, turn into a virtual screaming match between WF and another member who we no longer see in here, and FWIW, WF contributed nothing of worth to the thread, just upended it. That happens too often.

"Monsters are real, and Ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win." Stephen King

 

http://www.novparolo.com

 

https://thewinstonpsmithproject.bandcamp.com

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Mainly, I don't want to see a witch hunt. I know folks are upset. Whitefang was having a rough go and took it out on the forum. He shouldn't have. His continuing to defend his actions are not a good indicator, but I want to at least give him one more try. Armed with all of the info, should we see any further issues, there will be a ban. However, I implore everyone to give him one last chance.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Unfortunately, your content contains terms that we do not allow. Please edit your content to remove the highlighted words below.
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...